OMFG It's a Hockey Post!

Sure, hot chicks and Sundin melodrama are all fun and good, but every now and then we guess we should write about hockey. You know, being a hockey blog and all.

So ESPN hockey writer Scott Burnside has gone nuts and already written the first Power Rankings for the season. He's got the Habs in at number 2 in the East, and we can live with that. He does warn TFS(tm) will have to prove the playoff meltdown was a one-time thing, but we think everyone kind of agrees with Carey's assesment he was tired. At least, we hope.

He's got the Pens at number one in the East. As much as we think the Pens have some talent, half the team is now in Tampa and their muscle now wears the CH. But MYFO does a much better job of explaining why that won't happen. We would add that they recently signed coach Michel Therrien to a 3-year extension, and it's only a matter of time before he kills a ref or one of his own players, so they'll be in trouble there.

As for our favourite rivals, Burnside has the Laffs at 13th in the East. No surprise there, except maybe that they aren't 15th. The surprise is the Sens coming in at 10th, after years of being the presumptive number one. Care to comment, SLC?

As for the West, Wings, Sharks, Stars, Ducks, yada yada, whatever, same old same old zzzzzzzzzzz....

So are the Habs good for second in the East? Will the Sens really suck? What's your favourite hockey video game of all time? (Intellivision, WOOO!) Let's talk hockey for a change. We'll get back to the near nudity tomorrow.

FHF Declares Temporary Ban on Swedish Babes; Replaced with Finns

In protest of Mats Sundin's fence up his ass, FHF today declares that until he signs somewhere, we will no longer post Swedish babes. Fuck you Mats and your pussiness dicking around.

Not to worry kids, plenty of other countries with hot chicks out there. In honour of the ever-present "Finnish Flash to play with BFF Saku" rumours, today we present these lovely ladies of Finland. The women above were the contestants for Miss Finland in 2007. Two of them are only seventeen, so make sure not to masturbate to those.

Rhino Says He's Sorry, Goes to the Box for Two Minutes, Feels Shame, Then Gets Free

Habs D Ryan O'Byrne has had the theft charges against him dropped after reading an apology in a Florida Court. If only we had apologised to the Court, we wouldn't have that record. Damn hookers 'n meth.

ANYWAY, as you may recall, Rhino was arrested last February for allegedly snatching a European carry-all in Tampa at 3 AM. Florida State Attorney Pam Bondi said Rhino has behaved for 5 months and has done community service, so he's free to go. Free to go pummel pussy little 5'9" forwards standing in front of TFS.

And that Habs purse above? A mere $325. We wish that was a joke.

HF29 Apologizes to the Troops in Afghanistan

So yesterday we played a little joke. Hahaha, Mats signed. A bunch of you fell for it, and we were amused. But "anonymous" in Afghanistan was pissed. Assuming he has some sort of connection to the Canadian Armed Forces (and seriously, why else would a Hab fan be there), we felt terrible about that. No one fighting under a Canadian flag should log on to get excited only to have their hopes dashed. Anonymous said "post a really hot chick and all will be forgiven."

Done. This is Martina Lund, some Swedish model. Here's more of her. And just because we love the troops, here's an entire gallery of hot sexy Swedish models. That should smooth things over.

Oh, and did you hear that the Habs signed Teemu Selanne?

Habs Sign Sundin to 2-year, $17 Million Dollar Deal

*may not be true. Eklund, we can make shit up as well as you.

The Morning Skate fo--- FUCK IS THE SEASON EVER GONNA START ALREADY???

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of baseball being the only sport to watch right now...

Exactly. Habs sign some mediocre minor league center we never heard of, so we got nothing to write. If you want to read something, wraparoundcurl writes "do you like hockey and blowjobs?" Why yes, yes we do, thanks for asking.

Yet Another Fucking Sundin Post

Mike Boone over at Habs I/O (btw since Boone has been the only one writing over there lately, it doesn't totally suck any more) breaks down the Eklund crap about the Habs and Sundin. It strongly suggests Sundin is coming here. By Monday.

Yeah, whatever Eklund. But at least you gave me an excuse to post a Swedish babe with "NASTY" tattooed on her in a cool place.

I Know! Let's Name Him After a Really Bad Canadian Actor, And The Worst Darth Vader Ever! Great idea!

This is your Darth Fucking Vader???

Congratulations to FHF whipping boy Guillaume Latendresse, who as it turns out, contrary to popular belief, did manage to put one past the goalie last season.

FHF Grateful to Marty Rucinsky for Excuse to Post More Czech Supermodels

I want to move to, as John McCain would say, Czechoslovakia. FHF sure loves the Czech supermodels. This one is Petra Nemcova, and she's alright. You know, if you like the sort of women who are perfect.

Where was I again? Oh right, Martin Rucinsky. The former Hab has decided Czech supermodels are better than U.S. ones, and is going home to play with Sparta Prague. He has played for so many teams, I have no fucking clue who he played for last year. Somewhere west-ish I think. Phoenix? St. Louis? I don't really give a shit, and I'm too busy researching Czech supermodels to look it up.

Alex Ovechkin Will Gladly Sign Your Tits

Via Puck Daddy, orginally from the Alex Ovetjkin blog, comes a wide ranging interview with Ovie himself, translated from the original Russian. There's all sorts of good stuff that Wysh has pulled out, but really, if this ain't the money quote, we have to redefine money quote:

Q: The girls often write on the posters "Alex, will you marry me!"
A: All the time. Got used to it and don't feel shy anymore. Sometimes after the game, they pull up T-shirts and ask to sign on the chest. I am all for it.

We wonder if Ovie BFF Markov has the same policy.

MONTREAL BEATS TORONTO

Yeah, technically it was a tie, but Montreal's Impact already beat Toronto's "F.C." (which, as I understand it, is short for "Fucking Cocks") and last night captured the first Canadian club Championship in the brand-spanking new Saputo Stadium in East End Montreal (insert mob-based, how-many-wiseguys-are-buried-under-the-turf jokes here).

What does this have to do with the Habs? Nothing. Except that Impact pres Joey "Big Cheese" Saputo is apparently trying to take George Gillett's money to bring an Major League Soccer club to Montreal. (BTW, also the worse league nickname in history. To start with, 5/6 of the planet calls it football, guys.)

Besides, anytime a Montreal teams humiliates a Toronto team we feel it is our responsibility to bring it to our readers' attention. Now if only the Leafs best player over the last decade ultimately decides to defect to the Habs, all would be right with the world.

Max Pack: The Evidence

Recently, Habs signed 2007 first-round pick Max Pacioretty to a 3-year contract. He apparently tore up the Habs development camp. He's also apparently god's gift to power forwards. Upon trolling the youtubes today, I found this compilation of his play at Michigan. You decide if he's good. I'm too mesmerised by the helmets.

Also, Max Pac or Max Pack? You decide that too.

OK Mats, Make Up Your F*cking Mind Already

This is supposedly Mats' girlfriend. Let's face it, Habs' fans have seen enough of Mats' mug over the last couple of months. I wonder if he's texting Don Meehan in the background...

Sundin has downplayed the latest "rumour" that he has agreed to play for the Canucks. 20 million big ones for about 164 night's work isn't bad. Yeah, I'm not including any playoff games. Name Vancouver's second line left winger. Exactly.

Mats, stop pulling the Brett Farve routine and make up your mind. It's not rocket science: do you want a chance at a Cup or roll in more money that you don't need? Listen, you've already got the cash, fame, HHOF resume and evidently the blond babe. Put those Leafs days behind you and come to a classy, winning organization, Mr. Sundin.

Just make a fucking choice already.

New and Improved* FHF Means More Room for Babes

Hot off the heels of KSK's conversion to widescreen, FHF has decided to stretch things a little too. There was just so much white space on either side of the blog that could be filled with hot chicks, er, hockey analysis.

Although upon examining the pic of ice girls above, in the old format the one second from right would have been cropped out, which may have been better.

*not really new or improved

Breaking Sidekick News

Benoit Brunet has replaced Yvon Pedneault as Pierre Houde's sidekick for all RDS Habs games.

I'm not a happy man.

Back to my sabbatical.

NHL Season to Open in the Midst of Czech Supermodels

This is Veronica Varekova, Czech supermodel. She even has a hockey connection, having been married to Peter Nedved for a time. She may or not be in the arena when the NHL season opens in Prague October 5.

Yes, the NHL schedule is finally out. Highlights include the Lightning and Rangers opening the seaon for 2 games in Prague, while the Sens and Pens clash for two in Stockholm. You're saying I could have used a Swedish chick for the photo, too. I hear ya, but man, look at Veronica.

As for the Habs, they open October 10 at Buffalo. Home opener is October 15 against the Broons. Other highlights include the usual Super Bowl weekend double matinee and the Florida Christmas holiday trip, though that trip has games at Pens and at Devils on either side of it. That's a joke of a travel schedule. Look for Panger at the Saddledome on February 9th. Habs final game is April 11 against the Pens in Montreal, for the Wales Conference championship.

Hot Babe with an Actual Relationship to Hockey of the Day - Ms. Gretzky Part 2

Before Jeff in HK and moeman lose their minds for the lack of babes on the site over the last 5 days, we happily present the second awesome photo of Paulina Gretzky we managed to dig up. Here was the first. Paulina can center our line any time.

Get out of the fucking way, Rhino is in town

A lap dance to FHF reader Melly (note: may or may not be legendary DJ Melly Mel) for pointing out that Ryan O'Byrne has signed a 3-year contract for an undisclosed sum. We are giddy, given our general love of 6'5" 235 lbs. defensemen.

This has to signal the end of both Breezer and El Dandy, right? Right? Please god let that be right.

Leafs Decide Poor Haven't Suffered Enough: Offer Free Tickets to Toronto vs Buffalo Exhibition Game

Cause these guys don't have enough problems

The Toronto Maple Leafs have announced plans to torment the poor and indigent of their home city even further by allowing them in to the Air Canada Centre to watch an exhibition game versus the Buffalo Sabres this September. Local activists are outraged at the cruel and unusual punishment being meted out to the city's less fortunate by the evil, marauding corporation known as MLSE. Alt-hippie mayor David Miller denounced the "heinous treatment of our most vulnerable", and called for the federal government to send "money, counsellors, someone to fix the TTC, the army, ... and the rights to John Tavares."

MLSE has announced the plans as a way to allow fans who currently can not afford to see "hockey" at the Air Canada Centre (currently those earning less than $350,000 per year, or those not related to original season ticket holders from the 1931 opening of Maple Leaf Gardens) a chance to see all their favourite Maple Leaf stars in exhibition action, like John Pohl, Anton Stralman, 64 year old goalie Curtis "Cujo" Joseph, and newly acquired punching bag/mediocre agitator/turtling sissy Ryan Holllweg. Leafs acting/semi-permanent GM/Brian Burke seatwarmer Uncle Cliffy announced that the chance to see these Leaf greats was a "once in a lifetime opportunity ... for all you poor fuckers. Enjoy it, because those platinum seats are gonna stay empty at the start of every period forever." Uncle Cliffy then fell asleep in his oatmeal.

Now, we're not usually ones to heap scorn on the Leafs, but what do they have against the good, hardworking poor, lower, middle, upper-middle, and lower-rich classes of Toronto who can't afford to go to the ACC? At least you could take solace in the fact that all the rich assholes in the seats were getting a karmic punch in the face by shelling out so much to watch a crappy team. This just seems cruel, especially if you're going to make people have to drink fucking COKE ZERO for the chance to win tickets. I'm guessing dentists all over the Metro area just made plans for huge home expansions based on the amount of rotted teeth they'll see between now and the fall.

PS - We joke and all, and you can complain about the way the tickets are being distributed, but in all seriousness, what a great idea by the Leafs. Although every preseason game should be free anyway.

PPS - Writing that last bit makes me feel like I need a shower. Ugh.

Two Days of Mind-Numbing Tedium Coming to Montreal!

The Habs have announced that the 2009 NHL Entry Draft will be held in Montreal on June 26th and 27th, all of it part of the big 100th anniversary celebrations.

FHF makes the commitment right now to you, dear reader, to MILF-hunt in person while drunk and on meth. Party time!

The Morning Skate for Some Beautiful Summer Day Yet Godforsaken Middle of the Off Season Day Where Absolutely Fuck All is Happening

Hey ho. Just wanted to check in, let y'all know we're still alive. But fuck, are these the dog days of summer or what? Everyone's on vacation it looks like; and Ted Nolan is on permanent vacation. Not much else hockey-wise going on. When Canadians are winning the home run derby, the whole sports world is on its ear, eh?

We can't even start a countdown to the first game because the fucking schedule hasn't even been announced yet. Maybe we'll go outside. AAUUGGHHHH, THE SUN. My eyes! The goggles they do nothing.

The Weekend Afternoon Skate

Just some bullet points for a rainy Sunday afternoon in Montreal...

• Yours truly is bemoaning the end of the Corey Locke era. I think I was his only supporter in all of Habtopia;
• Lightning think they're the Islanders, sign Vinny to an 11-yeat contract extension;
• As FHF commentor Matt Fear the Collapse pointed out, brand new transfer agreement my ass, as Radulov breaks his contract to play with Ufa and date Russian supermodels;
• FHF friend Wraparoundcurl has lost her Canucks in an ugly break-up. She's looking for a new team. Go tell her we don't like no bandwagon jumpers around here.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get drunk to forget my Corey Locke love.

Russia and North America Reach Detente - Russian Supermodels Free to Date Anyone

This is Natalia Vodianova. She is a Russian supermodel. That's all we've got.

We bring her up because the NHL and the new Russian Continental League have reached a transfer agreement. It's not really the big trasnfer agreement that still needs to be signed, but at least the leagues have agreed to respect each others contracts. So basically that means Sid and Malkin will play together for at least one more year.

Now if you'll excuse us, we need to return to the difficult work of Google Image searching Russian supermodels. It's tough work, but we do it for you, dear reader.

...and then there was one

Bob (GM Of The Year) Gainey now has Josh G(e)orges, last year's Most Improved Player, under contract for three years at $1.1M per. This leaves Rhino as the Habs' last remining RFA.

It also leaves the Habs with about $7.5 M in cap space, so if they're planning to sign Mats at $7M per, Rhino will have to come cheap. The good news is that they then wouldn't have cap room for Breezer. Thank God for small miracles.

BTW, for those who object to the "GM of the year" title, keep in mind Trader Bob got Georges AND Max Pacioretty for Craig Rivet. The FHF wouldn't make a straight-up trade of Rivet (almost 34, $3.5M cap hit) for Georges (23, $1,1M cap hit) today, never mind including budding power forward Max Pack. And we still like Rivet - although I'm sure that will change come October when he's in a Buffalo uniform.

Is it training camp yet???

Hot Babe with an Actual Relationship to Hockey of the Day

This is Paulina Gretzky. She has been exploding around the hockey blogosphere lately. If you can't figure out who she is the daughter of, we really don't know why you are reading a hockey site. Paulina is a model and singer. You may recall her singing at the Heritage Classic. She also plays golf like dad. Thankfully, her looks and body seem to have been inherited from mom.

Commence "Great Ones" jokes about her legs in 3,2,1...

I get many moneeeys!!!

Mentreal right choose when they give me money. I meke many hackey saves more than golie Cari. Beeeautifoul blond woman behind coach Carboner will facking mee for sure now.

UFA Review: In Gainey We (continue to) Trust

So Habs GM Bob Gainey's big signing in the UFA sweepstakes was ...Georges Laraque.

No Mats. No Hossa. No problem.

While some in Montreal are all in a tizzy over the Habs striking out on Hossa and Sundin (possibly) - some even suggesting that the playing field needs to be equalled by giving Canadian teams more cap space - the fact is the Habs can be better than last year with this line up. If Mats does end up signing, it will be (barring injury blah blah blah).

Alex Tanguay is a HEE-Yuge improvement over Milk Carton Mike. Dance a dix is intact - thanks to a great deal with Big Tits - Gainey's best signing so far. Little Tits and maybe Tenderness occupy the third line wings, while Slowinski's 3rd line centre spot will hopefully be upgraded by My Boy Chips' emergence as a full-time NHLer - a centre that can get from point A to point B on the ice without the help of a walker. Laraque, all 6'3, 243-pounds of muscle, will be a welcome addition to a line up that relied on 6-foot 200-pound Greek Lightening to fight it's battles - yes, yes, Komo and Rhino are huge, but the team needs them on the ice, not the sin bin. The French interconnection Forth line (Bagin'/El Dandy/Mad Max/Georgy Boy) plus Greek Lightening is serviceable and can certainly play with the big boys - unlike the days when Patrick Poulin patrolled one of those wings.

On "D", nothing much had changed except for the loss of part time forward Swiss Mister. Arguably, his blueline spot presumably being taken by Rhino results in an upgrade in team defence, but that was not what the Swiss Mister was all about: the Habs are losing an integral part of their #1-in-the-league powerplay. And unlike last year after Sheldon Souray's departure, there does not appear to be any natural replacement. Only Markov is truely an offensive defencemen on this blueline (all due respect to Hamr, but those days are behind him). Anyone out there relying on the inevitable return of Breezer and his playoff point work? Didn't think so. In terms of minor league options, Mathieu Carle is probably a year away. Hopefully, as we at FHF dearly pray, the Subbanator grabs a roster spot - along with, presumably, most of the microphones in the dressing room. Of course, he's going to have to fight Georgy Boy for them.

So who's left? My pick would be Jason Williams, formerly of Chicago. He's a winger, but plays the point on the power play. He's relatively young at 27, and unlike Slowinski, has wheels on the ice. Plus, he would be a good addition to the 3rd line, allowing Tenderness to slip down to the 4th line - a kick in the ass that he needs, IMHO.

There's also Bryan Berard. To that, I say: In Gainey We Trust. Then again, I also called Slowinski a "journeyman" who Gainey wouldn't touch last off season - and that's why none of the FHF are NHL general managers. Just in case you were wondering.

Next week: Brushes with Habs' Greatness - Brent Bilodeau Edition (yes, seriously)

Brushes with Habness - Dave Manson Screams Like a Little Girl

Brushes With Habness is a feature began last summer on FHF, wherein we, the FHF, tell you riveting stories about our brushes with Habs and people in the Habs family. Basically, some filler while we wait for the damn season to start. Mindless filler week has begun!

So as we reported last year, Dad was a doctor. Dad was an ear, nose, and throat man (an otorhinolaryngologist for all you medical types) and was listed as one of the official doctors for the Canadiens (one of hundreds, it's not like he was so special). Also, as a Jew, Dad always volunteered to be on call for the department on Christmas. These facts are important to this mindless filler.

These facts are important because on December 25, 1996, Dad was called into the hospital on an emergency. He gets to the ER and finds his patient, one Dave Manson of the Montreal Canadiens. Now you'll be forgiven if you don't remember Dave Manson. Well, unless you lived in Montreal, Winnipeg, Toronto, Chicago, Edmonton, Dallas, or one of the other 400 NHL cities he played in. He was a serviceable defenseman and first round draft pick who once had 50+ points and 350+ PIM for Chicago in one season. We seem to recall him quite fondly from his time with the Habs.

So Dad asks Dave Manson what's up, and the nurse hands Dad an x-ray. Dave has somehow managed to have a pine needle from a christmas tree lodged in his ear canal. Now, Dad never asked how it got in there, but I like to think Dave had some sort of weird ear sex fetish. ANYWAY, Dad says "it's really buried pretty deep in there, this might hurt a bit. Do you want some sort of anaesthetic or painkiller?" Dave, tough guy hockey player, of course says no. Dad grabs the medical equivalent of long-nosed pliers, starts digging around the ear canal and as soon as he penetrated an inch or two, Dave starts screaming like a little girl. After a couple of minutes of careful digging, Dad managed to remove the needle without damaging the eardrum or any important hearing-related anatomy. Dad reported later Dave screamed through the whole thing. Wuss.

Tomorrow on FHF - Dad removes a gerbil from Stéphane Richer's ass

TMS Reports there's nothing to report

We get the feeling it's going to be "mindless filler week" here at FHF.

Jagr to Nail Hot Russian Chicks for the Next Two Years

This is Anna Semenovich ("you said semen" - Butt-head). She was a world class Russian figure skater but her tits kept getting in the way during triple axels. She is now a Russian pop singer. Here's a photo gallery that might keep you entertained for while.

Oh right, hockey. Russian Super League team Avangard Omsk is saying on its website that Jaromir Jagr has signed a two-year deal to play for them. Whatever, goodbye, good luck, thanks for the lame excuse to post Ms. Semenovich.

The Morning Skate for July 4th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of winning your independence...

• Bob is alive! And tweaking. After the Grabs trade and the Laraque signing we reported on yesterday, Habs sign Cedric Desjardins and Marc Denis. Jaro asks "eees eye on way out zee door?"
• New York continues to defy salary cap odds and sign Markus Naslund, relatively cheap at 8 mill for two years. No way they have room to sign Sundin now, right? Right? Bueller?
• Pens lock up M-A Fleury for another seven years, at 5 mill per. We're going back and forth between "that's way too much for him" to "that will be a steal in two years."

U-S-A! U-S-A! Or something.

George The Rack Is Back

Somewhere, Zdeno "Count Chocula" Chara just peed himself a little.

Georges Laraque, the undisputed NHL heavyweight over the past several seasons, just signed with the Habs for $4.5M over 3 years. A very acceptable price to pay to give Saks and AK27 a little more room in the corners and in front of the net.

What's even better is that Georges has his own website, and when he played for Edmonton had a very popular radio show. Let's hope he gets on 110% and kicks some ignorant, self-obsessed ass.

Plus, if Leafs fans think it's possible Grabs will score 30 goals for them, we can say Georges will do the same for Montreal, right? OK, at least if Georges pastes Grabs boney, under-muscled ass thought the boards next season, he'll have earned a place in the hearts of Habs' faithful.

Uncle Cliffy Grabs ... Well, Grabs, Actually.

Is this what Bob gave up in order to have Mats Sundin hem and haw for the next two months? TSN is reporting that our once-upon-a-time future number 2 centre Mikhail "Grabs" Grabovski has been dealt to the Leafs for prospect Greg Pateryn and a second round pick in 2010.

What do I think? We had high hopes for Grabs last year, and some had him penciled in as Kovy's centreman. He didn't really show a lot early season, and got sent down. He then became everyone's favourite trading chip in deals for Marian Hossa, Mats Sundin, Alex Ovechkin, Ilya Kovalchuk ... you name it, Grabs (and Ryder, Halak, O'Byrne and a pick) were traded for it. Still, we liked Grabs until he went all petulant child and refused to travel with the team after being scratched. Personally, that's the moment I turned on him like a viper. Arrogant little fuck.

With Pleks installed on the first line, Saku on the second, and a host of other prospects in the pipeline, RFA Grabs was probably out the door sooner or later. Bob and Timmins got themselves a useful pick and another high school defenseman from the States. The Leafs got a speedy, offensively gifted prospect, who I hope turns into the next Lonny Bohonos or Luca Cereda. See, sometimes in a trade you wish the guy leaving well ... but Grabs sulked and went against the family. That's usually enough to earn my scorn, but now he's a Leaf too, so fuck him.

Je Me Souviens - Last Year

While we wait for Bob to do, uh, something, let's take a look back for no apparent reason other than it will be fun to remember that the miraculous comeback against the Rangers would not have been possible without Milk Carton Mike and the Swiss Mister's ankle. Man, that ankle had talent.

Bob Gainey Hits Snooze Button Again

Habs' GM Bob Gainey, fresh off a very late evening on June 30th, has hit the snooze button once again and gone back to sleep. As anxious Habs fans wait for any sort of move from Bob, he was heard to mumble "just ten more minutes."

Though if takes 6 million per year to sign defensemen who can barely play D, and 10 million to 37-year old Swedes sitting on fences, maybe it's better he sleep in.

TMS Says Goodbye to Milk Carton Mike and The Swiss Mister

Three years, $4 million per from the Broons (noooo!) for Ryder, five-years (!), $20.5 million from the Islanders for Streit.

Two of FHF's best nicknames out the door. Just tragic.

Seriously (ha! on this site?), from a hockey perspective, if Streit really wants to play D 20.5 mill is way overpriced. If you recall, he sucks at D. And we will always claim that Ryder fucked a female relative of Carbo and pissed him off. It's gonna be real embarassing when he scores 5 goals to lead the Broons past the Habs in the Conference semi-finals, including the series winner in Game 6.

Photos of Large-Breasted Women to Live On at FHF

Restricted free agent Andrei Kostitsyn, aka Big Tits, has signed a 3-year deal reportedly worth $3.25 mill per.

Whew. On so many levels.

Theo to Transmit STD to Ted Leonsis

José Thedore, seen here getting an unnamed STD from Paris Hilton, has signed a 2-year $9 million deal with the Washington Capitals.

Other signings have happened, but fuck, big yawn so far.

Swedish Babes Gone from FHF Forever

It's noon. UFA "Frenzy" has begun and Sundin will now most likely never be in a Habs uniform. Our lame excuse to post Swedish babes is gone.

TSN is still showing tennis. We're listening to PJ Stock on Team 990 for our news. Kill us.

Happy Canada Day, Eh?

Before the Frenzy starts (assuming there is actually a frenzy. If TSN doesn't show it, does a Frenzy exist?) we wanted to take a moment to wish a Happy Canada Day to all our compatriots, notably Mia Kirshner, Natasha Henstridge, Estella Warren, Carrie-Anne Moss, Trish Stratus, Shania Twain, Evangeline Lilly, and of course hockey slut Elisha Cuthbert.

Wow. We love Canada, and it ain't for Medicare. Who's your favourite Canadian babe? Let's hear it in the comments.

TMS Reports - Venus Williams up 5-4 in the first set

So we wake up, turn on TSN for the big Free Agent Frenzy, expecting to see a countdown clock with about three hours on it. Instead, we've got the Wimbledon quarter-final match between Venus Williams and someone who is definitely not Sharapova or Ivanovic, so it's not even worth watching.

Stick with FHF all day as we have news and wildly emotional insta-reactions to all UFA signings and wheelings and dealings. And expect the Lame Excuses to Post Hot Chicks tag to get a workout. After all, we've got to keep ourselves entertained somehow.