Well, as 29 pointed out below, some really bad things happened in Game 1. Markov out. Possibly for the playoffs. Eric Staal got his tendon sliced, which is also bad (no one wants to see that). Pens scored four powerplay goals (Washington fans just kvetched.) Jaro was less than Jaro-esque. Did we mention Markov got hurt? Hoo boy.Stuff you need to know: Today, NBC and the NHL get the Habs up early to play the matinee at the Igloo. 2:00 on the NBC and CBC and RDS. Those without RDS might be able to escape Bob Cole and Glen Healy's Leaf kissing Habs hating asses over on the peacock network. Jaro expected to get the start. Only a catastrophe on the way to the rink keeps Marc-Andre Fleury out of the Pens net.
Cold like an actual igloo, not to be confused with the Igloo: Well, a whole bunch of Habs struggled through game 1. Urologist struggles with defence at the best of times. The penalty kill struggled mightily. Jaro struggled a little compared to his first series. Big Tits appears to be struggling with basic human functions, let alone skating, shooting and checking. For the Pens, Fleury was a little off. Matt Cooke struggles with being an enormous ass (I know it was a clean hit. I know. Still pissed.)
Hot like, oh, a 4 goal powerplay night: Sidney Crosby now has 16 points in these playoffs. Cammy scored again. Before Staal got hurt he scored and was a big, bruising presence in all three zones. And the Pens are way more physical than the Caps. There were a whole bunch of Canadiens getting rattled into the boards in Game 1.
The awesome starts here: Despite the lopsided nature of Game 1, despite the loss of Markov, the continued absence of Jaro 2.0, the disappearance of Big Tits, the horrible penalty killing, Jaro being a little less automatic in net, I am brimming with optimism for this series for one reason:
Pernell Karl "PK" Fucking Subban. PFK. The Subbanator.
Wanna talk PK? He scored the first goal. Played over 19 minutes. Finished even for the night, and that was with an empty net goal and being stuck with Marc-Andre Bergeron as a partner multiple times. Made a half-dozen "hey, did you see that?" plays. Took off on the rush with no fear of the effin' consequences, baby. Did crazy stuff like dish it behind his back or give the old "how's she going" deke to guys in open ice. Even got the love from Donald S. Cherry.
In other words, PK Fucking Subban was/is the man. Which leads me to believe that this year won't be Dryden '71 or Roy '86 or Roy '93 redux. This is the year that a new Habs chapter is written by Pernell Karl Fucking Subban, with equal doses of ice water in his veins and funk in his stride. PK Fucking Subban, people. The Doug Harvey/Larry Robinson 21st century hybrid straight from Hammertown via Awesomeville. Believe.
Believe in a two-time World Junior Champ. A stone-cold OHL killer. A Hamilton Bulldog rookie who dashed and danced to a plus 46. Believe that he can do it here and now, because he might be the only chance the Habs have got. Desperate times call for desperate measures? PK Fucking Subban cares not for your desperation. PK cares about your adulation. And by the end of this day, he'll have it. Believe.
Pernell. Karl. Fucking. Subban. If only we had more of him. Like a whole fucking team of them. Just like the Beatles used to sing about, when they were all hopped up on goofballs and seeing walruses.
A Team of Pernell Karls
From the time that he was born
In the land of GTA
When Pernell Karl put on his skates
You could tell that he could play
He became a Belleville Bull
And dominated all his peers
Was a Hamilton Bulldog
Played mature beyond his years
We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
And so now, Markov is out
Doom and gloom, the experts shout
But PK will save the day ...
[Trumpets]
We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
PK skates with so much ease
Faster than the summer breeze
He will lead us, he's the man
Pernell Karl Fucking Subban
We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
Do you believe? Tell us about it in the PK Fucking Comments
Jordan Staal, Not Eric...
ReplyDeleteFuck you Cooke.
GO BLACK JESUS GO!
Fucking wow.
ReplyDeleteFucking awesome post 10.
Fucking incredible pic GG (I say your best yet).
Fuck cbc/hnic.
Fuck gary bettman.
Fuck the Pens.
Pernell. Karl. Fucking. Subban.
Go you fucking Habs!
WV = fucking, as in, fucking
@ LJ:
ReplyDeleteMeh, all those fucking Staals look alike. And none of them are playing today.
I watched on Versus, pretty decent coverage, no Habs hatin' going on, they were empathetic about how tired they must be.
ReplyDeleteHad my first body scan at the Vegas airport yesterday, no shoes, no belts, nothing in your pockets, no jacket, hands above your head. Panties optional, like it would matter.
GO PK!!!!! GO YOU FUCKING HABS!
GO PANTIES!!!!
Moey, did the full body scan pick up the Habs tattoo on the butt CHeek?
ReplyDeletePraise be PK!
ReplyDeletePeople laughed when I called him a little Bobby Orr.
Oh, Tim Peel and Matt Cooke on the ice together. The NHL hasn't learned it's lesson eh?
moeman,
ReplyDeleteAre you moonlighting at the Vegas airport? That was my little secret. Sheesh.
PK Fucking Fantastic preview and pic, 10 and GG!
ReplyDeletePants are off, let's do this thing!
What, still an hour to puck drop? OK, I'll, uh, go find some more pants to remove or something
Sunday Game Girl
ReplyDelete♫ Sweetest lip curl since Elvis. ♫
+ Bonus song, Dreamin', circa 1979
Et une version Française with some great lyrics.
♫ Oh dépêches-toi! ♫
I know a FHF girl at the Mandalay Bay
Sweet as ice cream but so far away
Scan those Panties! Sunday girl
Hey, I say Gu:( is a fucking CHurl
Fun to see he's in another world
Now run and gun CHicken girl
Hurry up, hurry up PFK
Pernell. Karl. Fucking. Subban.
Nothing else left to say
What your playing means to WE!
Come on play hard and shut up that fucking crowd
My weekend mood's good and I'm feeling proud
Habs altar is my Sunday CHurCH
GG, your PFK pic is fucking out of sight
HF10's post/parody are fucking Dynomite!
WatCHing Habs on cbc gets me uptight
Big ass Sid is NBC's Sunday Game Girl
Esther, you've got an excellent Sunday top 10
leaf fan Wayne kinda makes me hurl
Playoffs beat golf any Sunday girl
Jaro, I hope to see you in the summertime
Against OV your glove was as sweet as wine
Do it again, don't let this Sunday swirl
Hurry up, Vodkov hurry up and get well
I'll stay awake all week until you play at Centre Bell
I got the blues, cole vs. McSplooge isn't fun you see
What does cherry's PFK loving mean to me?
Hurry up
Hurry up and play
I got the Sunday Game blues
Hurry up
Hurry and win
Clap
Clap, clap
Clap
Clap, clap
Golf Clap <-- for leaf fan
G♥ you fucking Habs G♥ !
Jaro starts.
ReplyDeleteThat picture just became my desktop background. Thanks, GG!
ReplyDeleteAwesome! Now, start kicking some ass and taking names!
Go You Fucking Habs Go!!!
Go PFK Go!!!
Go you PK Fucking Habs Go!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWhy do you call Bergeron the Urologist? This has been always on my mind. Dan Hill style.
ReplyDeleteGo PK
!!!!
Sans Markov, MORE WODKA!
ReplyDeletePK needs an associated drink... What would it be? Something smooth I would think.
@ edible, Bergeron is a PeePee specialist. That and he smells like piss on defense.
ReplyDelete@ Esther, Black Velvet Whiskey?
ReplyDeleteWV = trawl, as in I hope we don't hear from the anon trawl today
Ok...let's go Boys
ReplyDeleteGo You Fuckin' Pants Habs Go!
im getting antsy
ReplyDeletegreat work on the Sunday Blondie moe. mmm, debbie
CBC. NBC, or RDS? it's just a nightmare of bad options
@moe - so if he needed an associated cake, it would be red velvet. Mmmm, red velvet... Not sure why he needs to be associated to a cake though.
ReplyDeletewv: agati good feeling about this one!
Velvety whisky and velvety cake. Sounds good to me.
ReplyDeleteGO YOU FUCKING HABS GO!
CHicken needs to wake up and smell the scoring.
ReplyDeleteok, its 3am and im here. dont expect proper grammar.
ReplyDeleteoh god. just start the fucking game.
ReplyDelete@29
ReplyDeleteI seriously never thought I'd say it (cause it's fucked) but I'm sticking with NBC. Because when Pierre McSplooged all over the first series...we won.
Shit, seeing McSplooge & Milbury on screen at the same time...I think my IQ just dropped 13%.
RDS is merely mickey mouse.
ReplyDeleteCBC is a disgrace and NBC are screwing up our scheduling plus you'd be paying Mike Milbury's salary.
Millbury and McSplooge...verbal diarrhea and verbal...well this is a family blog! No it ain't! GO YOU FUCKING HABS GO! GO PFK!
ReplyDeleteSo Metro's out apparently...
ReplyDeletebob cole's annoying already. may have to go with NBC
ReplyDeletemetro out? really?
FINALLY a puck drop
NBC: "Not too much gas left in the tank for the Canadiens". Who's fault is that?
ReplyDeletesounds like a funeral in there
ReplyDeleteThis white out is so frickin' dumb.
ReplyDeleteLook how good of fans we are; we wear white shirts that are provided for us!
If you're not in Winnipeg, don't bother.
I can't believe the lack of noice/excitement/atmosphere.
IT'S THE PLAYOFFS!
That's right: noise is now spelt with a 'c'. ^^
ReplyDeletenot a good start. FUCK
ReplyDeleteThat puke.
ReplyDeleteVomit blog.
ReplyDeleteMAB got a nice look at that goal.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't look good.
ReplyDeleteI hate MAB.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
That's it. I've seen enough of Ben Maxwell.
ReplyDeleteThat's it. I've heard enough of bob cole.
ReplyDeleteWHY IS IT SO FUCKING QUIET IN THERE?!
ReplyDeleteGod i wake up, turn on the TV and the pens score a goal RIGHT when it's turned on... And i hate afternoon games... It seems like both teams are playing like it's practice... Seriously WTF NBC?!
ReplyDeleteGio!!!
ReplyDeleteGio!
ReplyDeleteWV = leadwee, another goal and leadwee
Gio!
ReplyDeletea spark maybe
Gio and Gomez: wundertwins (even if they're not related).
ReplyDeleteLaughing at RDS's "goaless/pointless" pinups. AK46, Pouliot, and.. Pyatt?! A sniper, a power forward, and the rookie Martin made into a shutdown specialist who spent most of the last series on the penalty kill. That's like whining the shutdown defenceman has no goals.
ReplyDeleteWhy is pj stuck not coaching in the NHL? I keed.
ReplyDelete@moeman
ReplyDeleteOh god. I pity the team who would ever consider asking him to coach them....
2-1 Bulldogs
Gionta interview: "Other Ds have to step up. PK's playing extremely well for a young guy, Bergy's playing well."
ReplyDeleteOh, stop it!
2 minutes into the second and a third of the seats are still empty.
ReplyDeleteWonder what it's like to take a defending Stanley Cup champion for granted.
please cash one
ReplyDeleteSQUID !!!
ReplyDelete...and SQUID!
ReplyDeleteWith a side of PFK!
ReplyDeleteWow. Subban shot, rebound off Cammy's chest to the tip of his blade, bats in a goal. Wow!
ReplyDeletethat's a lotta time in our zone. but we're winning, right? that's something i guess
ReplyDeleteheh, was watCHin' RDS, decides to flip CHannels for fun only to hear cole denigratingly say "Montreal only leads by one goal". SwitCHed.
ReplyDeleteMartin System: get a lead, DEFEND and PERIMETER the rest.
ReplyDeleteWTF was that, CHicken?
ReplyDeleteWhenever I hear the name Leopold I think of Bugs Bunny.
ReplyDeletewhew
ReplyDelete20 minutes left. they're gonna be a long 20 minutes
Shots in the second were 18-3. I find it hilarious we actually have a lead.
ReplyDeleteWell i'm off to work now, gonna miss the 3rd period. I'll be reading the comments on my cellphone, keep me updated people!
ReplyDeleteMartin, Muller and Pearn are really doing the best with what they've got.
ReplyDeleteThree forward lines and three legitimate NHL defenders (plus PK who is playing well), against the champs.
But the reality is we aren't going to beat the Pens.
We are playing the rope a dope so well that's why the shots are skewed. How many of them are dangerous? 10% at the most. Not saying I like this breed of coaching....but with the best goalie in the world and a lead it has worked.
ReplyDelete1) We're winning
2) It worked against the Caps.
WE NEED TWO DAYS OFF!
Believe in Jaro. Believe in our lads. That's my rally calls or call to arms right there.
Most of the shots are perimeter shots. Not that difficult to stop so long as the guys keep the Pens clear of the center (which they'd done a pretty good job of so far). Shot quality is better than quantity if you can push them to the outside.
ReplyDeleteRyan White scored a goal in the first. Took a shot to the face. Stayed out for the 2nd. Got stitched up. Is back for the 3rd. Our Ian Laperriere?
3-1 Bulldogs
Go Dogs!
ReplyDeletePFK on the PK! Who would've thought?
ReplyDeletewow. two epic killls
ReplyDeletei hate MAB as much as the next person, but that wasnt much of a penalty
ReplyDeleteo cmon! tackling
ReplyDeletewow. three epic killls
ReplyDelete5 minutes of icing left
ReplyDeleteUgh, I hope Gorges is okay. At this rate, we're going to have to play Lil' Tits on D. Oh, who am I kidding? JM is never going to let him out of the pressbox. God forbid.
ReplyDeleteSQUID!!!!
ReplyDeleteS Q U I D !!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteFuck you cbc/hnic, you fucking fuckers!
ReplyDeleteSo, who won't be able to do anything without Iginla?
ReplyDelete♥
Squid, playoff leading scorer!
ReplyDeleteI can breath again.
ReplyDeleteNASTY hit from behind
ReplyDeletetom pyatt on D?
Pens, taking out one player per game. Dirty fuckers.
ReplyDeleteFucking BB was saying it was Cammy who was laying on the ice and kept repeating it...
ReplyDeleteDangerous intentional hit from behind right after the game is put out of hand? In a normal world that would be a suspension. I look forward to Campbell's excuses. Or silence. I'll bet on silence.
ReplyDeleteHe's alive!
ReplyDeleteoh yeah
ReplyDeletethat's a nice "fuck you" to the schedule makers boys
ReplyDeleteNice playoff win.
ReplyDeleteBest of 5.
2 games at the Bell Centre.
Team will be CHeered beyond belief.
Love hearing a demoralized cbc/hnic, not that they have morals.
Go you fucking Habs!
Retire bob cole already.
Bob Cole sounds like my mother after I got my first piercing. Disappointment and disgust wrapped in passive aggressive backhanded compliments.
ReplyDeleteHa Bettman, your lackeys tried to call non-existent penalties but it didn't work.
ReplyDeleteAfter an iffy start, better effort in the end. Keep the Pens away from the center and away from the front of the net and the results are better.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, YAY! I didn't wake up in the middle of the night for nothing. Now maybe I can fit in an hour nap before heading to work.
ReplyDeleteole, ole ole ole....
ReplyDeleteway to go fuckin' habs.
wooooooooo!!!!!
29 meant .
ReplyDeleteThe Rope-a-Dope boys...
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly what I'm calling them....Pure Ali tactics.
Halak is God. That is all.
And I'm not big on the "PFK" if it matters...
ReplyDeleteYou don't need to say fucking its too dirty for his beautiful game....and I'm usually all for cursing. You didn't see Bobby Cocksucking Orr.
And It's Lag Ba'omer!!! Let's celebrate!!!!
ReplyDeleteNice fuckin' effort boys! Fuck you Bettman. And OMG coudl they be any less enthusiastic on HIC over this win? They spent more tiume talking about the Junior playoff then they did about the game.
ReplyDeleteNo one on the panel called for a suspension for the hit on MAB - funny that? I'll bet if MAb had hit Sidney Bettman like that, they'd still be on the air complaining. I was switching between the RDS feed and the ESPN feed of HNIC. Gotta hand it to Nad et Pic - their feed is way better.
And I am loving PFK - playing like a seasoned vet. Very nice!
Man o man I can't wait until Tuesday - that's gonna be some game.
wv: sunlye - as in: sunlye we have a series on our hands boys!
So the CBC can't figure out how the Habs won, finally settling on 'magic'.
ReplyDeleteTied 1-1 after one, Montreal conjured up a little magic in the second period — there's no other way to explain how the Habs could have been outshot 18-3 and somehow come out with the only goal of the frame and a 2-1 lead.
Good analysis, but you forgot to mention how ET helped out in the 3rd. Morons.
Let enough late hits go, play up the "Finish your check" mantra, and sooner or later you get a hit from behind. Harvard man did it, too. Figures. The only reason to finish your check after the puck is gone is to hurt someone. Used to be fun, then I grew up. When is the NHL going to catch up with Hockey Canada? Automatic next game, that's what it should be for a hit from behind like that. Hopefully MAB's helmet worked. I am just waiting for one the Pens to finish his check into a cocked elbow. The hit on Markov was cheap, even if not penalized. The hit on MAB was beyond cheap. Are the Pens that weak a time they have to play like that? It is really said that Bettman's crown jewels - Caps and Pens- play like goons. But then Bettman is a take a gun to the locker room basketball man.
ReplyDeleteLet enough late hits go, play up the "Finish your check" mantra, and sooner or later you get a hit from behind. Harvard man did it, too. Figures. The only reason to finish your check after the puck is gone is to hurt someone. Used to be fun, then I grew up. When is the NHL going to catch up with Hockey Canada? Automatic next game, that's what it should be for a hit from behind like that. Hopefully MAB's helmet worked. I am just waiting for one the Pens to finish his check into a cocked elbow. The hit on Markov was cheap, even if not penalized. The hit on MAB was beyond cheap. Are the Pens that weak a time they have to play like that? It is really said that Bettman's crown jewels - Caps and Pens- play like goons. But then Bettman is a take a gun to the locker room basketball man.
ReplyDeleteRe: 'the hit'- I think all you have to do is look at the timing of it. 2 mins to go, the Habs just scored an insurance goal. It's not even like MAB turned suddenly or it was one of those split second decisions. His back was to the Pens guy (forget his name, too lazy right now) the whole time and there was absolutely no reason to go in for a check. It was premeditated and probably out of frustration.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, he will get 0 games and I don't even think we'll hear about it again. According to TSN, MAB wasn't injured so it's not a big deal. Man, a hit like that and another cm to the right/left and he could be in a wheelchair the rest of his life. Pretty disgusting.
"I'm not going to focus on myself right now," Subban said. "This is the playoffs and it's about the team. If they ask me to fill the water bottles, I'll fill the water bottles."
ReplyDeleteRe Subban quote:
ReplyDeleteswoon
You guys still think you'd rather build a team around that nut-punching, goalie-whacking, stick-breaking and throwing, whiny little pussy bitch?
ReplyDeleteI'd rather go into a corner against Ovechkin, knowing that he may play on the edge, and he may try to hurt me, than against some little twerp who just may break his stick over my head for no reason other than things aren't going his way.
How about a fucking bio for all the players so I can figure out. The urolgist, bergeorn who smells like pee on defence
ReplyDeletePK fever, when was the last time a rookie like this came along in any playoff?