Showing posts with label Drop the motherfucking puck already. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drop the motherfucking puck already. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Afternoon Skate is looking stylish


Helloooooo, handsome. 

Bullet points for what you missed while you've been stuck at work with an IT department that blocks every interesting site on the interwebs...
  • In light of TFS' stylishness, Squid Tweets his fashion preferences and offers fashion tips;
  • Sid's agent is denying all this crap about his client not being ready for the season because of the return of concussion symptoms. Because agents (fucking lawyers) tell the truth all the time, we of course believe him. And Steven Stamkos has weighed in for some reason;
  • Ovie is hawking chocolate bars now. There's videos and everything. We'd bitch, but as any 420'er knows, Mr. Big is a fine product. Chewy and crunchy all at once;
  • Here's a nice puff piece on PatCHes' upcoming season. Even the Canadiens website is bored;
  • If you've got nothing to do at 4 PM today, turn on TSN2 and root for 12-year olds. PUMMELL THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE JAPANESE IMPERIALIST ASSHOLES. Sorry, the LLWS is the only baseball we watch anymore, and we take it way too seriously;
  • Over at our summer fling, we've got the weekly True Blood recap and as a special bonus, TMS singing. Don't judge;
  • Anyone feel the earthquake this afternoon?
As you were.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Anticipavacation ~ things to do and to look forward to on 08/22

Its been a long, lazy, sometimes hazy summer with almost no real hockey news for what seems likes months since the Broons were handed a fucking tarnished Stanley Cup. Even the Canadiens official site is bored to the point of main-paging a July story about the contractual status of players. I could easily replicate the daily links Habs, er Hockey i/o puts out, that would be too easy but I do like this BR (Bleacher Report, not Bertrand Raymond) story. Feel the ice creamy optimism about contending for #25!
Bits of tid and other things to look forward to;
~ An Avenging Colby Smulders ~
~ Thanks/Merci/CHeers Jack ~
~ iPhone5 ~
~ The original Fred Flagstone clip ~
~ 'The Waiting', its the hardest part ~
~ Back to sCHool ~
~ The End ~
GYFHG!

Monday, October 06, 2008

And Now A Look Back on the Season That Meant as Much as a Flea Fart in a Hurricane


Politicians signed 27 peace treaties in the middle east.

Oprah Winfrey has been on approximately 46 different diets.

My dog Keno was spayed when she was 2 months old.

The Habs played a bunch of exhibition games in the last couple of weeks.

So how much did it all matter in the end? (See title and picture and, while you're at it, chart actor pictured above and his path to adult glory after an explosive childhood debut).

The war rages on. Oprah's still a chunk jar and my dog humped my leg and anything resembling a canine penis for 12 long but curiously interesting years.

A few players got to see their names in the papers for a couple of days, even played a few shifts in some meaningless games while the veterans could be seen groaning with boredom on the bench. Most of them will never be heard of again. Nobody will ever remember the exhibition standings and all of us will be asking whether or not Pierre Boivin should stand trial for charging full value for exhibition tickets.

On a positive note, this pre-season did leave us wanting more of a few pleasant surprises.

P.K. Subama delivered 100 cents on the charismatic dollar. While he did throw some errant behind the back passes around, Subama provided the energy and hope needed to re-establish the Habs' credibility abroad. Next year, yes he can.

Maxi Pack always played with wings, and proved to slip in comfortably on the various lines coach Carbo improvised on the bench. Can he make it back to the big stage come next fallen body? Depends.

Carey Price has discovered steamed vegetables and has displayed new skill and agility while leaving the blandness of his persona impeccably intact. So much for those who thought that his whisper was due to the fat lodged in and around his vocal chords.

Kovy's skills are alive and well, so for now he's still New Kovy, not Old Kovy, unless he's really now Old Kovy because New Kovy was last year and now that it's this year, it's old news thus making him Old Kovy, but that seems pejorative and out of touch because Old Kovy as we knew him was Bad Kovy and today he is good Kovy, making him Good Old Kovy.

Saku Koivu was as injured in the pre-season as he has been in the regular season. Yet still lead the team in scoring despite having played 2 periods. No, no that was before. These are the good Habs...I've gotta start getting used to this...

I'd rather watch a documentary on an autistic ant colony, narrated by a mute guy, than see this pre-season go on. I'm a very emotional man and I require life with purpose, depth and meaning, and games that count for my hockey pool to make me wealthy beyond my dreams. No more games with unknown Québécois players getting a try at the shootout. No more numbers 75, 92, 58 and 83 on the bench, that just looks weird, and un-hockey like.

Thanks to Subama and Maxi-Pacs for their entertainment value in an otherwise painfully irrelevant process.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

In case you were wondering ...


We're not dead. There's just fuck all going on. We've pretty much given up on the season ever starting, let alone any large, balding Swedes making a fucking decision.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

...and then there was one

Bob (GM Of The Year) Gainey now has Josh G(e)orges, last year's Most Improved Player, under contract for three years at $1.1M per. This leaves Rhino as the Habs' last remining RFA.

It also leaves the Habs with about $7.5 M in cap space, so if they're planning to sign Mats at $7M per, Rhino will have to come cheap. The good news is that they then wouldn't have cap room for Breezer. Thank God for small miracles.

BTW, for those who object to the "GM of the year" title, keep in mind Trader Bob got Georges AND Max Pacioretty for Craig Rivet. The FHF wouldn't make a straight-up trade of Rivet (almost 34, $3.5M cap hit) for Georges (23, $1,1M cap hit) today, never mind including budding power forward Max Pack. And we still like Rivet - although I'm sure that will change come October when he's in a Buffalo uniform.

Is it training camp yet???

Friday, May 23, 2008

Dear NHL Playoff Schedule Makers ...


DROP THE FUCKING PUCK ALREADY!!!

Seriously, what are you waiting for? This ain't the Super Bowl. Why Idiot Bettman doesn't take a page from his hero David Stern and have each new series start as soon as possible after the matchups are confirmed is beyond me. A full week of shit like "Sidney will be the youngest captain to hoist the Cup" or "Lidstrom will be the first European captain to hoist the Cup" or "Chris Chelios still changes his own adult diaper ... what a medical marvel!" articles has me at the breaking point.

We're Habs fans. But we're also hockey fans, and this series could be a great one, with some serious marketing potential ... so why drag it out? Anticipation has long given way to "holy fuck, are they ever going to start?", and with the weather warming up, we're all going to find something else to do. And they wonder why no one watches this fucking league.

Puck. Drop. Now.

Fuckers.