Habs Re-Sign Mad Max; Sidney Crosby Curses Under Breath

Reports out of Montreal are that Bob has made his first move of the summer, re-signing our favourite French shit-disturber Mad Max to a two-year deal. Sidney Crosby can already hear Max yammering at him as they skate down the ice, and he isn't pleased that Max's stick is being shoved there at all.

Two Days Later: Deep Thoughts on the Deadline

OK, so we didn't land Marian Hossa and we got rid of HueT for a song. Now that the screams have died down, the instant reactions are over, and we've played a game, it's time to take a deep breath and coherently analyse what Bob did and didn't do.

Facts:

• With Sundin, Tanguay, and possibly Jokinen off the trade market, supply of snipers was severely limited, driving up the price for Hossa dramatically (Econ 101 comes in handy!);
• Don "don't blow your" Wadell refused to let teams discuss long-term contracts with Hossa, who will be a UFA over the summer;
• This last fact pretty much assured Hossa was just a rental;
• Seriously, do we believe we can win the Cup this year, even with Hossa?

Add all this up, and I have no problem at all not landing Hossa. Well done, Bob, in You We Trust.

Now, HueT. I understand that he was going to be a UFA. I understand that you are ready to give TFS(tm) the reigns. But a second rounder? For a (possibly) Top 10 goalie? Just seems like you could have done a little better there. Like maybe a 3rd rounder and a journeyman veteran (a useful one, not another Slowinski).

That's it. Just some calm, rational analysis. We now return you to the quick insta-reactions we've become famous for.

Wait, the NHL has a team in Columbus??? Game Preview and Open Thread

There are very few events that warrant the absence of a stripper photo on a Saturday night. The retirement of Bob Gainey's #23 is certainly one of them. We would give you a long, detailed story about how great a player and leader Bob was, but we have the feeling Bob wouldn't like that. He's a low key, team-first guy. He probably will be embarassed tonight for the attention he gets. So we'll just say this - he was one of the best captains the Habs ever had, and he redefined forward play so much they had to invent a trophy to give to him. Here's his Legends of Hockey bio, and Red Fisher's memories. That'll do. Let's hear your Bob memories in the comments. Some quick notes about the game:

• 7 PM start, Bell Centre. The Bob ceremony should start around 6 PM. The game is on CBC, but I'm sure they won't show the Bob ceremony because they'll be having a 60-minute roundtable discussion on whether Mats should be traded;
• Habs are only 5-5 in their last 10. Columbus is 3-4-3, and coming off a shootout win in Ottawa;
• Your cover charge goes to Bethany's Hockey Rants. One of Hockey's Ladies of Greatness, Bethany knows way too much about hockey to be stuck in Kentucky;
• Kovy is always hot it seems, with 7 points in his last 3 games. Markov has 6 points in 3 games;
• Rick Nash is the only Blue Jacket that matters, though Fedorov and Peca may argue;
• Gui! now pointless in 11 games. The Christo-Wall is a bit off lately too;
• Welcome back, Ron Hainsey!
• Carey Price faces Pascal Leclaire. Fuck, Québecois goalies always do well in Montreal, especially ones with 2.17 GAA, .922 save % and 8 shutouts;
• Looks like Bégin will play, after sitting out Thursday with the dreaded groin injury. No other word on the line-up.

K let's rock 'n roll! In Bob We Trust.

Gainey's Take on the First 41

As the FHF takes its sweet-ass time to give you our first half of the season review (TMS told you, we're too busy with cheap stripper Mondays), Bob stepped to the podium to give his take. For those of you who don't read the French, we at FHF happily translate Bob's quotes for you. Please note his trademark calm demeanour may get lost in the translation.

Je vois que Guy (Carbo) est plus confortable derrière le banc cette saison. Les joueurs répondent mieux et ils sont plus disciplinés que l'an dernier.

Trans: What the FUCK is Guy doing back there? The looks on his face are fucking killing me. Deer in the goddamn headlights. One year as a head coach and you decide to turn into the dipshit Puppet Master? Give me a fucking break. The players are so confused they can't react, so they are like zombies. One more month of this crap and I'm taking over.

Nous ne pouvons pas compléter des rencontres en ne remportant que 25 ou 30 % de nos mises en jeu.

Trans: Can no one win a fucking face-off??? The puck drops, you put your fucking stick on it and pass it back to the player behind you. It's not that hard you asshole centers.

J'ai lu dans les journaux dernièrement que les bonnes prestations de Kovalev étaient liées à une rencontre que j'avais eue avec lui. Ce n'est pas le cas.

Trans: I can't tell Kovy shit. That guy is fucking crazy. Ever go up in his airplane with him? Don't. The guy has shitloads of vodka and a dead hooker up there.

C'est Alex qui a décidé de changer son attitude et de se prendre en main. Je suis content pour lui. Tout le crédit lui revient.

Trans: I'm scared shitless of that fucking bipolar maniac. Of course all credit goes to him. If I said anything else I'd get whacked like a hooker.

It's Not Like It's The Punch Line Or Anything, It's Just 3 People!

So there was a fascinating story in la Presse this morning. Basically, for those of you who don't read French, it says that Danny Brière would be a Hab, but Gainey would not promise him he would play on the first line with Higgins and Ryder. Gainey insisted that Saku would remain the team's first line center. Brière went to Philly where they said he could play with who he wants.

There are so many questions here we don't even know where to start. 1 - is this true? 2 - is this just a case of la Presse stirring up shit? 3 - if this is true, why on Earth would Gainey say that? 4 - if Gainey had just asked Saku to move, wouldn't he have said yes? 5 - if Gainey knew Saku would have said no, doesn't that mean that Saku has a real problem with Kovy and can't play with him? (this is HF33's theory that we discussed at lunch today)

Look, you don't break up the Punch line, or Shutt-Lemaire-Lafleur, or a fine blonde-brunette-redhead combo like you see above. But Koivu-Ryder-Higgins ain't any of those. This is a real head-scratcher.

It's About Fucking Time

The Habs have just announced that the retirement of the numbers 19 and 23 will occur this year. Big Bird will be on November 19, Bob on February 23. Nice synergy there with the dates. I have no doubt it will be class all the way, and it's good to see the Habs getting around to those numbers that need to be retired. Larry was arguably one of the Top 5 D of all time, for fuck's sake. And they had to literally invent a trophy to reward Bob for the way he played. Long overdue for both, well-deserved.

Thanks For Ruining Our Weekend, Bob

Well it's official. The Breezer has signed and will be in a Habs uni once again.

HF33 and I have such a great weekend planned. We are off to the wilds of the Laurentian mountains north of Montreal for the bachelour party of "fifth Hab fan" Mike. Drinking, BBQ'ing copious amounts of meat, drinking, and of course, strippers. The perfect weekend. Now Gainey has gone and ruined it all by signing the Breezer, undoubtedly forcing the topic of discussion all weekend to this nightmare.

RDS is reporting that the deal is worth 700k, with an additional 700k in bonuses available. Bonuses for what? Limiting the number of players skating by him to 3 per game? Keeping his plus/minus above minus 40???

As we have mentioned before, this is a mixed blessing for the FHF. Sure, he sucks, but at least now we have comedy material for the whole season.

But our weekend is still ruined. F U Bob. The FHF mantra of "Trust Bob" is being stretched to the limit here.

Ça Suffit - Part Two

The enmeshment between the Canadiens and the city of Montreal runs deep. It has justified the rise in journalists that cover the daily saga that wraps itself around an 82 game schedule. It has bred the creation of 24 hour sports radio stations in both official languages. It has enabled late night televised debates over every single detail regarding every aspect of the team, drawing huge audiences in the process. The Montreal Canadiens are the team that never sleeps, revived over and over again, well after the game or the season has been played, by its fans that now enjoy so many outlets to channel their passion.

The team and its players are subjected to hot lamp scrutiny as soon as they agree to play in Montreal.

General manager Bob Gainey, who is no stranger to captaincy, winning or personal devastation, stands by oft criticized Saku Koivu with unquestionable faith and confidence.

Recently though the aim has shifted slightly towards the GM.

Many in the francophone media have argued that Gainey wasn’t fit for work after his own terrible loss. This very personal and very private issue was raised in the francophone newspapers, televised news bulletins, radio shows and during the team’s press conferences, all while the man still struggled to come to terms with his immense grief.

After having remained idle at the trading deadline, Gainey’s dedication to his work in view of his personal loss was questioned by the media who in the process sank to new depths as far as unprofessional and distasteful conduct is concerned. The man is in the throes of agonizing tragedy and the francophone media is calling for his head. Aren’t we all told to cope and gather our inner strength to try and move forward, to not abandon life, to resume work in the face of adversity?

Gainey should have been praised by the media for the courage it took to embrace a daily routine again, despite the reality that for the rest of his life that routine will include the grieving and the coping. Instead, he was criticized for attempting to revert to a sense of normalcy in the world that had again suddenly collapsed around him. Life has not been easy on Bob Gainey, you figure the media would intuitively sense that and publicly empathize with the man Russian coach Victor Tikhonov once labelled the most intelligent player in the world. Instead, in the spasm of those few weeks, the media in Quebec requested his head.

Some in the francophone media that follows this team move with a modus operandi and a purpose to unleash venom. It’s fully evidenced in the format that 110% has chosen to adopt in showcasing participants (who in fact are all journalists) barking at one another to get their points across. The overly simplistic result far too often falls somewhere between the incoherent and uninformative. When 110 succeeds, as a journalistic medium, it's because the decibels are low and the debators are afforded the luxury of finishing a sentence. This aggressive reporting, if one can call it that, was also in full force when journalists barged into Koivu’s hospital room, which only yielded tabloid fodder.

Last month, a francophone radio host asked his audience to call in and comment on whether or not there should be a limit of European players on every NHL team because of their alleged lack of dedication. This form of tribalism has no place in sports journalism, let alone in sports. Some in the French media continue to disseminate a message laced with subtle xenophobia. It’s not as outrageous as the kind Don Cherry advocates, but both are hatched out of the same rotten egg.

As a francophone Quebecois myself, I hold my media to higher standards. I'm asking for more. However, I only ask for sports. Leave the politics to the politicians. When comparing the French media to the Anglo press, one cannot help but notice a difference in style. This dichotomy runs along cultural lines drawn over time between Quebec and Canada. The English press, save for the irate Cherry, voice contained criticism. Confined within the borders of what seems appropriate. The frustration is there, it's palpable, but rarely overt, never overbearing. Is it boring? Maybe it is at times.

En français, as a testament to the wonderful warmth, passion and authenticity that the French Québécois are about, the media often takes things to an all too personal, begrudging level. And it gets ugly very quickly. It’s time for these members of the francophone media in Quebec to start treating the players with dignity and its fans with respect. Nobody deserves this as much as Koivu, Gainey and some of the most knowledgeable hockey fans in the world. They all deserve something cerebral to chew on. C’est assez, ça suffit.

Live-ish Draft Blogging 4 - Habs, FINALLY

1:30 in and here's Bob on stage FINALLY. I really hate drafts. The same thanks to Columbus and everything else every other GM has said. And... Trevor Timmins announces... Ryan McDonagh? With Esposito still available? Just, weird. Cherepanov still available too? Anyway, another U.S D. TSN guys like him. Another Komisarek?

Bob with Duthie explaining the pick. Saying McDonagh was his choice all along. Bob saying Espo was "on their list" but not at 12.

Let the arguing begin.

Think Faster Bob, You've Only Got About 12 Hours Left

This man looks contemplative. Or constipated. It's a fine line. Either way, he better come up with something quick.

Yes, the glitz and glamour that is the NHL entry draft begins at 7:00 P.M. tonight (prime time on a Friday, in Columbus - the definition of glitz and glamour). And the stars are aligned for the Habs to do... something? Bob's sitting on 2 first rounders (12 and 22) and there's deals to be had. Or not. What do I know? Player personnel and trades and drafts are Panger's domain around here, I just complain about the sucking.

So is there a Sutter in the Habs' future? Does Esposito drop to 12? Do we only want him 'cause he's from Montreal? Man, Phil Esposito would be neat; we could use 76 goals in a season.

We'll see which of the FHF checks in before 7 to give us some sort of analysis. Undoubtedly I'll just complain about the Habs' picks after they're made.

Friday's Draft

The NHL draft is Friday. We have a mantra among the FHF - trust in Gainey, trust in Gainey. But how can you trust someone being belittled by a giant fuzzy orange thing???

Maybe the Youpster can play center.