"We went to a lot of challenges this season. We weren’t supposed to be in the playoffs or finish first overall. We always found another level. We always responded well to what’s in front of us, and I don’t think it’ll be different tomorrow."
- Coach Fucktard Carbonneau, yesterday's press conference
You know what would make a difference today, fucktard? You doing some coaching instead of worrying about your fucking lucky tie. Not just pretending something good will happen. Not implementing some useless defensive system on the eve of the playoffs when your team led the fucking league in goals scored this year. Do you even look at the stats? Oh, and Bruins were on the ice yesterday, working hard in prep for the big game. You gave the guys the day off to masturbate. Who needs practice now anyway right? We're playing so well, no need to change anything. Fucktard.
Hey ho, I'm back from LG77 rant land. That was fun. Couple of quick notes to get the conversation started, and of course, as this may be my last preview for the year, they are in bullet point form:
- 7 PM start, Bell Centre, all the usual crappy (RDS excepted) media outlets;
- Happy Patriot's Day to our friends at Bruins for Life and Ghosts of the Garden. Sam Adams and Pawtucket Patriot Ale for everyone!
- Lineup changes? I doubt it. that would involve, you know, coaching;
- I could give you a bunch of stats about history, and Game 7's, and 2004, but fuck that shit. One and done, that's all that matters. Plus, I need to save blog real estate space to post the awesome photo below. Big thanks to uber-hot Habs fan Carolina and her equally uber-hot friend Jessica for permission to post. I love this town. Go hockey pants.
i'm thirsty
ReplyDeleteWell I see there's no lineup changes, but Coach is wearing his lucky tie. And you dare bash his coaching style - FOR SHAME!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the pick of BigTits and LilTits, or is it Big and Bigger...
Yes and doubly yes.
ReplyDeleteOh, and up top gets a double yes too.
And some people say pink gear is offensive...
Who can focus on work today. I'm still in shock from Sat. night.
ReplyDeleteWe gave up the lead three times, Price has forgotten how to be a goalie, Kovalev is doggin' it again, there is no defensive scheme to talk about, Saku was brilliant and we still lose? The PP is so brutal,I don't know where to start and Carbo gives the team the day off? Gainey, Carbo and Muller might be the best defensive forwards of all time and they can't teach the team to hold the lead. What's missing?
The cans of beer are in for tonight's game. I wore my Habs jersey, t-shirt & baseball cap at college, apparently I look like Mario. You learn something new every day.
ReplyDeleteI very much approve of the picture choice for this match thread. Habs + boobs = victory.
Lucky tie. Lucky tie?! We're screwed.
ReplyDeleteIf the lucky tie is all the changes Carbo is making re: the gam plan, lineup, the utter inability to combat everything and anything Julien and his boys throw at the Habs, etc etc etc, it might double as his noose after the Habs lose.
ReplyDeleteFucking Lucic. Sorry, that just slipped out.
"Game plan". Not gam plan. Fucking Lucic.
ReplyDeleteNo, no, no, it's not time to start drinking heavily yet! I still have a lot of work to do today, so save the drinking for 5:30 on.
ReplyDeleteI feel like an apt rhyme might save the day. In fact, I'll go a step further and try to make it a haiku.
I wish the Habs win,
beat those damn Boston Brew-ins,
my head makes me spin.
Sorry, it's the best I can do at 2:30.
I've had a sinking feeling all day, but I just took a dump and feel great.
ReplyDeleteHabs win, 4-1.
Poetry time eh. Desperate measures, says I, desperate measures. But the boys won game 4 after I posted this so here goes again:
ReplyDeleteOh squiggly line, in my eye fluid.
I see you lurking there on the periphery of my vision.
But when I try to look at you, you scurry away...
Are you shy, squiggly line?
Why only when I ignore you, do you return to the center of my eye?
Oh, squiggly line, it's alright... you're forgiven.
This last line is telling the future after squiggly line (Kovy) wakes the fuck up and pots one and sets up another (PP) en route to a 5-1 victory this evening.
This is funny because I actually have one of these and the optometrist says the common term for these are 'floaters'. i.e. Kovy.
Don't make me kill you Alex. I know which line to cut on your plane - I saw it in a movie.
I'm going through every superstitious ritual I've had and discarded since I was six years old today lol. White habs hat from 4-5pm, blue one from 5-6pm...jersey on at 7:10. Shrine candle lit also at 7:10 pm....
ReplyDeleteCarbonneau's lucky tie has no match.
@fezworth: DON'T. BADMOUTH. THE TIE.
ReplyDeleteSeeing as it's the only noticeable change that Carbo has made since Saturday, it may be our last chance unless the forwards pot a few tonight and the guys decides to fight together like a TEAM, not a loose collection of &%$*(#&($*(@(@.
Well folks, a Habs-Bruins game seven has even attracted the attention of The Sports Guy:
ReplyDeletehttp://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080421
Here's hoping all his good luck with the Red Sox and Patriots and Celtics lately gets a karmic punch in the mouth tonight. Fucking Lucic.
Nice symbolic floater poetry! (I have them too, but they never do hockey, only acrobatics.)
ReplyDeleteI am disappointed I will not be able to view this game tonight.. game 7's are something else...
ReplyDeleteEnjoy being a nervous wreck tonight. It's the most fun you can have while being obnoxiously close to a nervous breakdown.
@rips it: I am chastened. But seriously, we're screwed. It's all over. I have succumbed to an entire season of reading HF29's posts. We're doomed. (And I don't mean in a Komisarek way)
ReplyDeleteOk, I've started drinking now. Ciao for now!
ReplyDeleteCalm down, people. Deep breaths, and don't clench your hand too tight or you won't be able to high-five anybody after you beat Boston and move on to the second round.
ReplyDeleteOr try virtual animal sacrifices. It worked for the Red Wings!
:)
Well, I'm stuck at home with the flu today in Seoul. The good news is that I get to watch the game live. Maybe it's the fever or the irresponsible amounts of medication I'm talking, but I'm optimistic about tonight. I don't think my body can take a loss, I'm so close to death as it is.
ReplyDeleteNow to snort some Neocitrin.
-orangeman
OK, time to see if the CH is for CHamps, or the other CH word, which I will not utter or type - for now.
ReplyDeleteBon Courage all!
Nice tip-in by Chara on DOOM's goal - BWAHAHAHA
ReplyDeletelucky tie? makes me think of the Instigator(I'll find the actual link later) where a coach is saying on TV, "Well, plain an simple, we lost because Bob didn't wear his lucky socks"
ReplyDeleteIt's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's the Flying Frenchmen!
ReplyDeleteThis is how the Habbies should play. This is their way. Kovy! Koivu! DOOM!
I'm all worked up and shit.
-orangeman
found it:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/instigator/gfx/blamegame.jpg
maybe this link will work better?
ReplyDeletehttp://tinyurl.com/3wvknj
Can anyone tell me where our defence has disappeared to? Hamrlik is abysmal so far.
ReplyDeleteThe forwards are playing very well, the D..........if you don't have anything nice to say, etc...
PS: I wrote the above before the second Boston PP. They're playing slightly better but my point still stands.
1) Why was the Higgins-Koivu-Kovy experiment ended? They created some good chances!
ReplyDelete2) TFS(tm) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3) PP still sucks.
PK isn't sucking.
ReplyDeleteHabs are lucky to be up 1-0.
RDS just said Glen Murray is hurt & not returning.
ReplyDelete21 and 11 are hot.
ReplyDelete(And I don't necessarily mean Carbo and Muller)
71 is brutal.
ReplyDeletePlease. Bench. Breeze.
Good Evening everyone!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're not gonna believe this, but i was in the dentist's chair from 430 to 7. from what i saw of the first (in a bar near the dentist) the dentist was less painful. even with a 1-0 lead, we sucked. am i wrong? admittedly im a little dazed from the dentist
i have not even had a drink yet. i just tried to drink, but i drooled it all out. im going straight to the meth
WOW!
ReplyDeleteStreit!!!! yeah baby. what a move
ReplyDeleteBbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeaaaaaauuuuuuutiful.
ReplyDelete-orangeman
Just saw Chretien waving a flag on CBC. Strange.
ReplyDelete-orangeman
@orangeman - that Chretien sighting wasn't strange, it was downright warped
ReplyDeleteI love Tits!
ReplyDeletetits tits tits tits tits tits woooooooooooo
ReplyDeleteThat PP looked great!!!
ReplyDeleteHaving the perfect finish didn't hurt either. The Habs look terrific right now. What a bit of true confidence can do, eh?
@rips it - we still have a third period to play. we're not so good in those lately, remember?
ReplyDeleteam now drinking whiskey through a straw
@HF29: Good, you saw Chretien too. I thought it might have been a feverish hallucination. I often see former PMs when I'm delirious.
ReplyDeleteSee, this is the Habs team I love. Fast and creative Offence along with a complete disregard for Defence. I think Price does his best when he's left alone.
-orangeman
believe, people! believe in your habs!
ReplyDelete- Anto
Stupid penalty at a horrible time by Kovalev.....
ReplyDeleteBest Habs period of the playoffs.
ReplyDeletepollock is a schmuck (yes a remnant Jewish bit).
ReplyDelete@HF29: Oh, I am all too aware of our third period "performances" but this seems different.....the Habs have just played their best consistent period of hockey since Game 1, IMO. It's definitely not over yet BUT the way they're playing, it's theirs to lose.
ReplyDelete@moeman - that was pretty close at least. still not perfect, but at least we opened it up dammit
ReplyDelete@phoff - welcome back btw! good to see you guys arouond again
@Orangeman - It wasn't a disregard for defence, it was the transition game that finally came back!
ReplyDeleteI want more of this in the 3rd, please!
Anyone see Slowinski's breakaway that became a 1-on-1? Lol!
@sonia - i saw it. classic. Slowinski got his nickname for good reason
ReplyDeletesonia, Slowinski's slowing down was funny. I bet his teammates rib him for that. Did he get a shot off? No? Not surprised but having said that Smoke has been good tonight. Betcha he's sucking some oxygen in the dressing room.
ReplyDelete@Sonia: You're right, it is the return of the transition game. That's what they do best and we're seeing the fruits of that here.
ReplyDelete*IF* (no offence, oh great Hockey Gods) the Habs end up moving to the next round I hope the one thing they take out of this series is to play their own game and not to try to be something they're not. And that they can't be overconfident. And they have to play 60 minutes.
Ok, 3 things.
Yay! 3rd period!
-orangeman
this is great! Everyone's actually awake today!
ReplyDelete"fezworth said...
ReplyDeletethis is great! Everyone's actually awake today!"
Except Breeze.
this parade to the penalty box will come back to haunt us. 3-0 lead and you can't play disciplined hockey??? fuck you Habs
ReplyDeletehf29, I slightly agree but the Habs PK is clicking and penalty math says mcreary+pollock=WTF?!
ReplyDeleteTo all FHFers, I apologize. Ever since I nicknamed #79 'Vodkov' he's been playing like he's hungover. I take the blame for his crappy series. Now I need another Sleeman's Red.
ReplyDelete@moeman - accepted. but there could be a million reasons. mmm Sleeman Red. HF10's go to beer
ReplyDeleteso who saw that Breezer pass to spring Higgins? fabulous! of course, 9 out of 10 times that's an interception at the blue line
Aggressive forechecking: Check
ReplyDeleteContesting (and winning) battles along the boards: Check
Cycling the puck: Check
Thank you Habs. Apart from the parade to the penalty box at the start of the third, this period has been damnably good.
Ce soir, Les Canadiens sont là!
ReplyDeleterips knows, this is step on the Pooh's throat kinda period we haven't seen this series.
ReplyDeletei hear faint na na na na goodbye singing. kill me
ReplyDeleteI wish they would shut up till we were under a minute
ReplyDeletejust got much louder
ReplyDeleteDirty play running into Price with such little time left. Nasty Bs.
ReplyDelete-orangeman
jacking threads:
ReplyDeleteA few nights ago, I had a dream where I went to the Bell Centre Bell for a game waving a gay pride flag just to be funny.I saw 4 guys just across the way and somehow, despite not knowing them or recognizing their faces, I knew they were the Four Habs Fans. I don't remember much after that, except it was awesome
In fairness, I think the game (and series!) is safe now.
ReplyDelete.....please don't kill me!
@moeman: Agreed, we haven't seen the Habs play like they can since game 1 and even that wasn't as dominant as tonight.
beautiful threadjack LD!
ReplyDeleteNOW even I admit it's over
bruins loose! WOOOOOOOOO!!
ReplyDeleteI predicted a 5-0 win in game 1, but I'll take it in game 7. The Brother Tits open the series and then close it.
ReplyDeleteNow, the Rangers or Philly? Discuss.
-orangeman
ok that was lovely
ReplyDeletenow, prepare for 4 days of "we haven't won jack shit yet" from yours truly, only on FHF!
WHOOOOOOO! CAPS WON!!
ReplyDeleteI drink even more now
That was a lot 'tits!
ReplyDeleteRight, this is the second game in which I didn't wear my Habs jersey. The first game? Game 4, Price's first shutout - I was watching it in bed & I was roasting with my pjs & the jersey.
ReplyDeleteI remembered that game tonight, so I forsook the jersey for victory. This will become a fixture when it is most needed.
@orangeman - im scared of both those teams. well, im scared of everyone. think we could win a shootout against the Rangers?
ReplyDeleterips, I hope its 30 Celsius in late May!
ReplyDelete*and by "shootout", i mean that in the old meaning of that tterm, not the Buttman-era skills competition meaning
ReplyDeleteLG77 gets an honourary Star for her pregame rituals. They worked awesomely!!! (Is that a word?)
ReplyDelete@sonia - works awesomely for me
ReplyDeleteI took a couple days off the hockey-based internet to cool off after the last couple games and today I decided to mess around with my dinky balcony-garden and listen to the game instead of sitting in front of the computer/tv, driving myself to a coronary/Bob Cole-fueled murder spree. It worked pretty well for all parties.
ReplyDeleteI watched a lot of the other game, too; I kind of hope the Flyers pull it out tomorrow, because I can see Montreal beating up on a tired Flyers a lot more easily than the scary Rangers. Marty Biron over Hank Lundqvist? Yes, please. Unfortunately Ovechkin seems to have finally asserted himself.
much honking and hooting on St Antoine street right now
ReplyDelete(casa del 29 is 6 blocks down from the Phone Booth)
Carey Price: The world's most exciting man (but we love him all the same :-p).
ReplyDeleteI would prefer playing Philly over the Rangers but we can only beat whose in front of us. There's no reason why the Habs can't beat whoever they face next, as long as they recall the main lesson from tonight - PLAY YOUR OWN GAME, DAMMIT!
pj stock is a tit and not the good kind (apologies to any gal pals that are a touch offended)
ReplyDeleteI'd rather face Philly for several reasons. The biggest being that they have to play a tough Game 7 in Washington tomorrow night and apparently round 2 will start on Thursday. I'd prefer that over a well-rested Ranger team.
ReplyDeletePlus I really don't want that ass pimple Avery all over my computer screen.
But it will be what it will be. I think the Habs that showed up tonight can beat anyone anytime. The key is to play like that every game, not just when they absolutely have to.
-orangeman
Brava Les Habitants! The Maple Leaf gets carried into the second round, I keep TFS, Kovy and Little Tits in my playoff pool, and I get four more games of stripperific Game Day posts!
ReplyDeleteThe only thing that could make this playoff season any better is...oh, wait. Never mind.
Well said Orangeman.
ReplyDeleteI opened my windows and I could hear Mile End cheering.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to add that even though I want Philly to win for the Habs' sake, I still wish Huet all the best.
ReplyDeleteI also wanted to congradulate Julien on a very well coached series. I've always thought he got kind of a bum deal in Montreal and was terrified he was going to get his revenge here. He has nothing to be ashamed about.
I'm so medicated due to the flu and so happy with the win that I love everyone right now.
-orangeman
Well, that was easy, huh kids?
ReplyDelete29, the dentist and the meth have you confused ... the go-to beer is Creemore.
Christopher Higgins played his best game in months. The Tits boys were fantastic too. If this is the Habs team that shows up next round, I like their chances against anyone.
orangeman is totally medicated.
ReplyDeletei, however am, not! one series, people! we ain't won shit!!! stop honking you fuckers on St Antoine St!!!!
ok, different "medication"
10, you're right about Creemore of course. Sleemean Red is your living in Quebec go to beer
ReplyDeleteman i'd kill for one of those 500 ml bottles now. mmm
For the uninitiated, when 29 says "Sleeman Red", he means original Sleeman with the red cap, not some horrible red/amber ale like Rickards. Just so you don't all think I'm some sort of degenerate.
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to beer. We all know I'm a degenerate in general.
Holy shit, I see big things happening for the titters. Like our version of the Sedin's.
ReplyDeleteYou have NO idea how loud it was at the Bell Centre tonight. No idea. Of the roughly 200 games I have seen in my life, that was the loudest I've ever heard it. I feel like I play guitar for The Who.
ReplyDeleteOpen Letter to Carbo:
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for getting your head out of your ass. I apologize for heaping so much shit in your direction over the past few days but, well, not to put too fine a point on it, you kind of deserved it.
I'm very glad that you FINALLY decided to put Kovy, Koivu and Higgins on a line together. I also very much like the Tits-Pleks-Tits line. I sincerely hope that they are here to stay, as is your return to a system with *gasp* TWO FORECHECKERS and an initial pass that doesn't have to cross all of the neutral zone in order to get the offence going.
Please tell the rest of your team that they are to be congratulated for how well they played tonight. They are also to be commended for the classy salute to the fans at the end of the game. That really meant a lot to me, up in section 315.
Finally, please tell Muller that, in spite of the fact that he's not aging particularly well, he still has a very nice butt.
Best regards,
LG77
Sonia - thanks for the shout out to my pre-game rituals. I am never looking at another playoff ticket ever again.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shout out in the pre-game comments, 29!! ;-)
4 - I totally agree with you. I have NEVER heard the Bell Centre as loud as it was tonight. I was screaming right there with them. Even though I was psyching myself up to see a loss, I was never able to fully shut up the little voice that kept nagging at me to keep up hope. That little voice turned into a roar the moment that the Habs hit the ice, and it never shut up again...
Oh, we had a bunch of really hilarious Boston fans behind us who turned their jerseys inside out when it hit 4-0. Hee!!
Anyone else going to the Cage for chicken wings tomorrow at lunch?? See you at the Bell Centre!! I'll be the chick in the black suit, wearing the habs t-shirt underneath!! :)
LG : Inspired by your thoughs, I went to the Cathedral before the game and paid 4 big bucks to light a "cierge". I didn't touch the tickets. I didn't wear red before the game.
ReplyDeleteDO you know where we could find small animals and/or children to offer as sacrifice to the hockey gods ?
It was a loud loud bell center tonight. It was an awesome perfomance...
HO ! And 29: guess who I saw after the game on René-Lévesque, walking with Stefan "here comes trouble" Dion and Peter Mahalovic? Your Man Kenny Dryden !!! I shook his fucking hand !
Not only do we win the series, but we are witness to a first (of what hopefullly will be man "Titty Trick" - 2 goals for Big Tits, 1 for Little Tits.
ReplyDeleteJesus Price Saves.
Not only do we win the series, but we are witness to a first (of what hopefullly will be man "Titty Trick" - 2 goals for Big Tits, 1 for Little Tits.
ReplyDeleteJesus Price Saves.
Fuckin sick....pure pleasure. Pure awesome. Writing blogs is joyful tonight. Brisebois was so bad. He scared me shitless.
ReplyDeleteBrisebois haiku:
Patrice is scary
Everytime he handles puck
Please put O'Byrne in
By the way, if anyone's still up, and didn't see it before the game when it made them nearly had an aneurysm, and just wants something that will warm their heart...
ReplyDeletehttp://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080421
Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.
you know, I even searched the comments for "espn" and I missed it being posted earlier. Fuck it, I might look dumb but at least I didn't make myself look like a total bandwagon fan just before the bandwagon ran off the cliff. Eat me, Bill.
ReplyDelete