Little People Have Done Us Well - Pens/Habs Game 7 Preview and Open Thread

Well we don't expect this to be the most productive day in our lives.

We don't even know how to set this up. Game 7 is its own set up.

Whatever happens, we'll write about our deep appreciation for what these Habs have given us over the last month.

Amazingly, Montreal plays its 14th playoff game in 28 days. It's been relentless.

Today, soak it all up folks. Enjoy it, see past your nerves. Whistle while you work....

Not you, refs.

Let's do this.

Where: Pittsburgh, Mellon Arena.

No, I mean, where on TV?: CBC, RDS, some pirated feed off the internet, at the Bell Centre on the Big screen. Probably at Future Shop, on every screen.

Time: 7 p.m., Mellon time.

Best John Cougar Melloncamp song: Jack and Diane or Hurts so Good, take your pick.

Who's a good hockey player: It's Game 7 people, both teams are a win away from the Final 4. I would say everybody's doing something right.

Not you: Sergei Kostitsyn

Sleepy Dwarf....shall remain nameless for fear of undoing jinxage.

Adult entertainment: Recharging your pacemakers. It's game fucking 7.

Please, please boys, win.

Habs just won't go away - Habs 4, Pens 3

"The Canadiens are the cockroaches in Gary Bettman's basement"

-Habsfan10, in a post-game email last night

While I am not sure the Habs could survive a nuclear blast like your average cockroach (well, maybe Gill could), this metaphor is apt. Apt, I tell you! Put on your tinfoil hats for a second, kids. Bettman wants no part of the Habs beating his beloved Sid. He wanted no part of the Habs beating his beloved international superduperstar. Well, fuck him. The Habs are scurrying around in his basement refusing to go away. Sure, when the lights get turned on they go running back to the shadows, but they're always there. They just won't be exterminated, and hopefully it's pissing Bettman off. Good. Let's take a look at some of the insects from last night:

The queen bee - Squid. Who remembers when he couldn't find his scoring touch after he came back from injury? Me neither. Two more last night, giving him 11 for the playoffs, the league leader. He's scored almost half the Habs goals in this series. Normally, that can be cause for concern, but not in this case. He can score 100% of our goals for all I care. And I just love his attitude after he scores. Tiny little fist pump, then quickly acknowledge the passer. It's like "yeah, I scored, that's what I'm supposed to do. Now let's get back to work."

The worker bees - Pleks and Big Tits supporting Squid. Pleks' work in the faceoff circle (16 of 21) was a huge key to the game. And Tits had two excellent passes to get assists on both Squid goals.

The worker ant - PK Fucking Subban. Jesus Fucking Christ he's getting better. He's getting more comfortable. Last night, he led all players with 29:11 of ice time. That included 4:32 on the PP and 5:37 on the PK. AND on the ice for the final minute as the Habs nursed that one goal lead. Defensive liability my ass. I saw him hound Sid down low for a good 15 seconds at one point, not giving him anywhere to go. He was +2 for the night. I'm imagining a Vodkov-Subban pairing next year tearing up the league, and it's making me moist.

Larvae in a cocoon - CHicken and Métro have not been heard from in a while. Maybe one of them will emerge a butterfly in Game 7. Alternatively, Little Tits could sit on the bench as well as either of them.

The pest you love to have on your own team - Mad Max. He still does some stupid things sometimes, but dammit he's playing the pest card well. And last night he added a highlight-reel goal. And besides being pest-y, he and his linemates (Dominitrix and Pyatt) just keep working and working. Third line heroics are always a playoff key. We're getting them.

The pest you want to crush with your foot, really squish him into the ground to make sure he never gets up - Sidney Crybaby. I don't give a fuck what Pens fan shows up around here and whines (like their hero) that "you're just jealous" or "Sid complains only because he is constantly taking abuse and not getting calls." STFU, Pens fan. Admit Sid is a whiny little bitch. Watch him yap at the refs at the end of every period. Watch him cross-check Pleks for no reason after the game is over. And then yap at Gorges, and then at the refs even more! That is not captain behaviour.

See you for Game 7. By the end, may the cockroaches be in Bettman's kitchen.

Not What We Had In Mind: Game 5 Review Pens 2 -Habs 1

Ok, what now.

Habs play 3 even periods. No crazy shot totals in one direction or the other. They actually out chance the Pens, but no finish. The Pens played a solid game 5 and did what they had to do. But you would have expected a furious storming out of the gates. That never happened. The whole game was played at this even, steady pace.

Opportunism won this one with Pittsburgh managing to solve Halak with 2 screened shots from the point. He was excellent again throughout the game as was Fleury.

Hal Gill may become the next addition to the Habs now just ridiculous list of injuries this season. His leg was sliced in half with everything under the knee laying severed on the ice, while Gill skated away on one leg with a blood spraying stump. Our shot-blocking monster may now be gone and that makes Game 6 all the more daunting.

There's nothing to suggest the Habs can't win at home tomorrow to force a deciding game. Problem is there's also nothing to suggest the Pens can't end it at the Bell Centre either.

We're thinking Cinderella's in a bit of a bind here.

Whoever Makes More "History Will be Made" Videos Will Win Tonight: Habs-Pens Game 5 Preview and Open Thread

We're gonna need some more of this, Cammy

It's the Battle of the rivers: Three Rivers vs. St-Laurent. By name, you would think it's a mismatch because poor little St-Laurent has to take on 3 rivers, which is really unfair.

From the looks of the picture above, Montreal's introduction into MLS in 2012 could not come at a better time. Cammalleri already has a name that could well precede "GOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL!!!!! CAMMALLLLLLLERRRRRI GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAL!!!!!"

But it's going to take more than River fights and soccer (but football)/hockey goals. It's going to take a better second period. I don't know, maybe it doesn't...The Habs have taken 3 shots in 5 second periods during these playoffs. They've won 4 of those games. Expect Montreal to play the typical road game which means that 3 shots in a period may even be a generous standard.

Markov has made the trip. Which of course means that he just enjoys Air Canada dinners. "I love the food. I love the foil packaging, makes me feel like I can take my time to eat and the food will always be warm. I love the little TV on the back of the chair. This is cool. I want to install TVs on the back of our pillows at home. I love the little movies about the city you gonna visit. This really prepares me for my visit. That's why I make the trip."

Game 5. It sets up Game 6, the game where a team is necessarily trying to stave off elimination. It's going to be a furious battle and expect Pittsburgh to roar through this one because they know how trapped they could be down 3-2 in Game 6 on the road with a hot goaltender in their way.

Now it's time.

When: 7 p.m. EST

Where: Mellon Arena in Pittsburgh.

Gino Crosby attack coming soon? Jaro be warned, these boys have been under the radar for too long in this series.

Andrei K attack coming soon? No.

More footie in you Cammy? Better not be intentional footie cause the refs will waive that shit off.

More bear hugging moves to pull down our young phenom at his blue line to ride in clear for a breakaway goal you cataract fucking poster child refs??!!!?!?!?!? Cue Friday the 13th music. Chi chi chi chi, che che che che......

Adult entertainment: S&M with your partner involving steel (God no, not Penguins).

What does it take for a win tonight folks. Kindly respond by leaving a comment and we'll comment right back.