Time for CHeerleaders? Jets preview and open thread

With the recent announcement that the Edmonton Oilers will have cheerleaders later this year, the first Canadian team to do so, our thoughts turned to cheerleaders. Well, our thoughts turned back to cheerleaders, having been fantasizing thinking about them ten minutes before. So the question needs to be asked, do we need CHeerleaders at the Bell Centre?

In a word, fuck and no. Look, I don't think anyone could accuse yours truly of not being a sexist pig who loves the female form. And God knows we love the cheerleaders. And CHeerleaders would undoubtedly be just fantastic, considering the talent in this city. But let's face it, the alleged job of a cheerleader is to get the fans worked up and excited and uh, cheering for their team. Think Habs fans need that? I think not. Not to mention there's just too much shit going on between periods and during timeouts anyway. CHeerleaders would take away valuable time from adorable little peewee kids skating five times as far as they're used to. Frankly, they should just get rid of ALL the extraneous crap. Screw the video boards, the fancy lights, the cranking of music. Just bring back the fucking organist, it's all we need in Montreal. Now get off my lawn while I grab some pom-poms (not a euphemism) and set up the Yotes.

One-two-three-four, here's the deets of what's in store - 7:30 PM start at the CHeerleader-less Bell. This is the premiere of TSN's regional coverage of Habs games, but unless you have BellTV (ch. 1402 for HD, 402 for SD), you're shit out of luck. Because when you are broadcasting the Habs, it's not like you need to be on Videotron or anything. This will be the teams' only meeting this year. Habs coming off the Saturday night shutout over the Sens, Jets lost in OT Saturday to the Whalers, and are 2-2-2 on the season. You'd think that would put them in the middle of the pack, but they're 14th in the West.

Five-six-seven-eight, here's a blog I just can't hate - Yotes Gurl is a fun read, especially when she's recounting stories of screaming at idiots in her own arena.

Three-two-one-zero, Andrei Tits, he's our hero - What a pleasure to write about Tits being hot. He lived in the cold column in the second half of last year. PleXXXe also counts as hot I guess with a point per game over his last 6, and give TFS some props too for the shutout and just being a workhorse. For the Yotes, Kyle Turrris' mom's son had a bad start but turned it up with 3 points against the Canes.

Five-four-three-two, here's some guys that you should boo - at what point does it become piling on the Giant Mexican? We may be getting there. On the plus side, if the team is 4-2-1 with each of them only having one goal, how good can we be when (if) they start scoring? Also, the PP has fallen to 30th in the league, if you're keeping track.

Red, yellow, blue, green, here's some guys that won't be seen - still no Vodkov to rescue the PP, though he should be back for the weekend. Expect the same lineup as Saturday. Alex Auld has to debut this week, right? For the Yotes, Shane Doan is sitting out the last of his 3-game suspension, and Martin Hanzal has a lower body that's injured.

Two-four-six-eight, tits and ass are really... just fucking awesome - If you want Montreal cheerleaders, here are some where they belong. The football field.