The Morning Skate for Thursday, October 11th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of playing in a League Championship series...

• Habs win! Here's your highlights. Obviously you'll be noticing the Franchise Saviour (TM). Breathe people, it's one game. Much more from the FHF on the game later today, and you can scroll down to see the insta-reaction from the game open thread. TMS may have been a little harsh on the D, calling them "6 Breezers" at one point;
• A Flyers over 'Nucks blowout turns chippy turns ugly. You can see the ugly moment here at about 1:07. Broad Street Bullies are back?
• Senators win again. Yawn. Though there is hope for the rest of East as they gave up 28 shots to a sucky Atlanta team and needed Brian Elliott to be great in his NHL debut. Though TMS may just be jealous.

This 3-4 days between games is annoying. I want another game NOW.

"Ladies and gentlemen, on stage for your dancing pleasure, the Pittsburgh Penguins" - Game Preview and Open Thread

Waiting in line details - 7:30 PM start, Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh, PA. On TV: RDS and RDS-HD (in French), Pens TV Fox Sports Pittsburgh. Montreal English radio CJAD, Montreal French radio CKAC, Pens radio WXDX 105.9 FM. Hockey on alternative rock radio? Cool, dude. Last season Habs were 2-1-1 against the Pens, but the only thing anyone remembers is the vicious yet somehow satisfying spear Maxim Lapierre delivered to Sid the Kid right after the opening faceoff in a February game that was playoff-intense. Oh Max, where are you when we need you?

Pay your cover charge to - our friends over at The Pensblog of course. While their formatting-challenged layout may best be viewed with THC-9 in your system, they know how to turn a phrase and are quick with the Photoshop. The AK-47-toting, cigar-chomping penguin I saw over there this morning (seems to have disappeared now) was a work of genius.

Hot sexy Habs to watch - all eyes on the Franchise Saviour (TM) with a glance toward the Franchise Captain in Waiting (TM). El Dandy looking good up front.

Hot sexy Pens to watch - Crosby, Malkin, Sykora, Staal, Gonchar, take your pick. Jeez it's like the '27 Yankees or something. Even Michel Therrien can't screw up that lineup.

Skanky Habs to watch - with Breezer watching from the press box, ugliness should come from Gui! Gui! Gui! who has been the invisible man so far this season. And the new Danse à 10 line (Kovy Pleks Big Tits) needs to provide the big O (offense, people, get your minds out of the gutter).

Skanky Pens to watch - Crosby's right foot, bruised from a François Beauchemin shot on Saturday. Marc-André Fleury ain't been so hot between the stripper poles with a 4.81 GAA. And apparently Mark Recchi and Gary Roberts are both still alive and playing for the Pens.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - from The Cantaloupe, you can stroll over to Blush. Totally nude and a free lunch buffet. Can't get better than that. Although it's "Couples Night" tonight, which sounds a bit too classy for our tastes. Unless it means lesbian couples on stage, in which case, giddyup.

Watching the game? At the game? Listening? Imagining the game in your head? Let's hear your dirty, dirty thoughts in the comments.

1984 Draft Redux Tonight???

Jean-François pointed out in the comments to the Game Day Skate this morning that the (most likely) two biggest draft picks of 2005, Sid the Kid and Price, will face-off tonight. This to him was eerily reminiscent of the 1984 draft, where the biggest names ended up being Mario and St. Patrick. Then, out of nowhere, HF33 digs up the awesome historic photo above from 66 and 33's days in the Q and sends it to me.

Like, whoa, dude.

The Game Day Skate for Wednesday, October 10th

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of TSN's Jennifer Hedger in HD. Yikes. TMS used to think she was hot...

• All the talk is about Carey Price starting against the flightless waterfowl tonight. TSN even pulled its head out of the Centre of the Universe's ass to do a feature about it. Scroll down to the next post for HF10's very reasonable take on the whole thing. Good luck, kid, is all we'll say;
• TMS thinks the bigger news should be Breezer being a healthy scratch. It's not the crippling season- and career-ending knee injury TMS was hoping for (and still offering a beer at Hurley's to anyone who, ahem, causes to happen) but it's a start;
• Leafs get pummelled 7-1 by the Canes. Woohoo! Takes away a bit of the sting from Saturday night's loss;
• You may have noticed TMS has changed its name this morning. I am now trying to distinguish between the original TMS (TM FHF, circa July 2007) and the ESPN bastard who stole my idea. Anyone know a good lawyer? To the QuickLaw, my fellow FHF!!!

Alrighty big Pens-Habs tilt tonight at The waterMellon. Of course later today we'll have the preview for you along with an open thread for your game comments. TMS is stoked for his first Habs game on his new HD Sony. Hopefully Jacques Demers won't be too scary-looking.

Carey and Chips to be Fed to Penguins

According to reports, Coach Carbo has announced that Franchise Saviour (TM) Carey Price and Franchise Captain in Waiting (TM) and Panger's Boy Kyle Chipchura will both make their NHL debuts on Wednesday in Pittsburgh against Crosby, Malkin, Staal, and the rest of Oilers 2.1 (TM). Apparently Chips will replace Pleks between Begin and El Dandy so Pleks can replace Grabs on the Dance à Dix Line.

I can already hear the gnashing of teeth from fickle fans, worried that Sid the Kid and the rest of his high-flying Penguins will bomb poor Price back to the Stone Age and destroy, in order:

1) His confidence.

2) The Habs season, after their uber-rookie gets whacked.

3) The franchise for the next ten years, as the Franchise Saviour (TM) is exposed as a paper lion. (Ignore the excellent goaltending depth in the system and the host of other prospects ... the sky is falling!)

Please. Sid the Kid is the best player in the league and the Pens are exciting to watch, but this isn't exactly like throwing Price into the Spectrum in 1974 with Kate Smith doing the anthem and the Flyers and their fans baying for blood. It's the PENGUINS, a team the Habs have owned forever, and they play in the IGLOO, which might as well be a library for all the menace it's denizens muster. What Carbo has done is what coaches have done forever; start the highly-touted rookie on the road against a tough opponent. If the rookie loses badly, play the "it's to be expected" card. If the rookie loses but plays brilliantly, the "future is bright" card comes out. If the rookie wins it's a total windfall. Couple that with the fact that Huet did not look great on Saturday and Grabovski has looked lost, and I don't have any problems. Price is a talented kid and he seems totally unflappable. He's a winner, he's ready, and he's not going to have Breezer in front of him.

Because, in other FANTASTIC NEWS, Breezer will be a healthy scratch in favour of Josh Gorges, although it could have been Josh Groban for all I care. (Cue Breezer apologists with "hey, he hasn't been that bad" defence in 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... here's the thing: Breezer will always do something Breezer-like, and I hate having that sword of Damocles hanging over the team. My 70 year old Dad's heart doesn't need the abuse of watching games while wondering when the Breezer will hand it away. Breezer should have never come back, and needs to go. Now. I will beat this into the ground until someone gets him off the payroll for good.)

So, Price and Chips and Gorges take their bows, Breezer takes his hopefully-soon-to-be permanent seat in the press box, and Pleks takes a place between Kovy and Big Tits (I don't know what "Pleksing" is, but Kovy-Pleks-Tits still sounds dirty, so Dance à Dix Line stays). Works for me. Will it work for Les Canadiens? Let us know in the comments.

"Hey you kids, get off of my lawn!"

Chris Chelios is old. There is a fascinating fact that came out of the Wings-Oilers tilt last night. There were five Oilers on the ice who had not yet been born when Chelly first laced up the skates for the Habs. Chelly scored in what was his 1550th game. Yeesh. 1550. I don't think I've done anything 1550 times, even trips to strip clubs. And I go to strip clubs a lot.

The Morning Skate for Tuesday, October 9th

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of getting fired even though you led your team to the playoffs...

• Dandy-boy is comfortable back at the forward position. Put him on the second line!
• The rest of the East looks likes its bowing to the Sens already. This is their year, right SLC?
• Despite our hatred of the Leafs, we only wish the best to Jason Blake in his leukemia fight.

Crosby in HD tomorrow! Let's hope Huet doesn't have to play the puck alot.

The Morning Skate - Special Thanksgiving Edition

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of the Allouettes winning a fucking game again...

• There is a new Wirtz at the helm of the Hawks, and his name is Rocky. He can't be any worse than Bill, right?
• Joel Quenneville shakes up his lines and the results are an impressive 6-2 Avs voctory over the Sharks. Joe Sakic moved past Phil Espo into #8 on the all-time scoring list. TMS loves Sakic, so congrats. Most underrated player ever.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! TMS is thankful for RDS, his new HD TV and PVR, strippers, George Gillette, the fact that Saku is alive and on our side, Carey Price, Club Downtown, Leafs sucking, Komisarek, my share of the season tickets, Club Super Contact, the Molson Ex Zone, 24 Stanley Cups, Johnny Walker Green Label, Moosehead, Boreale Rousse, the rest of the FHF, Cleopatra's, Jordi, LG77, SLC, Topham, Robert, matt D, Anonymous and the rest of our 12 loyal readers. May we celebrate 25 together. In my lifetime.

The Sky is Falling: Leafs 4 Habs 3 (OT)

So not only do the Habs lose to the Laffs, but they (once again) blow a lead going into the third, this time allowing the Leafs to comeback from a 3-1 deficit. The turning point was Huet mishandling the puck toards the end of the second period, leading directly to Podnikawhatsky's goal.

It was the Leafs first win of the year, sparing Toronto Mayor the indignity of having to call in the military to quell a Leafs Nation uprising (can you imagine being a Leafs fan after losing twice to the Sens AND then to the Habs in one week??). Leafs fans can now sleep easier, confident that Tomas Kaberle is clearly headed to his first Norris Trophy this season thanks to his OT winner, while Vesa Toskala is now the obvious favorite for the Vezina after his first win.

The Tits: The Habs earn a point on the road. Breezer plays the second least minutes on D. Big Tits (our new name for Andrei - allowing us to call Sergei "Little Tits") scores his first of the season, along with Markov and El Dandy, who is looking comfortable up front.

The cellulite: Grabby losing all 5 of his faceoffs. Gui getting barely over 10 minutes in ice time. Huet handling the puck. Listening to Ron MacLean, Bob Cole, Harry Neale and Don Cerise openly cheering for the Leafs. (Oh wait, I watch RDS HD. Still bitter, though.)

The armpit hair: Losing to the Laffs. Obviously.

Chez Paree bound? Although it's humiliating losing to a team like the Leafs, earning a point on the road shouldn't be overlooked. No free dances, though - the Habs are paying at the door and in the back tonight.

2.5 Lap Dances (out of 10): We realized the Habs wouldn't go 82-0, but FOR THE LOVE OF GOD at least beat the freakin' Leafs.

NEXT UP: Wednesday against Sid and the Pens in the Burgh. We hope Pensblog brings the smack so we can make fun of how old Gary Roberts is. (Roberts is so old, he's the one who handed David the stone for his slingshot. I didn't say we'd bring good smack.)

"Ladies and gentelmen, on stage for your dancing pleasure, the Toronto Maple Leafs" - Game Preview and Open Thread

Waiting in line details - 7 PM start, Air Canada Centre, Toronto, ON. On TV: RDS and RDS-HD in French, CBC in English, if you call what Bob Cole and Harry Neale speak English. I call it Leafs-love-speak. Montreal English radio CJAD, Montreal French radio CKAC, Leafs radio who the fuck cares. All you have to remember from last year was that the Leafs eliminated the Habs from playoff contention with a 6-5 victory in the last game of the season. Grrrr.

Pay your cover charge to - Die Hard Blue and White. "Cynical, Argumentative, Immune to logic, Sense of impending doom clouded by hope. IE: the prototypical Leafs fan." Yup, that about covers it.

Hot Sexy Habs to Watch - Captain K, after his opening night brilliance. Throw in Huet as well. Mark Streit was so great on the PP we asked "Sheldon Who?"

Hot Sexy Leafs to Watch - Mats Sundin. One more goal and he becomes the Laffs all-time goal scorer, and 4 more points he'll lead that category as well.

Skanky Habs to Watch - Grabovski looked a litle lost in the opener, though the Dance à Dix Line (h/t LG77) had some good moments. Breezer, who played well over all, had two ugly giveaways, one in the last 2 minutes in his own zone. Keep an eye on that.

Skanky Leafs to Watch - whoever shows up in net. Seems Paul Maurice can't decide on a goalie 2 games into the season. And the Laffs are 0-14 with the man advantage to start the season.

Post-game adult entertainment estalishment - if you're Downtown head to the Brass Rail / Upper Brass complex on Yonge (it's A-Rod approved!). If you've got a car, drive north to Whiskey A Go-Go. Don't forget, in Toronto dances are $20, not $10 like in Montreal. Everything's more expensive in the 416.

Watching the game? At the game? Listening? Imagining the game in your head? Let's hear your dirty, dirty thoughts in the comments.