Like Us Jews Haven't Been Waiting Enough

In this undated photo, a Jewish man is seen patiently waiting for the Messiah

Mats, I just want to tell you that my tribe has done enough waiting to last a lifetime. We're done with it. We've made enormous mistakes in the throes of our waiting game.

Prance around the desert and cook bread that looks like a feeble cracker. - The Messiah never came.

Build the Temple. - The Messiah never showed up.

Rebuild the Temple. - The Messiah stood us up.

Conquer Palestinian Land, evict the Palestinians - you know, violate a bunch of human rights and all that jazz. - No Messiah.

Resist Arab aggression and firmly establish a Jewish state to coincide with the biblical depiction of Israel. - No Messiah in sight.

Defy a flurry of Arab violations of basic human rights - respond in kind with new set of infringements. - Is that the Messiah at the door? Nope.

Watch and overtly enjoy every Mel Brooks movie ever made, including Robin Hood: Men in Tights. - Hey! Well if it isn't the Messi...um, no, no that's not him. Just the mailman.

Give Yasser Arafat a small role in the musical Annie (look for him in a cameo as one of the little orphan girls - a moving performance). - I don't think he's gonna show.

Draft Mathieu Schneider. - Donde esta il messiah? (upside down question mark) Il Messiah non esta aqui.

So Mats, if you think I'm going to fall into this waiting trap again, I, no, WE, we the Jews, know better. Forget it, take your schmekel someplace else.