Jews in Montreal are hysterical over the news that Mathieu Schneider is back in Montreal
The Jews are back on our bench! The Jews are back on our bench!
Stir the Matzah Ball Soup Ma! Curl up and watch When Harry Met Sally for the 17th time. Rattle off those Jewish Nobel Prize Winners again, cause THIS IS HAPPENING!
Mathieu Schneider is back.
Oy, has it ever been lonely since our Matty left us with our circumcised shmekels in our hands. It was a day that left our hearts as heavy as Ariel Sharon's,...as Ariel Sharon. One minute he was there, he was representing Côte-St-Luc pride all over the world, the next, he was gone, as gone as a peace process in Gaza.
G-d willing, he is here to stay and will bring back honor and pride to our team, and excellent latka recipes for us to enjoy.
Put on the tefilin, our payers have been answered. Respect the Sabbath and honor thy parents because glory glory is here.
Throw the pork away, Mazel Tov, we have been saved. our real Messiah is here and he is beautiful. Tear down your fences of hatred, and let the love pour in your hearts, for we have been so alone for so long. But alone we are no longer, because he is back, and his penis was cut when he was 6 days old, and it probably hurt him like hell, but they gave him some wine to knock his senses out and we Jews experience our first hangovers with bleeding dicks, so pray for us.
The Cup is near. Kiss the mezzuzah when you get home. The Cup is near.
oy gevalt
ReplyDeleteOne more move please Bob. I say adios Komisarek. Hello Jay Boo
ReplyDeleteAs a former Cote St. Luc resident, I need to make one correction: Ritual circumcision takes place on the eighth day following birth. Unless, that is, there was some kind of rush because they had plane tickets and it was their week in the condo in Hallandale.
ReplyDeleteWonder if he'll play well with Jesus TFS™ Price.
ReplyDeleteI'm also another former CSLer (although not Jewish), so I approve of this trade. Markov can go back to setting up the PP instead of being the big shot, Georges can play a few less minutes (which will make him better) and I can lock Breezer back in my trunk.
ReplyDeleteHe's making allot this year, but who cares. It's George's money to spend and he'll be gone or on a realistic deal next year.
Interesting to see if this is a set-up trade. DOOM for Boumeester? I wouldn't.
Here's mom's take:
ReplyDelete"But a 39-year-old, for 2nd and 3rd round draft picks? I think they could have made some BIGGER changes!"
I agree with mom
Meh.
ReplyDeleteSo he's our new #1 centre or what?
By my count this means we have 9 defencemen...8 when O'Byrne goes to Hamilton.
Is Bob packing the dressing room with Carbo's old teammates so that they will be forced to STFU and respect his AUTHORITA?
ReplyDeleteIf so, lame lame LAAAAME!
(And I'm also originally from CSL, but I'm a shiksa... go figure.)
This would've been nice about a month ago, Bob, but I think "forward who isn't a fucking pussy" should be at the top of your list right now.
ReplyDeleteit's official - Rhino to Ham
ReplyDeletemmm, rhino ham
So we got an offensive defenceman who has four goals and 13ish points this year?
ReplyDeleteWhat's next? Aaron Asham for his offensive ability?
complete waste of two high draft picks...good one Bobo.
ReplyDeleteGreat. Now we've got twice the number of players who won our last Stanley Cup. It must be a sign.
ReplyDeletePants. And not in the fun JHK way.
Ahhh, the long awaited return of the "trade a damn goalie and give this team a fucking forward that doesn't suffer from quadraplegia" tag....now we're really fucked.
ReplyDeletenostalgia ain't what it used to be
ReplyDeleteI hope there is more substance to this than bringing Matt back together with Breeze for old time's sake (or auld lang syne as we might say over here!)
I don't see how this trade makes us stronger? someone please explain?
ReplyDeleteI'd like to vent, bitch and complain but I'm so puzzled I don't know where to begin?