Friday, February 26, 2010

Canadian Olympic Hottie of our Hearts and a Canada-Jaro Preview and Open Thread

I really hesitated long and hard about posting this awesome pic of awesome Joannie Rochette. I didn't want to tawdry up her amazing story with sexiness. But then I thought fuck it, that's what we do and that's what we should continue to do, even in the face of tragedy. We all grieve in our own way. So félicitations Joannie, your performance for a bronze medal last night in the face of tragedy was nothing short of heroic and one for the Olympic ages. We couldn't be prouder.

Around the Olympics, GOLD MEDAL BITCHES!!!! Our women's hockey team took care of business, 2-0 over the 'mericans. They've done it all tournament, taking care of business. A couple of goals from 18-year old phenom Marie-Philip Poulin and an outstanding performance between the stripper poles by Shannon Szabados was all they needed. Even some beer and champagne can't dampen this one.

Elsewhere, props to both our curling teams who will play in gold medal games. Cheryl's team really did not have their A game, but managed to do enough to win. They'll play for gold today at 6 PM EST. Kevin Martin and his team, on the other hand, are on a mission from God. They are making everything and looking unstoppable. Of course, because they are Canadian men at these Games, they'll find a way to choke. You know, like the men's aerialists.

OK, on to today's main attraction, the Canada-Slovakia semi-final. It's at 930 PM EST. Got that? 21h30. On paper, a mismatch. In real life, anything but. I think everyone around here can appreciate that Jaro can steal a game. The Slovaks have a formidable first line of Gaborik, Demitra, and Hossa. As much as we hate the big gorilla Chara, he's a force on D. The Slovaks have the best PP in the tournament. Canada will really have to have all four lines working, because Slovakia can't match our depth. Constant pressure and physical play like they had against Russia will be key. So pour yourself a Zlatý Bažant and we'll see you in the comments.

217 comments:

  1. I betcha Chara smells bad.

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  2. A friend of mine had this as her status on the book.

    Our father who art in Vancouver, hockey be thy name. Thy will be done, the gold will be won, on ice, as well as in thy stands. Give us this day, Our hockey sticks, and forgive us our penalties as we forgive those who cross check against us. Lead us not into elimination, but deliver us to victory. In ......the name of the Canadian hockey team, "AMEN

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  3. I do not underestimate the Slovaks at all, remember they went 5-0 last time only to lose a close one in the quarters to the Czechs. However, if (big but realistic 'if') the boys come out like they did on Wednesday no goalie on earth will be able to stop them. They were able to neutralize Russia's big line so as long as Babcock can coach like that again I foresee good things.

    While we're waiting can we discuss the women's "controversial" celebrations last night? I think it's one thing to do it in your opponents' faces, quite another to do it on your home rink when everyone except a couple of nosy media types go home. ooooooh underage drinking. Listen, if you're old enough to win us a gold medal you're old enough to have a drink afterwards.

    In closing,

    GO CANADA GO!

    (also, go koivu go! sorry, no caps for you but it still has love).

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  4. It's bad form to pop bubbly without firing up a gar. They were just keeping with accepted traditions and proper social procedures. You have to remember that under all that hockey gear they are ladies, unlike the slimey media/paparazzi shit disturbers that posted the pictures.

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  5. David in Squamish BCFebruary 26, 2010 9:56 am

    As much as I like Halak as a Hab, I hope he gets fucking yanked in the first, and then they also light up Budaj.

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  6. 2-1 Slovakia with the winning goal scored during a Chris Pronger penalty.

    2-1 Finland with Saku scoring one and setting up the other.

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  7. SHAME on the Canadian women for not being proper ladies like Lindsey Vonn and crying like weak emotional trainwrecks after winning. We want proper females, not women whose victory celebrations, while pale in comparison to any Stanley Cup winning team's, are still oh so unladylike. Beer? Champagne? CIGARS? Shocking.

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  8. Happy Purim all! Best holiday of the year. You can eat AND it's a mitzvah to get drunk. Way to go Team Canada. Vashti would be proud. Esther too, but especially Vashti. Maybe someone should send the Chara a big box of prune hamantaschen as a good luck gift.

    Glad I could up the Jewish content that's been sorely lacking since Squid got hurt.

    Go Canadian pants! And go Chara IN your pants!

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  9. I can understand the outrage regarding the celebrations, because as we all know, hockey players don't drink alcohol.

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  10. @LN11 - have a freylikhen Purim!

    Looking forward to the bon-shpiel early this evening and the mishegas later! (I hope my power stays on, it has taken clever strategems to see the last couple of games due to the semi-blizzard here).

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  11. Hey as it turns out, Purim is on Sunday. At school it's today. My apologies to all those of you who are already drunk.

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  12. Kudos to Team Canada (Female Version) and get a life to anyone who thinks their celebrations should be less exuberant. Drinking champagne and beer on the ice, smoking cigars, taking your picture on the Zamboni? What are these nimrods upset about? Probably the cigars. These are Canadian women - they are supposed to drink beer and smoke stogies. If they met the US team out by their bus and kicked the living tar out of them, that might be something to complain about. But they did not do that (at least to our knowledge).

    You go ladies! And don't tone it down, ramp it up!!!!

    P.S. I vote for Tessa Bonhomme as beer guzzling, stogie smoking, hottie of the day.

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  13. Memo to Mens Team Canada:

    Please see play book of Canadian Womens Team.

    GO CANADA!

    Way to go Girls and fuck the media talking heads if they can't deal with a few cigars and beer. There just a bunch of fucking assholes. As for the IOC handing down any ruling on the celebration; those pocket stuffing pimp, senoir citizen, suit wearing, cigar smoking IOC fucks. They have about as much credibility as some wolves judging other wolves for eating the sheep.

    Joannie is a class act, a true Olympian and a true hero. Hard to imagine the courage and the strength it must have taken to go out and do what up to 3 days before she had always done in front of her mom. It was a fantastic tribute to her (yeah ok i'll admit it i was moved).

    What the fuck happened to the flying Canadians there were almost more of them qualified then there were medals to give out. What the fuck happened? Not one of you guys could reach the podium?

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  14. Just saw the women`s hockey team`s celebration story on CNN. BFD.

    What everybody covering this story fails to mention is that all the fans had left the building when it happened...

    Also, while I`m fairly confident about tonight, there`s one thing bothering me: Halak`s 40+ shots confort zone...

    Go Canada Go!!!

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  15. Go Cheryl!

    WV = ataster, will Canada's MILF (I say that in all due respect) give us ataster of more Gold to come?

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  16. Fuck me - 21:30 hrs - that's 2.30 in the morning here in the UK - Damm I'm going to have to pace myself, especially with the curling on at 18:00. My kids had better prey all goes to plan, as I cold be a tad grumpy in the morning!

    Go Canada Go. Let's Go You Fuckin' Bitches! (borrowed that from 29 last night and I'm sending it to Cheryl)

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  17. RT @fortybillion Hey IOC: go fuck your hat. We'll drink beer in our hockey stadiums whenever and however we want.

    It's the 'go fuck your hat' part that makes me giggle.

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  18. Forgive me, Jaro, but:

    GO YOU FUCKING CANADIANS GO! And GO YOU FUCKING FINNS (CANADIANS OF SCANDANAVIA) GO TOO!

    Fuck the US. I hope Jaro shuts them out in the bronze medal game. Plus it would be nice to see Bettman and NBC cry themselves to sleep after the US ratings come out for a Canada-Finland final.

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  19. GO SAKUUUUUUUUU!!!!! Crap the US scored....*wail*

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  20. U.S.A., welcome to the Final. Ugh.

    When did they become such a powerhouse?

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  21. RiRi,

    They're not. The Finnish team is older, they don't have the jump.

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  22. Kipper having a nightmare in goals. 4 goals on 8 shots. Flopping like a dying trout.

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  23. Backstrom is reliving the nightmare.

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  24. Just tuned in here. What the hell? I kinda wanted revenge in the final on those slimey Americans, but I didn't think it would be this easy. After the game against Russia I have to wonder if this is turning into women's hockey.

    The absolute worst part about this is that Wilson and Burke think they're awesome right now. They've played 2 games against proper foes, Miller stole the Canada game and I have no idea what happened here. Maybe they are good. If there is a god the Amerians will become complacent and the Finns will storm back. A boy can dream, can't he?

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  25. I should clarify: I do think the US is a good team, but not as good as many others in this tourney. I guess I was wrong.

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  26. @ moeman:

    Not what I was expecting.

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  27. Would it be wrong and delusional to hope for a comeback?

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  28. The IOC approved a luge run that killed an athlete, then tried to blame the death on said athlete, and they have the temerity to bitch about an 18-year old drinking at a private party after winning a gold medal in her home country? That's ballsy of them.

    GO CANADA! Jaro stops everything that comes at him before Pronger runs him, Jaro breaks his face, gets ejected from the game, and Budaj lets in 28 goals thereafter. Sounds reasonable, no?

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  29. @Ronan, does pronger score any of the 28 goals?

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  30. Pronger probably still finishes minus 2 in that scenario.

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  31. Glad to see the women's speed skaters are keeping up the tradition of chockage. Ranked 1st in the world, world and Olympic record holders. Lose in first round to the 7th ranked Americans. It seems like for every success we have there's 3 complete disasters. Are other countries like this?

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  32. It doesn't matter now, but it's strange that Canada is 1st and faces 7th team while Russia (3rd) faced the 8th team, and if Canada won their pairing (which, of course didn't happen) they would have faced the winners of Germany (3rd) vs Netherlands (4th). Like I said, it's all moot because our women suck (I mean that in the most positive way possible), but it's strange.

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  33. is there a more iconic voice-sport match than Vic Rauter and curling? i dont know what it is, but i hear him and literally think curling

    CMON CHERYL!!!!

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  34. Just saw the US-Fin hilites. Man Kipper was bad.

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  35. 29 knows. Vic is slick, unlike the majority of today's media screamers. I'd suggest that Danny Gallivan is the last great iconic voice of sport-voice, albeit biased to our Habs. Keith Jackson and college football, Howard Cosell and boxing and the Expos' Van Horne also come to mind.

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  36. nice list moe. i might add Marv Albert and the NBA, before that whole women's lingerie and biting thing

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  37. Along with Jack Buck and the Cardinals and Harry Carey and the Cubs

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  38. CDN curling gals are laying down the shots. anticipating Cheryl like a schoolkid meeting his hot teacher.

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  39. Chris Schenkel... bowling lol

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  40. Dick Enberg ...tennis and Al Michaels NFL. I think I watch too much TV

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  41. 2-1 SWE. Lots of 'ends' left. Come on Cheryl and CDN gals.

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  42. For Winnipeggers... Curt Kielback was/is awesome

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  43. Can I air a pet peeve?

    The IOC really hasn't said a lot about the Canadian women's celebration. Some official made a perfunctory comment about looking into it and it went no further.

    But all across Canada today you cannot read a blog or newspaper that isn't full of outrage at those priggish olympicrats - and hey we're Canadians dammit that's how we celebrate - Yeah stick it to the man - Up yours IOC!

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  44. After missing a shot Cheryl Barnard apologized to her teammates.

    She looked and sounded like she was apologizing after having had such vigorous sex with you that she broke your bed.

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  45. I'd tell Cheryl, let's break the bed again! Hard ... Harder!

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  46. 2-2 beauty shot by the beautiful Cheryl.

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  47. Interviewing her husband now.

    Ask him "what's it like being married to a sultry tigress?"

    Do it.

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  48. Some seriously sickening sucking news fellow and feline FHFers, nicklesuck is to suck up the closing ceremonies. Apologies to the planet.

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  49. 'draw-tap with the out-turn' that's my secret move!!!!!

    ~~~ Is it me or is curling sometimes more exciting than a Habs game?

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  50. Is 29 out to dinner? If so, good. If not, um, leave now ovenmittboy.

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  51. Maybe the Canadian women weren't drinking an officially approved Olympic sponsor brand beer. ;)

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  52. 4-3, Cheryl bails out her galmates Halakian-style.

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  53. "get to the nose, a little rub on the red is ok".

    Discuss.

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  54. 5-4 Canadian gals.

    Cheryl Bernard, je t'aimes.

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  55. I've found myself in the position of explaining curling to my sister and brother-in-law all game. How did I get myself here?

    In other news, shout out to our speed skating dudes who have earned a place in the final tomorrow (ahhh, guaranteed medals, the only kind we can't seem to lose) and to our bobsledders who find themselves in 2nd after the first day. Woot!

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  56. After the curling babes, time for the boys to shine.

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  57. sorry everyone, not out to dinner. just trying to get a little nap time before the game. midnight is way past my bedtime

    CMON CHERYL!!!! up two without the hammer into the 10th is not bad. not awesome, but not bad.

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  58. Entire extended family watching curling as dad11 explains the game. I'm enjoying it more than any habs game this season. In other news Dr11 is looking to find out if Cheryl needs a gyno.

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  59. I forgot it was Purim...and my hebrew name is Esther too. This is what happens when you move out and don't have mom's hamentashens to remind you.

    OK, I've left my Habs Fan self at the door. Sorry Jaro, but you're going down.

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  60. i never thought my heart could beat fast during a curling timeout, but here we are

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  61. @Esther31
    Solly's are amazing. You can still get drunk.

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  62. Extra, extra, curl all about it.

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  63. heart breaking.

    CMON CHERYL. YOUVE GOT ANOTHER CHANCE

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  64. again, a curling timeout hurts my chest

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  65. Shoulda had that, congrats SWE. Merci Cheryl.

    Go Canada!

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  66. GO YOU FUCKING CANADIAN PANTS

    why are we back to Gord? Cuthbert was much better

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  67. Go Canada!
    No choking Bobby Lu!

    McSTFU, please STFU. Also Gord Miller can STFU too.

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  68. "Thornton has to elevate his game"

    You think?

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  69. Sealegs much?

    Morrow, a little LOWER.

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  70. Too nervous to take a proper shot eh. Every thing has been wiffed, or when they crank it, it's wide.

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  71. Jaro's "goaltending story" has been more a case of how lucky one man can be.

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  72. If they're nervous today, they'll be a wreck on Sunday.

    The US are completely loose.

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  73. If we lose, the good news is we can trade Jaro while his market value is sky-high.

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  74. Has tsn heard our cries of McSTFU!?

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  75. Some NHL Gman named Pinky Renna was signed for 2x$3.8M.

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  76. FUCK YEAH!!! About time dammit!

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  77. McSplooge said it was okay and he knows ABSOLUTELY everything so...

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  78. McGuire: "That's below the crossbar - and I don't know how they can tell from that angle"

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  79. HONK!

    We could solve this problem by forcing players to be 4feet tall.

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  80. there have been more commercials in this first period than the whole tournament so far

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  81. OK guys, let's take it easy on Jaro now.

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  82. Just caught up on the comments and found out Cheryl and Co. didn`t get gold. :(

    Congrats nonetheless!!!

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  83. Huh? Dany Heatley hitting people? The Olympics can change people...

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  84. Elimination and medal games have an extra 3 minutes of commercial time. Gold medal = $365000 per 30 seconds. ctv needs to buffer the huge losses. Be easier if they just dumped McSTFU! (who, if I am not mistaken will be at NBC for the Gold medal game)

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  85. How to beat Halak: Let him play the puck.

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  86. Wow, ctv is showing a KD commercial at 10pm.

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  87. Go Canadian curling guys, beat the pants of those pants!

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  88. hey anyone know if Sidney Crosby is on this team?

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  89. 500m short track final on RDS.

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  90. ok what's the maximum choke potential in this 500m? 2 DQ's?

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  91. That Apolo Ohno pisses me off.

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  92. Hamelin!!

    Bonus: Ohno might get disqualified!!

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  93. what did i say about 2 DQ's earlier?

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  94. Confirmation: Ohno DQ.

    Two medals!!!

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  95. Rick Nash can be aggravating sometimes... All that amazing skill and he lets off a backhand with the power of a baby kitten.

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  96. Suck on it Ohno! Finally, you don't just get handed a gold for showing up, they actually decided to do their jobs tonight. Gold! Bronze!

    Now bring home the relay!

    Oh, and go Team Canada!

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  97. "In a race with Pronger" does not compute.

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  98. i think Sid is literally floating

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  99. If you're going to call the phantom hook, you better be calling that trip. Oh who am I kidding....

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  100. Fuck the trap. Move it, Slovakia.

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  101. Geez I change the channel for 2 seconds to see if there`s anymore skating events and I miss the goal... :(

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  102. OK Getzlaf, that was pretty awesome.

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  103. Oh no, Ohno is bitching about his disqualification~

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  104. (W)interlude , tribute to Cheryl and her gal pals.

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  105. Laraque is speed skating on RDS

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  106. Fucking Ohno. This is the first time I have ever heard of him, but just be looking at his face I was able to tell that he is a giant douche bag. He said on NBC that he believes that the home ice advantage was definetly a factor in the decision for his DSQ. And he says this minutes after he says that Vancouver feels like a second home to him.

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  107. ...where was that energy in a game, Laraque?

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  108. that's the best BGL ever skated

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  109. Ohno was on Dancing With The Stars. He was a douche then and still is. I think he actually won it that season. Figures.

    He thinks he can just push someone off the track to pass them?

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  110. Must be old footage when he was eating meat. How's his career in Sweden doing? Habs still paying him? Still taking up a spot on the fucking roster?

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  111. 5000m roller derby on ice about to start ...

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  112. What the fuck, 5 teams on the ice for the relays?! No one die please.

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  113. Or should I say another chance for Ohno to bitch and moan when he doesn`t win gold?

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  114. Anyone know our chances in this?

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  115. Chinese speedskaters are robots.

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  116. Gold bitches!!

    Suck on that, Ohno!!

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  117. GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!

    I fucking love short track.

    REDEMPTION BITCHES!

    Also,

    EAT IT OHNO!!!

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  118. I swear there are D's on the end of that.

    Holy motherfucking shit, that was an intense race. I love short track.

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  119. 10 Golds, so far, more to come.

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  120. In reality, this was the night for Canada in short track. We excel at the sprints and the relays. Coulda woulda shoulda in the 1000m the other night, but really this was the realistic outcome. Actually, a battle for silver was the realistic outcome, gold is like finding out the chick you picked up last night is rich and generous.

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  121. We now have 21 medals with two more guaranteed tomorrow (curling, speed skating). If Canada holds off and wins this game then we're guaranteed to tie our best ever at the winter games (with way more golds), with snowboarding and bobsled to go as well.

    Winning in golds!

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  122. Well that was weak, Bobby Lu...

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  123. Where did everyone go?

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  124. Crosby has lost all ability to pick corners.

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  125. WTF?!?

    "This is Adonis on skates" - McSplooge

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  126. FUCK stop running into yourselves you idiots. Looks like the Habs on D.

    And the crowd can shove their "WE WANT USA" chant too.

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  127. @riri: I heard "A godess on skates"

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  128. We were cruising until Luongo let in that softy.

    He is not good in pressure situations.

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  129. @gillis - oops! who was he referring to again?

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  130. This is a fucking nightmare.

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  131. Bergeron has turned into Plekanec.

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  132. Send Bergeron back to beantown.

    wv (I swear): phallism

    That one's for you Pierre.

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  133. Thank you goalpost GOD.

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  134. Wow! I take it back, Luongo.

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  135. Or was it a save? Oh, who the fuck cares at this point.

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  136. Slovaks were something.

    Hope they medal.

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  137. I am emotionally exhausted and this Queen Esther costume is killing me.

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  138. Great day for sport. Speed skating, curling, short track, hockey. Never a dull moment. I love the Olympics. It's like a coke fuelled weekend in Vegas.

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