Don't think we don't recognize the fact it's Christmas for some of us! Notably the Russians (and other Eastern Orthodox people I guess, what do I know) and probably the Belorussians. I'm too lazy to look this shit up. But I do know today is Russian Christmas. So Merry Christmas Andrei (and probably the Titses). May Дед Мороз bring you lots of presents. Maybe the "C"?Hey didn't I write yesterday that I would no longer watch hockey? Why am I writing a preview then? Hmmm. Well, it would be a crime to deprive our fine readers of my witty banter, such as it is. Why don't we just ramble on a bit without any clever gimmick? Habs sucking so much does not give me any inspiration for any clever gimmicks.
Game goes at 7:30 tonight at the Centre of Bell Globemedia. Habs coming off two straight losses to start 2010, and the Panthers coming off a loss to Tronna after shocking the Pens over the weekend. Habs won the only meeting so far this season, the 5-4 New Year's Eve day game last week. Thanks to an anonymous commentor for that game, we discovered the other Panthers blog on the intertubes, the quite excellent The Rat Trick.
Hot Habs? Yeah, right. CHicken maybe? Vodkov maybe? Bryan McCabe and Nathan Horton playing well for the Cats. Over the last two games, plenty of coldness for the Habs. Let's just say all the forwards and all the defense.
Once again, we are deprived of the services of Titses. Not to worry, I'm sure that BGL can fill their shoes. Rhino still in B.C. for family issues. PatCHes and Dagger have switched lines. And your goalie will be Jaro. I'm sure he can turn aside the 40-50 shots that will be thrown his way.
For your post-game adult entertainment, in the spirit of Russian Christmas, get all your free Russian porn at the Russian Porn Blog. The term NSFW is woefully inadequate for what you will get if you click on that link.
Merry Christmas to all our Russian readers (NOT our good Finnish friend sleza. i think Sonia speaks Russian). Stoli shots for everyone!
98 comments:
"Russian Porn Blog."
Simple, and to the point. The way life should be.
To be fair, us non-Russian, non Eastern Orthodox, regular Roman Catholics call this "Epiphany" (or "Little Christmas" when we feel like demeaning those other, not-the-true-Church Orthodox crazies), and we like it. We celebrated it yesterday, and don't like it enough to give out more presents, but still.
I'm not sure what my point was, but in honour of Russian Christmas and Markov, I will a) drink some of the Russian beers I received for Christmas and b) Cheer for Alabama in the BCS Championship tonight because they wear Commie red.
No, wait. Fuck Alabama and their 44 million claimed national titles, fuck them to hell. Still, the beers. The beers I can do.
Kostcos both out again...no xmas for them unless Pasquale is in the press box with blow and setting up their new stereo and A/V equipment.
The picture from a few posts back of the broken tittays with the note from Pasquale on the cast ranks right up there along with the photo of Gainey nursing Sergei in the backseat on the way to Hamilton as best of all time! Keep it up!
Big win against the kitties tonight. Just...please. Pedro has to step his game up and stop coughing up the puck in our zone.
Get a win soon so we can party!
-Pasquale
I've just had an epiphany, after reading that Matt D'Agostini (29 games played, 2 goals scored) is going to be on the first line tonight.
That epiphany is: we suck.
Also annoying:
Here’s where it gets interesting; Laraque has had 4 fights this season (1 win, 1 loss, and 2 draws according to hockeyfights.com) and when he has decided to drop the gloves, the Canadiens are 3-0-1. Last season, on 9 occasions when Georges dropped the gloves (7 wins, 1 draw, 1 loss according to hockeyfights.com) the Habs went 6-3.
Four fights? Georges can you please punch the timecard tonight and show up for work! Punch something, anything...Keith Ballard. Stop pissing around.
And eat a fucking burger for fuck's sake.
Who did he lose to?
I pulled quote from hockeybuzz.com article.
Erskine supposedly. Theoretical victory more than anything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fnqE-jEFkUw
But like the announcer says in the video Laracque (I would include Boogard) is still considered the toughest truck in the game. We really need this guy to start putting at least a little fear into other teams. What is he doing fo his 1.5 million or whatever ludicrous amount he makes?
Eat a burger and pop somebody's bucket into the third row. Its ridiculous he has completely lost his identity.
And D'Ago on the first line? I guess he really can't disappoint anymore than he already has after such a torrid start last year. Calling him for a Geno tonight.
So... Should we celebrate the return to this site's original purpose? i.e: Talking about the Habs sucking?
i appreciate this but despite my deep love for russia/russian hockey, I'm actually a Finn :) though, Russia still seems to think we're more or less part of it so i guess there's no difference... ;)
oh sleza you're just being polite. i know you must deep in your heart hate Russia like all Finns. my sincerest apologies, i fixed it.
Is Michael Whalen back covering the Habs at TSN? If so, huzzah! cuz seeing the condescending jon loo (imagine having two names that are synonymous with a toilet) 'reporting' on the Canadiens is almost as bad as listening to dave bissonnette try to stream three intelligent sentences together.
moe i'm in class so not watching TSN, but if you tell me you saw a Michael Whalen Habs report, i may cry with happiness. such a pro (well, compared to most everyone else at TSN)
HabsFan29, no, i really do like russia. i don't agree with all of their actions but there's something fascinating about that country. otherwise i would already be in jail for assaulting all the people who have thought i'm russian...
and i never ever turn down stoli shots...
@HF29, get a kleenex and click on tsn.ca's Habs video clip. Agreed on Whalen's smart, honest, ethical reporting. Bonus, he doesn't scream like most tsn'ers.
I. Love. Whalen.
That's all.
Thanks for the "plug"! I read your site every day, and have you on my blogroll. Great work!
Good luck tonight. I wouldn't know what to expect of our friggin Panthers, as they seem to still have some of Jacques Martin's old traits, which I'm sure you're frustratingly familiar with at times!
@RatTrick
Good luck tonight is way too nice for this site. I think a fairer sentiment would be "may the better team's fans stay awake." I think you win.
NSFW in the USSR
Panthers flew in from Miami Beach
Did they get to bed that night
Oh, the blue and white barf bag was on their knee
Man, vs. leaf they had a dreadful plight
Valatenko's NSFW in the USSR
You don't know how lucky you are, мальчик
NSFW in the USSR, fuck
Emelin's been away so long he hardly knows the place
Gee, it must good to be back home
Leave it till tomorrow to unpack his case
Timmins disconnect the phone
He's NSFW in the USSR
You don't know how lucky you are, Trev
NSFW in the US
NSFW in the US
NSFW in the USSR
Well the Ukraine girls really knocked Vodkov out
They left their pants behind
And Moscow girls made OV sing and shout
Russian porn's always on my my my my my my my my my mind
Oh, come on
Hu Hey Hu, hey, ah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah
It's NSFW in the USSR
We don't know how lucky we are, boys
NSFW in the USSR
(The following italicized lyrics are un-parodied,
showing John Lennon's true genius
and may I suggest he get an honorary FHF membership)
Oh, show me round your snow peaked
mountain way down south
Take me to you daddy's farm
Let me hear you balalaika's ringing out
Come and keep your comrade warm
NSFW in the USSR
We don't know how lucky we are, Avtsin!
NSFW in the US
NSFW in the US
NSFW in the USSR
Oh, let me tell you honey
плюс один to moe
i just got in from class, settled in with a nice beverage. are we losing yet?
oh the game hasn't started.
so are we losing yet?
could we get that Avtsin guy ready for the weekend?
Too nice, ok. I predict the Habs will skate fucking circles around the tired asses of the Panthers!
i predict the Panthers will skate circles around Hall Gill. and Josh Gorges. and the rest of the Habs defence
*cough* *cough*
I have a chest cold, can't figure out how I got it.
*sigh*
No True Blood, no 24 (yet) no Dexter.
Guess I have to watch this stooopid hackey game.
*sigh*
BooB says he's 'deranged' (loosely translated by yours truly.
I predict the Habs go for coffee instead of playing the entire second period.
@Moey
I have a chill myself. Shoulda worn warmer socks to Washington.
It is indeed Christmas for me. Thanks for the good wishes, HF29!
But in honour of Christmas, I don't think I'll click on the Porn Blog link until tomorrow...
Laraque is now whining thathe wants more ice time. Solution?
Punch someone. REPEATEDLY. GAME AFTER GAME.
That is all.
Our Gals wore socks?
@GG,
I hope the Habs do go for coffee in the second, it might perk them up for the third.
Yeah, gotta remember socks and the mohair pasties for the next time.
"mohair pasties" for the obumas?
Slippy can't skate.
Not good.
we may never score
Too muCH passing.
We blow.
So now our PP is going down the toilet. *flush*
when does the football game start?
Poor Dags.
You have to feel a bit sorry for him.
This game is surprisingly entertaining. Now if only we could score.
Laps actually looks good tonight - something in the Panthers seems to bring it out of him.
CHicken!
it's a KFC miracle!
OK, that was a damn good play by Gomez and Pouliot.
Well pluck me.
Oh oh francois GAGnon.
nice interview CHicken. he just looks so happy to be here
CHicken's goal was scrumptious.
Yikes. Philly beating Pittsburgh 5-2.
They are looking very good.
what a play by BGL!
no seriously!
A family bucket of goals would be nice.
Shoot, Gionta, Shoot!!!
Les Gars look decent tonight! Why only one goal? Metro should have buried Marian Laracque's pass though.
Georges is no longer a fighter he's going for Adam Oates status.
Right now I feel more confident for the win with Halak in nets. Bottom line, we need points, I don't care who gets them.
For your intermission viewing pleasure;
GG, Moey & friend's Washington footage found!
FHFlexible!
@Moe
Ok WTF is that? Singing about potato salad and doing cirque de soleil when it was just the plain old circus?? I may have nightmares.
Saw it boingboing GG and just had to post it.
Good point by Demers. The Panthers are Jacques Martin's creation.
God I hope he doesn't get promoted after Gainey retires.
@HF29, nice use of the FHF preFHFix.
Dale Tallon built the ChiHox, where is he now?
@Moe
Now I can't stop singing "potato salad". I guess it's better than the Brady Bunch's "sha na na na na na na na na sha na na na na".
@GG
Boys will be boys, both you and I know we would never be caught dead in those shoes.
GG, you are giving me Marcia flashbacks!
Fascinating. Perry Pearn said we need to continue to attack in the third. I'm applying for the job tomorrow.
@Moey
And only slutty girls bend like that in public.
@everyone
is it worth learning french just to understand these rds guys?
GG, Pearn didn't say anything about a ménage-à-cartwheel.
@cnilan, non.
@knuckles - no, because then you'll understand what Benoit Brunet is saying. that's much worse
I hate Martin. One goal lead and we go into a shell like a child abuse victim.
was that our first shot of the period?
one shot may be all we get this period
@c nil, brunet has only two things to say about any play;
1. he's convinced _______________
2. he has no problem with _____________
Also fun to mix 1 + 2
I don't understand the Brunet hate, I have to admit.
He may not have anything insightful to say, but he's not offensive in any way.
There's gonna be some goalie controversy on HI/O tomorrow.
He may not have anything insightful to say
he's the FUCKING COLOUR COMMENTATOR. that's his job. and when he does have an opinion it's totally homer
Listening to brunet is like scratching an eyeball itch with a cheese grater.
GG,
As if slutty girls wear full length sables (sorry Georges) with stilletos and charter a private jet. Remind me to throw in a couple of pairs of toe socks for the next trip.
Is this the part where we desperately hold on for dear life till Florida ties it with 5 minutes to go, pray that Halak keeps it tied till the end and count on Pleks serving up some Czech sausage in OT?
@Moey
We do travel well together. I'll bring the flasks.
Can I have the last two hours of my life back?
Thanks Jacques;
Brunet is shit.
These kinds of games make the knitting channel look exciting. Put my 15 year old to sleep.
Brunet just said the Habs haven't had a penalty tonight.
OK, he's an idiot.
GG, knitting fishnet toe socks?
GG,
I don't want to let the pussycat out of the bag, but we have that western swing coming up, you know where we plan to kidnap Saku. Many details to be worked on.
Gio!
i think our last empty net goal was in the 70's
good or bad... a win is a win is a win!
@Moey
Saku needs his 200th goal. We kidnap, he scores you.
Gionta: Was that you that swept that away?
Gorges: No, it was spaceman.
Gionta: Siick.
Halak: You save shatout very much!
Love the camera shot of JM as he walked to the dressing room. That puffy cheeked, heavy breath "thank god!".
Two Jacques Martin teams.
Shit hockey.
GG,
He just scored it this week no? But I'll give him his 201st.
WV - bantor
as in I love the bantor on FHF.
PJ Stock on l'antichambre.
Tell me BB is bad now.
Holy shit... Did we just win a game? At home??
It's a Russian Christmas Miracle!!!
Brunet may have nothing useful to say, but at least I can ignore him and enjoy Pierre. With Yvon, his overwhelming awfulness made it so that I couldn't even do that. Bring on Joel Bouchard while his hair is still dreamy.
Indonesian RedCross
said Merry Christmas for you and your family, happy new year with happiness and peace.
."CONTOH ASKEP"
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