Facing The Beast - Phlyers preview and open thread

Around these parts, there has been a lot of talk lately about who we are scared of. The general consensus is that it's the Phucking Phlyers. And after the Flyers ended the Pens' streak last night to take over the lead in everything, there is no question that Philly is The Beast (of the East). Be afraid kids. Be very, very, afraid.

Somewhere in Time - 7:30 PM from the Bell. On TSN and RDS. Habs coming off the crappiest weekend ever, Flyers coming off that win last night to the Pens, and are 5-0-1 in their last 6. Habs and Flyers have split their two games so far this year; two very, very entertaining games.

Can I Play with Madness - Ryan and his gang over at Flyers Goal Scored By are quite mad, but fun to play with, so go ahead and play.

Best of The Beast - I defy you to name me a Hab who could be considered "hot" right now. The only answer I guess is Squid, who's scored in three of the last four games. For the Flyers, name your poison. Brière and Giroux are scoring. And now Brian Boucher is putting up quality goalie numbers, 3-0-1, 1.20 GAA, .957 save % in his last 4, though Bobrovsky will probably start as Boucher played last night.

Dance of Death - Tits has landed in JM's funeral parlour (Topham may have found the reason why), probably ruined forever. Philly is the best team in the league, no dying players there right now.

No Prayer for the Dying - Looks like both SpaCHes and Gomez are gonna play, despite SpaCHes saying yesterday he was 50-50.  Swiss Mister II, Pie, and two-time waiver loser Boyd are the healthy scratches. For the Flyers, Laperierre is concussed.

The X-Factor - The AHL's leading goal-scorer PatCHes makes his debut for the Habs this season. Let's all enjoy Chokula fucking him up forever. Or him getting a hat trick.

OK now CRANK THAT FUCKING SHIT UP MOTHERFUCKERS:

Richards came across his "C"
He brought PK pain and misery
He killed his smile, he killed his speed
He called him cocky for his own need

We'll fight them hard, we'll fight them well
Out on the rink, we'll give 'em hell
A sold-out Bell, so much to see
Oh please JM, set PK free

Skating through slashing and dirty play
Grueling to play with the pain
Chasing the Phucktards back to their holes
Fighting them at their own game

Shelley suspended, a check in the back
Flyers are assholes and assholes attack

Run to the hills, run for your lives
Run to the hills, run for your lives

Complaining to refs is a fucking waste
Hooking and spearing's their game
Hating their women and wasting the men
Their style of play's always the same

29's drinkin' whiskey and smoking a bowl
Leavin' CHicks to the young 'cause he is too old

Run to the hills, run for your lives
Run to the hills, run for your lives
(guitar solo)

Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh PHUUUCCKKKK

Run to the hills, run for your lives (x4)

GYMFHG

This week in Habs goalie sacrilege: Habs 3, Evil Phucking Piece of Shit Goon Squad 0

I know how much you all enjoyed last week's sacrilege, so here we go again! Look, it's not my fault I'm slated to write up these tough Tuesday night games and TFS goes out and plays with poise to a shutout. You take what's given.

Before we sully this post with tales of Philadelphia goonery, let us recall the simpler times of George Hainsworth. Now there was a goalie! They always talk about statistics and sports records that will never be broken, but that 1928-29 season was something to behold. He played every minute of every game. Suck on that, fat Marty. Out of his 44 starts, 22 of those were shutouts. Fifty fucking percent! Suck on that, Jaro. You know how many games the Habs won that year? 22. Talk about a lack of goal support. They say his glove hand was magic. Take a look at the trapper he had to use. That's right, he didn't even fucking have one! How badass is that? This guy rules. You know who has the Habs' record for most career shutouts? GH. Lowest career GAA? GH. Lowest season GAA? GH. Lowest career playoff GAA? GH. God I miss Robert L.

What was my point again? Oh yeah, I'm a rambling old man and Carey Price is a great fucking goalie.

Since GH was all about the numbers, let's use some digits to recap last night's action:

41 - shots faced and turned away by TFS. Didn't seem like quite that many, and there weren't a lot of quality chances I thought, but maybe it's because he's just making shit look routine now. He almost looked bored on a night of 40 shots. Or maybe it's the poise.

20 - shots faced and turned away by TFS in the 2nd period. Definitely felt like that many. And some quality ones too.

1 - number of head boo-boos to Jeff Halpern after a semi-head shot with a semi-elbow from semi-behind (I'm being kind on all 3). Into the boards. While defenseless.

3 - points for Gio last night, and number of straight games in which he's scored. Remember when we said once Gio and Gomez get going, we might really have something? Well once Gomez gets going, we might really have something.

15.7 - % success rate of the Habs PP today after 2 more PP goals last night. Up to 19th in the league! Andrei who?

Indeterminate - time of Vodkov's absence.

6 - epic PKs by the Habs (out of 6), including some 5 on 3 time. Habs now 89.3%, first in the league.

13,495 - number of penalty minutes given out in the 3rd period. Estimate only.

432,579 - number of Philly cheap shots not called by the refs. Estimate only.

1,378,365 - number of attempts on PFK's life this season. Estimate only.

45 - jersey number of goon Jody Shelley, sent out by Peter Laviolette on the power play with 2 minutes to go in the game in order to goonishly goon. Plus ça change...

0 - number of punches thrown by Mad Max in his first fight since taking boxing lessons this summer. But his form looked good! And he stuck up for his teammates and went after the guy (Powe) who killed Halpern, so I guess that's something.

10 -  number of games since the Goons had lost in regulation going into last night. Suck it, Goons.

10 - douche level on a 1 to 10 douche scale of Chris Pronger and his petulant "let's steal the opposing goalie's shutout puck" business. Phucking Pronger.

3 - more games this season against the Flyers, including next Monday in Philly. Phuck those phuckers. All of you people who argued in the comments yesterday for the Goons as which team we hate most now have Exhibit A.

5:55 - running time of these long-form video highlights after a win.

The Montreal Summer Games of the 25th Stanley Cupiad: Habs-Flyers Game 4 Preview and Open Thread

Of all days where you expect families to fight about hockey and how it takes life over, this is the one. 30 degrees on a Saturday? Let's take the kids to the parc! Let's go fly a kite on the Mont-Royal, let's practice lamaz on the rooftops, let's take the sun in and just be free and young and vulnerable.

No, honey, there's a game and it's at 3 in the afternoon.

I'm a divorce lawyer. I should be expecting some calls this week. I've arranged for my secretary to clear my schedule.

The Bell Centre has anticipated the problem and so instead of a zamboni cleaning the ice in between periods, a machine will flood the surface and turn in into a swimming pool for families to enjoy. Hurrraaay!!!! The weekend is saved!!!!!!! Sand in the prestige section, beach balls, BBQ, the works.

Things are already sizzling though because, game 3 featured what you finally can expect from this rivals. A rivalry. Intensity. It would be nice though from a neutral perspective to have both teams show up for work for the very first time in the series.

Habs have only accomplished half of the first portion of this endeavour; they needed both wins at home to avoid going back to Philly down 3 games to 1.

So a win today and spending the day in a concrete cavern with air conditioning won't feel so bad.

Small post so you can all enjoy the weather and come back later.

When: 3 p.m. call my secretary to book an appointment.

Where: Bell Centre, RDS, CBC, NBC, Versus (really, who gets versus)

Who's 30-degree hot? Meagan Fox, Ste-Catherine street today, PK, Cammy, Gio and the like.

Who's AC cold?: I'm not jinxing anybody, except you, Marc-Andre Bergeron and you, Benoit Pouliot.

Adult entertainment: Hot, hot, steamy, sweat dripping down your back, reach for that cold ice water afterwards, gardening. Get your ass out there and make amends for spending the afternoon indoors.

Who's hot, you're hot, I'm hot, she's hot....

I'm Surrounded by Assholes - Game 3 Preview, Open Thread and Manifesto

I'm Surrounded By Assholes! Game 3 Preview, Open Thread and Manifesto

You know, lately I've been thinking about assholes. Trolls, biased announcers, orange-clad bastards hammering the glass, vandalizing reporter's cars and pouring beer on RDS trucks. Flyers fans can be assholes. Philly fans in general have a reputation as assholes. So do New Yorkers (Rangers and Yankees and Jets fans, mostly),and Bostonians (Red Sox and Bruins in particular). Leafs fans are a different kind of bitter, snarky "why does everyone hate us" asshole. Canadiens fans keep talking about how Montreal is better than that ... how we don't troll, don't abuse opposing fans, blah blah blah. How we're classy. How our grandfathers and dads went to the Forum in suits and ties.

But let's look at the facts: Montrealers riot. Montrealers boo the hell out of opposing players for whatever perceived slight. Montreal fans turn on their own players like vipers. Montreal fans act all smug and arrogant and throw around "24 Cups" and "1967" a lot considering we are 17 years and counting. We're assholes but not to the proper level. We're hated for all the wrong reasons.

Here's the thing, folks: It's not 1950 anymore. It's not 1977. It's not even 1986 or 1993. It's been 14 years since the Forum got mothballed, 15 years since a true francophone superstar dazzled in bleu, blanc et rouge. Almost 2 decades of rudderless management and a corresponding young fanbase that doesn't know anything else. You can't tell me that this franchise and its fans haven't changed. It's all changed, baby. But it hasn't changed for the better or worse. It's changed for the half assed. Montreal fans are caught between the old guard, the "Rocket Beliveau Roadrunner Lafleur ruled, Patrick Roy disgraced the jersey and shouldn't have his number in the rafters" crowd, and the new breed, the "Roy is the greatest of all time why'd we get rid of a superstar like Kovy, Ole ole ole" generation. This team and its fanbase need an identity, and there's only one way to go: ASSHOLE.

Yeah, I said it. It's time to stop half-assing the assholeishness and get serious. More riots! More booing! Senseless violence! Attacking team buses! Mother insults! Looting liquor stores? Amateur hour. Loot the fucking Seagram's distillery, dammit! Enough with being "sort of" assholes. It's go-time for douchebaggery and mindless violence folks! Fewer ties and suits, more tire irons! Less classy, more Clockwork Orange!

Instead of booing the national anthem, pelt the first American in opposing colours with batteries! Instead of shouting "1967" at Leafs fans, bring up the Maple Leaf Gardens sexual abuse ring! Stop answering opposing fan taunts with "Ole ole" and start answering with folding chairs! Talk up the 24 Cups even more. When some asshat starts talking shit about "50 mile rules" or Montreal getting to protect all the French players, don't set him straight with the actual facts ... tell him he's right, the Habs cheated for 50 years and we'd fucking do it all over again! Hell, they all think that's what happened anyway. Tell them we rigged the fucking Lafleur draft too!

And what of the team itself? The Flying Frenchmen aren't walking through that door, folks. The Smurfs aren't the answer. Want to cultivate this asshole image to the max? It's time for a full on, cheapshotting, dirty, diving, Max Lapierre as captain with the Kostitsyn's wearing A's trainwreck of asshole-osity. Big(ger) drug parties. Hookers. Off ice fights. On ice fights. Carey Price getting 16 year old girls pregnant during intermission and smoking on the ice. Trading for Chris Higgins and his dealer back. Retiring John Kordic's number. Making the spear in the nuts our signature offensive play. Denis Leary as coach. Rush Limbaugh as PR director. Replacing the little kids with the flags with Hell's Angels. A 200 foot billboard of PK Subban giving Leafs fans the finger in Yonge Dundas Square in Toronto. A traveling fan base that makes English football fans look like an actuarial conference.

Josh Gorges needs to start growing a bad goatee and celebrating victories by spitting at opposing fans. Jacques Martin needs to channel Reggie Dunlop. We need to trade to get Grabovski back. Komisarek too. And Milan Lucic. Let's get Claude Lemieux out of retirement. Hire Patrick Roy as GM. Start calling the kids at the annual Children's Hospital Christmas party weaklings and lazy for staying in bed all day. Ask Jacques Parizeau to write the season tickets application with "No ethnics need apply" stamped across the top. Turn the Molson Zone into a Champagne room, and the red seats into a Molson Zone. Start handing out commemorative coins to throw at referees at home games. Change the logo from CH to FTW.

Everyone already hates the Canadiens and their fans. We might as well make it worth their while. Consider this the call to asshole.

Stuff you namby-pamby sissy fans probably care about:

Game time 7:00 pm at the (Ring your fucking) Bell Centre, on some shitty US Stations and the dumbass CBC and RDS.

Stupid overrated child abuser Michael Leighton (whose mama is a ho) starts for Philly because he's a lucky jerkoff who has a billion minute shutout streak. Useless flash-in-the-pan-not-nearly-as-good-as-that-fucking-Price-dude Jaroslav Halak gets the nod for Montreal.

Illegitimate child of a Chicoutimi hooker Jacques Martin says badass mofo Ryan O'Byrne may dress in place of useless sack of shit Mathieu Darche as Habs go to 7 defencemen. Terrible waste of skin Chicken also back in favour of awesome Belarussian shit-disturber and partyboy Little Tits.

Cheap dirty lucky Flyers make no changes, except Scott Hartnell's wife, who changed the motel she frequents with all his teammates. Daniel Briere changed his purse to match the Flyers faggotty white road unis.

You got something to say, fuckface? Add it in the damn comments. Or don't. We'll be too busy punching Flyers fans in the throat and flipping cars to notice.

Things are getting ugly - Flyers game preview and open thread

So how's that for a Sexy Friday? Well, you get what you deserve you Habs. One win in their last six games. At the most crucial time of the year. That's fucking ugly. Over those six games, they have scored a grand total of 11 goals. And two of those were into a fucking empty net. That's even uglier.

But the most ugliest ugly this week was the fucking fans who booed Carey Price for getting a third star. Fuck you, you idiots, And fuck JM for not really giving Carey some support. That was pretty ugly too, and his bullshit "I respect the fans. They pay good dollars to be entertained and they have a right to an opinion" answer was pathetic. Stubbs got that one right. Hal Gill ripped into the fans who booed, like a real leader. JM's passive bullshit is ugly. Let's face it, things are ugly. Like a big fat ass.

But all can be redeemed with a mere win! Just one, for fuck's sake. Is that too much to ask? Let's hit the bullets to quickly set this one up, 'cause we gotta blow out of here for the long weekend:

• 7 PM start at the Wachovia Center, and it's on TSN. Philly ain't too hot either, losers of 8 of their last 11. I'm sure we all remember getting crushed by Philly in a home and home going into the Olympic break. At least we had Cheryl Bernard and Ashleigh McIvor to cheer us up after that. Ahh, good times. Saw Ashleigh on The Hour yesterday. Looked fabulous! Sorry, where was I?
• Flyers Goal Scored By... is an awesome source of Flyers opinion. And Ryan's a decent guy. And they have an iPhone app! They're fancy;
• Hot Habs - yeah right. Maybe Big Tits who has four points in his last four. And our goalies I guess;
• Danny Brière has 3 points in his last 2 games. That qualifies as hot for the Flyers;
• Anyone who is either supposed to put the puck in the net or play defence is cold for the Habs;
• Mike Richards has a mere point in his last 5, and the Flyers have goaltending issues;
• Oh look, more injuries! Little Tits is day to day with some lower-body issues, and he did not make the trip to Philly. Flyers lost their only serviceable goalie, Michael Leighton, for the rest of the season, and leading scorer Jeff Carter is out probably 'til the end of the year too;
• Your starting goalie is good 'ol Jaro. Does that mean Price comes back tomorrow night in Montreal?
  
• How about a post-game adult entertainment establishment? Head over to Cheerleaders, which is within spitting distance of the Wachovia Center. Looks classy. Bottle of Stoli only $225. Bring cash.

OK as mentioned we're outta here (to the land of the 56k modems but 50" HDTV). Be excellent to each other, and HF4 and GG will have you covered over the busy next two days. I hope to return to all lollipops and sunshine on this here corner of the interwebs. I expect to return to tar and fathers.

TFS looks to conquer Philly - game preview and open thread

So the big pre-Olympic break finish is upon us. A home and home with the Flyers. If one game in the East clusterf*** would be called a 4-point game, would we not have to call this an 8-point home and home? F*** me, lawyers s*** at math. Either way, these two games will go a very long way to deciding how we think about this team while we watch Team Canada lose the bronze medal game to the Slovaks (a Jaro shutout, thanks to the power of chocolate milk).

Waiting in line for a cheesesteak details - 6 PM from the Wachovia Center. 6 PM? WT*? I guess they want to finish on time for us to watch the opening ceremonies. Habs have actually won 6 straight (regular season) in Philly. Again, WT*? Habs coming off the Miracle on de la Montagne, while the Flyers are coming off sweeping a home and home from the Devils. Habs won the only meeting so far, 3-1, in a game where all 3 of our goal scorers - Squid, Big ***s and the Urologist - won't be in the lineup tonight.

Ready to rumble - Ryan and Fran do great work over at Flyers Goal Scored By...

Hot like the Eagles Cheerleaders - Pleks with 4G 4A over his last 6 games. Gomez 6 points in his last 4. Props to Little ***s and his 3 ***ists against the Caps, maybe the best game he's ever played. For the Phlyers, Jeff Carter has a goal in each of the last 2 games, Pronger has 3 points over that span, Gagné a point per game over his last 6, and Michael Leighton has played well between the stripper poles lately.

Cold like a brew from the Philadelphia Brewing Co. - after the Miracle, let's say no one. Though the Faceoff preview numbers say both Jaro and TFS are cold. I guess the TSN guys know what they're talking about, right? For the Phlyers, Brière and Richards both a measly single point in their last 4.

Injured like when BobBY Clarke hacked you in the back of the leg - oy, I don't even know where to start here. Apparently both Vodkov and Gorges are game-time decisions. The Subway Foot Long will be there in case one of them can't go. Dominic Moore will wear #42, and should be in the lineup. In case you have forgotten, our other injured are: Squid, Urologist, Big ***s, CHicken, Mara.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - head over to Christine's Cabaret and Steakhouse for some meat, and uh, meat. You know, for all the strip clubs we have in Montreal, do we have one where I can get a decent steak? No. I feel this is a real business opportunity.

All hockey and opening ceremony comments welcome

Phantom Penalties to the Rescuuuuue! Habs 4 - Flyers 3 (O.T)

Alex Kovalev's family celebrates another three-point showing for the talented Russian

At first, it looked like the train wreck we have often shielded our eyes from. Two quick goals, a slow and stunned Canadiens' squad once again hurt by terrible mistakes in their own zone and an unwillingness to pay the price in front of their own net.

It must have been a weird opening faceoff for Glen Metropolit, who grinned a helpless grin at his former teammates at centre ice. 

It was a clumsy first for Roman Hamrlik who has looked nothing like the man Bob Gainey acquired last year. In the spectrum of giveaways, Hamrlik didn't simply "cough" the puck up, he "tuberculosised" the puck up. I'm not kidding. It looked like this.

- Mike Richards: Hey, Roman, here's the puck.

-Roman: No thanks, I have tuberculosis, you can have it.

-Mike Richards: Geez, thanks Roman! Hope you feel better.

With 5 minutes left in the first, the Habs had had enough. They had been able to get some good shots on Antero Niittymaki, a name RDS strangely makes sound like a Japanese Formula 1 driver. "Nitoumaki's still in third, Matsuzaka's just behind! Button has overtaken Barrichiello but this race in Nuremberg is all about Nitoumaki!   The man's from Finland people. Finland. The only thing remotely Japanese about Finland is Mika Hakkinen, you know, in that strange David Hasselhoff in Germany kind of way.

The team finally came to life with Zombie Pleks doing the Zombie dance. Another goal on his resume over the last few games, and while he still stands as the worst 17-goal scorer in the league, we'll take'em all and do the Zombie with him every single time.

Greek Lightning hits a few seconds later and makes it a game. The Habs wouldn't stop there, with Kovalev wristing one right by Nakataka Nitoumaki. Flyer fans got mad, several Habs fans were probably molested in the washrooms during the first intermission but it's a small price to pay for victory, and trust me Habs fans, if you make the trek in a Habs uniform to watch a Habs game in Philly, you're all in this together. 

The game settled into a more tight checking affair, with Philly tying the score at 3 and Montreal incapable of getting anymore Zombie love, or Kovy After The Nap magic. Both teams traded chances throughout the third with nothing giving.

Can you all tell I stepped out after the first period and went out for supper? That's how you bullshit people. You just throw in the ambiguous "tight-checking game", "traded chances", yadayada. 

But I did watch the overtime and the Flyers got screwed by some less than reffing. Upshall gets called for goalie interference, while I don't think he so much as blinked at Halak. The power play was obviously designed to ignite fireworks in Jerusalem and make all observing Jews regret keeping the Sabbath and missing the game. Matty finally ended it after several attempts and we all broke out the chopped liver.

Kovy made a great move to thread the pass over to Matty on the winning goal and thousands of miles away, the strong Kovalev women pictured above celebrated into the wee hours of the afternoon.

Call it a great night for the Russians, the Zombies, and the Jews and a less than great one for the Japanese. Nitoumaki was seen after the game drunk at a karaoke bar.

Hockey Gods Finally Land Karmic Knockout on Flyers, Announce Little Fuckity-Fuck is Next

And there is much rejoicing at FHF headquarters and in every NHL city save Philly, as the hated Flyers get their karmic comeuppance at the hands of Sid, Geno, MAF, and Staal. Thank Christ. Now if the Wings can get their act together and knock off the little fuckity-fuck (the so-far invisible in the series little fuckity-fuck, I might add) we can all sit back and enjoy our summer.

Pulling Out All the Stops for the (Potential) Last Game Preview and Open Thread

I have been saving this stripper six-pack for a special occasion. The game where we needed all the help we could get. Well, that game is now. Win or go home. Do or die. Backs against the wall. My god, I've become a cliché-ridden sportswriter. Fuck that shit. You know we just gotta play 'em one game at a time, and the good Lord willing, things will work out. Wait, what?

Waiting in line details - 7 PM, bla bla bla.

Really nice Flyers fans who would never do stupid shit - The fine bloggers of Flyers. Femme, eager to go psycho, Flyers Goal Scored By, and Cuseadelphia.

Hot sexy Habs to watch - hmmm, hmmm, uh, Koivu is working hard. The blonde who sits behind Carbo.

Hot sexy Flyers to watch - all of 'em, with Marty Biron and Danny Brière at the top of the list. We're losing 3-1, in case you didn't notice.

Skanky Habs to watch - a long list, but my focus is on Kovalev. Where the fuck has he been this series since a decent Game 1? The only time I've heard his name is in relation to the phrase "loses the puck." By extension, the Habs PP blows;

Tragically, Cedric Desjardins injured his groin (at Club Downtown) and won't play - Price gets the start. Can he earn back the TFS(tm) tag?

Carbo tries to coach, simply reverts back to old form - besides the always big move of pulling a tie off a tie rack, Carbo comes up with these lines for tonight - the old Danse à Dix Line, the old SlowGreekBang line, Koivu-Higgins-Little Tits, and the rest (SwissLaLa). Man, I am going to be pissed when Ryder pots 40 for some Southern team next year.

Stupid factoids of the week that may only interest Peter King - Habs have only "led" a game in this series once, when we scored in OT of Game 1. The last NHL team to come back from a 3-1 deficit was in fact the Habs in 2004 against Boston. The double-shot non-fat latté at the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport Starbucks is terrible.

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - if the Habs are eliminated, we're going on a drunken meth-fueled rampage through the strip clubs of Montreal like you wouldn't believe. Be sure to catch the arrest and arraignment on your late local news.

Maybe for the last time, let's hear your dirty, dirty thoughts in the comments.

The Present of Evil: A Reader Heads Into the Heart of Evil and Escapes with His Life

Regular FHF reader Adam went down to Philly for Game 3. He sent in this account along with video of assorted Philly fans calling him an asshole. He may be an asshole in real life, I don't know, but I'm guessing it had more to do with the CH on his chest. The piece was edited for length, so my apologies if it no longer makes sense. Also, the views expressed therein do not necessarily reflect, yada yada...

Fear And Loathing in Philadelphia: or, What it's Like to Watch a Habs Game in Philly and Why the Flyers Don't Deserve a Cup

Philadelphia - Somewhere between one of the many repetitive scoreboard tributes to great moments in Flyers thuggery, being told for the 27th time to "get the f***k out of America and go back to Canada" and witnessing a teenage girl wearing a Habs jersey get a full beer thrown at her by a drunken ruddy-faced Flyers "fan", the thought occurred to me that this city - which is neither loving nor brotherly - does not deserve to bask in a Stanley Cup parade. These so-called "fans", who are nothing more than orange-clad hooligans looking for any desperate excuse to get drunk, scream obscenities at the top of their lungs and hopefully start a fight, do not deserve a Stanley Cup. This organization, which does nothing to promote the sport of hockey other than stir up the basest most aggressive sentiments within its supporters, does not deserve a Stanley Cup.

Sidestepping a gob of spit that had been aimed at my feet by one of my courteous hosts, I walked into the Wachovia Center. As I crossed through a large entrance, my field of vision was assaulted by an intimidating sea of orange. At the gate, I noticed a woman handing out orange t-shirts sporting the slogan "Crush The Canadiens" and thundersticks (ugh! They have no business in a hockey arena) with the word "VENGEANCE" inscribed on them. As I approached her, I stretched out my hand to accept the free souvenirs but her eyes quickly narrowed as she spotted the CH on my chest and she turned away from me, refusing to give me a t-shirt. Soon my friends and I found ourselves surrounded by about 50 Flyers fans chanting "Ass-Hole! Ass-Hole", an experience that was actually quite amusing at first but grew annoying as we endured the same chant over and over again throughout the night. I will admit, it is quite a unique experience to have thousands of people systematically strain their voices to profess their hatred for you. It's almost empowering in a sense, like being a universally loathed celebrity.

Beyond the booing of the Canadian national anthem - a disgusting practice that Montreal fans are shamefully guilty of as well - it was the violence and the ignorance that got to me throughout the course of the night. Booing the Canadian anthem was stupid in itself for no other reason than the fact that exactly 50% of their starting roster, including their top scorer and starting goaltender, is Canadian. Rather than celebrate their team's successes amongst themselves, the Flyers fans made sure to punctuate every goal by hurling fistfuls of garbage at the small group of Habs supporters assembled in our section. It was clear minutes into the game that they took greater pleasure and spent more energy cultivating a good beer buzz and deriding opposing fans than actually paying attention to what was occurring on the ice.

Rather than educate its fans or promote a sense of appreciation for quality hockey, the Flyers organization instead relentlessly promotes violence at every opportunity, glorifying moments like Ron Hextall slashes or Bobby Clarke punching a Russian player in the face. These images which are constantly displayed on the scoreboard during stoppages in play, never fail to raise a loud chorus of cheers from Philly's bloodthirsty fans. Just picture this: there's two minutes remaining in a game that your team miraculously leads by a goal despite being outshot 34-14. The other team is peppering your goalie with pucks from all angles. Rather than dig your nails into your thighs and thank the hockey gods for this undeserved lead, you opt to stand up with a few hundred fellow morons and turn away from the game in order to face a handful of the opposing team's fans in order to participate in a 30-second "Ass-Hole" chant. Finally, when your team manages to squeak out an undeserved win, rather than admit your luck to the few actual diehard fans who drove over 8 hours to watch this game in your pathetic city, or even continue to tease them good-naturedly, you opt to threaten to kill them, actually elbow them as they walk past you quietly or - why the hell not - sucker punch them on the side of the head as you run past and tell them to go back to their country. No fool guilty of such stupidity deserves to be described as a fan of any hockey team, let alone celebrate a Stanley Cup victory. No organization that hasn't won a championship in three decades yet proudly clings to and continuously fosters the development of a thuggish legacy deserves to sip from Lord Stanley's Cup.

Let's out these classless buffoons in six (ed.'s note - now seven, i.e. no chance in hell) so their "fans" can get back to watching the Phillies, a team that plays a sport they actually understand - I think.

Philly Makes Phour Habs Phans Phrustrated

Frustration (noun):
1) the feeling that accompanies an experience of being thwarted in attaining your goals
2) an act of hindering someone's plans or efforts
3) a feeling of annoyance at being hindered or criticized; "her constant complaints were the main source of his frustration"

see also: Martin Biron, Flyers vs Habs 2008 Playoffs.

The FHF and Canadiens fans worldwide are phrustrated. Philly is phoiling the Habs phormerly phoolproof plans and threatening to send them phalling right out of the playophs. Phuck.

You know what? To hell with trying to be clever or interesting. This series is frustrating as all fucking hell. For all of these reasons:

Price: I love the kid, and I still think he will be a star, but it is frustrating to see the goals he's let in. Is he tired? Hurt? Getting jerked around by Rollie Melanson? No idea. But the big saves haven't been there in the past few weeks, and the team is in a hole because of it.

The Defence: Hamr looks tired. Doom's positioning looks like hell lately. Where the hell was he on the winner last night? Markov isn't creating the way he was early in the season. Gorges has been fantastic ... but Josh Gorges is a fifth defenceman, folks. He's struggles with too much responsibility, spends a lot of time flailing at pucks, and is still learning. O'Byrne has had no impact whatsoever in the playoffs. Part of the Habs success this season was directly attributable to a hardworking, steady defence. We haven't seen the same levels in the playoffs.

The Forwards: Has Kovy done anything since game 1 of this series? Last night I counted at least three times when he made a cut with the puck and just fell over untouched. What the hell? Higgins is snakebit and seriously making me rethink my prediction that he could be a future 40-40 guy. Mad Max is either awesome or invisible; the same goes for the Tits bros. Koivu has been his regular self, working like a maniac, creating, winning faceoffs, and taking his customary offensive zone penalty nightly. Pleks ... well, I don't have a fucking clue what the hell is wrong with Pleks, but he looks far more like a second or third liner than a first line centre at the moment. Gui! Gui! Gui! never stops working, but he can't skate well enough to play in this league right now. The second goal last night was all because he couldn't keep up with Scott Hartnell. Scott Fucking Hartnell is no speedster. Michael Ryder should have had a shot before this point in the series because he might, just might, pot the ugly goal this team needs.

Slowinski, Greek Lightning and Begin have been outstanding (I'll get to the hit in a minute) but when your fourth line is your best line, you are in deep.

Carbo: Juggled the lines a little. Resulted in a bit of a spark. Messed up the goalie situation yesterday, in my opinion. I know Halak played well enough, but what happens next game? The game after that? Next year? We're dealing with what everyone claims is the Franchise Saviour here, and this is the result? Troubling. I hope it works out. Halak can be a solid goalie in this league ... but he doesn't have the career trajectory Price may have.

Other problems? Carbo thinks that he wouldn't change anything about how the team has played ... oh, really? You wouldn't try crashing the net a little more? Wouldn't think of playing someone like Ryder or Gui with Pleks and one of the Tits, so that line wouldn't spend all it's time dipsy-doodling in the corner or twenty feet from the net instead of going where garbage goals get scored? Wouldn't think to start the Tits and Pleks as the first power play unit on the nights when they are all flying, and the extra space lets them be creative, instead of trotting out Koivu, Higgins and Kovy to pass it around the perimeter until Streit or Markov launch an unscreened shot or Kovy loses the puck along the boards, leading to a Flyers clearance? Wouldn't recommend trying to shoot from odd angles, off screens, anything to get Biron moving around so it doesn't always hit him in the chest?

The Calls: Yeah, the call last night on Begin wasn't the greatest. But he was stupid to do it, especially in a close game, especially with the horribly inconsistent refereeing in the NHL right now. Don't give these guys a reason to penalize you because all the unwritten rules about "playoff hockey", "lettin' em play" and "putting the whistles away" are gonzo. Nobody has a fucking clue what kind of game they are getting from night to night anymore. You get on with it. Unlike some people, I won't claim the refs cost us anything if and when the Habs are out. The Habs are spending twice as much time on the powerplay as the Flyers. Clearly the calls aren't the issue. The horrible, one-trick-pony special teams? That might be part of the problem.

Martin Biron: Best hockey of his NHL career? Possibly. In a zone? Looks like it. Full of confidence? Yep. But this is not a man playing Dominek Hasek in '99/Patrick Roy in '93/Johnny Bower in '68 out of his mind. The Habs don't have enough traffic, aren't making Biron work hard at lateral stuff, are letting him get set for the shooter, are firing pucks right at him (and he isn't a huge man.) I defer to the judgement of FHF resident goalie expert Panger, but I don't think Biron is unbeatable. The number of posts the Habs have hit attests to that somewhat, right? Can Biron keep it up? Lesser goalies have. There will be no shame in losing to a hot, hot goalie.

The bounces: The Breezer own goal. RJ Fucking Umberger's 5 seeing eye goals. The posts. Have you ever seen so many bounces go one way? Last night, the second Flyer goal went off the post to Hartnell's stick like it was placed there. The winner could have bounced in a dozen different directions ... it went right to a wide-open Briere. Up until Koivu's goal last night, I couldn't recall one cheap bounce that landed where the Habs could take advantage, other than Carter's broken stick in Game 1. It's been that kind of series. That sucks, it's frustrating, it makes me curse a blue streak. But it's happening. However ...

The Flyers are getting the job done: We can all complain about the posts, or claim the Habs are outplaying the Flyers, or lament that none of the shots are going in, or bitch about the refs, or lament that Price is a sieve. But the Flyers are stifling the powerplay with good defensive work, they are scoring timely goals, they are hitting, blocking shots, and making the most of their chances. Isn't that what good teams do? These are not Bob Clarke's wretched 2007 Flyers. They are fast, and tough, and opportunistic, and they are getting great goaltending.

The opposing fans and "experts" are coming out of the woodwork: Is this the worst part? Hell yeah, it's the worst part. "Price is overrated." No, Price is a 20 year old kid in a slump. His contemporaries like Tuuka Rask and Justin Pogge aren't even in the league yet. The Great Blue and White Hope in TO can't even beat out Scott Clemmensen in the AHL. Price will be fine. "The Habs are overrated and now they are being exposed": I fail to see how a team picked by almost everyone to finish out of the playoffs is overrated. Overachieving? Hell yeah. But this isn't NCAA football; the Habs reached 1st place by winning games, not by some sort of popular vote. Don't forget, if Pittsburgh doesn't shit the bed in the final game of the year, maybe they go to seven games against hard-charging Philly, and the Habs get a second round date with the Rangers or Devils. The Habs ran into to two strong, physical teams with hot goalies (and, in the Flyers case lots of guys who can put pucks in the net), and suddenly they are headed for next year's lottery? Not bloody likely.

So yeah, this sucks: Yeah, being behind in a series in this manner sucks. But it ain't over. And if the Habs lose this round and it is 16 years since the last Cup, I'll be pissed (because I measure success in Cups, not "good playoff runs", or "good lottery picks", or "great regular seasons".) It will suck less than most of the last ten years. Oh, fuck it. It sucks. Win in seven, you fuckers!

Game 5 Review: Flyers 4, Habs 2

Steve Bégin, you're an asshole.

Habs Need Some Tits, er, Positive Mojo - Pivotal Game 4 Preview and Open Thread

Big thanks to the Habs Girls group on FB and especially its glorious leader Mike for providing the awesome pic. I only wish I had been the painter.

The word "pivotal" is bandied about quite often when referring to playoff games. "My God, it's the pivotal Game 2!" might not make much sense, but with the Habs down 2-1, you can damn well bet this one fits the description. Come back with home ice advantage for a best of three series, or slink back to Montreal down 3-1 and not a chance in hell of moving on. It's a simple equation. And the Habs need all the positive mojo they can get to find the right side of that equation. So we're gonna try not to be negative for once. Sure, I know that's a change for us, and that's not why you come here, but we gotta try something, right? So go ahead and paint your tits and read these exclamation point-laden bullet points to get your positive juices a-flowin':

• 7 PM start, Wachovia Center. It's on CBC, so you can watch the fabulous Bob Cole! And the equally fabulous Don Cherry! Like fine wine, age has only made those two guys better;
• We praise the fine bloggers of the Flyers, Flyers. Femme, eager to go psycho, and Flyers Goal Scored By. Today we add Cuseadelphia to that list. Seem like nice chaps;
• Breezer is back in the line-up! As Fezworth correctly pointed out in the comments yesterday, we've lost both games with him out. We have been saved!
• We welcome the return of the delightful Mike Knuble to the Flyers line-up;
• Who cares which goalie plays for the Habs? They are both wonderful!
• Habs are kicking ass in the SOG department! 36-23 in Game 2, then 34-14 in Game 3;
• Martin Biron is undoubtedly a leading Conn Smythe Trophy candidate, and Danny Brière is near the top of playoff scoring. Well deserved!
• Unrelated to the game, Sean Avery has been hospitalized with a lacerated spleen. We wish him a speedy recovery, he's such a fine amiable fellow that the entire hockey world should rally around.

Too much?

I Was Incredible! Feeledelfia 3, Mentreal 2

You kent alweys get wat you want, you kent always get wat you want, but if you try sometime….lalala. I lav thet song, reely fentestic museec.

Game at Bell Centre waz so baad for teem, but was joke for big clown Cari. Put your stupide red nose on your nose clown Cari! You pley like litel clown and kids laf at you and you are clown! Hole teem say to me, its ok the stupide clown pley better next time.

So we take aroplane to Feeladelfia. Stupide teem sing baxing song wen we land. You no baxers Mentreal Cenediens! You hackey guys! Hackey guys and clown guy, this is reel name of teem. Hello, I am Jaro. I pley for hackey guys and clown guy.

Now game stori. Big clown go to net. So crazy things heppen. I pley hapskatch in halls and when I cam back to bench I see only 3 filadelfia guys on ice. We are 5! I no wat heppen. Same thing in league in Parkesh when one pleyer pleying and he fall becase he skate no tied! Ha! He fall all the time. Wen he go beck to bench to tie skate, he make mistake and tie he skate to player next to him skate! Wen coach tell them to go pley they fall together on ice! So fanny!!! I think filadepihia pleyers do same thing on bench in 3 game. Stuck on bench on no cant move. Hahaha.

Mentreal so sad for filadelfia we tell feelaphia pleyers, its ok we no score on you, we pass pack until they come beck. So we pley with pack on all the ice for 2 minoutes. Pheeladelfeea pleyers untie skate laces and go beck on ice.

Then Mentreal tell golie Biron, its ok golie Biron, we have open net and you not in your position becase you fall, we wait for you to go beack in net and we shoot pack in your belly, its no fare to shoot pack if you not in your net golie Biron. If we can we also hit post for you to give you the time to bo beck to your best pasition. I hear Kepten Saku tell Biron this. Biron give him big hag. It look very man gay, like Tchecoslovaka Sunday opera.

In second period, I watch beeeautifoul blond woman behind coach Carboner all period. She make my penis go to my pads. I tell her I like her and leek the glass so mach. We probably get married soon. Then Cari soooo jelos of Jaro, he cry in net like baby clown and say “I want marry her, I want marri her!”. I laf so hard. You think beutifooul girl like this want fat guy like you? Cari you cat your hair you look like peecack. I call you Chanel 5 Cari always now! And you want girl? No way Channel 5, she is for me.

So Cari pley 20 meenutes of so crep hackey. Filadelphia have 1 shat in second period and score 3 gols! So in break, coch tell me Jaro, you pley period 3. I tell coch “ no, I have date with Virginia, blond girl behind the bench!” Cocah no understand and I have to pley. But she watch me so I pley good. I make so many saves! Two! Two saves!!!! Marri me Virginia!!!!!!

Teem try to fix Cari crep clown hackey but also no want to hurt Biron feelings so only make 2 gols. Mentreal want to be nice becase every fieldephia fan have oroange ts-hirt say “Cenediens”. Papa call me after geme and say “That was most incrredibel golie performance alltime in history of Chekoslovakia. Everbady is celebrating with big parade outside. You make two saves and give all children hope. They change name of street from Havel Street to Havel Boulevard . women hagging each other crying saying ‘did you see Jaro saves?’ Tomoarrow no work here, netional haliday”. Coach tell me that becase my 2 saves I probably ween Conn Smythe trophy. I think so too. Cari ween Clown Smythe trophy!!!

OK bye!

Things are Heating Up - Game 3 Preview and Open Thread

Ask and ye shall receive! I wanted some emotion on Saturday night and I guess I got in the form of a Tom Kostopolous sucker punch to the face. Note to all other Flyers - taunt Greek Lighning at your own peril. That Mediterannean emotion will take over and you'll get what's coming to you.

That punch / facewash was only part of the story of the nastiness. The coaches got into a war of words over it. During the game, there seemed to be pushing and fracases after alot of whistles. Big battles along the boards. Some crease and goalie shoving. A playoff series is beginning to emerge. So with the heat rising, let's hit the bullet points to turn up the thermostat even more:

• 7 PM start, Wachovia Center. Good seats still available! Habs did win twice there during the regular season, but of course that means dick all;
• God bless the fine threesome of Flyers blogs, Flyers. Femme, eager to go psycho, and Flyers Goal Scored By. Ryan's post about NHL'ers taking internships is killer. And Nadine: 3 down, one to go!
• The SlowGreekBang Line has been our most dominant line all post-season, so of course Carbo is breaking them up. Habs I/O reports the lines will be: KoKoHigg, Pleks and the two Tits, Slow Gui! and the Greek, then Mad Max, Streit and Bégin. Oh Ryder, will we ever see you in a Habs uni again?
• Also, Rhino plays again, let's hope he's starting to get comfortable. Breezer continues to be sidelined by his mysterious leg injury. Give it up - which one of our three loyal readers went Gilooly on his ass? I owe you dinner!
• Props where props are due - Brière, Biron, Timonen, Umberger, Jim Dowd. I knew Habs should never have let Dowd go as a UFA;
• TFS - who's worried?
• Other, less important, suckitude - Mad Max, Gui!, El Dandy. And PLEKS! How can I forget him? (thanks matt-ftc);
• On a more positive note, I think we actually played one of our best games of the playoffs Saturday Night. Seriously. Their hot goalie dominated our shaky goalie. I really feel good about that performance (TFS excluded). Am I on crack? (or meth? wait don't answer that).

We will be watching some of the game tonight at casa del HF29's mom. Look for a special appearance in the comments! So behave. Or not. Mom can swear with the best of you.

Who's Worried?

Looks like no FHF wants to write a review of last night's 4-2 loss. My feeling is that we're all starting to secretly worry about TFS and we're scared to admit it. Totally outplayed by Marty Biron last night. Ick.

A History But No Present of Evil: Flyers Game 2 Preview and Open Thread

For about 15 minutes on FHF you may have seen some chick in a cat suit. Pretend it never existed. I had a whole thing about wanting a "catty" angry, gritty hockey game but when i hit publish it was just stupid. I realised The Evil Flyers had taken over my brain or something. Or it's the meth. So I deleted it. My problem I realise, is that I have no hatred for the present Flyers. Only the Past ones. That's why we've been writing a history of evil on FHF. Past Flyers are much more fun to hate. Booing Briére is just not cutting it enough as a hatred. That's why I tried to invent some stupid cat thing based on some hot stripper pic I had, because I have no real hatred for this version of the Flyers. Not to mention, we seem to like their fans and bloggers. So cmon Flyers, you've got at least 3 more games to make me hate you. Anyway, here's an evil looking stripper insteaad and most of the rest of the post I deleted, which is a pretty decent preview. No point wasting it. It's like two for one!

So, you know, game one was alright. Pretty exciting really, what with the crazy bounces and goals and a happy ending. But it was exciting in the regular season sense. Both teams were tired and sloppy from their 7 game series. The couldn't give us the epic, tough playoff battle type of exciting. There was that Richards hit on Kovy (btw, no attempt to injure imho, though others disagree), but no real chippiness. So that's what I want starting tonight (well, not attempts to injure) - emotions. Grittiness. Dirt. A playoff series, for fuck's sake. Here's some bullet points to get the catfight going:

• 7 PM start. Have any of you been to that lame "tailgating" thing next to the Bell Centre before games? What's the deal?
• Be sure to pray to the Holy Trinity of flyers blogs, Flyers. Femme, eager to go psycho, and Flyers Goal Scored By. Nadine, i'm working on getting HF4 and Panger over to take your dare. They're stuck in a strip club, as usual;
• SlowGreekBang Line. Who loves ya baby?
• And Kovy. You know, he does stupid things, he disappears for periods or games sometimes, but in the end he always seems to get plenty of points in the playoffs, again this year a point per game;
• Hot for the Flyers - Jim Dowd!
• No line-up changes, meaning Breezer is free to score more goals (into his own net! [rimshot]) while Rhino's built-for-the-playoffs giant body languishes in the pressbox;
• Here's what I think. The Flyers were tired in game one, and we were pretty lucky to win. This game is going to be a lot tougher.

Alright enough talk from me, let's hear it from you. Go hockey, go pants, etc, etc.

Go Greek Lightning - Habs 4, Phlyers 3 (OT)

Although we here at FHF would never suggest to an attractive young lady such as this keep her jersey on, it's probably too early to be jumping off the Flyers bandwagon just yet. Besides, girls like this look hot in any hockey Jersey, even if it is the Face of Evil.

AND THIS IS WHY HE SHOULD BE LOCKED IN A TRUNK: the Flyers first goal is deflected behind TFS (tm) by the anti-Saviour, Breezer. Where oh where is Rhino??

Is it too early for lunch? Some guy named 'Hamburger' got credit for the first goal.

Who knew we'd long for the days of Jim Dowd? The former Hab (well, he's a former a lot of things) doubled the visitor's lead in the first, scoring one of the prettiest goals of the playoffs. Coming from JIM FREAKING DOWD though (the same guy who was waived earlier this season by the Flyers) in itself makes it another fluky goal. Hey, it's not how they go in, it's how many.

Those must have been some good intermission hotdogs in the dressing room. After coming out flat in the first, the Habs took their play up several notches in the second.

Denied. The Habs seemed to be turning the tide in the second, when Big Tits was awarded a penalty shot on a somewhat generous call (since he did get a shot off, IMHO), but was stoned by Biron's pad save. Small consolation, Big Tits did look sweet with those nifty puckhandling moves.

What are they, related? Big Tits gets is back a couple of minutes later on an amazing play with Little Tits: Sergei picks off a Jeff Carter pass in the neutral zone, tears down the ice, cuts across the slot and fakes a shot while letting the puck slide over to big brother Andrei, who rips it behind Biron. Like they were sharing a brain.

High stick? What high stick? Turtleplek fires a shot on Biron while penalty killing, which is deflected up. Kovy, following the play, swipes it out of the air and the refs call a goal. Replays show Montreal fans inconclusive results. I'm pretty sure at least some Flyers fans felt was a high stick - good thing they don't riot over these types of things in Philly. Well, too bad - the Habs have suffered from enough bad replay calls (I still can't let that early-season game against the Pens go). Still, it's nice to catch a break.

And now another city hates you, Joffrey. Mere seconds into the third, Lupul puts the Flyers ahead again on a PP. More pressingly, what's with the "o" instead of an "e"? Are his parents dyslexic??

Relax, AK27 is back. Worried? Who was worried. Everyone knew that the game plan was for the Habs to stay a goal down until the dying seconds, then pick up a powerplay, pull the goalie, have the opposing center's stick break on an offensive-zone faceoff, resulting in their best player grabing the loose puck and ripping a shot top corner to extend the game to overtime. Then winning one the first shift in OT. Just like Coach Carbo drew it up int he dressing room before the game.

And that is why Mike Richards is the true heir to Bobby Clarke. Not only was that late call clearly a penalty, Richards should get a suspension for intent to injure as he stopped and turned into Kovy's knee. We're not hold our breathe for any announcements by Colin Campbell, though. In Richard's defence, he thought he was going after some guy named "Kharlamov", not "Kovalev". Names beginning with "k"s and ending in "v"s can be tricky for brain-dead goons, though. (Jinx)

Maybe Philly should just let the other team score the second goal. For the 2nd time in their last three games, the Flyers jump out to a 2 goal lead, just to watch it evaporate.

48 seconds. That's all it took for Greek Lightening to strike in OT (sorry, too easy). Have we mentioned we like that SlowGreekBang line?

Stats that make us feel good : Little Tits leads the way with 5 hits, as the Habs outhit the big bad Flyers 38-28, and the Habs win 60% of faceoffs.

Next Game against the same Evil Evil opponent: Saturday in MTL should be a good rematch, with Philly expected to pick it up a notch and both teams looking for a 60-minute (at least) effort. This will not be over quickly, folks.

We Love Flyers Fans

Big thanks to FHF friend Wufpirate of Carolina on Ice who just pointed us to this awesome online photo gallery of Hot Flyer Fans. The Habs Girls group on Facebook needs to pick up the pace.

Yeah, yeah, I know there was a game last night and we'll get to it eventually. But hot chicks!

Behind the Blue Line: A Look at the Defence and Goalies

Hey, look! Finally some actual hockey analysis instead of made-up history. After HF4 did a yeoman's job looking at the Forwards, yours truly and Panger tag-team to take a look at the folks who will try to stop the other team from scoring.

DEFENSE
Habs - with DOOM finally rounding into form after his injury, the Habs D corps is looking as solid as Fergie's abs. We've got the terror-inducing body checks and shot-blocking of DOOM, the veteran presence of Hamrlik, the feistiness of Gorges and Franky B, and the (alleged) offensive talents of Markov. Even Breezer is not sucking, tied for third in Habs playoff scoring [bangs head against keyboard]. Throw in Rhino if he plays, and the fact that Streit has gone back to forward where he can't be frightened by opponents like he was in his games as D against Boston, and this gang looks good to go.

Flyers - Saku's BFF Kimmo Timonen really showed something against the Caps. He played well offensively (especially in Game 7, where he set up the winner) and did a fabulous job shadowing Ovie. He's small, but very smart and quick. Kimmo's partner Braydon Coburn is a reasonable facsimile of an NHL D and led the Flyers in +/- during the regular season. If that pair does as well against Kovy as they did Ovie, Kovy will get frustrated. Of course Derian Hatcher is Derian Hatcher, close to 200 PIM during the regular season and tied for the Flyers lead in +/- during the Caps' series. I don't know any other Flyers D.

Edge - Habs, but with Timonen playing out of his mind, I think it's closer than some people think.

GOALTENDING
(by FHF resident goalie expert Panger76)

Lots of parallels here: both keepers are hybrid-butterfly goalies drafted in the first round (albeit 10 years apart) and who lead their respective teams to a 7-game series win in their first NHL playoff experience. I suppose this isn’t to surprising since when Biron played in Buffalo he was behind a multiple Vezina and Hart trophy winner. Still, Buffalo won nothing in those years (haha Sabres suck…but wait, we’re making of fun of the Flyers. OK.). In the first round, TFS had 2 shutouts to Biron’s one, and had better stats (GAA and Save %). The both got 4 wins though, with Biron grabbing two in OT. So not too much to pick from stats wise. Reputation wise…well I don’t remember Biron leading his country or any of his teams to any championships. Of course I didn’t follow his career in midget.

The big difference is size: Price is bigger by a couple of inches and many pounds, which will come in handy when Flyers forwards are crashing the net and the refs keep their whistles in their pockets. Size not just between Biron and Price, but between Price and the last goalie the Flyers faced, some guy named HueT. Anyone who underestimates how important TFS’s size is is not paying attention: Habs fans couldn’t have been presented with a better illustration of why Gainey traded HueT that they replay from game 7 when HueT got smoked by an onrushing Flyers forward, was knocked out of the net and the Flyers popped the puck into the deserted cage. Price won’t be knocked around so easily.

Two big questions: can TFS(tm) continue to play well beyond his years and steal some wins for the Habs? And on the other side, will the French-Canadian kid step up his game like so many other Quebecers playing in Montreal?

[HF29 note: I thought we were supposed to have the answers Panger ;)]