Salary cap = story with numbers = Danica picture

So TSN is reporting that the salary cap for this year will be $56.7 million, up 6.4 mill from last year.

FHF resident mathematician Danica McKellar says that's alot of money. We believe everything she says.

Tanguay's $5.375 Million = We Need Math Help

So the Habs land Alex Tanguay for a useless 25th pick in the draft (and a 2nd round for a 5th round exchange next year). All in all, a pretty sweet deal. But in the world of the salary cap, you can only ask yourself, do the numbers work? As lawyers suck at math, we have turned to FHF in-house mathematician Danica McKellar to work out the cap numbers for us. We needed to know if we can sign Big Tits and the rest of our FA's and still have room for a possible Sundin deal. Here's what she said, or at least what we thought she said:

"carry the one... differential equations on the curve... Winnie Cooper... sweet, sweet love... add it to me, ADD IT TO ME!!!!..."

Well that wasn't much help. Let's just say Tanguay is a decent scoring winger who should mesh well with the Habs offense. He's a French Canadian player who is actually excited to play here, and even waived his no-trade to do it. He's not Jokinnen who we really wanted, but at least Bob made a splash. We'll reserve real judgment until the summer plays out. Or until he gets ripped in La Presse for his first three-game pointless streak and freaks out at the pressure on local talent in Montreal. That'll be fun.

According to Math, the Habs Would Already Be Swept

We hate math ... but we love Danica.

So the Habs lost to the Flyers 4-1. The Flyers got dismantled by the Pens, also 4-1. The Pens are currently being taken out behind the woodshed by the Wings, and might be lucky to score, let alone win a game in the Finals.

By our calculations, (aided by our beloved math enchantress/teenage crush Danica (aka Winnie Cooper), that means the following:

Habs +/- 2 times Flyers -50 less than Pens divided by Pens +/- a billion less than Wings, factor of y, times 3.147453377 =

The Wings would have won games 1 to 3 of a Habs/Wings final by a combined 143 to -13, and then the NHL would have just given them game four to spare us all the embarassment.

The FHF Hate Math... Unless Danica McKellar is Involved

RDS must have some mathematicians on their staff, for they report that with wins in two out of three games this week the Habs will clinch a playoff spot. FHF cannot verify this fact, as all lawyers have an innate fear of math (well, except tax lawyers, but they're weird anyway).

Really? Clinch a playoff spot? With three weeks left in the season? Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Ms. McKellar.

P.S. for those of you who wonder (groan) what the McKellar connection is, check out this. Or this. Or just assume FHF is posting photos of hot babes for no reason, as usual.