We Miss The Whale: Canes on Ice pops in for our Game Preview and Open Thread

We like traditional game entertainment at FHF. Give us an organ playing the duh-duh-duh-duh...duh-DUH (CHARGE!) thing at the Forum over the multimedia seizure-inducing nightmare at the Bell Centre any day. But one innovation we could get behind is Ice Girls. Like Carolina's Storm Squad. Hot Southern Belles in tight outfits prancing around on ice? Giddyup.

We are pleased to welcome wufpirate from Carolina on Ice for a little cross-posting action today in advance of tonight's tilt. Check out our post over there. Before we get to his goodness, some quick and dirty bullet points for you:

• 7 PM start at the Bell Centre, on all the usual media outlets (i.e. not HNILeafsNation);
• Habs have taken 2 of 3 so far this season against the Canes, but counting playoffs Canes have won 8 straight in Montreal (yikes);
• Not to mention Habs have lost 4 straight at home;
• Bégin and Smolinski out with injuries;
• Huet still massaging his groin, so Price is between the stripper poles;
• After one game, Rhino is god;
• Rod Brind'amour, age 200, has 31 points;
• Ryder will be back on Line 4B. We've said a prayer for you Mikey.

And here's a little Canerrific Q & A:

How ya'll doin? Comment allez-vous? I'm wufpirate of Carolina On Ice. Blogging about the Canes and any other hockey relations in the Carolinas, I enjoy watching the circus that is Canada and their hockey teams. When I'm not busy being the world's shittiest photoshopper, you'll find the occasional post about Les Habs. When I asked the FHF if they had any ideas about doing a cross-posting, their reply was: "Dude, I'm not an idea man. I post hot chicks and react! It'll be great!". Fair enough.

FHF: Why are you a Hurricanes fan?
COI: Most people around here didn't know anything about hockey other than the names were hard to pronounce and that its too fucking cold for ice sheets around here (OK, so some still don't know). With UNC, Duke & NC State all within 40 miles of each other - if it wasn't college sports - nobody gave a flying fuck. As the team slowly started getting people to show up for games in Raleigh around the 2001-2002 season, the locals in and around the capital city couldn't help but catch Caniac Fever. I couldn't take myself away from the team during their Cinderella run to the SC Finals that season and have been hooked ever since.

FHF: What do you like/dislike about the Habs?
COI: I like the Molson Bell Centre because the Canes have had some magical moments there. I like when you let Erik Cole enter the arena. Habs fans hate the Leafs & Sabres too. I like how every time a decent goalie joins the team, he's referred to as "The Savior" until he has a bad game - then he's getting poo flung at him as he rides out of town. I like Saku Koivu, a character guy who knows how to say "Kiss My Ass" en Francais. And unlike Montreal probably is right now, I like that its not cold as balls in NC.

Dislike how when Habs fans are in Raleigh getting rowdy and enjoying the tailgates - they can cuss us out in French and we haven't a clue. If we shout, "Hey - Eat shit dickfaces!", the Hab fan can say "Hey, eat it yourselves you Redneck bastards!". I get annoyed hearing the "Ole! Ole! Ole!" after a goal or MON victory - but do enjoy the Bouncing Souls version of that tune.

FHF: Favorite moment as a Canes fan?
COI: All those Stanley Cup victories were awesome back in the day. Oh wait, the Hurricanes, right. Zen is a Carolina Hurricanes tailgate during the playoffs. Overall, my favorite moment (of course) is our SC Championship in 2006 - what made it even more badass was seeing the Edmonton Coilers' fans rioting after Game 6 like they had already won.

FHF: Lowest moment as a Canes fan?
COI: The entire 2003-2004 pre-lockout season. Josef Vasicek was our leading scorer if that tells you anything.

FHF: When you're not following your team, you're...
COI: Traveling with the wifey sampling the world's finer adult beverages or enjoying the beautiful state that is NC.

Thanks for playing wufpirate! Lots of (bad) luck tonight! K everyone, let's hear your dirty thoughts in the comments.

"Smiles, everyone, smiles!" Habs 4, Bruins 2

Plan the parade - A win, baby!!! Against a division rival! Against a longtime rival! We're smiling! HF10 was right. We're back on the bandwagon (the temporary jump off in the second period notwithstanding).

Many, many good things here. Let's start with that 1st period. A delicious plate of awesomeness. All 4 lines creating chances. All 3 D pairings working. PP finally working again. Price had practically nothing to do. I was giddy, and it wasn't the bottle of Bushmills I was working on. Best "team" period we've played all year.

Next, let's turn to HF10 and Panger's boy Higgins. Giddyup. Working it in the O zone. Skating, passing, looking, scoring. Beautiful.

Ryan O'Byrne. Say it with me. We're still deciding between Rhino and Burnsy as his nickname (vote in the comments), but either way that was a fabulous debut. Totally not out of place. 2 assists. Plenty of hits. Used his size. Some nice passes out of the zone. He even looked stylish wearing the number 3. He's the real deal. Pencil him in as our 4th D now. Pencil Breezer in as a healthy scratch for the rest of the year (please please please).

Some other parade notes - Chips' hard work was rewarded with his 3rd goal of the season. Habs bounced back from a crappy 2nd period to have 17 shots in the 3rd. Markov & Komo's D was better. Price was solid as usual. It seems like we won alot of faceoffs (that can't be right, can it?). The Bushmills didn't give me a hangover.

The sky is falling - did you see that 2nd period? The Bushmills bottle took a real hit. Habs totally laid back and did nothing. I hate that. Looked like they were skating in chocolate pudding. Can this team play 60 minutes for once? Please? Can I get some pudding skin singles? Please?

Maxim Lapierre, pussy. Seriously, Claude Julien sends out the goon, you're just up from Hamilton and you need to make an impact. And you skate away from said goon and let Little Franky B. fight your battles for you??? Don Cherry wants a word, you visor-wearing French-Canadian.

And the injury bug finally hit. Bégin hit his shoulder hard into the boards (pisser), and Smolinski may be out indefinitely (no great loss).

Chez Parée bound? Absolutely, though there will be no dancers for 20 minutes in the middle of the evening. And Lapierre didn't get in because he turned and ran away from the bouncer.

Next evil, evil foe - Canes Saturday night in Montreal. Long live The Whale.

The Morning Skate for Friday, December 7th

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of federal court...

• Believe it or not, Habs win, and look pretty decent (for 40 minutes). More later today;
• Leafs now officially "hot" with 4th straight win. Oy;
• Sid the Kid was held off the scoresheet, but the Pens continued their West swing with a 3-2 shootout win over the Flames.

Let the winning streak begin!

"Ladies and gentlemen, on stage for your dancing pleasure, the Broooons" - Game Preview and Open Thread

If this can't inspire the Habs, I don't know what will.

Waiting in line details - 7:00 PM start, TD Banknorth Gah-den, Boston MA. On TV: RDS and RDS-HD in French. It's on NESN in the U.S. Montreal English radio CJAD, Montreal French radio CKAC. Habs have won all 3 against the B's this year. That's about to change.

Pay your cover charge to - The Spoked B. Any blogger named "Doobie" who randomly quotes The Simpsons is alright by us.

Hot sexy Habs to Watch - Please note this feature has been suspended until further notice.

Hot sexy Bruins to Watch - Marc Savard has an 11-game point streak, the longest in the NHL this season.

Skanky Habs to Watch - Markov. Komo. Breezer. Bouillon. Hamr. Gorges. Koivu. Ryder. Dandy. Streit. Tits. Tenderness. Greek Lightning. Pleks. Smolinski. Bégin. Carbo. Muller. Jarvis. Pierre Gervais. The athletic therapist. The asistant to the travelling secretary. Did I miss anyone?

Skanky Bruins to watch - Tim Thomas fell awkwardly while trying to snare a deflected shot in their last game, so look for Tuukk Raask in net.

In the VIP Room - Habs look to shake things up by inserting Ryan O'Byrne and Maxim Lapierre into the lineup, just off the bus from Steeltown. Both have some size and grit. But we agree with FHF regular lawyergirl77 who ranted the other night that we are "playing an ass-backwards style of hockey for the talent we do have on the ice." Shit yeah. Stop attempting to play D Carbo, open things up for a change. Call up Little Tits and let the kids loose.

Post-game adult enetertainment establishment - The Foxy Lady looks pretty classy. If you like classy.

K so every comment tonight should start with "Habs Suck."

The Game Day Skate for Thursday, December 6th

Bullet points for what you missed whle dreaming of a white christmas...

• Panthers are the cure for what ails the Sens, as the Sens hang on for a 5-4 win to end their losing streak. Can the Habs play Florida next please?
• Sid the Kid finally makes an appearance in Western Canada (goodbye stupid schedule) and gets 3 helpers in a 4-2 win over the Oil;
• Scott Niedermayer is returning form his semi-pseudo-partial retirement;
• Bertuzzi maybe was ordered by Marc Crawford to go after Steve Moore. Yikes.

Habs in Beantown tonight. OK, the rebound starts here and now! Hahahaha, I kill me.

What FHF Thinks About Habs' Wins in October

Dear Habs,

Thanks for yet another tremendous cock tease. October means nothing to us now. Year after year, we fall for your little scheme. After stuffing our faces with your promises during the first few weeks of the season, we're giving it all back. Today we know better.

And don't you think we're going to follow you on the Maxim Lapierre will save our pathetic souls logic. This HF was there last night, and would have rather spent the entire evening gargling with mayonnaise. You're far from a Lapierre quick fix solution. Make love to yourselves.

HF33

Panic button FINALLY pushed (a little)

Habs coaching staff and management woke up and realized the sky is falling (should have read FHF guys!) and have acted. Ryan O'Byrne and Maxim Lapierre have been called up from Hamliton, while Mickey Grabs is going down.

Next player moves involve the Nancy Kerrigan treatment for Michael Ryder and the castration of Patrice Brisebois. Then the dead weight will be gone.

Wings 4, Habs 1. We just don't care anymore.

Here's your game highlight.

A little FHF behind the scenes for you. The day after a Habs game, in the morning, we email each other to discuss who is least busy at work and / or wants to recap the game. This morning, we had the following email exchange:

HF29: Anyone want to review that crap?

Panger: Not really. We should just post a picture of a stripper and pretend no game happened yesterday. Except for El Dandy’s diving tackle and Chelly’s follow up. The only highlight of the game.

Rest of FHF: [sound of crickets]

So here's our game review for you: 16 shots. That's not good. Keep your head up for the falling sky, and have a nice day.

The Morning Skate for Wednesday, December 5th

Bullet points for what you missed while haveing nightmares of, well, being a Habs fan right now...

• Look, no one thought we could beat the Wings, but don't give up after a period, boys. Wings 4-1. More later today, if we can stomach it;
• At least the Sens can score when they lose, 4-3 in a shootout;
• Even worse that the Habs patheticness (patheticity?) is the Leafs winning their third in a row, 3-1 over the Preds. All is well in Leafland. Kill me now;
• Mark Recchi has been waived by the Flyers. There's the Habs answer!

TMS is looking for a new hobby. Watching hockey has become no fun. Suggestions? I'm leaning toward repeteadly shoving a dull object in my eye. It may be more enjoyable.

"Ladies and gentlemen, on stage for your dancing pleasure, the best fucking team in the NHL, that we have no chance against" - Preview and Open Thread

Oh the humanity! In the midst of a tailspin, we get our only game against the Wings this year. We are so screwed. At least we give you something nice to look at.

Waiting in line details - 7:30 PM start, Phone Booth. On TV: RDS and RDS-HD in French. It's on Versus in the U.S. Montreal English radio CJAD, Montreal French radio CKAC. I'm not going over how hot the Wings are and how much the Habs suck. I will mention that there will be a pre-game ceremony celebrating the historic Wings-Habs Original 6 rivalry. Wings will be represented by legends Gordie Howe, Ted Lindsay, and Alex Delvecchio. Habs will be represented by Claude Lemieux. I wish I was kidding.

Pay your cover charge to - HockeyTownTodd. I am always pleasantly surprised when I search for opposing team blogs and I find FHF in their blogroll. But then I see that Baroque, who I have seen in our comments, is one of the contributors. We're just one happy little blogging family!

Hot sexy Habs to watch - I don't know any more. Higgins and Kovy played well together Saturday night. Of course, that assumes they will play together tonight, with Carbo's picking out of a hat line combos.

Hot sexy Wings to watch - they are all great. We bow down to you, hockey town. Keep your eyes on Zetterberg, Holdstrom, and Lidstrom. Remember when the best Wings were all Russian? The times they are a-changin'.

Skanky Habs to watch - well not skanky per se, but our goaltending situation bears watching. Huet out with a groin, Price will start while taking massive doses of Thera-Flu. That can't be good. Oh, and the rest of the team is coming apart at the seams, in case you didn't notice. Even big-time bloggers think so.

Skanky Wings to watch - Dominik Hasek? He has a .863 GAA and has lost his last 3 starts. But he's playing the Habs. 23-10-5 lifetime record.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - Solid Gold used to be the place in Montreal. Fantastic women and a fun time. Haven't been there in years, as my last visit was disappointing and it didn't seem worth it to schlep up the the Met anymore. But you can watch their commercial and decide for yourself (moderately NSFW).

Watching the game? At the game? Listening? Imagining the game in your head? Let's hear your dirty, dirty thoughts in the comments.