Get Out Your Calculators Kids

So the NHL salary cap for the coming year is going to be $50.3 million. Wow. From 39 mill to over 50 in 2 years. Seems fishy for a league that has like, zero revenue.

I am too tired at the end of a Friday to figure out what this all means for the Habs. Maybe it means we actually could sign Brière? Oh, jeebus. One week of blogging about the Habs and we're like the francophone media already.

We'll hit the Excel spreadsheet over the weekend to get this all sorted out.

Goodbye Mr. and Mrs. Souray, Montreal Will Miss You

A kind reader sent along this video in response to our Angelica Bridges post on Wednesday. As you know by now, she's the wife / ex-wife / estranged wife / reconciled wife (seriously which is it?) of soon-to-be L.A. King Sheldon Souray. Apparently she is a singer as well as an actress/model (multi-talented!), and this is her pop group, Strawberry Blonde. Heh.

While there is no nudity per se (FHF has a no nudity policy, who knew?), there are definitely plenty of NSFW moments for the boys on a Friday afternoon. Goodbye, Sheldon and Angelica. Your surgically-repaired wrist firing cannons from the point and hot bod, respectively, will be missed.

The Morning Skate for Friday, June 29th

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of Mats Sundin scoring in OT of a Game 7 against the Habs...

• Panger's part two of the Hunt for Red First Line Center. Seriously East-coasters, you slept through this given Panger's West coast posting schedule. It's well worth scrolling down two inches to read it;
• Your 2007 HOF class is Messier, Francis, McInnes, and Stevens. To see a Hartford Whaler go into the Hall for some reason makes me ferklempt;
• RDS calls Brière's chances of signing with the Sabres "practically nil". Easy boys, HE'S NOT COMING;
• Countdown to UFA period in hours - 41. Makes me think of, hmm, Brent Gilchrist?

I'm sure we'll have some more UFA thoughts and a special goodbye to Sheldon Souray, so check back in often. What else you gonna do, work?

Looking out for Number One, Part Two

So welcome to the, um, "highly anticipated" second instalment of FHF's look at the Habs UFA options for a first or second line centre. Available players out of the Western Conference are on deck today. (What's the hockey equivalent of "on deck"? "Next off the bench"? ""At the Zamboni doors"? I'll have to think about that one.)

Robert Lang

Another guy I loved last summer. I was hoping Gainey could pull off an Aebischer/Zednik deal for him, but it looks obvious today why Kenny Holland wouldn't bite on a package like that. Anyhow, this year he's a UFA and by the looks of it Detroit is ready to cut him loose. Upside is he energizes AK27 and provides that famous "big body presence" up the middle which the Habs currently lack in spades. He'll be 37 this season, and his point totals are one the downside, but if he puts up40-50 points playing with Kovalev and can line up against other big centers, I still think he'd be a good option. Of course, as always in the New NHL, the bottom line is in dollars. I see another Jason Arnott scenario unfolding: some team is going to step up and open the vault because he's a proven scorer with size. So what if he's not putting up the same point totals; just look at Bobby Holik. Outside the obvious top end candidates like Briere and Gomez, he seems like the next best option.

Michal Handzus

He'll probably re-sign in Chicago and spend the season watching Samsonov skate laps around the edge of the offensive zone, which will somehow cause Tuomo Ruutu's wrist to break as Sammy breezes by him on th 15th lap. Handz brings allot of the same attributes as Lang, but younger and much, much better hair. I'm talking out-of-this-world, young Jagr in his prime hair. Hockey Player hair. Hair a hockey player would be proud of. I think what I'm saying is that I like his hair. Although I'm not sure there is enough Pantene Pro-V in the Province of Quebec for both Handzus and Maxim Lapierre.

Bryan Smolinski
How many teams does a player have to play for before he can be described as a "journeyman"? Smolinski's no Brent Ashton or Michel Petit, but he's been around about as much as say, a 17-year old Lindsay Lohan. Smolinski is at eight clubs right now, and I feel confident enough to officially call it: Bryan Smolinski is a journeyman. And Gainey ain't looking for no journeymen. (Complete this sentence: If ever there was a "journeyman" GM, it's...?? Anyone more than twice? I'm sure I've forgotten one but I don't think there are a plethora. Even in hockey, Marx was right: it's better to be in management. Although the title does apply to coaches, right Mike Keenan?)

Wes Walz

Some may argue he, too, is a journeyman. But here's a guy who made it to the NHL at the age of 30, and has become an integral part of the Wild franchise. He's an all round player with heart ... ok seriously, its just about the name. Come on, how can you not add a guy with a name like "Wes Walz". Weeesss Waaaalllzzzz. "Walz waltzes in and scores!" "What do the Habs forth line and a good Contractor have in common? Streit Walz." (Roll it around on your tongue a couple of time; you'll get it. I bet you'll like it, too.) Anyway, great name. A Wild name, though.

Pierre Turgeon

I just ate my tie. My own tie.

Petr Nedved

Only if its the 1995/96 version. Remember when he was good? Was that when he played for the Czech Republic? Or Canada? Or for the Czechs the second time? Seriously, how can the IIHF allow a player to be a international slut like that? (See how I passed up the "Eastern-European male Lindsay Lohan joke right there? Yeah, I' proud of me, too.) Pick a team, Petr. And here 's a nickel, buy an "e". I figure a nickel is enough in Prague, where he'll be playing next year.

Eric Lindros

In 2084, in a room alone are HF33 and his great-grandson:

Greatgrandson: "Great Grandpapa, tell us a story about when you were young."

SuperOldHF33: "Well, I do remember one story, in the summer of 2007, I was there, that warm summer afternoon in July, and I saw it all unfold before my eyes. They called it, 'The Lindros Riot'...."

Peter Forsberg

...drooling...

But no way. He's going somewhere comfy to rest his feet. I'd love to see Forsberg and Drury reunite with Sakic in Colorado for one last run. But only if they buy-out Theo. No Cup for you!

So post-July first FHF's going to look at what we got - or what options remain if he didn't. (Hint: Patrick Marleau)

Bruins to change jerseys; Still suck at everything else hockey-related

Big news out of Boston, where the hated B's and their skinflint owner have accidentally done something right by changing the horrible jerseys they have sported lately back to something resembling the "classic" (and by classic, I mean the Orr-Espo-O'Reilly-Cashman years, the era those lunchbucket carrying gorillas consider their golden age ... after all, they won 2 (2!) cups, lost in a huge upset to an even more thuggish Flyer team, and were on the wrong end of the most famous too-many-men penalty ever) Bruins togs.

You just know Jeremy Jacobs did it for the cash, and not the right reason, which is as follows:

The Bruins, an original six franchise, used to have a cool looking jersey. They saw dollar signs and changed it to something that looked like it was created using an ECHL jersey starter kit, then compounded the problem by introducing a mustard yellow third jersey with Smokey the Bear's severed head as the logo. Their jersey needed to be changed so that they weren't embarassing their Original Six brethren, all of whom have top ten jerseys style-wise . At least now they are only propping up the bottom of the standings, not the apparel sales too.

You just know whatever fans the B's have left will buy these things in droves. You know TD Banknorth Garden will still only be half-full, so Jeremy Jacobs will sell off Patrice Bergeron for 50 cents on the dollar. You know the Habs will still step on the Bruins necks all next year no matter what they're wearing. Tim Thomas could come out dressed like fucking Batman and he's still giving up at least 5 goals next time he visits the Bell Centre.

Sorry Hamilton, Looks Like You're Stuck In Leafs Nation

So it looks like Balls-Silly is not getting his wish. No matter how many crackberries you sell, you cannot escape the reach of Harold Ballard from beyond the grave.

TSN is reporting that the Preds have found a different buyer, who is expected to move them to Kansas City. Nothing seems firm yet, though, so you Hamiltonians can always hope. But it looks like my vintage Kansas City Scouts jersey might have some real value now.

It's too bad, sort of. I wonder what a Hamilton-Habs rivalry would have been like. Angry and bitter like any Habs-Canadian team rivalry? Or a love-fest based on a shared hatred of the Leafs? Looks like we'll never know.

The Morning Skate for Thursday, June 28th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of the Molson Ex Zone girls dancing after a goal...

• Daniel Brière and the Sabres have made "no progress" in contract talks. I love the way a story about nothing happening is the lead on RDS.ca. Dream on, francophone media, he's not coming here;
• Hall of Fame announcement to come to today. Messier's in, then it gets messy;
• Martin Brodeur quits the NHL Competition Committee in protest of them not protecting goalies enough. Marty was upset they wouldn't let goalies slash players in their crease with impugnity;
• HF10's debut was stellar. He'll put the rest of us to shame with actual writing skills;
• UFA period hours countdown - 66. Just a magical number.

Keep checking back for more UFA previews as Canada Day/UFA Day draws near. And for those of you who hate hockey, I'm sure there'll be some hot chicks too. You know, that are related to hockey somehow.

Not Much Time Left To Post This Picture

So much talk around here about Sheldon Souray, so not enough talk about his hot wife / ex-wife / estranged wife, whatever. Anyway you slice it, she's hot.

Obviously she is the one second from the left. If you don't know, she is Angelica Bridges, and her IMDB profile is pretty D-list. But screw it, she's hot and was on Baywatch. And she's sort of married to a Hab, for a few days at least. Here's her official site. Rowr.

This picture won't make any sense when Sheldon signs with L.A. on Sunday, so I wanted to get it up now. I know there are three other hot hockey wives in the photo, but I wanted to focus on the estranged Mrs. Souray, because Panger loves the redheads.

We'll get to the others in the future. For some reason, I feel the FHF will be posting about HHWs (Hot Hockey Wives) a lot. Call me Kresgin.

First shift for HF10

So the problem becomes how do I make my (to quote HF29) "long awaited" world premiere? What in blazes do I talk about? Where do I fit in? I probably won't be as prolific as HF29, or as analytical and coherent as Panger76, nor will I spend as much time on my birthday with strippers as HF33. I'll probably be the one who writes most when he's angry, as if someone just showed me footage of Stan Jonathan pummeling Butch Bouchard or the Jets taking Shane Doan at number 7 with the Habs sitting at number 8, trying to talk themselves into Terry fucking Ryan.

That used to be every draft weekend, when Serge would invariably pick the biggest, slowest, stone-handedest draft eligible Seattle Thunderbird (Only Turner gets a pass, if for no other reason than the wallpapering he delivered to Jagr in the Habs-Pens series in 2001) or when Reggie would snap up the slow, smallish kid who went through French immersion and averaged a point a game in the WHL. (Matt Higgins, I'm looking in your direction ... good God man, Arron Asham scored 45 goals in the WHL one year. WTF were you doing out there, playing with a ringette stick?).

This year? I didn't even flinch when Espo slid by because I toe the FourHabsFans company line: Trust in Bob. It's like the analogy a college coach used to describe Notre Dame's hiring of Charlie Weis to replace Tyrone Willingham: Bob and Timmins replacing Reggie was like replacing mall cops with Navy Seals. If they get this offseason thing right by brainwashing Brian Rafalski into leaving Jersey, convincing Tampa that David Aebischer is their answer in goal for the low low price of Brad Richards, and Jurassic Park-cloning themselves a few of the numbers hanging from the rafters, I might need to listen Bob Cole, Harry Neale and Don Cherry fellate the Leafs all the way into 10th in the East just to get annoyed at something.

That being said, the new kid from Cretin-Derham better be more Chris Chelios than Brad Brown. All the best, Ryan McDonagh. We'll be watching ... and writing.

Esposito No Ribeiro

Habs fans do not want to see Mike Ribeiro in a Canadiens uniform ever again. The Lisbon Experiment did have its moments, but on far too many nights the kid looked like he was skating in sand, cocky and indifferent. Fans have taken to Guillaume Latendresse because he shows some of the passion they display in the stands. At least he looks like he cares.

So when given the opportunity to draft a young junior scoring phenom from Montreal, fans wonder whether or not they'll be in for Ribeiro Redux. Because if they don't want Ribeiro back, they sure as hell don't want a reincarnation of him. That may be what Montrealers feared with the prospect of the team drafting Angelo Esposito

I recently spoke to a good friend (JR) who has known Espo for a long time. He and other people in hockey have said that Espo has a work ethic. That leaves Mickey "for the love of god someone feed this poor child" Ribs behind in the dust right there. He laced the skates at the age of 3 on a figure skating platform. By the time he was 6, he was too deft on the ice to play with boys his age. He was bumped up and dominated amongst kids several years older than he was. He comes from a hard working family, with sound values. He's a quiet kid with a good sense of respect.

Pete Sampras began playing tennis against 10 year olds when he was 5 and only really started playing people his own age as a teenager. By the age of 16 he was beating grown men to the ground. When you dominate despite being behind in physical development, that means your skill level is so high that it serves to offset any shortcomings that your young age may deliver. That truth lies in the many home videos we've seen of today's stars as children pirouetting around their respective playing surfaces, dazzling the crowd.

So in the spirit of setting the record straight, let us not fall prey to easy temptations and cliche comparisons. It's too easy. Esposito is the young Montrealer, son of European immigrants, that lit it up in junior. In essence, these are the complexities that have fueled such parallels. We are all capable of much more, as knowledgeable hockey fans. Espo being about 20 pounds heavier than the Ribs (you can see the Ribs). Look there for starters. They are not the same.

Should the Habs have drafted the kid. Of course, the brass knew everything we've said about him here and then some. The city would welcome a hometown hero, but that alone is not enough. Montreal fans couldn't care less whether the guy that lifts the Cup is a Tremblay or a Somethingsomethingsomethingov. The enormous hole in the middle on one of the top 2 lines needs to be filled now. There is a flurry of second and third line forwards on this team. AE would probably not have made the team in the face of a few players that now have a year of pro hockey to add to their arsenal (speaking of which, Adios Thierry Henry!).

The two Tits brothers will have to renew a sibling rivalry because they will both be fighting for a spot. Grabovski can grab a place, so can Chipchura.

It seems many teams, for their own reasons passed on Espo. Throwing a #12 pick away simply because you need to refill the Québécois tank flies in the face of the hockey sense that Gainey and Montrealers at large have always admired and stood for.