The winters were long, long seasons. We lived in three places - on the internet, in front of the tv, and at work or school. But our real life was on FourHabsFans. Real battles were won on FourHabFans. Real strength appeared on FourHabsFans. The real leaders showed themselves on FourHabsFans.
I remember very well the winter of 2010. We all wore the same uniform, the red, white and blue uniform of the Montreal Canadiens, the best hockey team in the world. We all shaved our heads like Scott Gomez. We laced our skates like Tomas Plekanec and taped our sticks like Andrei Markov. We did drugs and drank beer like Carey Price. We hung out with Russian gangsters like Sergei and Andrei Kostitsyn. Truly, we knew everything there was to know about the Montreal Canadiens.
Dear Monsieur Eaton,
Would you be so kind as to send me a Canadiens' hockey sweater for my son, HF10, who is 36 years old and a little bit tall for his age? Docteur Mulder thinks he is a little too thin. I am sending you $300. Please send me the change if there is any. I hope your packing will be better than it was last time.
Of course, Mr. Eaton's store went out of business many years ago, leaving only a Centre in Toronto bearing his name, so La Baie answered my mother. Two weeks later we received the sweater.
That day I had one of the greatest disappointments of my life! Instead of the red, white and blue Montreal Canadiens sweater, La Baie had sent the blue and white number 81 sweater of Phil Kessel of the Toronto Maple Leafs. I had always worn the red, white and blue sweater of the Montreal Canadiens. All my friends wore the red, white and blue sweater. Never had anyone at FourHabsFans worn the Phil Kessel number 81 Toronto sweater. Besides, the Toronto team had been beaten 3 times out of 4 by the Canadiens this season.
With tears in my eyes, I found the strength to say: "I'll never wear that uniform".
My mother agreed that wanting a Montreal Canadiens Mike Cammalleri number 13 sweater and settling for a Phil Kessel number 81 Toronto sweater would not do. She sent another email asking for a trade. Instead of a proper trade, they sent her three very valuable Bruins sweaters. The letter explained that we could order "Hall" or Seguin" for the sweater in June, and names and numbers for the other two sweaters in June 2011. It is a strange place, Toronto. They have a tres bizarre way of running their business.
When I arrived at FourHabsFans to discuss the game that is going to happen live at the Air Canada Centre at 7:00 pm on CBC and RDS, I wasn't concerned about the three potential Bruins sweaters that had been traded for the one Phil Kessel sweater. I was wondering if the Canadiens could win their seventh straight against a Toronto team that had won four of five. If a red-hot Jaro Halak and the GMC line could keep the momentum going if the Monster was looking for his fifth straight win. I was not concerned about being banned from the comments because of a blue sweater; I was more concerned with Cammalleri's health and what the possible return of the Urologist would do to the lines. I wondered if Mike Komisarek's bum shoulder will make him damaged goods for the rest of his huge contract. I wondered if the rebuilding job done by window-peeping Brian Burke was already on track with Toronto's youngsters playing so well.
Just in case, I went to church and I asked God to send me right away, a hundred million moths that would eat up my three Bruins sweaters, a spate of injuries to the Leafs that would keep them in the lottery, and 11 more wins in a row for the Canadiens.
With sincere apologies to the great Roch Carrier and his classic tale.
