Habs/'Nucks Preview and Open Thread

Middle-aged Madison Avenue advertising executive Roger O. Thornhill (played here by Carey Price) is mistaken for a government agent by a gang of spies. He gets involved in a series of misadventures and is pursued across the States by both the spies and the government (Trevor Linden) whilst being helped by a beautiful blonde (not pictured, for some reason). As so begins the Hitchcockian adventure that is: NORTH(EAST) BY NORTHWEST showing exclusively at the Bell Centre tonight at 7pm EST/4pm PST

I bet TFS(tm) would have preferred running from government spies rather than continue to tend goal for the Habs over the last few games...

Finally, no more Tyler Myers or Alexi Kovalev or Charles Wang. Tonight the Habs play their first of 2 very special (i.e. league-mandated) all-Canadian matchups with the Stanley-Cup contender Vancouver Canucks. I throw in "Stanley Cup Contender" because there are lots of parallels and links between the teams, but that's not one of them:

• Both teams' most important players are their goaltenders, who were each prodigies and top-5 picks. Not just that, but each is from the other team's home province. Ooohhh, eerie.
• Both teams' attacks are led by twins: everyone knows about Daniel and Henrik, but it was recently discovered (not really) that Giant and Gomer are actually fraternal twin brothers from different mothers. While the Habs twin munchkins seem to have lost their traditional chemistry early this season, the Sedins are still rolling along together, as this **actual** photo shows:

• Both are getting unexpected scoring from late-signed third line centres (Halps and Manny Malhotra)
• Both have a disappointing veteran D (Jaro-that-should-have-been traded and Keith Ballard, who at least has the excuse of playing hurt)
• Both have underachieving "agitators" (aka "skating a-holes") in Mad Max and Alex Burrows
• Both have virtually identical average ages and sizes, and how the teams were assembles is eerily similar
• Apparently both fanbases are "annoying" - but this is coming from the Centre of the A-Hole Universe , so take it with a grain of salt. (Okay okay, the original article is from EPSN, but whatever - are you against the Leafs or not? That's what I thought.)
• Both have awesome strip clubs to relax at after games
• Vancouver is presently 6th overall in the NHL, Montreal 7th
• Vancouver stole one of the Canadiens nickname's for their own
• Vancouver stole one of Montreal's ex-coaches for their own
• Vancouver stole one of Montreal's best players - ever - when they reaquired Trevor Linden (okay maybe not, but I LOVE that guy. Ever since he won the Memorial Cup with the Medicine Hat Tigers I've been a fan, and ever since he got drafted I've had a soft spot for the Canucks)

Of course, these are all superficial similarities. Where is really counts - like for tonight's game - Montreal doesn't look so hot by comparison:

• Vancouver has won 6 in row and already scored 8 more goals
• The Sedins have 5 more points - each - than Turtlepleks
• Vancouver's "cold" list isn't virtually identical to their top two lines: besides TurtlePlek, all of Gomer, Giant, Squid and Big Tits closely resemble glaciers
• On the bright side, Vancouver's IR is longer that the Habs': top-4 D-men Dan Hamhuis and always injured Sami Salo are out. Unfortunately, Vodkov is playing like he's still on the IR - or he's just trying to make Jaro-we-should-have-traded feel better.
• Did I mention that only Vancouver can be considered a legitimate Stanley Cup contender? Oh, okay. Well it's still true.
• Have I also mentioned that SpaceKadet should have been traded instead of that other Jaro? Yeah well it needs to be said until someone listens, dammit. 

It's fair to say that this is a measuring stick game. No game 15 into the season can be said to be "key," but the Habs have already made one minor move by waiving Boyd. If they lose again tonight (say 7-1), heads might roll, or the Goat may even pull the trigger. I'm not sure about the last one - are we happy with the CHicken/Gui! trade again now with the "PhD" line and Gui! on the shelf? Whatever, I'm sure everything will be fine once they bench Gomer and promote Desharnais to the top line.

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

I have a sneaking suspicion that it won't be the last time I feel sick today. Share your nervous energy about this 'measuring stick' game in the comments.