Welcome to the month of hell, bitches - December preview and Leafs open thread

Anyone look at the Habs schedule for December? If not, look at it now. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. Be afraid. Be very afraid. I knew that the Olympics were going to fuck with the schedule this year but I hadn't really noticed much difference. Well I notice it now. Let's hit the bullets to really emphasize the hell the Habs are about to endure:

• We play 17 games overall. To put that in persepctive, if every month was like that you would finish the season in 4.8 months, not the 6+ months it takes normally;
• 4 games in 6 nights twice;
• 3 games in 4 nights four different times;
• The only time there are two days off in a row is Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Won't someone think of the Jew?
• Annual holiday disaster trip to Florida thrown in;
• Oh, did I mention that the Florida trip was part of the last 7 that are all on the road?
  
• Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Ottawa, New Jersey, and Atlanta are all featured prominently. Theoretically we get breaks with Leafs and Canes. Theoretically.

So far, the Habs season has been all about surviving injuries and keeping our head (barely) above water with some grit. December is going to stretch that shit to the limit.

Ok now that you should be sweating, let's hit another set of bullets to set up the Habs-Leafs affair. Fuck me, I'm lazy today:

• Game is at the Centre of Bell, and there are conflicting reports whether it starts at 7 or 7:30. You can bet a Leafs-Habs Tuesday game is on TSN. Do you think TSN got the memo that the Habs are Canada's team?
• Habs have only won 1 of their last 4. Leafs lost last night, but are playing much better, having won the previous 2. Seriously!
• Habs have won both meetings between the teams this year;
• If you only know eyebleaf from his witticims in our comments, you're missing something special over at his Sports and the City. It's not only Leafs, but everything he writes is worth reading;
• Your hot Habs are Squid and Pleks, duh. Hot Leafs (really, there are some!) are Ponikarovsky and Hagman;
• TFS (who's starting again - maybe Jaro will get a start in the crazy December?) is listed as cold in Faceoff's Tale of the Tape, but that's total bullshit imho;
• Toronto Franchise Saviour Gustavsson is 2-3-2, 4.07, .871 in his last 7. Goaltending issues solved!
  
• Lines at practice yesterday were PatCHEs-Gomez-Moen, Squid-Pleks-Little Tits, White-Laps-Pyatt and CHips-Metro-Dagger. Hey look, we got some people back, though Gomez is technically listed as questionable, but HI/O says he's playing. And in case you didn't know, Dou$harek is back from injury for the Leaves;
• Your post-game adult entertainment is to peruse the making of the Toronto Sun Sunshine Girls 2010 Calendar.

K, let's do this.