Good morning, y'all! It's October, there's a nip in the air and real hockey is around the corner. Before we get to real hockey, there's one more round of fake hockey for the Habs to lose, tonight at 7 from Quebec City against the Bolts, on RDS. Over/under on mentions of the Nordiques and / or NHL's return to La Capitale? 3000. And please, FFS Habs, give us something to be happy about to prep for the season.
Plenty of hockey stuff to point you to today, let's see, uh, hmm. More Shanny discipline. Gallagher back to Junior. Pretty ugly leg-breaking on an icing last night. TSN 30 in 30 thingamabob gets to the Laffs, and the comments turn into Leafs fans bashing The Mexican't. Finally, while we're kind of disappointed as to how Simmons' ESPN Grantland has turned out (a little too pretentious, and even Klosterman seems lost over there), when our numbersake writes a piece about hockey head shots for them we've got to recommend it for some weekend reading.
Elsewhere, Als held on over the Bombers in a wild finish. The MLB baseball playoffs have started, if anyone cares. I so don't care or know what's going on in baseball when I saw Milwaukee was in the playoffs I fainted. The All Blacks have lost two key players prior to Canada's final World Cup rugby match tonight against them, not that Canada has a chance anyway. TWOTOL ain't just about sports of course. Have you got any movie recommendations? New fall TV shows? Books? I am currently reading The Omnivore's Dilemma, which is excellent, though it's disturbing enough I may never eat again. Though after three days of Rosh Hashanah eating, I may never have to eat again anyway.
Patches! Als! Sens tonight, Bs tomorrow. I have to run off, I'll update later, talk amongst yourselves. That's what TWOTOL's all about anyway...
SUNDAY MORNING UPDATE. Habs lost 3-2 last night, thanks to a goal in the last minute by Chris Neil (seriously?). Not much of a game to remember, except for Squid's 2 goals thanks to Palushaj's two helpers. Beaulieu showed he's not ready for prime time, despite RDS' insistence he is. TFS hopefully continuing his pattern of playing meh in the pre-season only to win almost 40 games in the regular season. Although he did have some huge saves at key times, and the Sens' 2nd goal bounced off a hundred skates before it went in.
Bruins tonight, at 6 pm EST from Halifax. PatCHes did not make the trip out East, and the Shaved Gorilla has been on and off with a leg injury all pre-season so he probably won't be there either. Don't forget CHicken! In other former-Habs-with-CH-in-their-nickname news, CHeez Whiz is in trouble.
While you wait, nice NFL double at 1 PM (at least on northeast stations) with Giants-Eagles and Pats-Bills (Bills are good this year). Or you could catch up on some housework. You're bathtub is disgusting.
moeman updates that i/o reports the following;"The Boston Bruins will play defenceman Zdeno Chara and forward Benoit Pouliot tonight vs. the Canadiens, but will sit both players tomorrow on the team’s date back at the Bell Centre."
JEBUS I HATE BLOGGER. Apologies to those of you (Steve) who have tried to comment over the past 24 hours or so. Blogger was totally fucked for everyone, not just us. Google is short of cash, can't afford to pay the hosting bills or something. ANYWAY, tweet this bitCHes: Sharks survive, Canada blows, Goat signs a Euro D but he's Swiss, Victorias Secret, bikinis, lingerie, more Victorias Secret, more bikinis, more lingerie. #FUCKnowyoutubeisdowncantembedavideoheresanoldfashionedTWOTOLpic
Really, do you want to go out into the cold and the snow this weekend? Of course you don't. Neither do I. So I'm gonna grab a brew or twenty, plop My Humps on the couch and enjoy hours and hours of sporting entertainment. Join me, won't you? Let's Get it Started:
Game 1 - Rangers
2 PM start at The Bell. On the See Bee See for all your English Mcsplooge-free broadcasting needs. Possibly maybe available illegally here, but you didn't hear that from us. It's the Battle for Sixth Place! Habs have won both games against the Rangers this year. I wonder how our old friends at the Bullshit Bulletin are doing? Man we had some good times back in the day.
Gio-Pleks-PatCHes hot, Mexican CHicken not. Gaborik good, Drury bad. Price in nets, Lundqvist probably not. No other lineup word right now. This brief preview has been sponsored by the fact that I've got to get working on my famous Super Bowl chili already (the secret is meth!).
UPDATE - Shutout, bitCHes! Here's your long-form video highlights after a win.
Saturday Night
Let's face it, you have no social life, so you need to watch hockey and drink alone on Saturday night. What to do when there is no hockey? RDS feels your pain and has you covered. Tonight they've got two episodes of the series "Nos Canadiens". If you haven't seen it yet, CHeck it out. Essentially a "day in the life" kind of thing, hosted by the lovely Anne-Marie Withenshaw. Tonight they've got Mathieu Darche at 10:30 and TFS at 11. Saw a preview for the TFS one and he's bowling. Bowling! You can't miss that.
UPDATE - I think Mathieu Darche's wife may want to kill Anne-Marie Withenshaw.
Game 2 - Devils
Sunday at 3 PM. Keep it on in the background while you prepare your Super Bowl feast 'cause I am sure this will be boring as shit. Again, on the See Bee See for all your English Mcsplooge-free broadcasting needs and possibly maybe available illegally here, but you didn't hear that from us. Unlike the Blueshirt Bulletin, I honestly miss our old friends Pookie and Schnookie over at IPB.
Kind of tough to preview a game when the previous one hasn't happened yet. Maybe I'll update this space tomorrow, or later tonight after I finish masturbating to the lovely Anne-Marie Withenshaw.
SUNDAY 8 AM UPDATE - Here's some bullet points headed into today's game with the Devils:
Habs could go 4-0 for the week. Bestill my beating heart!
A Habs win today would: a) tie us with Boston in points and b) get us to fifth place with a Caps loss or OT loss against the Pens;
Don't get too excited though until you read the next two bullet points;
The January 2011 Devils are not the crappy 2010 Devils. They're 7-1-2 in their last 10, and Fat Marty is 7-1-1;
The Devils have won 5 in a row in Montreal, including a 3-0 shutout in October;
Take the Mexican off the cold list, I thought he had a great game yesterday, and not just his goal;
TFS gets another start;
The Habs PP has gone in the tank. 0 for our last 22 or something like that;
OK, time to start drinking!
Game 3 - Super Bowl XLV
Kickoff 6:15ish, pre-game show starts 7 AM. Steelers vs. the Packers. Tradition! Fat unemployed steelworker fans vs. fat cheese-eating fans. On Fox with crappy CTV commercials. Not much more to say. What is this, a football blog? The only thing I'm hoping for this game is a Steelers win, more problems at Cowboys Stadium to embarrass Jerry Jones, and a Fergie wardrobe malfunction at halftime.
OK that about wraps it up. Hey, I just realized that technically this is a weekend open thread of love. Where is the Love anymore? We haven't seen a TWOTOL pic in a long time. Enjoy the weekend everyone.
How many times have I watched that PFK end to end rush at about the :40 mark? Too many times to count. Habs win a meaningless game 4-2. In Ottawa tonight and the WIld visit tomorrow. Enjoy the weekend kids.
Oh it's the weekend? I guess that means an open thread of love pic. What are you gonna do? Them's the rules.
Top of the morning lads and lasses! How y'all doing? 2 days 'til rookie camp (LIW does a nice job profiling the invitees). A mere one week until actual camp. Swoon.
You know what caught my eye this morning? The lead story on RDS was highlights of a QMJHL game. Of course, it was because Louis Leblanc was playing in it. This kid is so fucking screwed. If they're leading off with his Q games, what will RDS do if he actually plays on the Habs some day? It's not just the Franco media - the Gazette profiled him prior to the game. The expectations that we heap on this kid to be the next home town superstar are going to kill him. The media should lay off if they want to him to have a chance. BTW, TNextFS had 6 SOG, 1 assist and a terrible giveaway that led to an opposing goal and his team lost. C'mon Louis!
Lap dance to moe for finding Mario Tremblay's first scribes for RDS. Le Bleuet was kind of dull to be honest. I enjoyed his "don't be negative" about the loss of Jaro line and his plea to let it see how it plays out. You don't know RDS readers Mario.
We've generally ignored the alleged imminent return of the Nordiques around here. Can someone explain to me why it's now such a hot topic? I can't go 5 minutes without there being another rumour, discussion, email from a friend about the alleged imminent return of the Nordiques. What's changed? They're still probably too small a market in the NHL's eyes, they still don't have an arena, and Gary Bettman is still in charge. Fine, Charest said this week he's ready to pay for part of the arena, but that's just politics. Hockey is politics in Quebec? That's un-possible! Get over it people, the Battle of Quebec is dead. We'll always have the memories.
Plenty of non-hockey stuff this weekend. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??? Here's a gallery of body-painted football babes to help you, uh, get ready, for the NFL opening weekend. U.S. Open finals go this weekend, so here's a gallery of U.S. Open babes to get you ready for that. I'm sensing a theme here. All good movie recommendations and recipes welcome as always in TWOTOL.
Since this TWOTOL is also Sexy Saturday, let's close this up with a lap dance to 25Stanley; their ability to find pics of hockey players and porn stars is unmatched in the hockey blogosphere. Danny boy, if you're gonna go out with Gina Lynn (seriously NSFW oh yeah!) order something besides Bud Light, would you? Have a good one kids, let's hear what you love.
Morning all. So sorry for the lack of Sexy Friday yesterday. Real life and all. So for Sexy Saturday we're doing something special - dumping a whole lotta crap on you! Consider these the FHF sexy deleted scenes, as we clean out some photos from our hard drive (to make room for more porn). There's just so much sexy goodness (in these pics that didn't make the cut in the first place), we're putting the whole thing after the jump. Join us for a trip down memory lane by doing the clickity-click thing NOW... This summer's World Cup was awesome for its sexiness. First, here's a bonus pic we didn't use of that famous Paraguayan babe with the boobs and the cell phone and the boobs. You know, what's-her-name. Man her 15 minutes are up.
And some random World cup babeage:
I think we once had a streak going where we only posted chicks who slept with Tom Brady for the previews. Here's a couple of outtakes from that series.
Our hard drive is filled with random stripper pics. Sometimes it's pretty obvious why we didn't use them. That den mother second from right is frightening me.
Here's some women drinking champagne, because, uh, we were celebrating something maybe?
We seem to have a whole series of sexy nun pictures on our hard drive. I vaguely recall a sexy nun preview a few years back. Or maybe these were just mixed in from our personal collection.
And finally, no sexy outtakes would be complete without a couple of selections from the Weekend Open Thread of Love series. Enjoy your weekend kids. Hockey season is just around the corner.
Sorry, we're still hungover, we may not be making sense. Anyway, the Canadiens actually did something at a draft for a change instead of just sitting there, making a trade with Phoenix to move up five spots to get this tall dude, Jarred Tinordi, at number 22. It tells you how old I am that I do in fact remember his father, Mark Tinordi, as a middling NHL'er. This kid is apparently better than his dad. By all accounts he's a great D prospect, and the Habs did well to get him. What do I know about prospects though, ask Panger and his invisible draft preview. Puck Daddy called it the "best unexpected pick" of the night.
We now return you to our regularly-scheduled pics of soccer babes, in honour of the Round of 16. This one's for Orangeman.
Since Sexy Friday was canceled because of all the, uh, Jaro business (scroll down to read Jaro's goodbye if you haven't yet), we thought you might enjoy Sexy Saturday as a replacement. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Hup Hup Holland! Ambush marketing? We don't give a shit. Look at them.
I need to make a call. Can I borrow your phone? It's a local call, I promise.
We're not forgetting our lady readers today. Please enjoy some shirtless footballers. Thanks to Jezebel for the pics. They're the internet leader in World Cup abs.
Consider this a Weekend Open Thread of Love. Feel free to talk soccer, US Open, recipes, or anything your little hearts' desire. Even hockey, what the hell. This pissed me off. Way more than the Jaro trade. Speaking of Jaro, my CBC opinion on that from yesterday is archived online. Maybe I don't sound like an idiot for a change. I'm happy I got to use the phrase "upside potential" on air once in my life.
Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see you there. Good Morning! I hope you are doing well today. Are you stuck inside with all the rain this weekend? Do you like looking at pictures of Asian women kissing whilst making your own content? Then we have the blog post for you!
OK so what can we talk about? Start with the Phlyers who refuse to play nice and let the Hawks win, evening their series last night with a 5-3 win. While the Phuckers deserve some credit, the Hawks really blew chunks last night for the first 40, making mistakes and falling in a 4-1 hole. But the fact is the Flyers could be up 3-1 in this series easily. They will probably win this thing. Prepare yourselves people. Game 5 Sunday night at 8.
Around the Habs, I guess there's a development camp going on or something. Pierre Gauthier said yesterday that Trevor Timmins is safe in the wake of the great scouts' purge of 2010. He then gave an outstanding non-answer to the question of why the 6 scouts were fired. Something about organizational restructuring.
Around the sports world, college hoops fans mourn the loss of John Wooden. Well, maybe mourn is the wrong word, given he lived 99 years. Let's go with "celebrate the life of." In soccer news, whatever hopes the Ivory Coast had for the World Cup were dashed as Chelsea star Didier Drogba broke his arm in a warm up match yesterday. Let's see, what else can we discuss? Maybe you're watching the French Open finals. I have the ladies final on in the background as I write this, with two players I've never heard of. I guess there's a baseball season happening somewhere if you'd like to discuss that.
Of course, in the open thread of love anything is fair game for discussion. We haven't had a good recipe exchange around here in a while. Let's hear your summertime classics! I made a honey mustard potato salad this week that was easy and delish. Steam about 3 cups new potatoes (cut up the larger ones into bite-sized chunks). Shock in cold water after steaming. Add a tablespoon of mayo, a teaspoon of Dijon, a teaspoon of honey, a teaspoon each (or more) of fresh basil and thyme chopped finely, S+P to taste, chill for at least an hour and voila! Simplicity itself. BTW those measurements are totally made up because I do all my cooking by eye. Don't hold me to them.
So please share your thoughts about anything, your loves, your laughs, your links. Have a great weekend everyone.
Oh, hello there. It's about fucking time we wake up from our end of post-season stupor, turn the lights back on and get back to "work", such as it is. We're happy you're still out there reading.
Before we move on, a quick note about the past that I'm not here to talk about. We have read all your comments on the last post and we were quite touched. We appreciate everything you've said about us and really, it made it all worthwhile. Writing (and photoshopping) is boring unless you know there's people out there enjoying what you've done. So thanks. And really, the site is about you guys too. What we write (and photoshop) is only half the fun. Reading the genius and witty comments makes it worthwhile to us. Many (if not most) sports blogs have fucking idiots for commentors. We do not. That's fucking awesome, so again, thanks.
OK forward! Uh, yeah. We'll figure out something to talk about soon. We keed. This is our annual "we're not going anywhere for the summer" post. We've got plenty of UFA and RFA Habs to talk about. I guess there is still a Stanley Cup Final to play. No doubt a Kostitsyn will get arrested soon so we'll cover that. I'm sure we'll also talk some World Cup, considering you've got 4 FHF's who are rabid English / French / Italian / Dutch supporters. It could get ugly. There will be chicks. We'll find plenty of other crap to fill the time, not to worry.
We do have some recapping of the season to do first though. By popular demand (2 people!), we'll have an end of season Pantscast in the coming days. Maybe we'll also write some shit too. You never know.
For now, open thread this baby to your heart's content. Go you fucking Bulldogs go. We love you.
It's Sexy Friday, bitCHes! Could there be anything better when the Habs are doing well? I think not. And the sexy is everywhere. March Madness brings the sexy fans. And Tiger Woods is not only a golfing machine, but a sexting machine too (sample: "I want you to beg for my cock. Kiss you all over to convince me to let you have it in your mouth"). We need a cigarette.
Plenty to open thread of love about this morning. Hockey, for instance. Lots of action in the East last night. The Bs went after Matt Cooke with some fisticuffs for the Savard hit, but lost the game 3-0. Sens lose to the streaking Thrash, who streaked right by the Rangers into 9th because they lost to the Blues. Buffalo beats the Bolts, maybe putting Habs' dreams of the division out of reach. Panthers lose in a shootout. And fuck the little fuckity-fuck Stars who had a two-goal lead over Philly but lost 3-2. And somehow the Leafs beat the Devils. Leafs are hot baby!
So what does it all mean for the standings and playoff chances? Fuck if we know. The stat geeks upped our playoff chances by 1.8 percentage points. We dropped to 7th because of the Flyers win. At least it means that FINALLY some other teams have played the same number of games, like the Sens who also played 71 and are only one point up on us. Rangers have also played 71 and we have a 7 point cushion on those losers.
In other hockey news, the NHL gave James Wisniewski 8 games for his hit on Brent Seabrook. Whatever. The spinning wheel of NHL justice is making us nauseous. Out in the West (like we care), the Nucks beat the Sharks. Also, we should mention it was the Yotes who were the ones who beat the Panthers, their 7th straight. We bring this up only because we want to mention that they actually sold out their Saturday game against Chicago. Phoenix is hockey-mad, I tells ya!
On the Habs front, The Urologist skated with the team yesterday for the first time. Squid is getting close to doing the same thing, saying he's in no rush considering how well the Habs are doing. And in "we don't fucking believe it" news, La Presse is reporting that The Goat has discussed with Markov's agent Don Meehan about a contract extension. "Contract extension" is something we swear we haven't heard in reference to a Hab in decades.
Top 'o the Friday morning everyone! What a fucking shitty week in Habs land. But TGISF, mofos! And since there will be jack shit happening today (knock wood), here's a little open thread of love to keep us all amused. And titillated. Don't forget titillated.
Let's see, what's going down this fine AM. Yesterday's Habs news was two-fold. First we had Vodkov and TFS hugging it out at practice. Nice pic of it over at Habs I/O, though I like our hugging pic better. If you want to tear your hair out, read Michel Bergeron's piece on RDS.ca. Here's a summary: blah blah blah, TFS is not Marty Brodeur or Patrick Roy. In the other Habs news from yesterday, it looks like BGL ain't getting anywhere near those hot Swedish babes. Very disappointing. That would have made for some Sexy Friday fun.
Elsewhere around the N, if you thought things were bad around here, you haven't been to Tronna. Players are begging to get off the team. In actual hockey action, Sens are just fucking rolling. Took care of the Pens last night, 4-1. I think that's 8 wins in a row. Holy crap. Hey anyone know who the Sens are playing next? Oh fuck me. In the East playoff clusterfuck, Thrashers beat the Flyers and the Isles lost. That leaves the Habs currently in 10th officially, but with all the games in hand it's essentially 13th.
Sorry that last line was a bit of a downer. More Sexy Friday and CHeering up! Here's a little video of poorly Photoshopped CH's on hot babes you may enjoy. Have a good one kids.
Jebus we were suffering serious meth-level withdrawal there. In this crowded schedule season, four days without a game is like a week. No matter how middling-quality this team is, we need our fix.
So, Dallas! Feel the excitement! The Little-Fuckity Fuck comes home! What's that? Recently out of the hospital and out 4-6 weeks you say? Hmm, well that sort of puts a damper on the whole excitement thing. Also sort of puts a damper on my whole "players leaving the pressure cooker of Montreal and being successful" theme for the preview. I had a real nice rant about it too, in the best HF10 tradition. Too bad for you. I hope you commentors can entertain yourselves all day.
Waiting in line to get your Leclair #17 jersey changed to a vintage Murray Wilson - 730p at the Centre of Bell. It's the teams' only meeting this year. If you look at the last 10, Habs are actually 6-3-1. Really? I thought we were worse than that. Oh look, 1-2-1 in the last 4. That's more like it. Though admittedly we may have deserved better in that OT loss. Stars are mediocre at best, 4-6 in their last 10 and a dismal 1-8-3 on the road lately. Even their best Rocky impression didn't help them in Philly Tuesday.
Ready to welcome Habs castoffs with open arms - The Other 6 Seconds tells the truth about their own team's suckage. We like that.
Hot like, well, like Gui! right now - How about that CHicken? He got his own John Loo TSN feature, with Gio comparing him to John Leclair. Oh the irony. GMC is keeping our asses alive, whatever asses we have left. Both are goalies are just fine too, excellent save% and GAA all around lately. For the Stars, I swear I never heard of Loui Eriksson, but apparently he's pretty good.
Cold like the Montreal media to the player who came back in the trade after he sucks for 2 periods - Well, it's come to this. I'm forced to put Pleks and Squid here, as they are both pointless in 4. Look, I understand they are being forced to play with Generic Underperforming Young Winger Who Should Be On The Fourth Line #1 and #2 since Tits went down, but fuck, give me something guys. For the Stars, their goalies' recent records are jokes that write themselves - 0-1-0, 3.45, .861 for Auld and 1-3-0, 3.69, .876 for Turco. And apparently Olympian Brenden Morrow sucks since he was named to the team. Go Canada!
Hurt like the little fuckity-fuck's feelings when he felt he was being treated unfairly - oh Tits, how we miss you. And more Tits. The lesser Tits did skate yesterday, though in sweats. On the plus side, BGL is back! Problems solved! I have no idea who is starting in goal. It's fucking six in the morning.
Post-game adult entertainment - Well since this post is up all day, that technically makes it an open thread of love, right?
So my most important New Year's resolution was to have more ___ open threads of love. I thought about resolving to quit meth, but this will end up being way more fun. As this is a Saturday without a Habs game to review or preview (gasp!), we figured it was a good time to get a jump on the resolutions.
So what's on your mind? Winter Classic? Fuck you Bs. Where was the damn meteor? Check out the whacky bouncy bouncy OT winning goal for the Sabres in the only other game yesterday. In other NHL news, Habs are blocking shots left and right thanks to a piece of plastic (lap dance to GG11). Still no word on the health of both of our pairs of Tits.
The Olympic lineup is all set for everyone now, with the USA announcing its canon-fodder yesterday. Brian Burke went for Dou$harek and truculence, so no Giant Mexican, no Guerin, Tkachuk, or Modano. Their veteran is Chris Drury. Good luck. In other international hockey stuff the World Juniors have quarter-finals today; Russia-Switzerland and USA-Finland should both be decent games.
Of course the Saturday open thread of love isn't jut about hockey, it's about anything. Got any NFL picks you love for tomorrow? I'm only three points out of first going into this final Sunday, so I need bold picks. Do you love NBA teammates in Mexican standoffs? I love my Gators of course, but any College Bowl game you'd like to discuss is cool. Did you love your New Year's Eve? Are you still hungover? Any Oscar-bound movies you love? Which New Years resolutions did you make and love? Or not love.
If you haven't seen them yet, you'll love the photos and videos that GG11 took live at the game against the Panthers. And finally, you can let me know if you love this random blonde chick from habsordie.com breaking down the Panthers game (lap dance to reader Ryan):
Buenos dias everyone! Fine morning for french toast and strippers. Habs beat the Sens last night. Undefeated baby! Gionta and Maxwell score, and some dude named Eric Neilson threw his fists around at a much cheaper price than BGL. But from most accounts the Habs looked pretty meh for 40 minutes. Elsewhere, Phil Kessel is a Leaf. UGH. Mike Comrie had 4 assists in his return to Edmonton, and the Sedins look good. I found a nice local piece on Saku, let's just be happy for him.
OK so while it is in fact TWOTOL, Scotty Hockey really ain't feeling the love for Gomez. Let's skip the formalities and get it over with:
I never liked Scott Gomez. Not one bit. For one, he was a Devil. For two, he was handed a seven-year deal worth $51.5 million. For that much money, you want a top 10, or even two 20 talent in the NHL. Gomez? Not even close. He was coming off of a season where he played 10 less games and scored 24 less points than the year before and had 13 goals. I'm pretty sure you are supposed to play better in a contract year, not worse. And yet he still was handed the keys to the castle (along with Chris Drury). Gomez was supposed to be the superstar center that would feed Jaromir Jagr the puck and raise the team to the next level. Instead, Jagr was pissed that Gomez replaced Nylander and the two never found any chemistry. In fact, in two seasons Gomez seemed to find no on--ice chemistry with anyone. True, he did put up 144 points in 175 games (including playoffs) but the expectations were so very much higher. The only time he came close to those was in the playoff series against the Devils where he simply dominated his former team. Seven points in five games where he consistently went to the net, he got his teammates involved and he played with passion. The next series against Cindy and the Pens he was a shadow of himself and we lost. The worst part about Gomez - in my opinion - was not that he didn't live up to expectations, not that he circled incessantly around the ice and often put linemates offsides, not that he avoided contact and dumped the puck into the corner rather than go into traffic - it was that he often smiled in postgame interviews. Sounds ridiculous, I know. But Gomez always came across as smug and arrogant, happy to cash his ridiculous paycheque, with little regard for whether the team won or lost. Gomez is proud of his Mexican heritage and more than earned the MexiCan't nickname I bestowed upon him.
Alrighty then.
Let's get back into TWOTOL mode, and there is plenty of shit going down to love like strippers sur le cuir. Habs go to Ottawa to see Kovy tonight and play the B's In Quebec City tomorrow. Tonight will have "limited action" (whatever that is) on RIS, and the Bs game is on RDS, presumably in full. Plenty of NFL, CFL, and NCAA (GO GATORS! Fuck you Lane Kiffin, but I'd like to fuck your wife). I'm sure there's Premier League to talk about, and motorsports, and locked out referees, and movies and Fringe and whatever your little hearts want to blah blah about. Let's love together.
Top 'o the morning lads and lasses! Can you fucking believe it? Hockey (sort of) starts today with all players reporting to camp for physicals and conditioning testing. Here's the full list of all 54 players who will be in camp, in handy PDF format. The fucking puck finally fucking drops in less than 3 weeks! Pinch me.
In other important Habs news, individual tickets go on sale today at noon. Tell TWOTOL what kind of experience you're having, no doubt the system will crash as usual. Around the league, the hearings are over in Phoenix-palooza, but Judge Baum is holding off on making any decision. I'm sure one will come by the time the playoffs start.
Of course, this is TWOTOL, so anything is up for discussion. Like, ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL???? Oh yeah, I love you NFL. Even though I'm already in last place in my pool. Big USC-OSU college matchup tonight. Als also have a game tomorrow. US Open hits its final weekend, weather permitting. And it's the True Blood season finale tomorrow night. TWOTOL will miss Anna Paquin's tits.
Sexy Friday and TWOTOL have your bullet points for the day after tornadoes touch down in and around Toronto and somehow miss the ACC (dammit!) ...
It's the Hockey Questionaire O' Doom! Friend of FHF and former threeway (predictions contest) participant Capschick over at A View From the Cheapseats armtwisted HF 29 and HF10 into answering hockey's version of the LSAT. Check it out and feel free to say hi. She's already been warned and has her degenerate-deflecting shields up;
Melnyk! Jimmy Balls! UFC 105 at Copps Coliseum to feature throwdown between Sens boss and Phoenix-chaser;
Dany Heatley might talk about his all-encompassing quest to break Mats Sundin's record for most drawn-out, pain-in-the-ass story everyone is sick of in Kelowna today;
Please take a moment to send some thoughts and prayers to former Hab Jose Theodore, who lost his two-month old son. Think what you want about his place in Habs history, but no one should have to go through that.
We interrupt sexy Friday and TWOTOL to announce the signing of the final piece of the puzzle. TSN reports that Bob has inked noted breakaway flubber Matt D'Agostini to a new deal, meaning this is your team, barring any stupid Eklund rumours involving the Sharks, Canucks, Sabres, Flames, Minny, LA, or anyone else he can get hits by mentioning.
Oh, Dags signed for a year, terms not released, yadda yadda. Back to looking at Bar.
29 usually mentions something about Sexy Friday, copyrights, and KSK here. Consider it mentioned.
Nothing, and I mean nothing, going on hockey-wise this morning. Wait, is Michael Vick signing with the Eagles a hockey story? Guess not. Seems like a good time to take a vacation, so we're outta here. This post is TMS, Sexy Friday and TWOTOL all rolled into one.
So yours truly is off to the land of the 56k modems for the a week of chillin'. HF10 and Panger have your back next week, as HF4 will be busy getting ready for his bachelor party wedding.
Oh btw, this is Bar Rafaeli on the set of the 2010 SI Swimsuit Issue. The Superficial has the whole set. Here's another one for you to enjoy throughout the day and weekend. Seacrest out.
