Robbin' the Cradle: Baby Habs 3 - Crybaby Bolts 2 (SO) // Game Preview: Baby Habs vs. Rags

Awwwwwwww - Look at how cute da widdle baby Habbies are!!! *pinch cheeks*

What can I say about yesterday's win vs. the Bolts that hasn't already been said?  Well, maybe there are a few things, but between the work all week and the unhealthy amount of Beer and Jamie I had last night, I can't do anything aside from lazy ass bullet points (with apologies to TMS): Ouch, the light from my screen is bright, yo.

• Palushaj and Dawes didn't look out of place? Check.
• At several points in the game, we had five skaters on the ice who have spent some time in Hamilton this year? Check.
• It was during those points of the game that the Habs had the most hitch in their giddyup? Check.
• The fact that Gionta exploded past fucking Martin St. Louis for the SH goal was one of the coolest instances of midget racing the World has ever seen? Check.
• We shouldn't have had to send the game to OT/SO, but thank you Jeebus at least we still got the two points? Check.
• Gomez, I believe I speak for the entire city when I say, in a language you will understand: No màs, por favor. Check.

While it was undeniably Chickendude's "fault" that the game went into extra frames, I'm not as willing to tar and, er, feather him as some other people were last night.  Stupid retaliation penalty - oh absolutely.  Total brain fart.  I would talk about the fact that I think that the fact that Martin's philosopy regarding standing up for yourself on the ice (i.e. don't) contributes to these kinds of brain dead penalties that the Habs seem to keep taking, but, hey, apparently when the Habs are winning, I'm no longer allowed to question the coach.

But, if taking stupid penalties like that one means that we're just going to nail our poultry to the bench, can't we get some Voodoo priest up in the joint to sacrifice him to the Gods so that we can finally ensure that Squid will score a goal in regulation some time before the regular season ends?

In any event, that kind of shit would never have happened had the refs not played a ridiculous game of "We're letting them play the game... play through it, play through it... no, fuck, shit, now we've lost control and they've gone too far. *blows whistle*" (ouch, fuck that's noisy. Keep it down, ref!) (see also Vinnie's slash on PK to end the 1st period).

And about that slash.  I actually think, objectively speaking, that Vinnie's slash was worse than Chara's hit on Patches.  Chara and Patches were still kinda sorta remotely ish battling in the puck's general direction.  (Did someone make the sun brighter this morning? Is this the first sign of the Mayan 2012 apocalypse?) Vinnie and PK kept going back and forth (and, yes, PK cross checked and slashed him too - why he got 2 minutes) but the final slash happened when Vinnie turned his back to the play and used his stick for the sole purpose of hurting the opposing player that was getting in his way. 

That being said, I think that Vinnie will get the same suspension that was given to Chara. Oh, wait...

**********************

Thank Jeebus we have babies in Habs jerseys lacin' em up for us right now, 'cause I'm not sure the geezer squad would have survived playing 3 games in 4 nights this close to the playoffs.  Who knows, maybe Gill is calling in called in "sick" last night (he flew with the team to NYC today) in order to sit at home and play dressup with his girls instead.  Honestly, I think it would be a smart move for a bunch of them right now. (Shit, woulda been a smart move for me too this morning)

In any event, Habs play the Rags at MSG tonight.  Puck drops at 7:00 PM.  I'll be on my couch, with the tv dimmed, a white noise machine on the background in order to drown out the painful sound of RDS' increasingly inane commentary.

Because I'm lazy (and, seriously, why does my keyboard make so much noise when I type?) I'm not gonna set up a detailed preview.  We saw the Habs play last night.  This is their last meeting against the Rags this year, and the Rags are hoping to avoid a season sweep.  Unless we replace the contents of the players' Gatorade bottles with baby formula, I'm not sure how much our boys have left in the tank. But, hey, kids have limitless energy, right?

And so, as an apology for the lack of a good preview, I leave you with this crazy video. Watch it with your speakers turned up. (Gah - not that loud!) The language is vaguely NSFW (due to swearing), but it's priceless.



Edited to add: If Habs Inside/Out needs to remove the "Habs" from its name, does that mean that we're going to have to change ours to "Four(ish) Foulmouthed and Horny Montreal Hockey Fans"? 
Comments? Loud and bright things are making you wince too? Want to comiserate with others about our various states of sobriety/painful presence thereof? Talk about it in the Comments. I'm off to go buy another bottle of Advil...