Sunday, December 02, 2007

Maybe Obelix Can Play D
Preds 5, Habs 4 (SO)

Yours truly was "lucky" enought to attend last night's game. As it says in the sidebar to your right, HF33 and I share season tix so we can "see the Habs suck in the flesh." Well, mission accomplished.

Plan the parade - hmm, we got a point, leaving us just 4 points out of the division lead. (no, really, that's true.) Gui! erupted for 2 goals and threw his body around a bit. The line of Player X, Player Y and Player Z had some real highlights (I think I mean Kovy, Higgins, and Pleks, but it was really hard to keep track). Chips deserves a mention here, he was great as always, no matter who Carbo and his random line assignments puts him with.

And HF29 "friend" Soylent learned a valuable lesson about what you say and don't say out loud at a game when you are up by 2 goals with three and half minutes left. Let's hope he's not the only one who learned something from this game.

The sky is falling - you may want to sit down and grab a cocktail, this could take a while. Not the sky is falling part, that is actually happening quite quickly, laws of gravity be damned.

Let's start with the shots against, 44, including 20 in the 3rd. WITH A 3-0 LEAD. No really, how can you give up 20 shots with a 3-0 lead in the 3rd. When you are coached by one of the top 5 defensive forwards to ever play the game??? That is a complete collapse of any sort of organization on D, and any sort of effort. I could see the whole thing collapsing in the 3rd from my seat in the whites. Carbo is down at ice level, so I am assuming he saw it even better. FUCKING DO SOMETHING COACH. Call a timeout, scream at your players, put Streit back on D, scream at the refs (I know you know how to do that), ANYTHING. You know, what a coach is supposed to do.

The one thing that really stuck out amongst all the other sucking was our inability to shoot a puck 10 feet to clear the zone. A hockey rink is 85 feet wide, a hockey puck is 2 inches in diameter. That means there are 510 possible unique spaces to clear a puck. You should be able to find one of the spaces that doesn't have a stick of an opposing player.

OK what's next. How about Carbo putting names in a hat, pulling out 3 at a time and coming up with some lines? How else do you explain Koivu, Smolinski, and Streit? No really, that was a line. I did have high hopes for Ryder Grabs Big Tits (so many euphemisms there!), but it was a bust. Grabs looked like a Pee Wee B player playing in Midget AAA. Ryder had some effort, but may not score again in my lifetime. Well, until he gets traded to the Flyers and pops 55 in a season.

Some may blame Huet for especially one in the 3rd and not being so great in the SO, but I won't join that chorus. He was totally left alone. And through 2 periods he was the one most responsible for the 3-0 lead. By the end of the 3rd and the SO, there was no doubt he was tired.

If you want to blame someone, blame the defense. Or whatever passes as D on the Habs now. With all my forward line bashing, I didn't even mention Carbo shook up the blue line pairings too. Markov and Breezer together! Brilliant move coach! Why don't you just put 2 pylons out on the ice, they would have had a better chance. Pylons wouldn't have given up as many odd-man rushes, that's for sure.

Chez Parée bound? If they're lucky, they get the privilege of cleaning up the vomit of drunken American visitors off the bathroom floor.

-4 lap dances out of 10. I dont have any answers anymore.

Next evil, evil foe - we better find answers quick, with the Red Wings coming to town Tuesday night.


Anonymous said...

I think I'm gonna puke

Anonymous said...

I'm too pissed to puke - I only have so much bile and I'm no wasting it on the Habs right now.

Jordi said...

Really I'm impressed but mostly enthusiastic about Chipchura. I've been waiting for his time, and while he hasn't exploded and anything he does is never really considered a great achievement, well he's chugging along like a little train.

RE: Carbo and the hat game - I'm waiting for a three center line to see what would happen then.

Baroque said...

Cheer up. You get the Wings' backup on Tuesday - Hasek!

Chris Osgood has been much better this year for Detroit.

Anonymous said...

So this looks interesting...RDS is reporting...

"Halak recalled to sub for ill Price"