I have been saving this stripper six-pack for a special occasion. The game where we needed all the help we could get. Well, that game is now. Win or go home. Do or die. Backs against the wall. My god, I've become a cliché-ridden sportswriter. Fuck that shit. You know we just gotta play 'em one game at a time, and the good Lord willing, things will work out. Wait, what?
Waiting in line details - 7 PM, bla bla bla.
Really nice Flyers fans who would never do stupid shit - The fine bloggers of Flyers. Femme, eager to go psycho, Flyers Goal Scored By, and Cuseadelphia.
Hot sexy Habs to watch - hmmm, hmmm, uh, Koivu is working hard. The blonde who sits behind Carbo.
Hot sexy Flyers to watch - all of 'em, with Marty Biron and Danny Brière at the top of the list. We're losing 3-1, in case you didn't notice.
Skanky Habs to watch - a long list, but my focus is on Kovalev. Where the fuck has he been this series since a decent Game 1? The only time I've heard his name is in relation to the phrase "loses the puck." By extension, the Habs PP blows;
Tragically, Cedric Desjardins injured his groin (at Club Downtown) and won't play - Price gets the start. Can he earn back the TFS(tm) tag?
Carbo tries to coach, simply reverts back to old form - besides the always big move of pulling a tie off a tie rack, Carbo comes up with these lines for tonight - the old Danse à Dix Line, the old SlowGreekBang line, Koivu-Higgins-Little Tits, and the rest (SwissLaLa). Man, I am going to be pissed when Ryder pots 40 for some Southern team next year.
Stupid factoids of the week that may only interest Peter King - Habs have only "led" a game in this series once, when we scored in OT of Game 1. The last NHL team to come back from a 3-1 deficit was in fact the Habs in 2004 against Boston. The double-shot non-fat latté at the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport Starbucks is terrible.
Post-game adult entertainment establishment - if the Habs are eliminated, we're going on a drunken meth-fueled rampage through the strip clubs of Montreal like you wouldn't believe. Be sure to catch the arrest and arraignment on your late local news.
Maybe for the last time, let's hear your dirty, dirty thoughts in the comments.
Waiting in line details - 7 PM, bla bla bla.
Really nice Flyers fans who would never do stupid shit - The fine bloggers of Flyers. Femme, eager to go psycho, Flyers Goal Scored By, and Cuseadelphia.
Hot sexy Habs to watch - hmmm, hmmm, uh, Koivu is working hard. The blonde who sits behind Carbo.
Hot sexy Flyers to watch - all of 'em, with Marty Biron and Danny Brière at the top of the list. We're losing 3-1, in case you didn't notice.
Skanky Habs to watch - a long list, but my focus is on Kovalev. Where the fuck has he been this series since a decent Game 1? The only time I've heard his name is in relation to the phrase "loses the puck." By extension, the Habs PP blows;
Tragically, Cedric Desjardins injured his groin (at Club Downtown) and won't play - Price gets the start. Can he earn back the TFS(tm) tag?
Carbo tries to coach, simply reverts back to old form - besides the always big move of pulling a tie off a tie rack, Carbo comes up with these lines for tonight - the old Danse à Dix Line, the old SlowGreekBang line, Koivu-Higgins-Little Tits, and the rest (SwissLaLa). Man, I am going to be pissed when Ryder pots 40 for some Southern team next year.
Stupid factoids of the week that may only interest Peter King - Habs have only "led" a game in this series once, when we scored in OT of Game 1. The last NHL team to come back from a 3-1 deficit was in fact the Habs in 2004 against Boston. The double-shot non-fat latté at the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport Starbucks is terrible.
Post-game adult entertainment establishment - if the Habs are eliminated, we're going on a drunken meth-fueled rampage through the strip clubs of Montreal like you wouldn't believe. Be sure to catch the arrest and arraignment on your late local news.
Maybe for the last time, let's hear your dirty, dirty thoughts in the comments.
184 comments:
As much as I want a steak and a bj after a win tonight, I hope the Habs don't blow this series and get summarily blown thereby leading to an ass bounding by the media humpers. I am watching the game sans culottes ce soir.
that comment doesn't blow moeman. this weather sucks. Habs are fucked tonight. i'm screwed without my meth
29, Point of order: Scoring in OT doesn't actually constitute a 'lead', does it? As soon as the puck crosses the line, the game is over. Therefore, the actual number of seconds that the Habs have been in the lead this series is:
0.
Despite foreplay being lotsa anxious fun the Habs have got to go straight to the action shots and score. I don't care if its a messy goal through the five hole. I also expect them to reload and go hard again and yes the cheap hookering Flyers will go down.
Worked like crazy today (if I was a butcher I woulda typed 'I pounded meat all day', so tonight I'm enjoying the company of three delightful and tasty refreshments; Hoegaarden, Artois and a nice Belgian Blonde. ScooCH over Leffe and hold the camera steady Stella.
@fez. hmm i think that's a valid point. I have edited the post to put quotes around "led". either way, that stat blows
alright 2 hours before game time seems like the perfect time to start drinking
considering the situation we are in... 2 hours before game time seems like the perfect time to pass out drunk
If you do wind up going on a rampage for the ages, make sure that you keep control of the book and movie rights.
But I hope it will be entirely unnecessary tonight, because the Canadiens will win and send the series to a game six.
Montreal: Please, guys. Don't shoot right at the goaltender and make him look like a Vezina winner. I've seen enough of that crap from the Red Wings in the playoffs a few years ago, and it makes your fans depressed and drug-addled. Make him move and shoot around the goaltender if he won't get out of the way!
We dominated them all year, we have outplayed them in the series.. If there ever was a team well positioned to come back from 3-1 this is it. Faith. And meth, freebase stylez.
is this game over yet?
Off go the pants.
god I hate PJ Stock
Y'all ready for this?
*dance music plays*
@offspace: Join the club. We're always looking for new members.
Members? Is there a satin jacket?
@all members of the PJ Stock haters club - our first annual meeting takes place during the 2nd intermission. BYOB
the meth is helping ease the pain of this painful Metallica cover on CBC
hey, it was Bif Naked? I may re-evaluate. i've got a thing for her
@moeman: Indeed there are, as well as specialised PJ Stock dartboards with ground-to-air missiles as darts.
About tonight, I actually have a good feeling. I BELIEVE. Carbo has his tie ready, how can we lose?
Seriously though, I think that we'll be going back to Philly for game 6.
God I hate Cherry more, can't find any RDS, have to watch Verus over the net. Can't RDS at least have an english login so I can pay for what I what. Go Pants Go!
That pj dartboard better be oversized (like his head) cuz da beer she is being swilled.
stop with the anthem booing dickwads
Does BYOB = Bring Your Own Brain?
Because it sounds like PJ forgot his. :)
Why do we even sing anthems before athletic competitions, anyway? We don't sing them before movies or theatre performances or religious services or anything. I wonder where the habit started?
Here we go....
this is it kids! let's enjoy these final moments
At least we can laugh at Cherry's ramblings, especially when Ron McLean starts giving him "WTF" looks. Stock doesn't even have that, the gimp.
PS: I'm going to say it now, I like Bob Cole. Pity he's getting on, it;s definitely showing. :-(
In pj's case its Bring Your Own Bib.
PJ or Cherry have brains. Cherry can't count can he, five or sex players?
RDS baby!
Nno cherry, no cole, no millen, no pants.
I just hope Cherry doesn't disappoint in the wardrobe department - usually I have to call my mom and tell her to turn on CBC so she can see what eyesore he decided to inflict on the viewing public, but last game I saw he just had on a black and white windowpane plaid. Boring!
Oddly enough, PJ was the name of the contractor who broke up my uncle's marriage by having an affair with his then-wife.
decline!
lucky to anything more than cjad over the net in germany here, at least the beer is cold and good. PP Goal for Habs! Come on Boys!
Breezerpalooza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
breezer!!
Je t'aime, Breezer.
"Canadiens get a power play goal."
I don't understand that at all - what language is that in?
Tipped by Pleks the Penetrator!
Je t'aime, Breezer.
Breezermania!
Je t'aime, Breezer.
NTTIAWWT!
@offspace: I'm in the same boat re: streaming. Thank God for the Versus & CJAD streams, allows me to watch the Habs in Ireland, something I didn't think I'm be able to do when I moved back here from Montreal last September.
@moeman: NTTIAWWT. Zuh?
Where are we all posting from?
Moi = Gatineau
@rips it - Not That Theres Anything Wrong With That. though when you write it three times...
@moeman - Downtown Mtl. 6 blocks from the Bell Centre
I'm in Michigan.
Rooting for a Detroit - Montreal Original Six Stanley Cup Final - come on, boys, your turn to win a series now.
another fucking post
I was against increasing the size of the goal.......until this series, that is.
Post #1 tonight. *sigh*
Another post. Jeez...
From Seoul here.
kassel, germany
higgins is so snake-pitted
baroque knows, DET v. MTL would be fun. The NHLs two classiest teams. Original 6. No West coast time zone to keep us up late at night. Two European Captains to keep don cherry up at night.
breezerpalooza in reverse, again. eesh.
@hf29: F**king Blogger told me that it hadn't been posted! Dang technology! Thanks for letting mew know what the abbreviation means, btw.
@moeman: I'm Irish born and bred, from Co. Sligo in the north west. I lived in Montreal between 2005 & 2007 before moving back to finish college.
These breaks are killing us......couldn't fault Price there. Damn Umberger.
Can one bounce go our way? Just one?
yeeeesssss!!!
Laps!
The PERFECT response!!!
And as I type that...
go pants go!!
i cant type fast enough
Originally from the Kitchener area, moved to Ottawa in 1979. Habs fan since 1968.
hi there. Trying to follow the game from France.
(but this versus feed is shitty as hell)
can't we catch a break?
That was a stupid hook.
@grrrreg: it was a bit choppy for me at first but it's been smooth here for quite a while now.
i cant enjoy anything for 2 minutes
Finaly going to the net, baby.
@hf29: "i cant enjoy anything for 2 minutes"
There's an obvious joke here but I'm too classy to say it. :-p
quite a period
Good 20 minutes. Need a Better 2nd and save the Best for the 3rd.
Love how the Habs are playing. Throw it on net, crash the goalie. The result: an ugly goal off Kovy's skate. Not to mention Pleks' first tip in. You don't need them all pretty, boys. Just get 'em in.
sheesh....who knew all it took was going to the net to make Marty look so bad?
A nice baroque suit jacket.
verus is just as bad as cbc.
@rips it - heh
so to sum up - Montreal, Gatineau, Michigan, Ireland, France, Germany, South Korea, and somewhere Jeff in Hong Kong does coke. that says something i guess. won't mean shit when we lose the series eventually
and Kirstin in Philly woo! finally Habs go to the net. fucking miracle
Detroit - Montreal:
All one timezone, no history of goonery, two skating Original Six teams, and best of all...
Captains from Finland and Sweden, so whoever wins, Cherry's head would explode - and that might be as ugly as that floral LSD nightmare he is wearing.
Plus the bloggers could avoid wasting time arguing about which fans are more neurotic and get right down to fretting about which team is going to collapse first. :)
heh @ hf29
Habs can and will make the comeback.
Also, original hometown Kitchener Rangers and new hometown Gatineau Olympiques are playing the good hock-hock.
Next goal is keerooshal.
HF29: See, I'm telling you...Washington Capitals, 'kay?
We have to do things the hard way. Though it is nice to see our resident former-Pittsburgher still finding his way onto the board on a completely regular basis.
@nadine: Question - What's the deal behind Philly's "Vengeance" playoff theme?
@Nadine - yeah, thx, I appreciate the thought. but you will still win eventually
@Rips it...
It's not our playoff theme. It was this season's theme. Y'know, since we spent last season as a permanent vacation in the league basement.
I, personally, HATE it.
There's that 3rd goal baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@HF29: Dude, it's my night to be pessimistic and yours to be happy.
Higgins? Who is this Higgins you speak of? I haven't heard of him.
See, Biron really isn't that good.
FINALLY Biron exposed a little at least
"Vengeance" does seem like a pretty odd theme - it isn't as though the rest of the teams got together and planned for the Flyers to be horrible.
Still, I wonder if it is possible to come up with a theme for a season or playoffs that isn't lame. I haven't heard of one yet for any team that doesn't have some level of stink.
Big PK here after taking a two goal lead.
Yes!!! Now keep us the intensity guys. Don't let them have a second to settle down.
Komisarek elbow.....ugh.
again i'll say it (with no sexual innuendo), i cant enjoy anything for 2 minutes!
Cheers Nadine.
5 on 3......pretty horrible call.
That's the silliest penalty call I've ever seen. But it'll be huge when they kill this off.
hf29, there's your 2 minutes of pleasure!
@Rips it - you win the "best use of the clickable link" so far
GO HABS GO! That's it kids, be loud, be proud. Lord, I miss Montreal.
That goal.......
wat?
man this is taking forever
Black puck, black glove, maybe slight deflection...that's tough to see.
Can't complain tbh. All came from Price not controlling the glove save after he gave up the rebound immediately before that.
meh, not inconclusive, enough. Cube should've punched richards in the head.
If I hear any more complaints about the officiating from Phlyer Phans or Philly media, I will implode. Not saying either way, but there is obviously no specific love for Montreal.
YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME
(and those all caps were no mistake)
How can Price not have that post covered. How does the D let that happen to begin with?
Captain Jean Luc Picard's thoughts on the last five minutes.
unbefuckinglievable
Ha-lak! Ha-lak!
Stop the bleeding. Unbelievable.
Bye bye baby, baby goodbye....
So, they ruled Richards didn't touch the puck with his glove, but he's credited with the goal?
Uh-huh.
mind boggling
And why someone didn't poison Umberger during intermission I can't figure out.
20 minutes and we're out of our misery
Price hasn't been stellar but the D has collapsed. 20-12 SOGs after taking a 3-1 lead?
what the hell is going on?
Hi folks, was only watching, trying not to post (since early in the year I noticed when I posted during the game the Habs seemed to lose ... well , like it fucking matters now!)
I can't believe they are getting killed by RJ FUCKING UMBERGER. I can't believe how much of a fucking train wreck that last ten minutes was. Price should have had all three of those, but none of them should have fucking happened.
Based on that period, they deserve to go home, and frankly, I hope they do. I'm that pissed. That period was A FUCKING ABOMINATION. Sorry, folks, but fuck them. I love them, but I'm FUCKING DISGUSTED.
FUCK! FUCKING FUCKING FUCKITY FUCK!!!
Wow, what a weird period. Higgins finally scores, they kill a 3 on 5, and then this...
Umberger is possessed. It's just so fucking annoying to know that he'll return to his mediocre player status just after this series is over.
10 don't hold back say what you really feel
Does Price have gambling debts? A drug problem? Do the Flyers have pics of him in compromising positions with little boys? Do the Flyers have the answers to all of these problems? It looks like he wants to lose.
No free pass for the rest of the team, but there's no question that Price should have had all three of those. And almost all of the other ones from the other games.
I expect Montreal ties it, only to give it up within the last 3 minutes.
Hey, remember when RJ Umberger was most famous for being comatose on YouTube? I miss those days.
Seriously, though, if Brian Campbell can give this guy brain damage, how hard can it be? Brian Campbell is not exactly Scott Stevens. I think DOOM needs to give the guy another brain omelette. Preferably a week ago.
Oh, and I'm watching from Ottawa, trying to make myself feel better with the knowledge that the Sens have been golfing for weeks. It ain't working, though. I'm drinking to forget at this point.
It's like that second Flyers goal went in and they started playing with all the coordination of some of the less disciplined species of poo-flinging primates.
They still had a one-goal lead and could have just collected themselves, kept playing the way they were before instead of RESUMING SHOOTING THE PUCK DIRECTLY AT THE GOALTENDER'S CHEST WITH NO SCREEN, instead of falling apart like cheap toilet paper in a rainstorm.
Damn it to hell.
Pants. Go hockey.
Sorry, just doing that for the last time.
Fuck. Shite. Schieze. Tabarnak.
Price starts the third period.
......yay?
Alright, I'm fine now.
Fucking Biron.
Go hockey?
18 minutes to go.
WoW!
Is Andrei the older or younger Tits?
Not.
Dead.
Yet.
Nice goal but it's difficult to feel excited, knowing how the Habs are playing in their own zone.
And the countdown is on until they blow this. 5...4...3...2...
... and here I was about to put my pants back on.
they're such a tease. it won't last
AK46 is older than the younger, firmer sometime more uplifted Tits.
Philly looks dangerous every time they cross the half-way line.
rips knows, as soon as the puck is in the Habs zone its freakin' horrible.
DON'T sing the ole song, Habs fans! Damn your eyes!
Hey, who put the Red Bull in Plek's water bottle tonight? He looks much better.
And I was going to mention this way earlier, but Little Tits needs to fucking shoot more. He's passing up shots in the slot to feed Frankie B??
Our boys look like the Habs of 2006. Playing scared.
I swear, I'm going to cross the border sans passport, go to Montreal, and kick the first male Habs fan I see in the nuts for singing ole too soon during the entire series.
The Habs defence is scarily weak.
On a lighter note, the name of the goalie for my local soccer team is Richard (Dick) Brush. Just putting that out there.
ah the first RDS "if game 6 is necessary" promos for tomorrow. no jinx there
Wow @ Price!
The Montreal defense should be rated "not suitable for viewing by children or those with weak stomachs."
Good lord, Montreal power play.
Habs PP. How many breakaways will the Phlyers have on it? I say 2.
Great stop by Price, btw.
The poster "r" above is me. Stupid Blogger.
first time ive heard Gui!'s name in 3 games i think
Post #2 of the night.
Wow another post. I'm shocked. Really.
I remember when a Habs PP actually meant something.
Sigh.
Ryder would have buried it!
Habs have hit the goal frame 8 times this series, according to Versus.
Gurgle.
3:04 left in the Hab's season, boys and girls.
FUCK
I'd like to draw everyone's attention to my post above saying Habs will tie it but blow it with 3 minutes left. I was 4 seconds off. Close enough.
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKES. Put us out of our fucking misery.
They still have a chance - as long as they don't get any power plays, anyway.
Time to shave my beard.
Ah, who am I kidding. They aren't playing well enough defensively at all.
Poop.
Poop.
Poop.
well it's been fun kids
I hope Carbo burns that fucking tie.
It's not that they lost. It's how they lost.
Price is the future of this franchise?
See ya next year.
It;s been a good season overall, folks. BIG off season coming up.
Great regular season and hopefully lessons learned in the playoffs.
The Flyers are not a likeable team so no kudos from this Habs/hockey fan.
Go Pens. Go Sid. Go Wings. Go hockey.
Bonsoir mes ami(e)s Bonsoir.
the Flyers may not be so likable but good luck to Nadine and Kirstin
alright i need an NBA team to root for now
@orangeman: Exactly. How they lost hurts more than the fact that they lost.
Great season, all. Thanks for hanging out with us, and keep stopping by all summer!
Trudat hf29, no disrespect to the fans, hopefully none taken.
Sour end to a sweet season.
Here's hoping the 100th is an even better one.
Giving up a 3-1 lead in a must win game in the playoffs.....horrible.
Still, great strides have been made this season. There is clearly a lot of work to do before this team can become a real contender but let's not forget what most of our thoughts and hopes were back in September.
Disappointed? Yes. Hopeful? Definitely.
Peace out, y'all.
heavy sigh
The hazards of cheering for more than one team are that you risk twice as much anguish.
Well, at least I can still cheer on Detroit against whichever southern heathen wins the San Jose - Dallas series. There are still plenty of seats on the Stress Train at least.
Oh, and congratulations to Philadelphia. Best of luck for the rest of the playoffs.
It hurts, but honestly habs did not deserve to win this series.
Getting the first place in the eastern conference bossted everyone's expectations for the playoffs, so of course it's fucking disappointing, but we must not forget what they've accomplished, and the promises we've seen this season.
good night.
I want to puke. Up 3-1, then give up three shit goals.
I've never seen a team get so many lucky bounces in one seris as the Flyers, christ, what a nightmare.
Great season all things considered, but we need to get a 2-3 new wingers, some puck moving D and some size.
Hope Price learns how to use his glove in the off-season.
@Rips it - your Trek photos have kept my spirits up. Ke-plah
just an unpleasant end though. that's annoying
let the Cedric Desjardins era begin!
@hf29: Sweet Star Trek eases the pain.
Let's see what Monsieur Gainey et al have planned for the next five months. Fine months.... :-(
Good season kids. Now if you can all concetrate your positive energy on the Pens, so that we can ensure that there is no Cup in Ribeiro's future.
Go with the lesser evil is my motto now.
I go shave now. Its been an amazing season. The Tits, Kovy back on top, Baby Jesus Price...
Thank you guys for feeding us all wit ur amazing blog.
Hopeful for the future. Lets hope Big Tits doesnt go back to Russia...
Drink. Trink. Go pants.
so i actually got to watch this game today (hockey in HD is amazing). i was certain that the flyers were gonna lose when they went down 3-1, but as soon as that richards goal went in, i could tell price was losing his confidence again... he should have stopped all three of those goals in the second period, they weren't anything special... umberger's first goal was so pretty though... now i just gotta hope that the habs were better than the penguins.
also- i gotta give credit to the habs fans. they didn't leave the building when upshall scored with 3 minutes left, and they cheered their team off the ice instead of booing and chucking things at the flyers. after the fake fans in washington reacted that way, it was nice to see the habs fans behave a bit better.
@k-mart: yeah, it was nice to see Carter not got hit with shit during the postgame interview.
I'm still really too stunned to say much more. I was looking forward to games 6 and 7...
I have money on San Jose to win the cup (I also had money on the Habs and we all know how that turned out). If (when) they are eliminated, I'm rooting for the Pens, if only because I know one Red Wings fan and he's an enormous douche.
@kristin
i just had the sinking feeling that we were going to lose the series if we didnt win tonight. but it looked like they really wanted it tonight. stat of the night: shots on goal- habs 35, flyers 37. i think that's the first time since game 5 of the previous series that they've outshot the opponent
@rips
trust me, pens fans are bigger douches.
@k-mart: A Flyers fan that says Pens fans are douches, shocking. :-p
Seriously though, I'll support anyone who plays Detroit, whether it's the Flyers or the Pens. I think the Pens will have a better chance if they get through.
Congrats again. It's been a great season for you guys.
Price sounds choked up on CJAD.
I'm getting fucking hammered right now, so I just thought I'd type my thanks to you guys for a great blog before I can't see the keyboard anymore.
Much as it pains me, now I want the my B (and local) team Rangers to tank it tomorrow so the Pens are rested enough to wipe out the Flyers quick. The couple of Pens fans I know are nice guys so I won't feel bad about that.
Fuck RJ Umberger for becoming the second coming of John Druce. And fuck John Druce wherever he is.
Well, fuck.
That is all.
Et tu, Boreanaz?
From nhl.com
Oh well. It's been a fun ride. And it's only the end of Year 1 of the FHF era. Go hockey, long dead the king, and may the pants be with you.
Your entire fanbase boos a player every time he touches the puck because he didn't sign with your team. HES NOT EVEN FROM MONTREAL, hes from Gatineau, and still Canadiens fans act like a five year old in the toy store after they didn't get what they want. Anyways, stop crying, go set some police cars on fire and hit the links, YOUR DONE!
The collapse is complete. Can't believe they were up 3-1 tonight and lost, just brutal.
Funny to see a Flyers fan make fun of Habs fans for booing. I have seen Flyers fans boo their own team when they were up 4-1 and weren't trying hard enough....
Anyways, fuck..........
"Your entire fanbase boos a player every time he touches the puck because he didn't sign with your team. HES NOT EVEN FROM MONTREAL, hes from Gatineau, and still Canadiens fans act like a five year old in the toy store after they didn't get what they want. Anyways, stop crying, go set some police cars on fire and hit the links, YOUR DONE!"
+ 1$, to make sure this jackass never makes it on stage.
Found your blog through The Gazette's "Habs inside and out" section and absolutely love it. I live in the belly of the beast (a/k/a just outside Philadelphia), but am originally from Montreal and remain a diehard Habs fan. The abuse I am taking right now is unbelievable; as I am finding out the hard way, the only thing worse than a sore loser is a sore winner, and I am coming across more than my share of those.
BTW, I have added you to my blogroll. Here's to next season, and hopefully a more seasoned Carey Price and the addition of some more grit (PLEASE!!!) on the forward lines will make the centennial anniversary of the team one to remember in a positive sense!
BHG
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