I am pleased to introduce you to Kimiko Zakreski. She is a Canadian snowboarder who competes in the parallel Giant Slalom, which goes on February 26th. She probably has no chance for a medal, but who gives a fuck? Look at her. I'm in love. Er, I mean as long as she does her best, we'll be proud of her.We're also proud of yesterday's medalist, Mike Robertson, a silver in men's snowboard cross, the most kick-ass extreme sport ever to make it into the Olympics. Also let's highlight Erig Guay's 5th in the men's downhill. A quality result. A true Canadian enjoys a quality result. We are not proud of VANOC's inability to have a working zamboni. Fucking embarrassment for Canada if you ask us.
In "Habs around the Olympics" news, Big Tits will not play for Belarus despite rumours he might. Vodkov, on the other hand, is good to go for Russia, as you can see.
So at 7:30 EST this evening on CTV, our Canadian boys make their debut on the ice. They face the powerful and scary Norwegians. Ha. Norway is currently ranked 11th in the world. That's actually not too bad, but really, Norway? If there was actual speed skating involved maybe I'd be worried. Luongo is getting the start. Team Canada has beaten Norway 3 times in Olympic competition in the past.
Anyway, if you're so inclined, feel free to bring on the snark about Ryan Getzlaf's ankle and your fears about our all of a sudden very shaky goalies in the comments.
128 comments:
Go Canadian Pants!
i watched the speed skating last night and RDS were the only one showing it at the time.
I'm happy to announce that P. Houde is just as fucking moronic for speed skating as for hockey.
Had to trun off the sound just to get rid of his inanities.
wonder who's commenting on CTV tonight?
Kimiko is on facebook. You can love her up close and personal with the rest of the world.
OK, let's be honest. Which players on Team Canada do you actually like?
I don't mean like in the sense that they are skilled players and you'd like them on your team. I mean ike as in respect their professionalism, their attitude, their verve, whatever.
Remember that most of those guys wouldn't play for a Canadian based team if they had the choice.
HF29,
A smattering of hot male Olympic athletes in the daily posts would be greatly appreciated by the fairer sex on this blog and by L. Dude's wife.
From Kimiko's website:
Favorite Food: Sushi and Perogies
Pretty hard to disagree with that.
That picture makes NO sense
(PS: FUCK BLOGGER)
@29: Thanks. Should have guessed you guys were on it. Nice start to the HOAD. Wouldn't mind Kimikozi'in up to her...wink wink nudge nudge no what I mean.
Lovin' the Olympic Header (even though you've got a double 'the').
edit: 'know' what I mean.
Go You Fucking Canadians Go!
@ Boob: Off the top of my head:
Niedemayer, Toews, Keith, Seabrook, Iginla, Nash, Staal, Weber, Bergeron and a bunch of others all seem to be good guys.
Pronger's an ass, but I'd have him on my team any day.
And while a bunch of people think Crosby's a whiny crybaby, I'd take him over any player on the planet right now.
Shouldn't FOUR HABS FANS be FOUR HABS FANS™ ?
I found myself watching NBC's olympic coverage last night. Here's a note to CTV; SHOW A FUCKING SPORT. Really I can't take much more of Scott Oake.
@sleepy
They TALK about a sport as it's happening instead of showing the sport. Gotta love the endless docudrama
about the dad and kid who are going to see Olympic hockey. That's about the biggest waste of filler I've ever seen. Oh other than the Tim Horton's commerials of course.
@L Dude - nice catch on The The (classic band!). We fixed it
They talk ad nausium about somebody's breakfast cereal and which ear you put the Q-tip in first ... meanwhile some mad fucking german is luging away or some fucking sport thing is actually happening. All you see is Brian Fucking Williams in the nice fireplace room talking. blaa blaa effin blaa
Lots of good info re CTV failing to qualify here.
Just once I want to see the guy spill the coffee on his wife that just got off the plane from some third world country. Oh admit it, it's getting on your nerves too.
Mardi Gras FHFers!
For the man-seeking Moey.
In the spirit of fair play and international cooperation, I'd like to note that while our wonderful nation certainly has some talent, so do our friends south of the border.
Really, i think the "bitching" at the lack of french is reasonable. I don't think any sensible journalist is expecting everyone over in Vancouver to speak french. Most of them are pointing out the fact that this is an olympic event, and french is supposed to be one of the olympic languages... And apparently they can't find a single volunteer/employee who speaks even a modicum of french. I don't think it's exagerated to be dissapointed that the olympic comitee didn't try to get a little more french presence than the announcer. What REALLY irks me are the conspiracy-theorists over on CKAC who think Markov ditched the team just to play with Russia... I think they might forget that Montreal has these medical-types that look at the players and clears them to play or not...
@ Moeman.
pretty sure that was not what was menat by male Olympic hotties.
alhtough I'm sure the guy got a gold medal for most colorful collection of necklaces.
@bea, kinda looks like an Olympian Lloyd Robertson. Non?
@ Boob:
Toews and Iginla are two of my favorite players in all of hockey. I like them so much, I wanna take them behind a middle school and get them pregnant.
@ Flying Toaster,
Nice to hear a moderate make a comment about the lack of french thing. Most Vancouverians couldn't give a flying fuck about anything french. It's not that they snubbed the Pure Firs it's just that it doesn't appear on their radar. Besides being that close to the Pacific Ocean makes you a little drifty ... see California, Repulic of.
I think it's cool to be a country with two languages but the games are in Vancouver and the first language of Canada is English. And I'm sure in Vancouver Chinese is spoken more than French. When Levesque was king of the olympics in '76 did they speak English or French? I wonder.
On another note WTF does the President's Choice commercial mean?? "we feed our athletes blue line products...if it helps them win some races this season we'll take some credit but not too much. After all we are Canadian." Huh? Who writes that?
The first language of Canada is English?
im pretty sure Canada'a first language was Inuit, or Iroquois, or Huron or something like that
@Boob
It was joking
Another joke? Athletes eating McDonalds.
And I no longer want to be a speed skater, I'd like to take up shooting a rifle. I already skate ski so I just need the gun.
If the Molson commercials are any barometer, our first language is "awesomeness".
I tried to find someone in Vancouver who actually speaks Iroquois. NO FUCKING LUCK! But i had no trouble getting an egg roll and some Won Ton soup. I bet there are some pissed off Indians at the Olympics. We better secure the bridges, remove all the wood pallets and beat up broken down cars from Vancouver cause bridge blocking and bond fires is on the agenda. I think.
But in all seriousness unless you live in Manitoba, Edmonton or Northern (and i mean Northern) BC or you haven't been over the Pont Mercier to get your discounted (wink) smokes or play Bingo you probably have not seen an Aboriginal person in years (not knowingly anyways cause the bloodlines are all fucked up). So you can appreciate the 5 or so million French Canadians who while watching the Opening Cermonies might have thought Canada had turned into the Australian outback. No shit i can just see the fucking American retard sitting in his living room watching the ceremonies and planning his vacation with his wife. ''Geezzzzz dear we need to get us up to Can...ada and see some of them In....dians. Never realized there was that many of them up there. Must be like the wild wild west!''
@ Boob; Iginla, Brodeur, Nash, Towes for starters.
Are you actually surprised about the Zamboni. I mean common there are only about 10,000 of those things in operation in Canada and you know good Zamboni mechanics are hard to find. Besides no one wants to work the Olympics the pay is crap!
If i see one more of those Hallmark moments on CTV, TSN or RDS i'm going to be ill. The only thing missing now is a ballad by Celine Dion in one of them and it will be ''fait accompli''.
OH yeah GO FUCKING CANADA!
@Lukey
I'm with you on the President's Choice ads. Someone should tell Galen Loblaw or whatever his name is that if you're bragging about how modest you are then you aren't actually modest.
They didn't use a Zamboni. They used a lesser brand.
The foreign press are already making fun of us for not being able to clear the ice.
Hey it's Vancouver - they don't have ice.
I think the whole zamboni thing is hilarious. It goes perfectly with the commercial "don't forget who's game it is they're playing".
@David
He says "I don't want to brag because I'm Canadian"? Or he brags and then stops because he's a Canadian? Or maybe he's just high on the MSG in blue menu food products.
I lost all hope CTV's coverage will improve when I saw these two abrasive, fake-bubbly talking heads mortifying Elvis Stojko by making him rank last night's pairs skating falls as gold, silver or bronze. Stojko looked like he wanted to smack the two of them.
Oh, and did anyone catch the Norwegian men's curlers' pants? Holy crap, who dressed them?!
Can't watch the Olympics because NBC's coverage is so horrendous. I live in the same fucking time zone but the only events I've actually seen live are the women's hockey blowouts, which is fucking ridiculous.
They did pick a horrible year weather wise, though. Six hours south of Vancouver and the whole month of January didn't involve a single moment where it dropped below 40F/4.5C
Hey, guys, the zabonis are GREEN zambonis, so you shouldn't expect that they would actually work.
@JT
That was my next post! The Norwegian curlers look like clowns. Maybe it's their 100th anniversary commemorative pants.
1-0 Boo-S-A! v. Swiss Misters.
From Stubbs tweet. Pretty funny.
IKEA product or Swedish Olympian?
2-0 Merkans.
Make that 3-0.
Apparently the biathlon is a shambles today. They can't get the starting times straight.
A city more known for its pot smoking than its winter weather.
Not an ideal candidate to organize the winter games?
heh@Boob, even the rain-soaked gretzky looked kinda mushroomy.
am excited about the hockey but am worried that blowouts will beboring to watch.
i feel sorry for Norway where hockey is as off the radar as it is in the South
impressive that they actually have enouhg players for a team but then most probably play on the Swedish league so they may not be as big a pushover as I htink.
hummm
maybe I'll actually watch hockey tonite
@moeman,
Re: pic, there are no words.
I haven't watched any Olympics yet, not even the opening ceremony. Truth be told, I couldn't be arsed. Does that make me a bad Canadian? Oh well.
Bring on Team Canada.
You are welcome Moey.
maelle ricker, yo baby!!!!!!!
Gold ! ! !
gold is right!
local canadian girl kicks ass!!!!
bring on the bc bud!!!
Gorgeous gal, gorgeous win!
29 has an easy pick for a pic for tomorrow morning's thread.
Congrats Maëlle!
Finally something worthwhile in the Canada bragfest. Michael J. Fox taking shots on net on an outdoor rink. Skating, speaking and looking 18.
Love the silver and bronze medalists encouraging the crowd to go nuts for Mäelle.
Snowboarders are definitely the coolest Olympians. Or at any rate truest to the spirit of the games.
@Boob, sunny and 15 degrees. Yeah we're getting baked in the sun today. jealous?
Canadian Girls Rock!!!!
Canadian Babe (who has a sweet BC'd French accent).
We're getting McSplooged tonight. Crap.
Moey, don't offer pierre any beads.
so i have to suffer through McSplooge in the booth and Kypreos in the intermission?? kill me
norwegian jerseys remind me of the throwback Habs whites
29, to make matters worse, we have dave 'hack' hodge to listen to.
Go Sharks! er, Go Canada
we need a McSplooge tracker or something for the whole Olympics. count how many times he mcsplooges on a Canadian player. over/under should be what, 300?
Is JM coaching?
heh @ moe. the style of play is eerily similar
For the love of God, can somebody give that all knowing McSplooge a hockey team to manage/coach. While he's off destroying it and running it into the ground, we'd be spared his never ending shite.
magwire is a bitter ex-NHL 'coach'. He never got a sniff since taking Hartford to, what did he take the Whalers to?
Norgeian save!
GG15 year old...er, I mean Nussbaum15:
"it's like watching the international habs"
@moeman,
His illustrious coaching career with the Whalers yielded 23-37-7. He was replaced mid season. Fucktard.
Didn't magwire make a huge difference in ASSistant-coaching the Pens to some Stanley Cups?
i thought this was supposed to be a Canadian team that could score
@moe - so he claims
Luongo coulda gone snowboarding and no one woulda noticed.
Tonight's international (its a theme bitCHes) drink is Campari (a fave of mine).
On da rocks.
or
With orange juce.
or
With cranberry juice.
Sid da Canadian Kid looks like he's 18. When is it again that he can become a Hab?
Dumbest line of the olympics so far:
"Canada has gone 6 periods without a goal". Hello? That was a different team 4 YEARS AGO!! Am I missing something?
LN11, you are missing out only if you aren't drinking.
CTV/TSN/SN/RDS/V have been beyond amateurish in their broadcast/commentary.
All the ads.
All the hype.
All the annoyance.
All the arrogance.
All the McSplooging.
uh... GO NORWAY! They're so cute. But I'm upset their socks don't look like those curling pants.
Anyone else noticed that through all the hockey talk on tv/radio, and NO ONE has mentioned the thought that Kipper and the rest of Team Finland could maybe fuck someone's medal hopes over?
Nice post N31, most of the teevee'rs have zero clue that there are other teams/atheletes. Its like they are un-prepared. Go figure.
31,
If anyone is going to fuck someone's medal hopes, I want it to be Finland. For obvious reasons of course.
The only team I don't want to see win gold is USA. For obvious reasons of course.
There we go. Iggs.
Heh, the Olé song ....
about goddamn time
Oleeee ole ole oleeeee~
heh, the Norwegian fans are chanting 'cujo'.
@Moe
The nussbaum boys have hijacked the remote and refuse to put on RDS! Not enough to drink in my house to listen to the ctv idiots.
Love the Stevie Y. edict, 'shave the face boys', you iz representin'.
heater!
2-0.
I think mcsplooge coached them on that goal.
iginla, crosby, nash.
not a bad line
this really hurts, but I have to say it; nice shot Pronger
Lovin' the superbly tanned Lemaire behind the bench.
WV = refer, as in dem Vancouverites sure love dat refer, NTTIAWWT
There's only one player on Team Canada I like and it's Jonathan Captain Serious Toews.
Anyone see the hilarious Blackhawks Olympics? Canada owns at popsicle eating.
@moeman,
I spat out my wine on that one.
Sorry about the spillage Moey, hopefully you were able to lick the Merlot from your screen (that last part was for da FHF boys)
Sweet, Lu.
Ross Rebagliati: "it was second hand inhaling"
Georges Bush; "I only put my lips on it"
There ya go, 3-0.
Uh oh. Richards scored. McSplooge will need a tissue.
Anytime someone pisses on Habs fans for singing the 'Euro/soccer' Olé song, I will have the VAN2010 Olympics to shove up their whazoos., especially a Euro-leftcoast-Habs hater like say don cherry ... and how refreshing to not see him at these Games!
@ Moe thank God - there's enough crappy commentors as it is
So this is what talented players look like, huh? Very interesting. Sigh.
That said, GO CANADA GO!!!
31, i"m surprise we haven't heard you giving Maelle a big fuck YEAH!!!!
At work we had the option of getting our pictures taken with the Olympic torch. I would have done it on one condition, that I could set my boss on fire with it. They didn't go for it.
@ hfotwc, that'll be 29, tomorrow.
Maëlle, looks, sounds and skis with beauty.
Louuuuuuuuuuu!
@Moey
That is hilarious.
Getz da last Laf.
now that's more like it boys!!!
sorry Moe, but snowboarders rides
ride
Mc Sloopge: "full frontal assault"
And another BUUUT!
Thanks for the correction hfotwc, I knew I erred when I clicked publish. Regardless Maëlle is a board babe.
@hfotwc,
He also gets really excited when players are playing "down low."
This is the way things are suppose to be
@hfotwc I gave Maëlle the YEAAAAAAAH on twitter. Sorry must have forgotten to do the same here =p (I was at work listening live when she got gold).
Fuck Yeah 8-0!
Iggy hat trick, fuck'n eh!
Maelle, BC homegrown.
Go Canada Go!!!!
McGuire wants to take over as the old Queen of Canadian hockey after Don Cherry retires.
magwired is pathetic
Well played win.
Cannot wait to see Maëlle get her GOLD! medal!!!
Maelle, smart & funny, and she taught that winning an Olympic medal was the coolest thing in the world when she grew up. Well sweetheart, now you are the coolest chick in the world.
Oh lord. Am I going to be able to stay awake to watch the Russians at midnight? Time for a nap!
Any swimsuit prospects in women's hockey?
Anyone know where I can watch the Russia game?
I can't believe the Russian are still wearing those ugly Nike(tm.)uniforms.
Maelle rocks
Go Canada Go
"Semin couldn't unload." Bravo CTV.
and that wasn't pee air?
the Russians are pretty good
The Red Army sings!
The Latvian that just scored, his name sounds like "Action Pants".
Watch USA vs Norway Ice Hockey Men’s Preliminary Live Streaming Video On PC . The 2010 Winter Olympic Games that started on the 12th of February in Vancouver, Canada has got everyone talking.
http://www.clbuzz.com/watch-united-states-vs-norway-mens-preliminary-round-ice-hockey-live-streaming-online/
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