Kovy and Gang Bang Lang go to breakfast. Possibly at Hooters

So TSN is reporting that old linemates Kovy and GBL had breakfast yesterday morning. No report on where, but we like to think it happened at Hooters. Who doesn't enjoy some cleavage with a greasy breakfast of crappy wings? Anyway, we imagine the conversation going something like this:

GBL: I'm quite excited to play here. This is the ultimate hockey town.

Kovy: Wake the fuck up you stupid Czech putz. It's a nightmare. You won't get a moment's rest. The fans and media will be on you as soon as you take a shift off. Trust me, I should know. If you're in the hospital, they'll break in and take pictures of you, for fuck's sake.

GBL: But at least the coach is good, right?

Kovy: Whatevs. Just ignore him. I do. Like when he tells me to get off the ice after a shift. Hahaha, he's so cute.

GBL: But he'll treat me fairly, won't he?

Kovy: Unless you sleep with his female relatives, like Michael Ryder. Does the phrase "whipping boy" mean anything to you?

GBL: At least we'll get to play together, right? Just like the old days?

Kovy: Go drink some more Czech absinthe, you're high. My career has been revitalized by a couple of young guns. They do all the work, I get the glory. Have fun trying to turn Latendresse into a semblance of an actual hockey player.

GBL: I have to get out of here.

The Morning Skate for Tuesday, September 16th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of marrying Mr. Sulu...

• Rookie camp opens, Max Pack is the centre of attention. Fuck, he's 19, leave him alone, media;
• Drive 12 hours to get to Montreal in time to join your new teammates on the ice on the first possible day even though it was totally voluntary? Check. Say all the right things to the media? Check. Gang Bang Lang is here, and TMS is happy so far.

Mid-September, hockey is in the air and all is right with the world. Until the first loss.

Let's make some lines, shall we?

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We've got some good news and some bad news. And one last time, Fuck You Mats

Let's get the bad news out of the way. Habs have resigned Breezer to a one year deal. Whatever.

Now the good news. Habs have acquired a 37 year-old scoring center from Europe. It ain't Mats. It's Robert Lang, acquired from the Blackhawks for a second round pick in 2010 (the one we got from the Laffs in the Grabs trade). Lang has 50+ points in the last 8 seasons, and I am pretty sure he was an All Star when he played for one of his 300 teams.

To us, this is a sure sign Bob has given up on Mats. Well done. Fuck you Mats. Go suck rocks in New York. Gang Bang Lang is in town.