Game 4 with the Habs looking to take a stranglehold and the Bruins looking to steal home ice back and turn the tide entirely back towards them. One fan base will feel widespread panic sometime later tonight ... will it be us or them?
Panic! At the Disco: Dance kicks off at 7:00 pm tonight at the Centre Bell, on all the usual suspects. Take your gag inducing pick of the Canadian Bruinscasting Corporation featuring the xenophobic caveman stylings of former Boston Bruins Don Cherry, Mike Milbury and PJ Stock with senile Bob Cole two minutes behind the play-by-play, NESN and Versus with the homerific idiocy of Jack Edwards, or the xenophobic on the French side of the ledger wackiness of RDS (the D stands for Desharnais!). Or, sound off. Whatever works. Hey, when is CBC bringing back that Punjabi channel? Questions abound: Do the Bruins continue to dance with the fat girl that brought them, Tim Thomas? Will Chara forget to hydrate at another all night rave and dance back into the hospital? Will Ryan White dance with Milan "I'll fight you when I'm good and ready, as long as you're not really a fighter and I can get the jump on you when you're tied up with another player" Lucic? Will strippers dance for HF29 and Passover his lap?
Panic Attacks: Habs are having some success by peppering Fatso Tim Thomas with shots and waiting for him to give up rebounds bigger than his own ginormous arse. If Thomas starts getting hot, someone is going to have to drive the net and get something ugly. Cammy looks to be heating up again, the Captain is doing the job, Big Tits was a welcome addition to last game's lineup. Bruins top line of Lucic, Horton and Krejci is getting eaten alive by SuperPlexxe, but Patrice Bergeron and Brad Marchand are starting to make the Habs very nervous.
Panic Switch: All signs point to Claude Julien not being a fan of Silversun Pickups, because he doesn't look likely to go to the Panic Switch and put in Tuukka Rask this evening despite some struggles by Thomas. Check out some of the conversations over at Eyes on the Prize, where Chris notes that Thomas's virtual lack of any technique leaves him vulnerable to guessing when he's off ... and he looks off. On the other hand, if Chocula has to hit the Panic Switch and go to Alex Auld, SERIES OVER. Just saying.
Don't Panic: Carey Price, Roman Hamrlik, PK Subban and Hal Gill are the Ford Prefect to our Arthur Dent keeping things calm at the back end even when Jaro 2.0 gets a little fidgety. Bruins without Chara on the ice have no such safety towel and run around like they just heard the Vogons announce they are fragging the planet for a new intergalactic space highway.
Panic Room: Which dressing room goes full meltdown if they are trailing after two? After the Habs spirited but still unsuccessful comeback on Monday and Julien's propensity to lose his shit and look like an exasperated idiot on the bench if even the slightest thing goes awry, bet on the Bruins.
Panic Yerreault: Oh, if only the Habs could sneak a faceoff expert like former skating in quicksand but never lost a draw Hab Yanic Perreault (actually, I'd prefer to sneak in Gilbert Perreault, but whatever) to tilt the possession time a little. Maybe the possible return of Jeff Halpern might help.
Banking Panic: If high priced Mexican American, Squid and SuperPlexxe go cold, the Molsons will have a financial panic on their hands knowing extra playoff dates aren't going to put money in their pockets to pay these guys. Bruins banking panic is coming soon, what with big money tied up in Thomas, Lucic, Chara, and Horton already and decisions to make on Kaberle and Ryder and Savard in a "window is quickly closing" kind of money crunch.
Panique au village: RDS might resemble this 2009 Belgian-Luxembourg-France stop-motion film if rumours are true and Benoit Pouliot sits for some bloody English dude like Halepern. But they'll be the only ones because chicken looks like chicken shit right now. Word on the HIO is Chicken might be getting a reprieve because of other injuries. Oh shit. PANIC!!
Got any panicky thoughts for tonight? Keep them to yourself, Chicken Little. We're trying to stay positive in here.
289 comments:
1 – 200 of 289 Newer› Newest»I was wondering how Chara got the dyhids, rave on you crazy shaved ape.
PFK is going to catch that fucking little monkey Marchmouth with his head down, and re arrange all 10 inches of his nose, his fucking nose starts at his hairline and extents past his chin.
Lego scores at 3:00 and the game is over. GYGHG
Its the biggest game of the year and the first goal is important, fucking brilliant analysis there folks. GYMFBECSFHG
@HF10, Loved that BBC series, the BBC can do no wrong, I have all the Le Carre and complete works of Fawlty Towers to name a few, but I digress.
We are good, Chara helps the team with his presence but he himself did not have a good game.
I worry more about CHicken in our line up than the shaved ape missing from theirs.
Thomas is NOT what his numbers show but I am unaware as to the actual girth of his posterior region, something you seem all too familiar with!
Anyway, we got 'em right where we want 'em.
GYMFHGGGGG!
OK I'm starting to get those pre-game butterflies as I type this. That's good.
In the immortal words of Alfred E. Neuman: "What me worry?"
Fuck that shit! I plan to be comfortably numb by puck drop.
@Steve, Marchmouth's description sounds like a toucan bird! Follow your nose!!
If Pouliot and Halpern played on the same line could we call them chicken and matzo ball soup?
OK, I have to ask, just what is matzo anyway? Obviously a jewish delicacy. Just curious. In return I'll explain what rappi pie is.
rituals observed zealously
GYFHG!!
Chicken might be getting a reprieve because of other injuries
*gets into lotus position*
ommm, ommm, ommm
@Maritimer - matza is glue for your colon
@the Maritmer
Matzo is a mix between styrofoam and cardboard.... but with less taste.
Thanks 29 and GG. I did go look it up, a hard flatbread.
GG, sounds like the little holy breads we catholics have at communion. Pretty bland tasting.
You can always go old school and stream the game from CKAC (730 AM). That McGuire dude is pretty decent...
wv: Come on boys, show some preide.
I'm sort of confused as to how someone doesn't find out about Matzo until they come to a habs blog.
Then again some of my family went to Brandeis and I grew up in a suburb of Boston, so maybe that's just a cultural thing.
Anyways, GO BRUINS!
@ C.H.
Here in The Bell Province we have informative hockey blogs were we learn shit ... OK?
Was curious how fat Fat Thomas really is... Bruins site says 5'11" and 201 lbs???
There is no way that's right.
Fuck da Broons.
GYFHG!!!!!!!
Have observed all ritual superstitions today. This had better effing work...
Cant wait for the game to start, lots of bad shit coming to light today, bribes,kickbacks, well you win some you lose some, and stock up on coathangers, cause when I get my majority I will tax them out of existence to prevent abortions.
Canada needs a distraction.
I don't have a lot of rituals for Habs games... just wondering what others do.
I'm just planning to wear my jersey during the game. I didn't wear it Monday night or my mom woulda gone apesh*t that i was wearing it during the seder. And we lost. So I'm definitely wearing it tonight.
Go Habs Go!!
PS wv is pinght--- aka what happens when a Broon hits the post (Chris Kelly ftw)
@Steve - I'm getting married. How is THAT for a distraction?
wv: (for us frenchies on this blog)...Enwoye colisse, met la drette tedang!
I will be going back to my Alexander Keith Tartan Ale for tonight, as I ran out of it on Monday.
If you haven't had it before, tonight may be the night you need to hunt that fucker down.
Hi Cornelius Hardenbergh
how about some feel good news.
A fish rots at the head
@Handulf- Congratulations, I was married the same day as Chuck and Di, I expect you will be upstaging Kate and Will?
@Jenn doucumented
Wv:creepor - any caucus with John Baird and Jason Kenney.
@jenn2624
Less than he legendarily weighs. here's a picture of him earlier this week sans pads
@Jenn re: "pinght" Is Pacioretty fair game now? I've been trying to figure out when "too soon" is.
@Steve Kaberle hasn't been everything I ever wanted and more, but the move made to bring him here also gave us Game-Winning-Goal-Scoring Rich Peverley so...I'm okay with it for now. He's better than Shane Hnidy or Matt Bartkowski or Mark Stuart
@CH - As gift wrapping on my B hate,I applaud your tenacity and witty retorts. But you might wish to consider possible onset of Stockholm Syndrome.
p.s. still "too soon"
@CH I think it's too soon until he's back in the lineup. Chris Kelly is playing tonight...
wv diditip as in diditip off Tim Thomas's arse into the net?
(I would love to see that happen...)
GHG!!
@Bill 10-4
I'll have you know that after losing to the Flyers last year, I immediately started cheering for them - because I never want a Montreal team to win another game. Yes, this extends to the Alouettes, Impact, the QMJHL junior club, the Stars, everyone. Hell, I don't even want the band "Of Montreal" to do well.
addendum: But I like you guys <3
Hi Cornelius Hardenbergh
You make me feel like a failure cause I cant hate the Dropkick Murphies.
@steve BostOwned
29, 'lotus' or foetus?
GYFHG!
i like many positions
TWO AND A HALF HOURS PEOPLE
Bring the Hate.
Hi Cornelius Hardenbergh you have classless leadership, and will never win with losers like Neely, I am sure he goes down to the dressing room and talks about all the cups he won, and I love how he stomps off every time the bruins lose.
OH I cant wait Mr Bill
FUCK THE BS. FUCK THE BIG SHAVED GORILLA. FUCK JULIEN. FUCK FATBOY SLIM TIM THOMAS. FUCK BOSTON. FUCK THE SOX. FUCK FANEUIL HALL. FUCK EVERYTHING MASSHOLE-RELATED.
im trying Chester. im still 420-hungover tho, so all this is amusing to me
Fuck the Toucan, to bad he has cement hands or he would be dangerous.
Fuck the shaved Ape, was he not one of the guards Hostel the movie
Fuck Pretzel, even though it seems he is playing for us.
@HF29 you can yell and scream and stomp and shout...
...but I won't disagree about faneuil hall, that place is the worst tourist trap in Historic Boston.
Our 420'd 29 is gonna be even more mind boggled when they light the ice on fire tonight.
@ corney, must be tough to have so many Montrealers on your primate team.
Can you take the "great don cherry" back. We don't really like him around here.
FUCK DA BA-BROONZ
GO YOU MOTHER FUCKING HABS GO!!!!!
1 hour 52 minutes.....
1:43....aarrrhhhh....
The worst part of moving back to Toronto is no RDS so I have to put up with Bob Cole the whole time.
GO HABS GO!!
@ Jenn, get Star Choice, le classique package $19.95, add sports $4.00 (tsn, sportsnet, ect) you get all the games for under $30 a month.
and really really fuck the bruins
GYMFHG
1:23.....
@ti-cul I would love to but I moved back in with my parents. We have Rogers Digital cable or whatever it's called. Not sure how much it would cost to add RDS, but we have TSN and Sportsnet already. And CBC of course.
Oh well.
Go Habs Go!!
ONE HOUR
(-ish)
Puck drop is at 4:20 PST!
@moe - loud and cle.. hey some geese just flew by...kewl
On Monday I watched the game over at a French friend of mine who only watches RDS. At one point he started flipping the channels (most likely after the 3rd goal) and landed on an English channel showing the game. After a minute or two, he says to his roommate, "I didn't know we got the Boston channle!" His roommate replies, "Me neither, but change it, I can't take all this Bruin bullshit anymore." I had to speak up, "Actually, this is the CBC".
True Fucking Story.
wv: ingest. The Habs will ingest the Bruins tonight.
cbc/hnic is the Olive Garden of hockey coverage, huge portions (of leafbruins) and it tastes like shit.
Surprised no one today said hey mike richards, Shut The Fuck Up! you whining little bitch!
So let me, hey mike richards, Shut The Fuck Up! you whining little bitch!
Half an hour til game time!!
wv reddi as in I'M REDDI FOR THE EFFING GAME TO START ALREADY, time move faster please
GHG!!
@moe I second that.
Why can't the game start yet? I'm ready...
GHG!!
I would only like to ask for another thoroughly competent performance from the Habs tonight.
That is all
Thank you
Now GYMFCHG!
FHF Commentariat!
I need your help / advice / superstitious mojo.
My "lucky" Habs sweater lost on Monday. Do I:
A) wear it again in hopes it was just having an off day and that it'll return to its lucky glory? I've lost track of it's record, but it's good.
B) wear my Habs jersey? The jersey has an unproven playoff record but it's regular season record is just above .500
C) pull out the Koivu tee? I haven't worn it since the last game of the playoffs last season because I feared it's mojo was going and I have too much respect for Saku to let it dwindle.
Habs are something like 2-13 when there's no Habs gear on me, so please help!
@Sonia - You need to wash the loss right out of that t-shirt ASAP!
GYFHG!!! Get 'er done, boys!
*starts praying ritual*
@Sofia, if you have a Habs tattoo, that'll do, otherwise A+B+C.
Sofia*
iRiRi meant @Sofia and whilst here, Sofia, take a cue from our iRiRi and streak!
Sofia its got to be B. Koivu Karma is just going to make Mexicant worse, and A did not do the trick.
Fucken hope its all biz at the drop tonite, no fucking Madison Ave bullshit, Mr Molson Vagina is reporting a dry feeling about elimination, so that should make him go natural.
@iRiRi: Don't worry! Everything that has a loss on it has been washed.
@moeman: No Habs tattoo ... yet. ;)
I've gone for a Koivu-tee and Habs hoodie combo (A and C above). I will not hesitate to change in a second though if this isn't working.
Halte là, halte là, halte là, les Canadiens sont là!!!
@Steve: I'm just worried about option B) The jersey is just over .500, and everything else has a major winning record.
But I'm willing to do a flash-change if I need to!!
cbc/hnic can't even be bothered to do a playoff pre-game show. Fucking cockroaches.
Jesus Christ Chicken if by some Miracle of remuneration, hey its almost easter and resurrection beats everything. I mean why should I worry about gas at $1.50 a liter is some years ago Jesus rose from the dead and was not even a fucking Zombie.
So Chicken if you are on ice, you had better play like GOD (or Larry Smith) was up your ass.
@Sofia if you over 18 post those changes
4 minutes in and CBC making me sick already
@HF29: *sniff* the poetry of your 4:40 post moved me in a way that only Mrs. n ....and the occasional crack whore can.
SIC ya Broon PHucks!
Die Die Die!!
Hey shaved apeman eat my ass.
Thomas, most overrated goalie since since Crystalballs.
OMG OMG OMG!!!
OK Ok OK .
GYMFHG!!
PANTS!
That is all.
Mr. n
pocket rocket!
Pocket!
Light that fucking spliff!
Richards rule, clone that DNA now you PQ fucks.
But this is exaclty the shit they should not be doing in the first fucking round, fuck Mr Molson;s Vejay is going to make love farts
Love the Pocket Rocket!! Come on, come on, Habs you can do this!!
GHG!!
Go Habs Go.
Habs win(*) and we'll all go streaking together!
*the Cup
I'm feeling nauseous. That's how I felt before Thurs/Sat games so it's all good.
Thank God no one is booing the US anthem. Sad I even need to type that.
Fuck all those lights and cheap fucking shit, you think ice likes hot fucking symbol ice, it slows our guys down fuck fuck play fucking hockey first lights later
Thank God no one is booing the Canadian anthem. Sad I even need to type that.
i feel nauseous like iRiRi
Danny Gallivan!!!!!
oh crap, Bob Cold
Segueing from Danny Gallivan to bob cold, like jumping off a cliff.
So Joel Bouchard gets the prime spot in between the glass and Darren Pang is forced into the hallway? Hilarious.
Darche must have a pulled groin. He can't move and he is trying.
Looking good for victory
Funniest moment pre-game was when Freidmen or whatever his name is says the Broons weren't panicking after being down 2-0 because they know how to get back from 3-0 from last year. Wait, isn't that like saying you know how to rain by getting wet?
Gotta bury one boys.
SOAP!!!!!!!!
SOAPY!!!!
Sopel!
SAOP-O-DOPPLE!
Sopel*!!!
*Do we have a nickname for him?
YEAHHHH!!!!!!
Soap on a Rope from the Mexican, fucking Gomez playing tonite
WOOOOOOOOOO!!!
SopelonaRopel.
sopes with the goal!!
GHG!!
DDD and Squid with the helpers.
so it was not Gomez but he is on fire tonite
Plan the god damm parade already
Wow, Thomas somehow made that save look incredibly difficult.
Thomas bobbles that and falls backwards, Squid just stands there and watches? It was a late whistle, too. Not pleased with that effort.
48 minutes of System! woooo!
PK hasn't done so hot trying to get the puck out.
i'd like a whole team of Gios
Fuckin' buzzin' out there.
15-4 SOGs.
Me likey! Keep it going!
action man, we are killing them
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Oh, sorry, just getting into things. It's like I'm there!
Refs doing their part to get the Broons back in the game.
Come on, kill this shit off.
DD great job on Chara.
DDD on chara was hilarious!
GREAT kill. Habs refuse to bow to the league office
bettman is shorter than DDD.
Fuck you bruins your ROAD KILL
They are fucked they have no will to live, GHG
I love all these montages of what the Broons are doing wrong. The Habs aren't doing anything right, nope, the Broons just aren't playing to their potential.
Did you just see that Boston propaganda about wins by goalie, I want my tax money back, vote JACK
Wow where did heely pull that stat, oh yeah hnic's production crew stat. fuckers.
Old fucker bob cold looking for the hnic's Bs to score with 15 secs left. Drool you fool.
Fantastic first period.
Nice hard slapshot from centre at Price/group of Habs. Stay classy, boston.
Soap on a Rope got a 420 buzz on today, just look at his eyes
DDD skating through Bruins is pretty awesome.
Oh how I wish there was someone that could cash in on those Timmy rebounds (*cries*Patches).
Also Chara looks seriously ill...
Wow, even better than period 3 of Monday ... though for last few shifts it looked like they took their foot off the gas ... hope that Capt. Kirk shouts at them for a minute or two not to forget the honour that is at stake.
Gomer looked really good their, playing like he cared. And I love Eller.
Le12 knows, LEGO is it.
Classy CHallah interview. Classy.
“Bergeron’s tough. I don’t think I won a faceoff against him. I have a tough time with the righties. I’m starting to figure out Krejci and Campbell’s the only leftie and I think I won most of them against him.” – Montreal center Lars Eller on faceoffs.
So FHFers, any of you think Doug Jarvis is a traitor? Every person needs a job but still.
That hurt.
FUCK. ryder
oh carey, not so good there
FUCK.
That's not protecting the lead.
Tabarnouche :(
GO YOU HABS GO!!
Ah shit.
Come on, let's get that one back.
Not. Giving. Up.
Um. Bury. One. Boys.
S Q U I D !!!!!!!!!
SQUID!!!!!!
SQUID!!!
Did I take a Delorian home and arrive in 1976? Cause who are these Habs?!
WOOOO YESS!!!
GO HABS GO!!!
CAMMY W/ THE GOAL!
27-10 are the shots with 13 mins left in the 2nd. Holy shnickies!
T I T S !!!
TITS!!!!!!!
/faints
BIG TITS!!!
I am so happy. So very happy.
JM says "Fuck the System".
SWEET another goal!! yeah!!
27-10? And still no PP. Hmmmm.
Hahaha. I especially love when Thomas gives up a five hole goal.
Bury these fuckers!!!!!!!
Habs smell blood in the water, the crowd smells blood in the water, and I love it!!
Don't let them off the mat tonight, boys. Boston's rattled and you're playing awesome.
GYFHG!!
Fucking Hab-killer Peverley had me worried for a moment there.
Upcoming penalty ... bettman called?
They haven't called a thing all fucking game. Just sayin'.
That'll learn me to listen to bob cold.
Gomer just threw a check
/faints
FUCK
ouCH
Fuck.
CRAP
Shit.
Go Habs Go!!
ive gone from elated to freaking out in 30 seconds
29, is HF420 taken?
Yup, the nausea comes and goes in waves.
at least CBC recognizes a middle finger ain't classy
gary galling laughing it off, the finger gesture, go fuck yourself ferrence.
okay buttman on the phone, roaming charges and everything
amp it up FFS.
How in the world was that icing? Here we go....
i cant deal with 23 and a half more minutes
Mex you are paid millions to look, fuck look
*or more, obvs
/shudders
Damn.
FUCK
WAKE UP YOU FUCKERS
*pukes*
Aiyaiyai...
At least galling is happy.
I am sad. I am so very sad.
I miss The System.
nice interference linesman
Where is McPhee we need the plan man, its all part of the plan
cbc/hnic doesn't deserve to cover Canadiens playoff hockey.
Well first two period did not matter a fucking bit, were back to first goal wins and its the biggest period of the year, fuck I am insightful
Oooookay. I feel sick, too.
Deep breaths. Some good old-fashioned yelling and head-shaking in the lockerroom and come out hard in the 3rd.
After they scored 3 they stopped working and went back to period 1 of game 3. C'mooon where's the COMPETENCE!
Also back to the perfect little angels in black and gold. How long does Chara have to hold Halpern before someone raises a hand? 2 days? 10 years? How about that elbow on Subban? And fuck you too, Ferrence. You can thank Total Eclipse of Pylon Hamrlik for your knuckleball goal.
Its a brand new day, in the third, we are a better team, we will win, we will win, we will win. GHG
So I'm driving home and listening to the game on CJAD. 3-1 woot! Got in the house did a couple of things then turned on the TV. FFS. This team makes me (more) crazy.
Roll Call, GHG
Look Eller is on the site right now, I know it, I heard from his parents, they love the nickname Lego, so much more than Larry GHG
GYMFHG!!11!!
i need a drink. er, another drink
OK so it's exactly as it was at 10 after 7 again, but instead of 60 minutes there is only 20 and if any team can play a 20 minute game it's the Habs.
GYFHG!
i hate this PHucken' Broon team , giving the finger what a classless piece of shit, this ain't the NBA!
Mrs. n keeps coming in to check on the game and well I really don't want o put it in print 'cause she knows I'm Mr. n but PHuck she should stay the PHuck out of the movie room.
Anyway we'll pull it together and outscore them 2-1 or 1-0 in the third.
I'm way too drunk to type, this has taken me 15 minutes.
Pants!
i really don't feel well
FINALLY a penalty. CASH IT
PFK!!!!!!!!!!!!
PFK!!!!!!!!!
PFK!!!
PFK!!!!!!!!!!!!
PFK!!!!!!!!!!!!
PFK!
adkfafjdjadl;sfadl;sfafadsadfsadfs adfsklfkl;jafkl;jadfskl;jadsfadjsfadl;fs
PFK
PFK!!!!!!!!!!!!
A goal so nice, moe had to celebrate twice!
CMON SYSTEM
Celebrated quadrice!!!!!!! PFK!!!!!!!!!!!!
If there ever was a system mother of mercy deploy it now
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