Maybe she could convince Jay Bo to come to Montreal...
So much promise, but such a let down. Still, it could have been worse.
That's how I would describe Transformers 2 and how I anticipate I will describe the Habs UFA situation in a few days.
I admit, I'm a Transformers fanboy. I cried when Optimus died in the cartoon movie. What can I say, blame my parents for letting me watch back-to-back Transformers and GI Joe for 5 straight years of elementary school instead of forcing me to go outside.
Luckily I was a few years older when the Habs traded St. Patrick.
The first live-action TF movie was pretty good. I certainly didn't hate it - except that I thought it was a slap in the face to not only make Bumblebee a Camaro, but to see him punking an old Beetle. I was excited about this new one, and not just because of Ms. Sexy and her, um, assets, but because the studio apparently handed the producers a blank cheque to draw up a boatload of robots instead of the handful afforded in the first film.
Kind of like the potential offered by having the most salary cap room of any team in the NHL.
The TF producers had great characters to choose from between all the toys produced for the 80s cartoon and all the follow ups. Just like the Habs have a bunch of UFA's to choose from.
Most troublingly, though, TF2 did exactly what I didn't expect, and it didn't turn out the way I had hoped.
Anyhoo: guys, go see it for Megan Fox. Ladies, umm, enjoy the popcorn.
Defence
Jay Bo - sweeten the $5M that Komo wants. I love him, but the Habs should not pay more than $3.5-4M per for Komo. Ohlund if probably the second best option, but if so no more than 2 years cause I see a Hamr-like decline on Mattias' horizon. Johnny Oduya might be a good fit, but I recall reading Eklund say that it was "certain" that he would end up with the Habs, so that won't happen. Please not midget Beauchemin. Being tough doesn't change being a dwarf. If they need to sign another french guy, spend less on MA Bergeron (but Weber should have that job). Zubov should retire already. If Komo goes, McKee or Scuderi might be options for a defensive D-man. I have seen Adrien Aucoin play for Calgary. Do NOT sign Adrien Aucoin.
Wingers
Hossa - he's the best, but for the money he wants, keep Kovy and Tanguay. If not Hossa, then Havlat is #2. As for Gaborik, but you might as well sign Guy Lafleur for the amount of icetime he'll see if he signed in MTL. Gaborik wouldn't hit 20 games a season in a Habs uniform. Gionta is too small, Guerin too old, Bertuzzi too much of a sourpuss a-hole, and something about Callammeri just seems fishy to me. I say he's this summer's Jason Blake - a big payday after a fluke season. It sucks that it's inevitable that Eric Cole would suck as a Hab.
For depth wingers, if they sign anyone I would imagine it'll be Greek Lightening or Ian Laperriere. (Somewhere Pierre Houde's tongue just shivered.)
Centre
The only #1 centre out there is Henrik Sedin, and the Twins are going to eat up a stupid amount of someone's cap space for the next decade. It better not be MTL. Nick Antropov is the 2nd best option (Saku not included). No.
Trade please.
Goalies
If Halak goes in the aforementioned trade, I'd love to see Manny Legace back up TFS(tm) - or Roloson if he would take a crazy pay cut. Mathieu Garon will be out there, too.
So what are you predictions for UFA day?
yes! I've been saying we need more Megan on this site. look at her! fantastic! w00t!!!!
ReplyDeleteoh, and good hockey analysis Panger I guess
There was hockey analysis? I didn't even notice there was text in that post.
ReplyDeleteMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMeganMegan ... I gotta go lie down or something.
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ReplyDeleteMegan Fox is hot. And from Tennessee. I just can't get over the fact that she has toe thumbs though. That's all I think about when I see her now.
ReplyDeleteThumb transforms into a toe
@Beta - I will not have you disparage Megan with visions of toe thumbs!
ReplyDeleteHere's a solid Megan photo where her thumbs are conveniently in her pants and not visible
Goddamn you, Beta169. Goddamn you and the Vols to a lifetime of beatings on the Third Saturday in October!
ReplyDeleteI guess we now know the answer to the question "how mad does an ND fan need to get before he wants Alabama to win" is a) whenever they play Miami for the National Championship and b) when a guy from Tennessee ruins Megan Fox.
Bastard. I hope HF29's Gators beat you too.
WV: butain - As in, I need to get a butain lighter and burn the image of that thumb out of my head.
The thumbless Megan is a wonderful woman.
ReplyDeleteUmm, yeah, maybe my standards have lowered over the years (shrug), but I could get past the toe thumbs for a crack at that.
ReplyDeleteLet me go check with Mrs. LD to see if she'll let me try.
@ 29 and 10
ReplyDeleteLOL. That's a lot of vitriol over something as small (literally) as toe thumbs. Please, no displacment of anger from Bob Gainey to me. We're all in this together.
And the hating on my beloved Vols! They'll be back on top soon enough. Just remember, the best Clausen will always be Casey. For the record, no-one should EVER want Alabama to win. Seriously though, is US college football as popular in Canada as it is here in the states? I never would have guessed.
is US college football as popular in Canada as it is here in the states?
ReplyDeletewell, it's more popular than Canadian college football, but that ain't saying much. 10 and I are fans because we have rooting interests
@ Beta:
ReplyDeleteI think it's pretty well me, 29, and my hardcore Catholic in-laws.
Actually, the border towns in Southern Ontario (Windsor, Sarnia etc) are pretty football-mad. Mostly Michigan or Notre Dame fans. The Michigan fans are idiots, because Michigan sucks. In Toronto we get our own bowl game in the Rogers Centre between something like the 6th place finisher in the Big East and the 3rd place finisher in the MAC, for what it's worth.
@ Beta:
ReplyDeleteMy brother-in-law had nothing but praise for the Vols fans he met at ND. Neyland is a stadium I'd love to see a game in. Much better than 29's ugly swamp.
Interesting guys. I've always imagined that college football in the south, and especially in SEC towns is quite similar to hockey in NHL cities in Canada. The media scrutiny of the Vols in Knoxville (and LSU here in Louisiana) is only *slightly* better than how it's been described in Montreal.
ReplyDelete@10 - 27-2 under Meyer in that beautiful place. What's ND's record in South Bend these days?
ReplyDelete@HF10
ReplyDeleteWe travel very well, full of team spirit and southern hospitality. We behave especially well at ND, because its a "church school". Definitely see a game at Neyland, its crazy fun and the atmosphere is second to fantastic. The Pride of the Southland is also the best band around, bar none.
I like talking about UT, it gets my mind off the fact that the next couple of weeks might not be so great for the Habs.
@ HF29
ReplyDeleteNotre Dame will improve when Meyer leaves UF to coach there.
29, I'm going to murder you. Then Ty Willingham for fucking up ND's recruiting, then Father Malloy for keeping Willingham too long, then Ron Zook for recruiting so well before Urban got there, then Charlie Weis for having the worst offensive line coaches in history.
ReplyDeleteCharlie may get a reprieve if he wins 10 games this year and fucking beats USC FOR FUCK'S SAKES I HATE LOSING TO FUCKING USC. Great, now I'm all pissed off. Gainey better have a miracle ready at midnight.
Speaking of Jason Blake. Rob Scuderi?
ReplyDeleteI'm scared that Gainey's midnight miracle will be keeping his job after another do nothing summer.
ReplyDeleteThis is the least excited I have ever been about the start of free agency. I've learned not to buy into the hype this year and cannot see us landing any big names, which is completely okay with me.
ReplyDeleteHabsFans####,
ReplyDeleteWhat's about 3K3 future? (Kovalev, Koivu, Komisarek)...
Let me know, pls.
So, free agency starts at noon your time, right? So Bob has until 11:59 AM tomorrow to sign his own FA's?
ReplyDeleteWhen you really think about it, at this stage of the game, why the fuck would ANY UFA sign without testing the waters.
Face it - it IS about the money. Maybe Gainey offers DOOM! 4.5 for 5years. Some other team, say the Sharks offer him 5.5 for 4 years. It's better money, but not a lot for these guys. THEN the player has a decision - "Do I feel a bond with my current team? Is it best for me and my family (if there is a family to consider)?" Or does he say "YEEFUCKINHAW! I'm going where the money is! And that's his right."
In any case why WOULDN'T a player wait until tomorrow. I would.
And @NIKAL1: Done deals. Komisarek to Long Island, Koivu to Anaheim and Kovalev signing 3 year contract with the Habs for $10 million (3.33 per season) plus bonuses.
You know, even if we just went about resigning everyone, I'd still be fairly confident in the team's abilities. I mean, this year had basically everything that could go wrong, well, go wrong.
ReplyDeleteTanguay-Koivu-Kovalev
Kostitsyn-Lang-Kostitsyn
Latendresse-Lapierre-Pacioretty
Higgins-Metropolit-Kostopoulis
Even without most of our younger players (or zombies and turtlenecks), we have four forward lines that showed promise at different times throughout the year. I mean, the TKK line played wonderfully in the final stretch. The old man tits line showed promise, if I remember correctly, at least, until Lang went and got his Achilles torn up. Lapierre and Latendresse each had some flashes of brilliance, and will still probably get better, and didn't Pacioretty work really well with Lapierre for a while? I'm not sure sure about the fourth line, really, but Higgins did some great work as a shutdown guy towards the end of the year.
The defense, though, I'm not so sure about. I'm actually of the opinion that we need a better defense corps overall opposed to a big centre. I mean, after Markov and Gorges, everyone in the back end had pretty horrible years.
Has anyone noticed that no team has signed its UFAs so far?
ReplyDeleteStop it with the Bob hate. He knows what he's doing.
move i'd love (as an aficienado of real hockey)...... kovalev to pittsburgh to play with malkin....... why would a.k. want to come back here??
ReplyDelete@bonf: i'd love that move too. get kovy outta here. let him be a motivation issue on another team's dime.
ReplyDeletefor the Eklund believers, from his Twitter feed: (caps in original)
ReplyDeleteSOURCE: POSSIBLE HUGE CANADIENS NEWS AFTER 4. MAY D0 PODCAST AROUND IT.8 minutes ago from TweetDeck
We hired a goalie coach? (E5)
ReplyDeleteI love Eklund. I don't believe a word he says, and I think he's stealing stupid people's money, but I love that site. The rumours are so fantastically out of whack, it's brilliant. (It is a parody site, right? No? Seriously? Cmon. Really?)
There is a website (sorry can't find it right now) that catalogues Eklund's bullshit.
ReplyDeleteApparently his success rate is something like 1%.
I agree that if you can get people to pay for complete bullshit, hats off to you.
Let's start some wild rumours.
ReplyDeleteKomisarek signs for Boston just to ensure he doesn't get beat up again.
@Boob.
ReplyDeletehahahaha. you are not going to believe this, but Eklund is actually saying that
8th item:
*Komisarek. Add the Bruins as a very serious possibility.
Classic comment on HB regarding alleged Canadiens announcement..
ReplyDelete"Gainey will announce that he is comfortable with his current team..."
@HF29
ReplyDeleteExcellent!
I'm starting my own site.
The best review of Transfomers 2 is the io9 review. End of discussion. A bucket of sarcasm and a (brief) discussion of Megan Fox's nipples.
ReplyDeleteFark. Komo's agent has kacked talks and announced they are going UFA tomorrow to test the market.
ReplyDelete@Doogie - that was outstanding
ReplyDelete@Van Read - i keep seeing that on Twitter, but I still am not sure I believe it. but maybe it's denial
@Van read @memyselfandi - well i stand corrected. it's true
ReplyDeletefuck you mike! greedy piece of shit..
ReplyDeleteCall me fickle, but I think I already hate Komi, just a bit.
ReplyDeleteKomi's odds on wearing the "c" are plummeting
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, the odds of Komi getting the hell booed out of him next season are skyrocketing.
ReplyDeleteMike, no matter where you go, Lucic will probably still kick your butt.
Do you think that was Eklund's "huge" 4 p.m. Habs news? Is he now up to 1.5% accuracy?
ReplyDelete"USA Today's Kevin Allen, via Twitter, says that the Canadiens defenceman will toss his name into the UFA hat tomorrow, but that the Canadiens remain in the picture."
ReplyDeleteVia. Fucking. Twitter.
@moeman - then this will kill you. from the same Twitter feed:
ReplyDelete"Canadiens' Higgins just traded to the Rangers, details to follow shortly as I get them."
until RDS says it, it's not true
USA Today's Kevin Allen, via Twitter is now saying that the Habs traded Higgins to the Rangers. WTF?? I didn't see that coming..
ReplyDeleteRDS is saying it's Gomez that's coming back. I think I'd rather have Higgins....
ReplyDeleteHoly fuck! Higgins for Gomez, straight up?
ReplyDeleteIf we don't consider cap hit in there, I believe Gainey just raped Sather.
This stinks of desperation. I loved Higgins, as he was a lifelong Habs fan, so yeah, I'd prefer Higgins too. Unless Gomez was brought in as part of a bigger deal, I'm very unhappy with this move.
ReplyDeleteDoes this mean Sarah Palin will be dropping the puck at the Bell Centre soon? Aye, yi, yi!
ReplyDeleteWV = comystal (yup screengrab'd), as in will comystal now that his buddy Higgs is NYR bound?
I pray Higgins isn't LeClair pt. 2
ReplyDeleteThere's now a Gomez post. you can argue it out up there.
ReplyDeleteManny Legacy is so broken he could barely cover for Peoria. Why do people still want that guy? Anyway, I don't think our goalies are going anywhere.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm a lady who loves Transformers but WTF DID THEY DO TO JETFIRE!!! Jetfire is not Kup! And he looks like Zoidberg. I'm so not getting that toy. (I collect Jetfires/Skyfires. Weee nerdy!)