Showing posts with label Law-geek. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Law-geek. Show all posts

Thursday, June 19, 2008

I Don't Even Have A Joke Title Here


So according to reports, king of asshattery and the man who has ruined hockey Gary Bettman and his dumbass lackeys in the league offices are threatening to boot MSG, the very powerful owners of the Rangers (and Knicks, and Madison Square Gardens, and half of Manhattan) out of the league for having the temerity to challenge the NHL's Chinese Communist Party grip on all team websites and promotions.

So, let me get this straight: Owners who are shady and under investigation for numerous fraudulent business deals named "Boots" are okay; Owners whose monster pharmaceutical companies are also under investigation are okay; Ownership groups who are engaging in what might appear to be tampering with other team's contracted personnel are okay; and money-losing, garbage franchises in horrible markets are preferred to passionate potential owners and rabid hockey markets, because the potential owner is a bit of a maverick, and those types are never good for a floundering league. But you're going after one of your flagship franchise's owners because they had what could be a legitimate gripe about your half-assed promotional skills, even after the Courts ruled in your favour? Good fucking God.

We've got no love for the Rangers, but I certainly would back them against that fucking little twit Bettman.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Kill all the Lawyers - In re: Guimauve Latendresse

Kill all the Lawyers is the newest feature at FHF wherein we invite lawyer Habs fans (besides us) to write special comments, full of inside lawyer jokes that will drive everyone else crazy. Today, regular reader and commenter Damion files this appeal.

In the matter of the appeal concerning Gui!:

I respectfully submit the following evidence in support of my petition to release Gui! from the purgatory FHF condemned him to: Gui! has scored 15 goals, admittedly low, in 66 games. However, 13 of those goals were at even strength. That puts him fourth in team scoring for even handed scoring despite only averaging about 12 minutes a game, which is the 18th lowest on the team. Prayer for Relief:

1. Clarification of Gui!'s contribution to the team in a future FHF post; or

2. In the alternative, abstention of criticism until his play (reasonably assessed) causes either (a) the team's detrimental movement in the standings (e.g. he turns over the puck to Darcy Tucker in the final game against Toronto who scores the winning goal, thereby costing us the win along with a drop to fifth place and losing home ice in a series against the Rangers); or (b) a loss in any single playoff game.

Respectfully submitted,

A reluctant Gui! fan.

Consider your prayer for relief answered.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

FHF’s Weekend Update


This is what FHF thinks of when they picture "Swedish Cops". For an explanation as to the inspiration behind this lovely photo, as well as some thoughts on some stories from this past week (you know, the one’s we could come up with smart-ass comments for), read on my pretties:

San Jose and Florida signed their young stars, Milan Michalek and Stephen Weiss, respectively, to 6-year contracts. Michalek will collect $26 million over that span. The Sharks also guarantee his services for 7 years, since this deal only kicks in next season. Weiss agreed to take only $18.1 of Florida’s money. So, if we’re Gainey, should we being talking to Higgins and Plekanec about these types of contracts? It doesn’t seem possible for the salary cap to keep spiking as it has since the lockout, but for the upside these players present those salaries are likely going to look like bargains in a few years. If Gainey feels his guys are key players for the future of the franchise he would do well to consider it now before the price goes up and they leave for nothing. But something tells me Gainey will go the cautious route and avoid long term contracts. Wait, he gave Hamrlik how many years??

Peca’s signing with Columbus is good news for the Habs. Any Leafs loss is a Habs gain.

Ed Belfour just doesn’t know when to quit. Although you could draw some comparisons between Belfour and Patrick Roy - both great goalies of their era (although obviously Roy is also a great goalie of anyone’s era), hated by their back ups, prone to burst of violence and egomanical, at least St Patrick knew when to walk away with class. I can’t wait to hear the first time Belfour assaults a Swedish cop. Then we’ll find out if Don Cherry is right about Europeans being soft. It would have been even more interesting if Belfour had signed for a Russian team. There’s a real possibility his body would have washed up on the shores of the Moskva river before the season was out.

Warning - Law-geek talk ahead: I find this whole Columbus/Alexander Svitov contract situation very interesting in a legal sense. I mean, Svits reportedly signed a two-year deal to play with Columbus only weeks ago, and now he’s off to Russia? Did the Columbus contract contain some sort of escape clause - in which case, kudos to his agent? Was the contract never signed? Or is the fact that Columbus is doing nothing about this simply an reflection of their knowledge that any lawsuit over the contract would ultimately end up in front of a Russian Court, and given Russia’s recent return to Nationalist tendencies, something tells me that any Russian Court ruling would side with Svitov.

Warning - previous Warning still in effect: So word was this week the Steve Moore-Todd Bertuzzi civil trial has reached the discovery stage. I’d love to know what kind of questions the lawyers are asking the other side, and for how long. I bet Big Bert’s gonna be sitting in that chair for days, and by the end of it Bertuzzi is going to be wishing he had attacked the lawyer instead. Trust me when I say discoveries are BORING. Although I suppose the chance that the witness could pummel the questioner into a bloody pulp and no one in that room could stop him would probably spice things up.