The Game Day Skate for Game 4... with Pictures!

Habs fans in Blueshirt country - thanks to FHF friend and commentor Damion who sends in this photo of ballerinas and lawyers watching Game 2 in his Big Apple apartment. Two points of note: Damion is the only Canadian amongst all these Habs fans, and you can see his prized posession, his old Forum white seat, in the bottom right corner.

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of a Marilyn Monroe sex tape...

• Fork, meet the Sens' season. Even with Alfie's return, Sens lose 4-1. We don't like to give up on teams down 3-0, especially those supported by our internet BFF, but even he has given up, so I guess we can to;
• Preds get back in the series with a 2-1 win over the Wings;
• It looks like TMS is missing a hell of a series out West. Wild beat Avs to go up 2-1 in a series where every game has gone to OT;
• Canucks dump GM Dave Nonis. Remember the good lod days when just the coach got fired for missing the playoffs?
• Great, now that Sean Avery has a rule named afer him, he's gonna be even more of a douchebag / dick / fuckwit / asshat (thanks for the swear words, ladies of FHF).

Alright, time for dicking around is over. Time for our best players to show up. Turtleplek himself admits he "played like a little girl out there." Time to elevate his play to a tween boy.

HF10 Sums Up Our Feelings About Last Night

This morning yours truly asked if anyone had a review of last night's game. HF10 quickly responded with:

Yeah, I got a review:

Other than Greek Lightning and TFS, everyone fucking sucked last night. Bad Kovy is back. Doom made some nice hits and spent most of the night out of position. Milan Lucic is a little fucker and rapidly climbing my most hated player list.

However ... the Habs have played two absolute garbage games in a row, and the Bruins have only got one overtime win to show for it. Get their heads screwed on straight again, and this is still over in five. Carbo? Over to you.

Maybe we'll talk more later, maybe we won't. But that about sums up our feelings right about now.

The Morning Skate for Monday, April 14th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of a curling world championship. Hey, someone must have that dream...

• When does a 2-1 series lead make TMS feel like shit? When the Habs suck (The SlowGreekBang Line excepted). We got some good playoff hockey in a 2-1 OT loss, but that's about all we can say. More later today;
• On the other hand, Flames have all sorts of effort in coming back from 0-3 down to win 4-3. Curtis Joseph gets the win for Calgary. Did I read that right? He's still in the league?;
• Devils get back in their series with a 4-3 (OT) win. Oh, and Sean Avery is a dick. But I guess that's not news;
• Mighty Caps can't score, Flyers win 2-0.

Panic time!

Game 3: The Series Shifts to Boston for The Baddest Game of Them All - Game Preview and Open Thread

This is THE game kids. By the end of it, it's either a series or an almost-done deal. There is no bigger game than game 3, uh, or game 5. Game 7 is pretty big too.

This is what you need to know:

• the game is at 7pm at the TD Banknorth Fleet Centre Boston Garden


• Mike Milbury is an idiot


• The Habs top ranked power play bailed them out of a significant amount of fecal matter, but it stands as their only PP marker of the series. Boston figured it out maybe, after 12 games?


• Carey Price stood on his head, or rather on Garth Brooks' cowboy hat, in Game 2. People, with all the history this franchise has to offer, its number 1 goalie has Garth Brooks painted on his mask, and we haven't said a thing about this yet?


• This game is huge.


• The Thunder Rolls.


• Tim Thomas played a great game in Game 2. That's enough, Tim Thomas.


• Alexei Kovalev, star of the newly released DVD, AK 27, needs to give Pleks a boost and fully revive this first line.


• Chris Higgins should drink a concoction of Base, Fuel, Red Bull and a latte from Starbucks and kindly proceed to wake the fuck up.


• Ef-fuckin'-haristo, TK, we didn't know what kind of jewel we had on our hands.


• If we win, Saku will be enjoying more champagne and chocolate foot massages at Spa Diva.

Habs community, readers of this weblog, let us unite in comment in our drive for a 3-0 lead.

Habs Don't Deserve Shit: Listless Effort 3, Hard Workin' B's 2 (OT)

We've got another game to look forward to in less than 10 hours, so there is no time for niceties (like yours truly ever holds back). Habs were outworked and outplayed last night. Point final. We won because of TFS and the refs gave us enough PP's eventually we had to score one. Let's take a look at the storylines:

TFS is God - 37 saves. Lots on in-close chances. As all around him were crumbling, he just stood in there and did what he had to do. Playoff goaltending at its best. In his second NHL playoff game. At 20 years old. Excuse me, I need a tissue.

Kovy: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly - The Good was the redemption he got scoring the OT winner, and the magnificence in the offensive zone as he did all the work on Little Tits' 2nd period goal. The Bad was his inability to do much on the PP until the OT winer. The Ugly was what he got redemption from, his stupid retaliation slash that got him two minutes and got the B's the tying goal. Veterans who do that shit in the playoffs should be benched. Good thing Kovy refuses to go back to the bench most of the time, so he was on the ice to score the winner.

Open your fucking eyes - the refs were, uh, not good. They missed what they needed to see, they saw what they needed to miss. Both teams could rightfully complain on this night.

Other crap - Markov played like it. Must have had a bad pre-game meal, because he shat his way across both zones. The PP, given every chance to win the game, even thought they finally did, was tentative and weak throughout. May have something to do with Slowinski getting major minutes on it. Whoever picked the 3 stars was the ultimate homer. The stats sheet says we had 28 giveaways. That can't be good. Ryder and Higgins need to show up soon.

Just so I can't be accused of being completely negative - I thought Hamr had a great game in both ends. The Kosto-Slowinski-Bégin line continued to be the spark. We're up 2-0, I guess that's something.

See you in a few hours. At least I don't have to get on a plane. Who came up with this joke of a schedule?

Some Pre-Game 2 Yada Yada and Open Thread

I've got a real problem people. Apparently the number of free photos of non-nude half decent-looking strippers on the Web is limited to about 82. Until I find a new source, sorry for the posting of non-nude half decent-looking random women like the one here.

You know it struck me at the beginning of the playoffs that doing a traditional form preview for each playoff game against the same team for 4-7 games seems a bit like a waste of time (or a lot of work for my lazy ass). So until we find a new format, I'm just gonna ramble for a bit. We gotta talk about the game somewhere! I mean, I think you know the game is at 7 at the Bell Centre, so I don't need to tell you. You're all hockey fans, so you know the Habs have won 12 in a row overall against the B's. And you saw Game 1, so I don't need to tell you either that Slowinski and TFS continued their good play from the end of the year, and there were Tits everywhere. I'd like to see the Habs PP score a couple tonight - that was the only real disappointment from Game 1. I'm looking for some sort of line up notes, but I don't see or hear anything. I've got idiot rambling callers on Team 990 instead of you know, some real information. Don't expect many line up changes anyway. I think this series will start to get real chippy starting in the second period tonight. I think the stupid topic of the Olé song has generated some of the most intelligent discussion we've had around here. Keep it going in the comments. Go hockey.

The Game Day Skate for Game 2 of the ECQ

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of living with Vanilla Ice...

• Last night had some damn fine exciting games, so TMS couldn't resist popping in on a Saturday. The Mullet breaks it all down in video form;
• Oh Sens, I am really feeling your pain. You put on a glorious comeback from 0-3 down, spurred on by Gerber's excellence (seriously!) but lose 5-3. Maybe SLC can sort it all out. Damn I wish I had read his rant before he erased it;
• Ovie-tme! CapsChick has a nice photo;
• It was the Wild's turn to win in OT;
• Rangers beat Devils again. I'm trying to ignore that series for fear of contracting narcolepsy.

Alright Game 2 tonight. I think this city needs some perspective. Sure, we have a nice win, but it's one fucking win you know?

15 to go

1 down, 15 to go.

While we Habs fans outside Montreal may not have the opportunity to feel the electricity in the world's greatest city during this playoff run, but we're doing to do are darndest to load up the Habs' bandwagon out West. Thanks to Bryan and the rest of the Habs' fans at the Rose & Crown for hosting what he hope to be at least 16 games of domination.

PLAN THE PARADE: :34 freaking seconds into his first ever playoff game, Little Tits shows us why he might be the Habs most important young gun, setting the tempo for the series banging in a rebound from Breezer's point shot. Less than 2 minutes later, Big Tits scored the eventual game winner on a nice feed from Turtleplek, who played like a man possessed early on. TFS is beat on a deflection to make it a game for a little while, but plays like the Franchise Savior the rest of the way, stopping 17 of 18 shots, most from beyond the faceoff circles. So much for the value of playoff experience.

Steve Bangin' hammers Count Chocula at every turn, who was a non-factor as the boos rained down once again - way to go Bell centre crowd, we're proud of you, premature Ole chants notwithstanding (don't fuck with the hockey gods, people!) Tiny Tim probably deserved better on both, but fuck the little midget. Slowinski continued his late-season surge with the Habs third goal, and Greek Lightening ices the Habs first '08 playoff win in the third with a nice knee-on-the-ice rifle from the slot. Habs manage to mangle a 5-3 late in the third when the game is already decided. They're saving it for when it matters.

1-0 series lead for the good guys. The Big Bad B's weren't really in it.

The Sky is Falling: well it may have been in Calgary (10 centimeters of snow on April 10? WTF??), but not in Montreal. Even Breezer's presence in the lineup will be forgiven on this night.

Chez Paree Bound: the Game stars when to Vodkov, Hamr and Greek lightening. No arguments here. Hamr especially steps up his physical game (6 hits) while DOOM takes it relatively easy, nursing his (obviously still injured) hip.

Back on Stage Saturday: Game two back at the Bell Centre. Habs need to keep their foot on the gas. We'll see if Coach Julien can make some adjustments, like finding a new first scoring line. The "other" Patrice may be back to help in that department.

The Morning Skate for Friday, April 11th

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of your flight being cancelled...

• Play Your Tits Off indeed. Habs take game one 4-1, thanks to the brothers Tits' early goals. More later today, duh;
• Sharks turn their series around in a hurry with a 2-0 win over the Flames;
• The little fuckity-fuck gets 2 assists in the Stars' 4-0 win;
• We're ignoring Detroit out of respect for of our StLGT brothers.

Friday. Habs up 1-0. TMS is in a good mood.

Just Drop the Motherfucking Puck Already - Game 1 Open Thread

Nothing left to say. If you want a preview, scroll down for posts from the last two days. A couple of quick notes, and it goes without saying they are in bullet point form:

• DOOM is in, Rhino, Franky B and Saku are out. Breezer would appear to be in, despite repeated FHF attempts to put a hit on him. For the B's, Savard will be a game-time decision;
• The fine folks over at St Louis Game Time, their pathetic excuse for a team on the golf course, have adopted the Habs for the playoffs because the FHF are just so fun and friendly. Be sure to taunt them if they stop by;
• Where's my meth?

Let's do this thing. Go hockey. Pants.