Saturday, December 11, 2010

Thank Ya, Thank Ya Very muCH, Fat Elvis has left the building Preview

Are You Lonesome Tonight? If so, grab the significant other, or nearest ovenmitt, some peanut butter and banana sammiCHes, a few pops and plop your self down on the couCH for some exciting 3D action. Little Sister, cut that out and just watCH the game.

Direct from Toronto's Heartbreak Hotel, the ACC aka CBC HQ, our Montréal Canadiens play the All Shooked Up Leafs. Will cherry be wearing a Blue Swede Suit? meh, all I need from Crotch's Corner is A Little Less CONversation.

It's Now or Never ~ Actually the game starts at 7pm, RDS, CBC, BELL TV, Rogers Digital Cable, Shaw Direct, Telus Optik TV and WhaTF!? Videotron? How long before you get some beer glasses Péladeau? BetCHa you're glad the Habs aren't wearing their Jailhouse Rock jerseys.

That's All Right says PleXXXe about last night's loss in Detroit Crock City. Habs are 18-9-2 (6-3-1), leaf 10-14-4 (3-6-1). Viva Las Vegas, bet da mortgage cuz Daddy needs him one of those large screen 3D TVs, oh wait …

Love Me Tender ~ Auld, leaf goalie (TBD).

Suspicious Minds ~ The Goat vs. The Bark. Martin vs. Wilson. Kirk vs. Keith. Habs win.

Don't Be Cruel ~ ACC fans, donate those wawfuls to a food bank, Colby says he prefers you toss filet mignon instead of your cookies.

(You're So $quare) Baby I Don't Care ~ Dou$harek hurt his finger.

Too many waffling leaf blogs to link just one so I'll point you to the most syrupy site where the buttery fanboy beat twit/writer james mirtle pancakes and pours it on, thick.

Return to Sender ~ ya think da Bs will take back Kessposito? da Rangers, Mex?

Can't Help Falling in Love with the Chicken, Eller, Moen.

Hunka, Hunka Burning Love ~ Grabovski, that little bitch is kinda hot. Habs are as good as some free Tutti Frutti meth-laced ice cream. Lots of goodness all mixed up.

Now GYFHG! win this one for the Colonel and There'll Be Peace in the Valley otherwise I'll be Crying in the CHapel if the Habs lose this one.

Baby, Let's Play House! ~ If you enjoyed this post wait until tomorrow when the FHFabulous LG77 is in the building!

Now where's my stash of kerCHiefs?
~ ~ ~
In the ghetT.O.

As the December snow flies
On a cold, blue&white T.O. night
A poor little leaf fan is born
Leaf Nation grows to morn
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

The Tragically Hip did sing
about the Bill Barilko thing
Fifty mehsion Cap
the leaf are still crap
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Pre 68 Keon was great
He had hair and flair
in black and white
Stanley Cup Parade
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

In 93 Wayne Gretzky
slashed Doug Gilmour he
While Kerry did not see
Buffed his lid with glee
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Ken Dryden as President
Got free MLSE rent
But he couldn't bring
Bob Gainey as G.M.
to the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

JFJr he got all the blame
Unlike his Dad he had no fame
Along came belligerent Burke
Yeah it rhymes with pugnacious jerk
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

A Tiger Glassed singer
Raises his middle finger
In a fucking pathetic song
Where the lyrics are wrong
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Should've bought HNICs theme
Your not my Canada's team
In the ratings the Habs are first
Tonight leaf'll be 3 Dimensionally worse
in the ghetT.O.

and the leaf fan cried

Champagne and sushi for two
Add a waffle to your Dion boo
Hey Mike Dou$harek
Fuck You
in the ghetT.O.

and don cherry cried

94 comments:

  1. Great job, moe!

    Going out for dinner so I can't watch. Bummer. Looks like it'll be a goodie!

    GYFHG!!

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  2. That's some truculent camel-toe.

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  3. Superb moe except that pic of Burkie almost made me toss my cookies.

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  4. Desharnais in. Cue 'On se laisse parler d'amour!"

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  5. Will Desharnais look bigger in 3D or just huggable? I vote huggable.

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  6. Auld Lang Syne in nets. We get to give him 3D noogies!

    A Maple Leafs Christmas Carol

    Here we come a-waffling
    Among the Leafs so blue,
    Here we come a-waffling
    So far it can't be true...

    See the puck come to you,
    And to you your waffles too,
    And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
    No top draft picks for your New Year...


    Our waffle cup is made
    Hoping Kadri will become
    The one to ease the Kessel trade
    Before shipping him to Boston

    See the puck come to you,
    And to you your waffles too,
    And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
    No top draft picks for your New Year...


    We are just daily bloggers
    That tweet about the Habs
    We are your "loving" neighbours
    Hoping Gustavsson gets mad

    See the puck come to you,
    And to you your waffles too,
    And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
    No top draft picks for your New Year...


    Good Burkie and good Wilson
    As you sit by the fire
    Pray, think of the opposition
    As they wander through the mire

    See the puck come to you,
    And to you your waffles too,
    And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
    No top draft picks for your New Year...


    We see you have some truculence
    Of pugnaciously thick skin,
    We hope some of your turbulence
    Will knock you out so we can win

    See the puck come to you,
    And to you your waffles too,
    And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
    No top draft picks for your New Year...


    Call up the Marlies to this house
    And crank open a brew,
    Fans wallow in their shallow beer,
    A Molson67 or two

    See the puck come to you,
    And to you your waffles too,
    And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
    No top draft picks for your New Year...


    Komisarek loves to pass
    Straight up to center ice.
    A breakaway! For Cammalleri!
    Who says, "That pass was nice!"

    See the puck come to you,
    And to you your waffles too,
    And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
    No top draft picks for your New Year...


    God bless the Master of this house,
    The Pensioners delight.
    All tickets sold despite the fact
    This team's a dreadful sight!

    See the puck come to you,
    And to you your waffles too,
    And God bless you and send you a sour New Year.
    No top draft picks for your New Year...

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  7. WOW! N31, that is a nice piece of poetic work!

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  8. i cried like Elives when he found out Karate could be a heartbreaker.

    FUCK Burka, donut boy, graval, Kommi I suck, and the whole band of delisional Canadians who like the leafs instead of Canada's team the Habs.

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  9. Can no one take the boy of the header I feel like a pedophilia every time I tune in.

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  10. outstanding work moe, GG, N31, well everyone around here except me. i do nothing. i finally ended sexy friday 2 minutes ago

    waffles ready! GYFH!!

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  11. THROW THE WAFFLE! (In 3D!)

    GYFH!

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  12. cbc/hnic, trying to make people think these two teams are equals. heh.

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  13. I believe the Habs will have instant karma after the strong effort they put in the 3rd last night.

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  14. @Steve: Your posts make less sense than a string bikini on an ostrich, but they're highly amusing all the same.

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  15. @moe: I was thinking about the same thing. I get trying to make them look good, but I love how they showed all the goals the leaf have scored on the Habs, yet none the other way. Small complaint, but that's never stopped me before.

    Oh, we're honouring past Leafs. Again. Every single Saturday night. Wonder if the waffle-maker will get his moment.

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  16. What a pathetic organization.

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  17. What's this fucking homecoming douchiness?? The Leaf sucks at ceremonies. their announcer's voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Oh for the culver tones of Michel Lacroix...

    14 alumni, none having ever won a cup in that jersey. DROP THE PUCK ALREADY!!!

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  18. is this honour mediocrity night?

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  19. Oh, he had the most Ws for the Leaf in the 80s? Wow. What, 50? 51? I think the goalie for the not yet formed San Jose Sharks had more Ws in the 80s.

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  20. Fucking auto correct - DULCET tones of Michel Lacroix.

    Oh, fine, I'll clap for Wendel. Tough sumnabitch, that guy.

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  21. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  22. What a embarrassing organization.

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  23. heh, leaf voice guy has to ask the crowd to proudly sing.

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  24. Heh...had to fly all these old timers in...too cheap to pay for an anthem singer.

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  25. Why is everything so fucking awkward at the ACC? They role out the grinders and checkers, Tiger, Wendel, and of course Bower. And now they can't even get the organ grinder to play the whole anthem... Sigh...

    THROW THE WAFFLES!

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  26. Go you fucking Habs, GO!!!!

    DROP THE PUCK!!!!

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  27. My rum and eggnog couldn't even dull the pain of watching that.

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  28. i'm holding a scotch bottle to one eye and a beer bottle to the other. is that how to get the 3-D?

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  29. Wow, that was super offside there by the leaf.

    Oh Squid.

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  30. Why do hughson and simpson make it sound like the leaf has a decent team?

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  31. @29: Coke! Also, I've been watching HNIC since 1995. You just need to find the special mushrooms.

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  32. *I've been watching HNIC in 3D since 1995 is what I meant to say.

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  33. It's ok, it'll make the inevitable Habs win that much sweeter.

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  34. Yeah...what Orangeman said....

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  35. This 3D is dull. So is the play-by-play. So was that goal.

    Back to RDS. HD > 3D

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  36. Get ready Price!

    Do the Habs even have a shot yet? Are they going to have one of 'those' games again?

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  37. Please God...let the Hans find their game tonight...

    wv: If the Habs get shut out, I'm a gonna recha my dinner.

    PS FUCK FUCK FUCK

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  38. Oh good, the goons are out and hitting.

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  39. hughson and simpson are gleefully happy. Fuckers.

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  40. Wait, how did the Habs not walk away from that with a PP? Un-fucking-beleivable.

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  41. They gave them 4 for roughing each. ROUGHING?! McArthur should have gotten a misconduct for being a fucking bitch. All Spacek did was bump him, take the puck, shoot on net and ignore him the rest of the shift, then got jumped.

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  42. "If the Leafs can get a third one here, that'll be a good thing!"

    Wow, CBC doesn't even try to hide it anymore, do they?

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  43. Aha! I see the plan. Leafs are hard pressed for wins, refs under orders to not call anything on them. I saw one of them putting a paper away early. So interfere, hold, and slash away. And be stupid, like Colton Orr.

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  44. God it's hard to listen to this drivel.

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  45. Fuck it. I'll tape the game and watch the Community Christmas special instead.

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  46. Yet another painfully obvious non-call on the Leafs on that.

    OH MY GOD, THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS.

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  47. Seriously?! PK gets a stick to the face right in front of the ref and Halpern gets called...for THAT?!

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  48. Remember a couple of weeks ago when the Leaf went down by 2 against Nashville and then the refs gave them I think 7 straight PPs in the 2nd until they were winning? Yeah.

    I'm not too worried, the Leaf is terrible. Let's just hope the officials fuck off a bit.

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  49. I think I'm more shocked to discover that that was Kaberle's first goal of the season. And Burke wants a first round pick for a guy everyone claims is just as good as Markov?!

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  50. Fuckitty fuck fuck fucksticks.

    If the Habs make my first recap a loss to the Leafs, immature go to the charter airport and BEAT they asses when they get offa the plane.

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  51. We should never play an AHL team again, just give them the points and move on

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  52. Watching it in 3D doesn't make the score look any better, that's for sure.

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  53. This is almost as bad as my Christmas office party last night. The food was good but one of my coworkers was shit faced before he even got there and he was a total ass the whole night.

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  54. This game is karma coming back to bite me in the ass for skipping my friend's birthday party. Isn't it??

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  55. I hate office Christmas parties. Mine is next week...

    Oh look. Another high stick by Grabovski missed.

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  56. couldn't stand watching.
    is it bad that i'm now watching Tron to get ready for Tron Legacy on Friday?

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  57. Drink! Every time a ref puts his whistle away on a Leaf infraction. You'll be in an ambulance by the 2nd intermission for sure.

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  58. plexxxe is annoyed. join the club

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  59. Shooting at stupid angles for shits and giggles!

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  60. "If he (Cherry) was behind the bench he'd breath some life into these guys!"

    No, he would get called for too many men and lose the Stanely Cup. Canada's most famous loser.

    SQUID!

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  61. Isn't that cute. Pleky back with Cammy. And he didn't miss!

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  62. Betcha the Habs come out in the third killing dead things. That seems to be their MO lately.

    WV - thummica If the leafs score again I'm gonna start sucking my thummica.

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  63. What the fuck do the leaf have to do to get a penalty? This is stupid and obvious.

    The good news is the Habs have decided to play now.

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  64. hum, hotstove doesn't mention the Diques fans trek to milbury's old stomping ground yet they will quote cherry and slag the Habs., hum.

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  65. Refs have woken up. Oh wait, its a Habs they 'caught'.

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  66. What's irritating about this game is we know the Habs can skate circles around these douchbags but obviously they can't be arsed.

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  67. A lef penalty. That ref will be disciplined.

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  68. That was the PP against the League's worst PK.

    le sigh.

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  69. We look *completely* disinterested. This is crap.

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  70. Ugh Ugh. Me Phaneuf. Me beat chest with hockey stick and poke dirty pokes at Gionta and Subban. Ugh Ugh. Ref don't care what I do. Ugh Ugh. Drool.

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  71. For the love of God, just tie the fucking game so we don't have to listen to these pinheads crowing all night. *sigh*

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  72. Well that was entertaining at least.

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  73. Seriously, they know how to apply pressure but completely shit themselves when they have to actually score.

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  74. Why even bother pulling the goalie? They suck with 6 players on the ice.

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  75. My internet died on that ENG. I think it tried to kill itself.

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  76. Now Vancouver is retiring Markus Naslund's number. OK I guess.

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  77. Now I want GSP to utterly fucking destroy Koscheck. No other result will do.

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  78. quick pool. you're stuck on an island with 1 man. do you takle McSplooge or Glen Healy?

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  79. poll not pool. but who would rather be stuck in a pool with?

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  80. @nilan
    In a pool: McSplooge looks like he might survive me attempting to drown him. Healy looks like he might sink quickly.

    Stuck on an island: Healy's hair jell doesn't look edible. McSplooge may be poisonous. It's a lose-lose situation...

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  81. @Nilan: I'll happily take either as long as I can bring two of my favourite items. My shotgun and my shovel.

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  82. I couldn't tell if they were retiring Naslund's number or burying it.

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