How about a random shot of tits in the morning? That get you fired up?Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of divorcing Mel Gibson...
- Canucks take Game 1;
- Pens win the opener;
- Rangers are victorious in the first game;
- Devils win, I'm out of synonyms;
- Oilers dump Craig MacTavish.
Inside view of the Massholes has been blended in this morning with a bunch of other stuff. Deal with it.
- If you only check FHF at work (what's wrong with you?), be sure to scroll down to HF4's forwards preview written during yesterday's dinner hour;
- Red Fisher thinks we have no chance;
- The crazy kids at Cycle like the Sedins have put together mini-blogs for each of the Playoff series. I would say that's a lot of work, but they got idiots like us to do the work and write for them. Check out 5 questions with yours truly, and Stanley Cup of Chowder's;
- CHATHA is pissed that a Boston hotel is giving discounts to Habs fans;
- Stanley Cup of Chowder presents great moments in Habs diving history. Yeah, you really can't get us angry by calling Mickey Ribs a diver;
- And finally, to get you fired up, here's Montreal rapper Annakin Slayd doing this year's French version of last year's 25 (Feels like '93). For a rap video it is sorely lacking in skanks and hos, and frankly it feels more like 1997 than 1993, but whatever, I'm a sucker for a Journey sample:
Breasts for breakfast!
ReplyDeleteGo Habs!
Even Aislin is positive!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOption 1: Call social services.
ReplyDeleteOption 2: Find a 16-year-old. Preferably one that listens to metal. Have him beat the shit out of the kid for you.
Option 3 (my favourite, but only works on the spot): Turn that little fuck over your knee and spank him. In the street. Preferably in front of his friends. Then haul him back to his mom's.
Option 4: Fuck his mom. Then go to his room. "What, BITCH? I'm fucking your mom!"
[ahem]. All that being said, Go Habs Go. Choke on the playoff pressure, Thomas. Lapierre, run that bastard and make him see red.
Memo to BGL: If Shawn Thornton is in your weight class at 217 lbs (or whatever the fuck criteria you use to decide if you can fight someone), then so is Milan Lucic at 220. Lucic clearly wants to be a top dog physically. Make him pay his dues, Georges.
What does Red Fisher know about hockey? Réjean thinks we'll take it in 6. He is an asshole but he predicted that habs would finish 9th, while all the other experts at LaPresse predicted 1sst seed.
ReplyDeleteOh it is so on. Puck can't drop soon enough.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm going to try and live in a sensory deprivation bubble from 6:30-9:30 while I'm auditioning for solos... and then run my ass home to watch the taped game.
ReplyDeleteGah - so much stress!! Between this, the auditions, the court of appeal on Monday and trial (which might get postponed, argh) on Tuesday/Wednesday, I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the day...
Mea maxima f-ing culpa for talking about my job on here... ;-)
GO HOCKEY
GO PANTS
GO HABS GO!!
Alright fuck boys in Black and Yellow you scanky assed two bit thugs with not a fucking IQ higher then 79...bring your small assed dicks to the fucking arena and get ready for the butt fucking of the century...your going to get pounded so fucking bad that your fans assholes are going to hurt. Those fuck tarts will probably like it anyways. BJL do what you have to and i don't fucking care if you bite someones ear off, we'll still love you...you fucking have been Bruins are going down, DOWN! ITS ON!
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the game everyone. i've gone to take some valium.
I deleted my personal revenge question to save room - I was just venting. But thanks Ian. I'm going to check with my wife, but I think she'll be OK with option 4 if it's for the good of the 'hood. She's skanky, but in a hot way...the mom, not my wife...who's hot, but not in a skanky way. I'll shut up now.
ReplyDeleteOnto hockey. My dead father told me in a dream to get my ass home - the game was starting and I DON'T want to miss the first 10 minutes. Which is true. But I was planting corn in a field and had no idea how to get home. Dad disappeared and I was feeling very anxious and stressed about missing the game.
Moral-I'm keeping my ass home tonight. Don't want the children of the corn fuckin' with me!
@L Dude: Of course, half my comment looks completely random now that you removed yours. Good luck with that little fuck.
ReplyDeleteIt's on. Long 8 hours ahead. Go Habs Go.
could someone please tell me what the official "it's too early to start drinking" hour is? have we passed it yet?
ReplyDelete@hf29, put the hard liquor in your coffee mug, less obvious yet just as tasty.
ReplyDeleteGO YOU FUCKING HABS, GO!!
ReplyDelete@ Ian Vitro: about your memo, YES!! finally! I've been saying that since the first game against them this year. Lucic turned away from BLG but he was ok fighting Boullion who was like a foot shorter and 30 lbs lighter? WTF!
ReplyDeleteAnnouncement: you may commence pregame drinking... ... NOW!
Go Hockey!
Go Habs Ga!
I hate black and gold wearing muthafuckers!
Pants!
I woke up this morning craving three things: a glass of bourbon, a donut, and an OT goal off Michael Ryder's tape to seal the victory for Boston.
ReplyDeleteHurrah, I can't wait to hear Don Cherry finally lose it and mutter, "LaFleur was asking for it, that French poufball" on air when Versus has the game on Saturday. I LOVE THE PLAYOFFS!
@Raquel - i agree with you 100%, assuming by "off Michael Ryder's tape to seal the victory for Boston" you mean "off Michael Ryder's tape into his own net to seal the victory for Montreal"
ReplyDeletemmmm... donut.
ReplyDeleteI just got called a heartless bitch by opposing counsel. I almost answered: "Oh, so I see you're a Bruins fan."
I don't think he would have appreciated the joke.
Looks like the children of the corn are going to be gunning for me seeing as I won't be there for the puck drop. :(
@HF29 if you start drinking now it will hurt less later
ReplyDelete@Raquel I don't need to restrict Bruins' winning goals to Ryder, though that would be sweet.
Dear Bob Gainey, please coach well and not not well.
ReplyDeleteThank you for listening to me.
I hope you've learned something about my presentation.
Fave donut = dutchie
ReplyDeleteWonder if tonight's ultra-positive, maybe-pants-wearing, pro-Habs game thread hits 400>500 comments?
This series HAS to go to at least 6 games or tonight's is the only one I'll see...snif. I say Habs in 6, so does my cat who's way smarter than Maggie the monkey.
ReplyDelete@Ian: I know. Now it's 'extra' funny! People will read it and say WTF to themselves, shake their head and move on. And they'll assume Option 4 is regarding Lucic and it's all good!
ReplyDeleteWord to what HF4 said.
ReplyDeleteIf BG busts out that fucking defensive, ineffective trapping, 1-2-2- system instead of a fucking forechecking system, I will lose my goddamned mind.
I'm hoping the Bruins score the same number of goals today as the amount of work I'm getting done - a BIG FAT ZERO!
ReplyDeleteI don't understand how habs fans can call Lucic a goon when BGL spent all morning shooting off a la Sean Avery about how Thornton is a chickenshit and he can't wait to fight him.
ReplyDelete@andie: Actually, I think we generally refer to Lucic as a gorilla. Often 'asshole'. Sometimes 'fucktard'. Goon? Not so much.
ReplyDelete@andie I think we all know that BGL is a goon. He's the definition of goon. But he's also a Hab. And Lucic, a motherfucking Bruin.
ReplyDeleteBesides, we want BGL to beat up Lucic and Thornton because they've been embarrassing our team all year while BGL has been out of the lineup. And the one game he is in the lineup, Lucic runs away like a faggot.
@ Ian + LDude I just thought that all the Bruins hatred had gotten to Ian's head and caused him to go apeshit.