The Sky Is Falling: BJ's 3, Habs a Big Fat Zero

"Columbus hockey on a Tuesday night!" is right up there with "Honeymoon in Ottawa!" in terms of things that marketing people may try to make sound great, but really everyone knows is gonna suck.

And last night didn't disappoint Habs' fans. So here is my Twitter review of last night's games (140 characters is all that tripe deserves):

Now Habs can't play defence or score, especially on the pp. BJs score opportunistically. Nash is a monster. I heart TFS. Trade Jaro. Breakup Gio and Gomez.

(Okay, more like 150 - guess I'm no Allan Walsh.)

So what better do I have to talk about? How about the greatest evil the Montreal pressbox has ever seen:

In case you had not figured it out yet, I HATE MARIO TREMBLAY. I will never forgive him for running St. Patrick out of town, and especially the arrogance he has shown a out it since. YOU RUINED MY FAVORITE TEAM, YOU A-HOLE. I won't rehash the painful memories of that mournful event except to say this it is obvious that the Canadiens made a horrible decision trading Roy, a decision which led to at least a decade of futility.

And now RDS has unleashed the beast upon us all, after thinking he had finally been banished to hockey hell (aka Minnesota in winter or New Jersey pretty much always). But noooooo, the "All Habs all the time" network is more interested in collecting anyone previously employed by the Canadiens than entertaining their viewers - are sparing their retinas/ear drums. The pressbox is like an ex-coach retirement home. Demers could be hokey sometimes, but at least I didn't want to punch him right in his stupid face every time he was sitting on screen next to Alain Crete. I perfer Carbo looking like a dick in the pressbox than behind he bench. But Tremblay is truly awful. And the only thing worse than looking at Tremblay's beedy little ballon of a head is listening to him talk. Blah blah blah obvious or stupid observations, followed with "Joel good point" or "Alain let me finish." You'd think he'd have something interesting to say of the team he coached last year, but that game against the Devils he was just out to lunch. Fucktard. He's actually approaching Don CHerry-ish levels of unwatchability, which I never imagined possible.

Did I mention I want to punch him right in his stupid face? On the other hand...

I still can't believe I'm going to post this, but Benoit "Homer" Brunet is actually getting to be bearable to watch. He still has the odd blinder for home-team oversights, but he's reigned in the most blatant homerisms, like bitching about penalty calls (I love the way Pierre's voice just gives away how frustrated he gets). He's actually had some decent observations, and he doesn't make it nearly as much about himself as, say, McSplooge. (And he doesn't think he's pretty, like Joel). But I still miss Yvon Pednault.

And Patrick Roy.

Fuck I hate you Mario Tremblay, with the fire of a trillion supernovae. Pile it on in the comments...