Thursday, January 29, 2009

Panthers Game Preview and Open Thread: Slump-buster Edition



Three losses in a row = no excuse to post hot chicks. If women were as crass as men, Homer Simpson would be the poster child for female slump-busters.

Hey Habs fans, your favorite sports team, in a slump? There is a tried and tested two-step solution: First, pray to an imaginary deity. After realizing there is no god, go out and find a slump-buster. Then feel shame. Although not as much shame as Breezer.

Waiting in line details: 7pm EST/5pm MST in Florida - another away home game for Montreal. Game is on TSN in English! Yay Pierre MacGuire! Finally, an opportunity to ignore Homer Brunet.

Hot Habs: Does Breezer count? I mean, he didn't allow any turnovers from the pressbox last game. That's something. Actually Markov has 11 points in his last 9 games - but it's probably not a good thing that a defencemen is leading in scoring.

Fiery Cats: Up front, the underrated David Booth has 17 points in his last 13 games, while on the backend, ex-Fredericton Canadien Tomas Vokoun is starting to salvage a horrible start to the season with pretty numbers (1.88 /.933) in his last few starts.

Ice Cold Canadiens: Um, all of them. Duh. They suck, will miss the playoffs and we'll all be wearing Leafs jerseys in an few months, remember?

Pouting Panthers: Bryan McCabe is to this space what Breezer is to the trunk of my car: he just belongs there.

Why the Habs may win: to impress Jay Boumeester in an effort to lure him away. We're one defencemen away from the Cup! (Wait, what? I thought they were going to miss the playoffs?) Last time in Florida Mad Max notched a hat trick, so maybe he is to the Cats what John LeClair was to Montreal. Carey Price was supposedly pissed off after the Lightening loss, so maybe he steals one.

Why the Habs shall lose: Breezer is back in the lineup. Panthers are hot with 5 wins in their last 8. While it's nice to get the injured players back, it'll be a while before they hit their stride if the last game is any indication (yeah we're looking at you, Trade Bait Chris Higgins).

OK people, on the count of three we all pray to Jebus. One, two...

70 comments:

bea_habs_fan said...

this depressed me even more.

and top it all off my verification word was apethed.
great way to describe our Habs.

HabsFan29 said...

and the biggest slump buster of all - Panger wrote this not me. let's hope we win than i can finally get some work done on game days

Jebus save us!

Limerick Dude said...

edit: OK people, on the count of three...

Praise Baby Jebus!

Anybody read PuckDaddy's interview with L'il Tits? His fave player was Pavel Bure. I believe Bure's final good seasons were in Florida. Grasping at straws, but it's a connection DAMN IT!

This site has the best Word Verification words. Mine is rediest, as in the Habs have the rediest sweaters or "the Habs were the rediest team so they won the game". See what I did there - thought positive. It hurt a little.

HabsFan29 said...

@LD - if Panger's gonna be writing previews on the streak we start, we have to get ready for typos

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

No repeat hat trick for MaxPax, he's sitting with O'Byrne, soooo we come out even?

Limerick Dude said...

@29: Fair enough, maybe typos are prat of the experience!

@Gate: Wrong Max. But I'm surprised to see him sit. Not surprised to see Carbo to his skilled coaching - let's juggle the lines and hope for the best!

bea_habs_fan said...

that got to me too.
why bench Pacs when at least HE was working tuesday.
seniority should not matter when guys like lil Tits and co are under achieving.
and O'Burn having actually played decently (compared to Hammer and others) should get another game.

verification word: dembez
should probably have read demmuv

gillis said...

@LD: "Fair enough, maybe typos are prat of the experience!", You had to throw in a typo.

So I would like to my lord Jesus Price:

Our Canadiens, who art in Florida,
hallowed be thy name;
thy Stanley come;
thy will be done in Florida as it is in Montreal.
Give us this day our monthly victory;
and forgive us our critisizement
as we forgive those who critisize against us;
and lead us into the playoffs,
but deliver us from this slump.

For the Cup, the power, and the glory are yours
now and for ever.

Amen.

Limerick Dude said...

@gillis: It's all in the subtelty.

edit: Dmen

The Gate To The Groin For Yannick Bertrand said...

@ LD: my bad, but that does sum up pretty well how the team played Tuesday...

@ gillis: /tip of the hat

fezworth said...

@gillis: Dmen indeed.

Van Hab said...

more like Cmen

kevincrumbs said...

I'd rather play Patches instead of Dagger but then again, I never won any Selke trophies either.

Perplexed in Montreal said...

Max Pac has a great future but he isn't ready for the NHL, and especially not for first line/power play duty.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thinks Rhino played well against Tampa?

HabsFan29 said...

@anon - not at all. I think most of us would agree with you

Beta169 said...

Mad Max is sitting tonight to go over creative ideas for his TOTALLY SUPER AWESOME new reality show. I imagine velvet paintings of tits (boobs, not the brothers.) And a picture of Max and Gui! ala Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly in Step Brothers.

Beta169 said...

Well, apparently I too thought of the wrong Max sitting tonight, but I stand by the rest of my post.

Perplexed in Montreal said...

Lapi was the best forward on Tuesday. the only one who worked at any rate.

By the way Mike Milbury has a blog at the CBC. It's close but I'd say he's an even worse writer than he was a player (but not as bad as he was a GM of course). Why did the CBC hire him?

Read it here.

moeman said...

I was thinking of parodying about The Simpsons, Jebus, Small Tits' love of the techno tunes, images of Breezer breakdancing at the blueline and of course tripping on meth, then I found this;

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=KwCOVCmBo88

lawyergirl77 said...

Sitting Patches is a mistake that will come back to bite us in the ass.

As is sitting O'B. Why Frankie Bouillon hasn't gone back to the kindergarten table lately, I will not understand...

Fuck, I'm depressed this week. I'm not sure whether it is because of the Habs' immense suckitude, or rather that it's simply not helping my funk.

Either way: I pray to Jeebus and all things holy that the gentlemen who are privileged enough to get paid zillions of dollars to wear the Sainte-Flanelle actually choose to FUCKING PLAY A FULL HOCKEY GAME TONIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK!!

(stellar game preview, Panger!)

fezworth said...

I spit out my coffee at 2:27. Thanks moeman. Now I have coffee on my keyboard!

moeman said...

Listen to fez's warning FHFers.

moeman said...

Also, not to spoil the fun but the @2:27 is a meth'd version of brunet and brisebois.

Perplexed in Montreal said...

Here we go.

kevincrumbs said...

Jeebus is failing us here.

kevincrumbs said...

You know, we haven't won since Obama because president. We also haven't won since Carey Price switched his pads.

HabsFan29 said...

i just got in. how bad is it?

Van Hab said...

Heyyyyy we're already losing.

This is really boring. I think hockey players should be encouraged to use performace-enhancing drugs. Real people bore me.

HabsFan29 said...

ok maybe we need to start entertaining ourselves during these games

anyone see Lost last night? thoughts?

kevincrumbs said...

@Van Hab - I think hallucinogens would be much more fun than performance-enhancing drugs.

kevincrumbs said...

FUCK. What the hell have we done to offend Jeebus/Allah/whomever!? C'mon, he survived cancer, let him score!

Perplexed in Montreal said...

Saku is rusty.

HabsFan29 said...

GAH Saku

Perplexed in Montreal said...

Pleks on the other hand just sucks.

kevincrumbs said...

Great, another penalty.

HabsFan29 said...

oh jeebus

kevincrumbs said...

Fuck this shit. Holy crap...

I wonder how many more games we need to lose for Carbo to get sacked?

fezworth said...

I think we should start praying to Tom Cruise now.

HabsFan29 said...

oh Xenu, please take us away on your spaceship to anywhere

fezworth said...

This is the traditional "Swoon in Florida", but usually it happens during the pre-Christmas road trip... not in January. I thought we were clear.

kevincrumbs said...

Okay, okay. Let's build on this. A power play! Put the Tenderness-Max-Kostopoulos line out there.

kevincrumbs said...

Higgins sucks.

HabsFan29 said...

so, what's everybody drinking?

i've got some Johnny Walker green label on ice. i now need to refill my glass

Perplexed in Montreal said...

Price is not playing well. The second goal was on a power play caused by his give-away, and he gave a juicy rebound for the first goal.

Van Hab said...

29 - please no Lost spoilers. I recorded it and will be watching it shortly.

The Habs performance is making my hate my girlfriend. For Christmas, she bought expensive Craigslist tickets for when the Habs come to town on feb. 15th. On Christmas day that was an amazing gift.
Now, I figure she might as well have poisoned me and desecrated my body with a Mats Sundin bobblehead.

If the Canucks' (She's a fan) suckitude wasn't so much greater than the Habs' I'd have a serious problem.

Baroque said...

Montreal will start the second with a 5-3 - that should help, right?

Bouwmeester's audition starting off well?

moeman said...

Griffon Extra Blonde. Not Leffe but quite tasty.

http://www.mcauslan.com/fr/nosbieres/griffon_xblonde.htm

Got some KIlkenny's and Smithwicks for the Habs v. Bs and of course the Steelers SuperBowl.

HabsFan29 said...

i like your beer taste moeman. tha Griffon is excellent. i like the British Isles tribute to the SB

Here's to alcohol. The cause of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

Perplexed in Montreal said...

Van - you think you got problems. I have tickets to the Broons game on Sunday.

It could be a very bad experience.

kevincrumbs said...

I'm rocking the Hite tonight, which is Korean piss water. I had a blow out party a couple of weeks ago and my best friend brought me a couple of liter bottles of this stuff.

I sometimes enjoy watching the Habs while drinking Unibroue's Fin du Monde.

On a non alcohol related tip, I quite like David Booth. Too bad he's on the other team.

HabsFan29 said...

although moeman now that i see it, maybe your beers are an Irish tribute to Boston? at least that would make sense

what's our liquid tribute to the Habs? paint thinner?

kevincrumbs said...

Alright! Good start to the period.

moeman said...

I kick-started a monthly gathering of buds & beers last week, here (the servants are lovely, luscious ladies);

http://www.pubitalia.ca/abbey.html

and had a few Irish brews. Too good to not buy and enjoy.

2-1

kevincrumbs said...

Fuck McCabe. The ref didn't even blow the whistle yet.

kevincrumbs said...

@Moeman: MMM... Belgian beer...

Good save there by Carey Price on Frolik.

HabsFan29 said...

well that save could have been a game-saver

HabsFan29 said...

oh Breezer fuck you

HabsFan29 said...

kill me

kevincrumbs said...

Well, if we could get some fucking sustained offensive zone pressure here. Time for beer number three.

Baroque said...

Objectively, that was a pretty goal.

But it does indeed suck for Montreal. :(

kristin said...

So suddenly the Panthers are an unstoppable force? First they beat the Flyers, and now they're dominating Montreal? I'm sitting here listening to the game, and the only names I hear belong to Panthers.
oy.

and my verification word is bednerse. nice.

Rips it, scores! said...

Carbo needs to grow back his mid-nineties mullet. If that doesn't give courage to/strike terror in Les Boys, nothing will.

PS: Word verification = nesse. Close to Nessie, which is where the Habs are right now, plumbing the darks depths of suckitude much like a mythical Scottish dinosaur.

kevincrumbs said...

Woo hoo! Another wasted evening watching the Habs suck against a team that usually sucks. Carbo better come up with some shit quick as this team is sinking quickly.

chris nilan said...

since when are the florida panthers the 77 habs?

and since when are we the 04 panthers?

fuck hockey. bring back the expos.

HabsFan29 said...

trade everyone

Mr. Fabulous said...

This is a collapse of Ottawa Senators-like proportions. These guys are done.

matt - watching the collapse said...

Just fold the team...

Van Hab said...

Ugh. fuck it all. All of it. with a chainsaw. with a baby. with a motherfucking octopus with a chainsaw-wielding baby in each of its eight tentacles. take each of the suction cups from said tentacles and stick them onto my balls and pull pull pull you motherfuckers. pull the sack right off my testes like rust off the gate to the purgatory in which we, the Habs Fans, reside.

Anonymous said...

@ Van Hab - I wish I were a guy so I could say shit like that. And piss my name in the snow.

Verification word is polyge -- yes, indeed, I do believe I am owed one after that display tonight.