"The Senators ... just like watching C-Span, except more boring!"
Good lord, it's the Senators. Well, let's get this shit over with. The vanilla Sens and their fans are the yearly physical of the Habs schedule: dull, predictable, possibility of being violated in a professional and boring manner. Let's get this done and move on.
Paint Drying: Tonight, at the Bell Centre at 7:30. Habs winners of two straight, Sens are 3-6-1 in their last 10. These teams have already played 3 times this year and still have (checks schedule) good God, three more meetings including tonight.
Grass Growing: Random Sens assembly-line winger Chris Kelly had a hat-trick last game. Whoop-de-doo. Quiet Swede Captain Daniel Alfredsson is still around. With the annual "we hate Dany Heatley" game out of the way, Sens are not-so-boldly wandering in the wilderness of the bottom half of the Eastern standings. Even their most intriguing celebrity couple is the nicely cute and quiet Mike and Carrie. Jesus, even Hilary Duff and Mike Comrie send each other naughty texts.
Christmas Party at the Accounting Firm: Habs are winning the Chocula way, with stifling defence, great goaltending, everyone doing their job and doing it the same way every time. Chocula even found a way to remove the one skater who strayed off the plan when PK had one bad game. Now he may never get back in because the Swiss Mister II is playing it safe. Cripes. Of course, like Sens fans in the Alfie/Heatley/Spezza heyday, winning makes you accept some dullness.
C-Span on a continuous loop: The most interesting thing about the Sens used to be our old friend Senators Los Cojones over at Five For Smiting; you could always count on SLC to rip someone or something to pieces like a rabid pitbull when wronged. Sadly, SLC has called it quits so now everything associated with Ottawa is beige.
Being Single and Listening to Your Married Friends Talk About Their Kids: Well, if your kids were Mathieu Darche or Benoit Pouliot or Pleks or TFS, you'd be bragging too. For the Sens, both goalies have been pretty good ... but instead of igniting a goalie controversy, it's made Sens fans almost crack a smile and say "I like that Leclaire and Elliott. Good goalies." Scintillating.
Dishwater, dull as: Repeat the same - Markov out for the season. Sens don't even have the decency to have an injury.
Out on a date with your Mom: Usually as boring and painful as you can imagine ... unless you're HF29, whose Mom is the coolest and will be at the game with him tonight!!! Whoooooooo!!!
@29 and mom of 29
ReplyDeletePlease, no flashing the crowd. In this snow storm I don't want to have to bail you out.... again.
zzzzzzzz
ReplyDelete(just practising. not a comment on 10's preview)
mom and I will get tanked before the game so we'll have fun at least
@29 Hope you have a good time and no controversies.
ReplyDeletelast time I took my Mom to the booth, we ended up in the middle of a fight (not even between opposing fans but between 2 Habs fan fighting over a supposedly disparaging remark about one of the girlfriends - wasn't even a borng game as it was Habs-Pens)
Geez. When the Habs grab a big lead and McSplooge starts using his suicidal voice, I may fall asleep.
ReplyDeleteGYFHGzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
@ mom of 29 - keep the little shit in line.
For the record, speaking from experience, big accounting firm xmas parties are actually pretty decent.
ReplyDeleteBooze and chicks everywhere.
New "marketing" company's xmas party...not the same...
All the "boring, boring" & zzzzzz
ReplyDeletewtf??
What if the player formerly known as "l'Artiste" is auditioning? Who then will be bored?
not Weber. nor PFK.
Psst! It's a 7PM start. Of course, we'll all be in a deep sleep by 7:30.
ReplyDeleteGYFHG!
@ Patrick:
ReplyDeleteI went to four years of big accounting firm Christmas parties, and the only one that wasn't boring was the year they hired Blue Rodeo's Jim Cuddy to perform. Otherwise it was like a Sens game with (admittedly) lotsa free booze but not so many chicks (unless you counted the ladies from marketing).
No PK again will make it doubly-boring. Seriously, Chocula would probably scratch Ovechkin to curb his enthusiasm. Jerk.
ReplyDeleteChances are most of the crowd will be stuck in traffic in the snow anyway.
Coffee and baileys tonight instead of the traditional beer and/or rum and coke. It'll help to stave off the zees and also be in homage to y'all experiencing winter in Montreal. Still just lots of rain here in NS.
ReplyDeleteThink we'll hear a 'WE WANT PK' chant tonight? Especially if YW makes a mistake.
29 - I love your mom. Any woman who can be adjectived with hot and drunk is AOK in my books. Have a great time. Sounds like you'll need a drinking game to kill the time. Every time the fans boo because the refs 'missed a call', chug one $12 beer (or whatever they go for now).
Very à propos thread theme.
ReplyDeleteSo if AK46 scores does 29 turn to Mom and scream Tits! (or does Mom29 scream first?!)
Fucking Swiss, first they shut down the Wikileaks guys bank account, and now there favorite son takes PFK out of the lineup by listening to fucking Vampire speak. Choucula could win the first two rounds with plyons, but the next two rounds he will need a PFK.
ReplyDeletejust checking in quickly before i meet mom at the bar in a half hour. she called to tell me she's got the flaming sambucas lined up and ready to light
ReplyDeletei promise you all i will start the "we want PK" chant at the first opportunity
i want gomez to get off his ass and bore a hole in sens defence
ReplyDeleteThis is nice;
ReplyDeleteG Karri Ramo: 24 years old, 6'3", 207 pounds, catches left. KHL Club: Avangard Omsk (19W, 8L, 1 OTL, 1 SOL)
Stats: 25GP, 16-6-2-0, 2.01GAA, .921%
@ anon - calm down man, christmas is not for another 18 days...
ReplyDeletePut on the red light parody;
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N4EFVgtB0Y
30 minutes to the game and the comment section is as asleep as Gomez.
ReplyDeleteFlyToa meant;
ReplyDelete30 minutes to the game and the comment section is as asleep as Gomezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
to wake up the section, Boone has a link to a coll ad
ReplyDeletehttp://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=761524348149&oid=131261303584199&comments
(sorry have yet to understand how to to the bracket thing for links)
best WV ever: fights
flying fucking frenchman, not orange fucking blocking plyons. Fuck change the fucking rules, do we want to watch a chess game where some dumb fuck breaks out of the zombie spell and makes a human mistake, Fuck this Zombie Vamp hockey
ReplyDeleteThey're so winning tonight. I'm gonna miss you, PK.
ReplyDeleteBea's link
ReplyDeleteI'm bored.
thans iRiri
ReplyDeletewe could get a pool going on McSplooging.
first one to post the first dubious comment
betting on who will be his monster
which player will get him salivating
etc
not a good start.
ReplyDeletethnak god Price was awake
Because it's never too early to put the words on notice ... top banned words of 2010, as defined, somewhat, by me ...
ReplyDeleteFrenemies
- people you still admire, despite their affection for the leaf or worse the Bruins, or worser, both, or worsest, add the flyers to the axis of evil
Social Media
- those that don't comment at Habs I/O
Sexting
- what mcsplooge does with all underaged NHLers he calls insertname+ie (eg. Tommie, Markie, Buddie, Kendie)
Obamabot
- lost all hope, no change coming
How's that workin' out for ya?
- how to greet Brian Burke
Establishment
- NHL's version allows for rude personal emails about players the head honcho of head hits hates
Mainstream
- the whoosh of PleXXXe skating down the ice
Lamestream
- the whoosh of MeXXXe skating down the ice
Emboldened
- let PFK be
Litmus Test
- How good are the Habs with a Captain?!
Blowout preventer
- See TFS™
Top Kill
- See Habs PK
Real Housewives of ___________
- Ovenmitts?
Gaga
- See TFS™
Junk Shot
- See mcsplooge
Enthusiasm Gap
- An Ottawa Senators game
Mixologist/Mixology
- meth+ice cream, stir don't shake, get a spoon
Folks
- Use it when imitating bob cold
Elites
- CHeck the Habs in the standings kidz
Hysterical
- CHeck the leaf in the standings kidz
Breathless
- Bar
Fee Fees
- Living in La Belle Province incurs these
Structural Unemployment
- see Vodkov
Epistemic Closure
- I need a lawyer for this one
Hippy Punching
- What I'd like to see a hippy do to don cherry
Well, looks like both teams are playing like poop.
ReplyDelete@moemen, I raise my freak flag in your honour, brilliant take on the situation at hand.
ReplyDelete0ne thing I like about Sens/Habs games: I get to listen to them on the radio instead of just following the boxscore on NHL.com
ReplyDeleteOne thing I don't like though is constantly having to tell customers to shut up so I can actually hear the play by play during some nice action sequences
mcsplooge: "I know Gonchar is bigger than Gionta".
ReplyDeleteThey pay people for this.
Squid!
ReplyDeleteGOOOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Squid!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteamazing
ReplyDeletea PP goal when we barely touch the puck .
talk about making your own luck
Is it just the aftereffects of my fever or did Squid just score on PP??
ReplyDeleteGooooooooooooooal. Thanks Chris Phillips for being a crappy defenseman.
ReplyDelete@Moe
ReplyDeleteyou won the first iffy McSplooge comment
I'd say meth and ice cream for you but we all know how unreliable anything promised on these comment pages are
(I'm in awe of your banned word lists)
lg77, Squid scored but there's no reason to not mix the NyQuil.
ReplyDeleteThx bea.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I should call Ben and Jerry and have them sponsor FHF...
MOAR GOALS!
ReplyDelete@Moe
ReplyDeleteooh I second that.
but wait didn't they get bought out by a big company?
explains the unoriginal flavors
@ moeman - Ben and Jerry and that nice, toothless, bald young man who calls himself 'lil fucker across the street. Gives all the young kids free coke and peanuts. Such a nice man!
ReplyDeleteWv: randomp - indeed that is a random P. What are you gonna do about it?
Squidddddddddd!!!
ReplyDeleteI was on the phone so I missed it. My friend just told me there's a Hooters in Mtl. Can anyone confirm?
@ iRiRi - looking to apply? If so, we want pictures.
ReplyDeleteFUCK
ReplyDelete@iRiRi,
ReplyDeleteQ: "My friend just told me there's a Hooters in Mtl. Can anyone confirm?"
With all due respect and you know I love women.
A: Look in the mirror. (you see kidz, iRiRi was Hootin' and a hollerin' when Squid scored and ...
~~~
ack, horrible goal to give up.
crap
ReplyDeleteNO NOT YOU, SENS.
ReplyDeleteAnd why am I not surprised that botched half-asleep coverage had Spacek involved....
@Flying- I don't want to work there, I want to, um, eat there. Yeah, that's it.
ReplyDeleteAlso, fuuuuuuuucccckkk.
RiRi - I think there is one on south Sore on Taschereau boulevard, but don't quote me.
ReplyDeleteMoe - is it just me or does NyQuil now SUCK? No buzz anymore, barely knocks me out. I remember that shit used to be lethal. Now its no better than Buckleys. Wah.
lg77, true but NeoCitran (doubled up) will knock you out harder than a Sens game with a slight morphine-ish numbing as you drift into the arms of Morpheus. Bonus, its lemony.
ReplyDeleteAh, tsn panel says PFK has to 'dial it down' and 'be a Pro'. Ah.
ReplyDeleteBTW kidz, darren pang has a pro-hockey media job. One of the many FOGs that is still cashing it in.
ReplyDelete@LG11
ReplyDeleteI believe that is due to acclimatization (or something)
I see bigger doses in your future
WV a good pectoris comes in handy for FF cups on display at Hooters
You guys, I just googled it. There really is one!
ReplyDeleteiRiRi meant she gOOgled it.
ReplyDeleteDarren Pang: "the white way--RIGHT way". Tadan...
ReplyDeleteSorry, but firstly Pietrangelo's public personality is a block of wood compared to PK's. I'd rather have PK "the human quote machine" than your average Cyberman hockey player.
Moe - if it wasn't the apocalypse outside, NeoCitran would be in my future. Alas, NyQuil it is.
ReplyDelete@ moe - thank GOD for lemon-flavored. Am I the only one who can't stand anything cherry-flavored?
ReplyDeleteWv: derboop. As in: Interviewed about his play after the game, Spacek had this to say: "Spacek skate and mean sensman come with puck and Spacek made derboop! Now Spacek sad :( "
Get well lg.
ReplyDeleteNice catCH n31.
@FlyToa,
ReplyDeletehttp://www.jeremiahweed.com/
CHerry mash version. Puts NeoCitran+Vodka to sleep.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
ReplyDeleteMan those look delicious. But I still hate anything cherry flavored... I really gotta try and grt back to hard liquor. Used to LOVE it, now I can barely smell it without feeling like there's something WRONG inside me....
ReplyDeleteNote to all you young kids out there: don't think you can go 48 hours without sleep, 24 hours with no food or water, and then drink half a bottle of Jack's.... You will know what real pain is.
Tony Marinaro got his wish in that Gomez is now injured. Now we're down the one guy who can plow through the crowd with speed (especially since PK is SCRATCHED).
ReplyDeleteOuch. That looked painful. Make the Senzzz pay!
ReplyDeleteSCORE ON THIS FUCKING POWERPLAY
ReplyDeleteGomez out, Pax or Desharnais in?
ReplyDeleteAlso, this PP needs some PFK.
mcsplooge just mentioned 29ie.
ReplyDeleteFail, much?
ReplyDeleteHow fucking sad is it seeing PFK up there? Nice hat.
ReplyDeleteBTW, tsners and blob mackenzie, the security detail on PFK was not paid for or supplied by the Habs. Get your fucking facts straight you fucking hacks.
@ moeman - you mean this GAME needs some PFK. I'm at work and falli g asleep here!
ReplyDeleteThis whole game needs some PK.
ReplyDelete@ moeman - you mean this GAME needs some PFK. I'm at work and falli g asleep here!
ReplyDelete@Flying - jinx! You owe me a coke!
ReplyDeleteWell, Habs, why don't you just GIVE the Sens the game in a big sleepy bow.
ReplyDeleteNo Gomez = PP SUCKS
Aaaand of course Carey saves the day! Time for the rest of them to wake up.
Call me crazy but I'm going to choose that save as the one that turns the game around.
ReplyDeleteFREE PK!
ReplyDelete@ riri - will 1kg of coke do?
ReplyDeleteThis game s so boring I had to grav a red bull off store shelves or I'd be asleep right now.
Maybe the PP players are sending CHocula a message to FREE PFK!
ReplyDeleteThis game is -50 on the PK scale.
ReplyDelete@Flying - Strictly meth, sorry.
ReplyDeleteYou know, I figure it's win-win now. If they manage to win, well, 2 points. If they lose, we see PFK. Not that I want them to lose.
Win or lose I bet a pint of NeoCitran-laced ice-cream that PFK plays versus PFK hating don cherry's fucking leaf.
ReplyDeleteOoh, tsn corrects darren FOG pang's racial slip of the tongue. Sure.
ReplyDeleteI want them to stop playing like shit and stop giving the Sens every inch of the ice.
ReplyDeleteglad that period is over.
ReplyDeletecould barely keep my eyes open (more form shame than boredom. - all those PPs took the wind right out of them. bloody awful to watch; would rather listen to a symphony of nails on a blackboard than watch any part of that period again.
ray ferraroar still has a job? He called for other players to deliberately take out Max Lapierre? What gives with the wads?
ReplyDeleteGo Ducks!!
ReplyDeleteBageldog!
ReplyDeleteHalpern!!!
ReplyDeleteWOOOHOOOOO
ReplyDeleteHalprn (doe she have a knickname?)
FUCKING *spanish soccer guy voice* GGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletemazeltof!
ReplyDeleteMazel Tov! Leclaire froze.
ReplyDeleteHalpern could be nicked ManisCHewitz. Try typing that on a NeoCitran buzz.
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to Gomez? And I hate cherry flavor too.
ReplyDeleteIn case you need to induce puke;
ReplyDeletehttp://tsn.ca/nhl/story/?id=344594
@GG - upper body apparently
ReplyDeleteOf course, that's from Dr. RDS
ReplyDeleteHalpern = Shlomo
ReplyDeleteI just made that up. I have no idea.
@iRi
ReplyDeleteThanks. Can't stay awake. I thought he was sulking or something.
I will emBELLish GG's offering with sCHloMex.
ReplyDeleteI'm all for the lemon flavors.
ReplyDeleteonce had cherry neocitran at my brothers, gagged on it (which totally defeated its purpose). the only solution was to drink it scalding hot.
I'm also very uset that I can't find lemon flavored gatorade anymore. the onlyone i could drink. bet if I was a hockey star they'd make that flavor just for me
Is it just me or did Auld move his seat further away from Gargamel?
ReplyDelete99 comments and its is ice cream city. We only have ourselves to blame (OK, and the NeoCitran) if we can't get this game thread to 200!!!
ReplyDelete@bea, lemon-flavoured G-ade is on the shelf at the Métro.
ReplyDeleteWas it just me or did the score on top show 0-0 at the 13 minute mark?
ReplyDeleteG I O !!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGio!!!
ReplyDeleteGIANT!
ReplyDeleteHave we hit 200 yet this season?
ReplyDeleteAnd in true Mr. Moey fashion, he walks into the room, stands right in front of the TV when Gionta scores. Some things never change. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteMethinks 200 will be aCHieved Saturday night vs. the leaf with PFK in the line up.
ReplyDeleteBonus will be seeing burke and cherry lose it on air.
missed the goal
ReplyDeletedon't even have a husband to blame
(and the lemon gatorade at Metro - what Metro was that Moe?)
Gatineau.
ReplyDeleteheh, mcsplooge is all worried about, the Sens player. What a fucking asswipe.
ReplyDeleteWhen is mcsplooge's contract up?
ReplyDeleteG I O , again!!!
ReplyDeleteStanley!
ReplyDeleteSo the game is fun now?
ReplyDeleteicing !!!!!! on the win cake in case that was confusing
ReplyDeleteIt's a Chanukah miracle. Roman the Hamr, Cammalleri and halpern. Baruch hashem.
ReplyDeleteHammrtime!
ReplyDeleteYup Hamr, despite mcsplooge wishing it away. Thought Gio bounced it off of Leclaire.
ReplyDeleteA Moe Gatoneau!
ReplyDeleteCrap nowhere near me
Costco has the G-ade powders. Not Neo-Citranny!
ReplyDeletePicturing 29 hugging his Mom.
ReplyDeleteheh, Neil sending a message. To who?
ReplyDeletePicturing mom of 29 managing hOOters
ReplyDelete*raises hand* from Gatineau also. More specifically Hull. Half the populace are Sens fans but hey it's not their fault, they don't know any better.
ReplyDeleteWIN!!!! W00t! 3 in a row!
ReplyDeletehow can McSlpooge make it sound like it's not that the canadiensplay well but that the Sens are offensively challenged?
ReplyDeletewhat an ass
Next thing you know it'll be an all Jewish league. Mazel Tov!!
ReplyDeletePicturing 29 marketing Habs kippahs.
ReplyDelete@moe kippahs with matching oven mitts
ReplyDeleteI need a picture of Hal Gill holding Carkner and Winchester away in very Larry Robinson manner.
ReplyDeleteAlso YAY for a less sleepy 3rd period. Maybe they were forced to look at Chocula's tie.
after a quick stop for some post-game drinks, mom and i made it home. there was 30 minutes of decent Habs hockey in there. mom will have a full report in the morning
ReplyDeleteI just realized that there haven't been any more triple low fives. What's with that?! They even made a video about it! Ugh.
ReplyDelete