We have signings!

Okily-dokily.

After losing the Jagr and Talbot sweepstakes to the PHucktards (I thought that was illegal in Pennsylvania), Habs have replaced Alex Auld with Peter Budaj. Stupid sexy Flanders.

~ ~ ~

"Does Eric Cole have anything left in the tank? At least it'd keep him from scoring against the Habs." ~ HF33 Let's hope there's gas and its high-octane. Needs a nickname, 'Tank', 'Pump', ...?

~ ~ ~

Oh Via Rail, you do amuse me (in soul-crushing fashion)

We'll possibly get around to reviewing the game soon. Possibly not. We're kinda depressed here at FHF headquarters. But about an hour ago I received this awesome email from Via Rail, which I thought I'd share:

Dear Mr. HF29,

Don't let your travel plans get in the way of your love for hockey!

If you're planning on travelling between Toronto and Montréal in the coming weeks, just board Train 66 or 67 in VIA 1 class and you'll have exclusive access to the VIA 1 Lounge Car. The Lounge Car’s 42" flat screen HDTV will feature all the action of the Stanley Cup playoffs-so you won't miss out on anything. Cheer on your favourite team while travelling in style!

Book today! May the best team win!

They know me so well. Toronto here I come!

D'oh! It's a Sens Game Preview and Open Thread

Your cycle slut of the month is Marge Simpson. Her turn-ons include thievery and liquor. Her turns-offs include underpants, pedestrians, and justice. Miss Simpson, I think I killed my pencil...

In honour / tribute / theft of our internet BFF and master of Simpsons references SLC of Five for Smiting, we're hitting the Simpsons quotes for your preview.

The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore - The action goes down at 7 PM at the arena in Kanata. It's on the CBC, let's just hope there's no Bob Cole involved. Habs have won both matchups this year. Sens are 22 points behind the Habs in the standings. I think that last happened in 1912. I'll stop with the mocking though, 'cause Sens have won two in a row and are showing signs of life. This game has trap written all over it.

I like my beer cold, my coffee hot, and my homosexuals flaming - Titty Titty Gang Bang has amassed 25 points over the last six games. Markov has a five-game point streak.

I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missourah - Meh, everyone's playing pretty well I guess, no real Zombies.

Could God microwave a burrito so hot that He Himself could not eat it? - Alfie, Heater, Spezza, yada yada. And the Sens are now riding the hot rookie goaltending of franchise saviour Brian Elliott over the two game win streak.

I wonder where Bart is, his dinner's getting all cold, and eaten - Brian Elliott's surge has come because Alex Auld is Alex Auld, and Martin Gerber was sent to the AHL for "conditioning".

Silly customer, you cannot hurt a Twinkie - But you can hurt half the Habs lineup. The list hasn't changed, though TFS is apparently itching to play and may yet make the ASG. The Sens are missing Volchenkov and Cody Bass.

The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them -- as is my understanding - for some post-game adult entertainment, please enjoy (or be totally freaked out by) this Simpson porn. It's amazing what's on the intertubes.

The sooner commentors talk, the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word. Kidding!

No TV and No Blogging Make HF29 Something Something

"Go crazy?" "Don't mind if I do!!!"

Who's fucking tired of me blogging how there is nothing to blog about? Yeah, me too.

There is some report about Mats saying "I think sometime in August I hope to come to a conclusion on what I'm going to do," but since we're sick of Mats we won't even mention it.

The FHF Salute The Simpsons

As you may have heard, The Simpsons Movie opens today. Woohoo! The FHF are huge fans of The Simpsons, and thought we should spend a moment giving tribute to The Simpsons' love of hockey.

Hockey appears quite often in the Simpsons. Of course, the classic is the Lisa vs. Bart hockey episode which the above video highlights. So many moments in that episode, I could barely list them all, so I'll just quote my favourite line from the ep - "I want to see you both fighting for your parents' love. Fight! Fight! Fight!" I love Homer.

But hockey has appeared in other eps too. How about this appearance by a Kozlov, maybe Slava, maybe Viktor, maybe an un-named Kozlov:

Or this classic, Bart and Milhouse playing the "Hockey Dad" video game:

I would make jokes, but we can't compete with the masters of ironic, sardonic, juvenile, mature, witty, brilliant humour like Matt Groening et al. Enjoy the movie kids.