Bienvenido Señor Gomez!

Well it appears to be true. Chris Higgins has been traded to the Rangers in return for Scott Gomez.

Finally, the overpaid undersized center we've been dreaming of.

FHF 2009 UFA Preview/Transformers 2 Review

Maybe she could convince Jay Bo to come to Montreal...

So much promise, but such a let down. Still, it could have been worse.

That's how I would describe Transformers 2 and how I anticipate I will describe the Habs UFA situation in a few days.

I admit, I'm a Transformers fanboy. I cried when Optimus died in the cartoon movie. What can I say, blame my parents for letting me watch back-to-back Transformers and GI Joe for 5 straight years of elementary school instead of forcing me to go outside.

Luckily I was a few years older when the Habs traded St. Patrick.

The first live-action TF movie was pretty good. I certainly didn't hate it - except that I thought it was a slap in the face to not only make Bumblebee a Camaro, but to see him punking an old Beetle. I was excited about this new one, and not just because of Ms. Sexy and her, um, assets, but because the studio apparently handed the producers a blank cheque to draw up a boatload of robots instead of the handful afforded in the first film.

Kind of like the potential offered by having the most salary cap room of any team in the NHL.

The TF producers had great characters to choose from between all the toys produced for the 80s cartoon and all the follow ups. Just like the Habs have a bunch of UFA's to choose from.

Most troublingly, though, TF2 did exactly what I didn't expect, and it didn't turn out the way I had hoped.

Anyhoo: guys, go see it for Megan Fox. Ladies, umm, enjoy the popcorn.

Defence

Jay Bo - sweeten the $5M that Komo wants. I love him, but the Habs should not pay more than $3.5-4M per for Komo. Ohlund if probably the second best option, but if so no more than 2 years cause I see a Hamr-like decline on Mattias' horizon. Johnny Oduya might be a good fit, but I recall reading Eklund say that it was "certain" that he would end up with the Habs, so that won't happen. Please not midget Beauchemin. Being tough doesn't change being a dwarf. If they need to sign another french guy, spend less on MA Bergeron (but Weber should have that job). Zubov should retire already. If Komo goes, McKee or Scuderi might be options for a defensive D-man. I have seen Adrien Aucoin play for Calgary. Do NOT sign Adrien Aucoin.

Wingers

Hossa - he's the best, but for the money he wants, keep Kovy and Tanguay. If not Hossa, then Havlat is #2. As for Gaborik, but you might as well sign Guy Lafleur for the amount of icetime he'll see if he signed in MTL. Gaborik wouldn't hit 20 games a season in a Habs uniform. Gionta is too small, Guerin too old, Bertuzzi too much of a sourpuss a-hole, and something about Callammeri just seems fishy to me. I say he's this summer's Jason Blake - a big payday after a fluke season. It sucks that it's inevitable that Eric Cole would suck as a Hab.

For depth wingers, if they sign anyone I would imagine it'll be Greek Lightening or Ian Laperriere. (Somewhere Pierre Houde's tongue just shivered.)

Centre

The only #1 centre out there is Henrik Sedin, and the Twins are going to eat up a stupid amount of someone's cap space for the next decade. It better not be MTL. Nick Antropov is the 2nd best option (Saku not included). No.

Trade please.

Goalies

If Halak goes in the aforementioned trade, I'd love to see Manny Legace back up TFS(tm) - or Roloson if he would take a crazy pay cut. Mathieu Garon will be out there, too.

So what are you predictions for UFA day?

The Morning Skate has some questions for Bob for Tuesday, June 30th

So Bob here's our principle question for you this morning - WTF? We're just not sure we understand what you're up to. Yesterday you confirmed you made an offer to Kovalev, but then said "it's not possible" to offer Tangy or Koivu contracts before July 1st. Tell us how this makes sense Bob. We are on the verge of losing the Captain, he would probably sign for cheap, yet it's "not possible" to offer him a contract. Some dinky 2 or 3 mill contract is not gonna make a lick of difference in signing Vinny or the two-headed Sedin monster. So what's "not possible" Bob? Is your phone not working? Can't you just borrow one?

Anyway, we'll give you some props for the new Hamilton coach and for making sure you did the paperwork to get qualifying offers to all the restricted FA's (we guess the fax is working). In other positive news, good to see HF4's numbersake get an honourary captaincy to the 2010 Olympic team. And in really positive news, we swear Panger will have that UFA preview for you today. Those fingers crossed behind my back are due to an unrelated arthritic condition.

But that's all the positivity we can muster this morning. We're starting to worry we'll have no players come October. At least maybe now our boy CHips can get some playing time. You know, assuming some other team doesn't snatch him up.

The Morning Skate for Monday, June 29th

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of blowing a two-goal lead...

• RDS reports that Bob wanted to announce a Vinny trade at the draft, but was rebuffed by the Lightning owner. Hmmmm;
• Jay Bouwmeester has been traded to Calgary. Hope he enjoys the two days there.

Two days left 'til Free Agent Frenzy Day (©TSN). Panger tells us he's got a UFA preview for you. If it's as good as his Draft preview, watch out.

HF29's in-depth review of attending the draft live

There's three hours of my life I'm not getting back.

And I never even met the PPP gang. What a total waste of an evening.

Oh yeah, Louis Leblanc, bla bla bla hometown boy, bla bla bla.

The Draft Day Skate for a Hockey Mom Sexy Friday, June 26th

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of having your death overshadowed by another death...

• Bob meets the media, tells them he'll get a good player, hopefully a big centre, at the 18th spot (yeah right) and that Mike Komisarek is the only Habs UFA he has given a firm offer to;
• Say goodbye to Franky B and see who Bob wants to sign;
  
• Everyone wants Mike Tomas Kaberle;
• There won't be a second outdoor game this year after all, though the article hints a Big O game is a possibility;
• You can head over to Cycle like the Sedins for yours truly's pathetic excuse for draft thoughts.

Well, this is it. The drunken rampage Hockey MILF-hunting goes tonight. We look forward to meeting the PPP gang and puking on them. We are still holding out hope for a Panger actual hockey draft preview, so check back for that on this glorious Sexy Friday.

The Morning Skate for Thursday June 25th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of trading for the Big Aristotle...

• Vinny, Montreal, blah blah blah.
• Pierrre Boivin says the fans shouldn't worry during the ownership transition. Too late.
  

Let's talk draft. First off, welcome out of town bloggers! We have rumours of hordes of them descending on our fair city for the strip clubs. I think Wrap is drunk already. A reminder that yours truly and HF4 will be attending the draft (allegedly - we still haven't seen the tickets, and HF4 may be dead as usual) to get drunk, and uh, get drunk. Finally, Panger has promised some sort of draft preview before the shindig so be sure to check it out.

Bonne fête nationale, 'stie

Fuck politics, fuck language, fuck Québecor one last time. In this province, the only thing that matters is the Habs. Well, unless you're an old Nordiques fan.

Enjoy the holiday, my fellow Québecois. Maybe this is the day Vinny will come.

Kirk Muller loses cellphone, continues as Habs assistant coach

(Québecor Wire Services) - Habs Assistant Coach Kirk Muller reported losing his cellphone late last week. Reached in person at his off-season home in Kingston, Muller was visibly distraught at the loss of his iPhone. He said "it was brand new, and I hadn't backed up my contacts yet. All that time wasted."

Muller was nervous and shaking as he described his lack of communication. "No one can get in touch with me. Who has a landline anymore? Do you think I missed any important calls?"

When informed about the firings of Hamilton head coach Don Lever and Habs assistant Doug Jarvis, Muller said "that's hockey. I'll miss them, but life goes on. Now where the fuck did I put that phone?"

Better Know a Molson Brother: Geoffrey

Geoffrey (right) with wife Kate and Habs Prez Pierre Boivin.

Welcome our new swill-producing overlords! In an effort to get to know the Habs new owners (pending league approval), FHF is pleased to present our three-part series Better Know a Molson Brother. Today: Geoffrey.

Name: Geoffrey E. Molson, aka "Geoff" aka "the good-looking brother." You'll know why when you see photos of the other two.

Current Molson position: Vice-President Marketing of Molson Canada and member of the Board of Directors of Molson Coors. Also serves as Molson Coors' rep on the Habs' Board.

Favourite Molson product: Heineken. This guy is class. Think he's drinking any actual Molson crap?

Family line: Great great great great grandson of Molson Breweries founder John Molson.

Bio: At age 38, Geoff has done more than you. He played hockey at St Lawrence University and went on to get his MBA from the Babson School of Business. He then worked at Coca-Cola and CSC Consulting before being forced at gunpoint to join the family business in 1999. He has climbed the ranks, working as a director and in several Vice-President positions. There was no nepotism involved. He is active with numerous charities including St Mary's Hospital. He has four kids.

Fun facts: His wife is from Boston, thus destroying the old hockey axiom not to date within the division. Loves puppies and the History Channel. Once got drunk at a charity function (on 30-year old scotch) and jumped on the bar screaming "Sig heil, Herr Coors!" Would appreciate the humour in this paragraph because he can bring the funny himself: