Tonight on RDS and the mystery TSN secondary feed, noted troublemaker Sergei "Little Tits" Kostitsyn returns to the scene of his (alleged) crimes against team unity to face stone-cold killer Carey Price and a showdown with his long-lost-in-a-fog-but-better-now brother Andrei. Sergei left the wild frontiers of Montreal and headed to Music City to join big gun toting Shea Weber and learn some honky tonk but tonight he and the Predators come into the Molson's saloon looking for a fight after being blown away like tumbleweeds in Toranna last game. Saddle up!
Cast of characters:
The Stone-Cold Killer: TFS stats for the last four games: 4-0, 0.75 GAA, .979 SP, 2 SO. That sound you hear is the wind whistling through the Preds dressing room as they contemplate those numbers.
The Gunslingers: Big Tits and Cammy each have 3 points in their last 2 games. Captain Gio has 5 in his last 2. Pleks has 6 in his last 2 and is on pace for 94 points. These boys are shooting the lights out, I reckon. For the Preds, youngster Cal O'Reilly and old warhorses JP Dumont and Steve Sullivan are leading the way, although none are exactly dead-eye shooters at the moment.
The Sheriffs: The Preds win with defence, and their defence starts with big gun Sheriff Weber and his deputy Ryan Suter. Along with former Hab Frankie Bouillon, the Preds usually make life in their zone tougher than a night at the OK Corral on Wyatt Earp's worst day. Habs D makes second appearance without Russian Gun Andrei Markov. Can old saddle hands Roman and Jaro keep rustling forwards away from the net? Can the Lightning Kid PK avoid distractions from the Mike "Coward of the County" Richards interview? Will Josh Gorges be the unsung hero who gets to kiss the rancher's daughter in the end?
The Wounded: Russian Gun Andrei's six shooter is holstered indefinitely. Halpern's bell got rung off the saloon doors on Tuesday so he might be shakier than a farmhand on hooch. Nashville's Matt Lombardi got conked on the head by a flower pot off the brothel's second floor during a shootout last week so he's concussed.
The Drifter: Funny as hell but still menacing tough guy Wade Belak won't have much to do tonight so he'll drift around unless someone like Travis "Prairie Gumption" Moen stupidly decides to take him on.
The Angry Loner: Yeah, this is the part where we discuss that low-down dirty scoundrel Sergei "Little Tits" Kostitsyn. Word by way of the wagon trail is ol' Sergei is strugglin', with 3 points and a minus 4 in 12 games. He's also reputed to have had some run ins with boss Barry Trotz. What with the Habs playing so well and Sergei still letting his ten-cent head mess up his million dollar skill set, it looks like the Habs win that trade even if they only have tumbleweeds in the press box to show for it. However, keep an eye on that varmint tonight, because the return to the saloon he was run out of on a rail might motivate Little Tits to go guns a blazin'.
The Pony Express: Get yer news on those dirty low down dawgs from Nashville via On the Forecheck.
The Posse: Final word goes to the posse, which has something to say to anyone disappointed this post isn't an epic Tits versus Tits fest. For entertainment purposes after the game, rustle up a posse for yourself!
