Jerry Reinsdorf pulls out of the desert; NHL seeks to join its own club

The number two result for Phoenix in Google Images. Just screams hockey, doesn't it?

Big activity in the thrilling world of bankruptcy court yesterday. Gary Bettman's great white hope Jerry Reinsdorf's group has pulled out of the Phoenix Coyotes sweepstakes. This leaves potential suitors as uh, hmm, that guy, and uh, yeah, that group. Yeah, that's the ticket. You know, that guy?

Seriously, from the NHL's perspective, this leaves no one. Which is why the NHL yesterday submitted its own bid to buy the team. Gah! Any fan of the Montreal Expos will tell you how well a league-owned team can succeed. Although Bill Daly swears the NHL would flip it to a third party like some used car, how the fuck can they find a buyer when no buyer has come forward so far, when the price is bankruptcy-cheap?

There is another group who bid yesterday, a group of investors called Ice Edge Holdings. Ooh, edgy. This is the same group that earlier wanted to have the Yotes play some games in Saskatoon and other small Canadian markets. Chibougamau, the NHL is on the way!

Why yes, that is Jimmy Balls over there in the corner, alternatively weeping and smiling.

TMS toys with Jimmy Balls for Thursday, August 6th

Hamilton is beautiful this time of year

So it looks like Jim Ballsillie's bid to get a team to Hamilton ain't dead yet. Yesterday, the bankruptcy court judge ruled that all bids for the 'Yotes would be accepted for the September 10th auction. That includes the bid of RIMjob king Jimmy Balls and its qualification that the team go to Hamilton. NHL puppet Bill Daly was quoted as saying "We also remain confident that Mr. Balsillie's bid for the team will never be approved by the court for a variety of reasons, including that we just don't like him."

Watching the NHL and especially Gary Bettman squirm until September 10th is gonna be awesome.

Judge to Jimmy Balls: Suck It

Some other minor news this morning (a Paul Maurice contract extension, the Wild's new coach, Derian Hatcher retiring, some parade), but undoubtedly the only story worth even mentioning is the judge's decision in a Phoenix bankruptcy Court. Stick with us here, because it's messy.

So Judge Redfield T. Baum rejected the sale and move of the Coyotes. BUT, and this is a big BUT, he didn't really. He only said that there wasn't enough time before Jimmy Balls' self-imposed deadline of June 29 to sort out all the details. Damn playoffs got in the way. The other BUT is that he ruled that the NHL did not violate anti-trust laws by giving the Tronna Leafs veto power. If you're a masochist (or a lawyer), you can read the whole decision.

Jimmy Balls' spokesman was quoted as saying that this is just another step in the process. Bill Daly was quoted as saying the NHL was looking forward to finding a local buyer to keep the team in Phoenix. Yeah, plus ça change...

We'll continue to monitor this situation, if anyone cares. Please tell us you don't.

Live blogging Jimmy Balls

As i sit here at work, I am listening to Tirico and Van Pelt on ESPN Radio. They are currently interviewing Jim Balsillie. I am going to try to report this as it happens, because I am bored as fuck on a Friday afternoon.

Tirico: What is the biggest stop sign in Bettman's eyes?
Balls: I don't know. You'll have to ask them. Basically I said, "here's a check, if I can relocate them to Southern Ontario."

Tirico: Was the South a mistake?
Balls: Dangerous to generalize. My purchase attempt is not part of a larger picture.

VP: Is Canada a "bigger seed to plant"? (or something)
Balls: Yes, Canada is very fertile. Second Southern Ontario team will only bolster the league.

Tiricio: Do you have support among NHL and hockey people?
Balls: I won't get specific about my conversations. I have no intention of doing anything but playing by the rules, building friendships.

VP: It all seems to make sense coming from you. good luck to you and Canada.

/fin

How could hockey in the desert fail?

As we mentioned in TMS this morning, Jim Balls-silly has put in a bid to buy the Coyotes and move them to Sarnia. Or Guelph. Or Etobicoke. But there are some fun facts that we sort of glossed over in our quickie morning format:

1. Phoenix filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy yesterday in court;
2. The restructuring plan for the team includes selling it to The Balls for $212.5 million, as long as he can move it to Southern Ontario;
3. Jimmy Balls has started a website to convince Canada we need another team. Like we need convincing;
4. No one told the NHL anything about this.

This all seems like one big Fuck You to Gary Bettman. If that's the case, we hereby express our support for this move.

Yeah, we ain't that excited about Columbus either - Game Preview and Open Thread

Just sitting around bored. Hell, at least we have hockey again.

Waiting in line details - 7 PM start at the beautiful (?) Nationwide Arena. Blue Jackets coming off a solid win over the Oil and are 2-0-2 in their last 4 games. Habs coming off a bye week. In our only meeting last year, Habs were shutout.

Pay your cover charge to - Gotta give serious props to Light the Lamp. Keeping the faith on a hockey blog in a football town can't be easy.

Hot sexy Habs to watch - well at least Kovy and Pleks came out of the scoring closet last game with four points each. Tangy still leading us in goals, Markov in points.

Skanky Habs to watch - Gui!, you suck. You teased us with solid play for 3 games at the start of the season and now you have returned to your sucky ways of sucking. I think you should go suck in Hamilton. Little Tits has no points in his last 7 games, thanks to the sucky winger he has to play with now. When do we get into full Rhino panic mode? Are we there yet? And what about the sucky PP? Can we panic about that too?

Hot sexy BJ's to watch - all eyes on rookie Derick Brassard, leading the BJ's in points and the leading rookie scorer in the NHL. Face of the franchise Rick Nash is starting to come around with points in his last 3 games.

Skanky BJ's to watch - ahhh, who doesn't love a good skanky BJ?

Line-up du jour - Jaro gets the start tonight, TFS will go tomorrow. As for the fourth line, you guys always know before I do, so you can tell me.

We interrupt this preview to bring you a special news bulletin - Habs are for sale! No they're not! Balls-silly was mis-quoted! Blackberries for everyone! Gillett is broke! Liverpool rules! (well until that Hotspur disaster) Everyone freak out!

Post-game adult entertainment establishment - Kahoots looks like the crème de la crème of the Columbus adult scene. 150 dancers and delicious steaks? Sounds like heaven to me.

Let's talk BJ's in the comments

I Don't Even Have A Joke Title Here

So according to reports, king of asshattery and the man who has ruined hockey Gary Bettman and his dumbass lackeys in the league offices are threatening to boot MSG, the very powerful owners of the Rangers (and Knicks, and Madison Square Gardens, and half of Manhattan) out of the league for having the temerity to challenge the NHL's Chinese Communist Party grip on all team websites and promotions.

So, let me get this straight: Owners who are shady and under investigation for numerous fraudulent business deals named "Boots" are okay; Owners whose monster pharmaceutical companies are also under investigation are okay; Ownership groups who are engaging in what might appear to be tampering with other team's contracted personnel are okay; and money-losing, garbage franchises in horrible markets are preferred to passionate potential owners and rabid hockey markets, because the potential owner is a bit of a maverick, and those types are never good for a floundering league. But you're going after one of your flagship franchise's owners because they had what could be a legitimate gripe about your half-assed promotional skills, even after the Courts ruled in your favour? Good fucking God.

We've got no love for the Rangers, but I certainly would back them against that fucking little twit Bettman.

Hamilton Not Dead Yet? (in the hockey sense)

Ahh Hamilton. You may not be the home of Steely McBeam, but those steel mills (well, OK, Blackberrys) are lining your pockets. You want a hockey team, you beg for it. You'd sell your soul for it, if you had a soul. But when the Preds were sold to a local Nashville group, it looked like the dream was dead.

Fear not, Hamilton! The Kansas City Star is reporting that the sale has hit a snag. There are some money and local politics issues; you know, the usual. The Star says this may be good news for KC, but of course it may be just as good for Hamilton.

Paging Balls-silly!!!

Another U.S. South Team Sold; Balls-Silly Nowhere To Be Found

Keep dreaming Hamilton and Kansas City. Looks like another Southern team ain't going nowhere. The Tampa Bay Lightning have been bought by a group which is led by former Florida Panthers coach Doug MacLean. Given they also bought the rights to the arena and surrounding properties, you can bet the team is staying put. Tampa actually has good attendance, like 20,000 per game, so for sure they are not moving.

OK, which Southern team is next in line?

Panger Rant: Fuck the Fans

The Preds look like they’re staying put, a least for this season until they move to another unviable and ridiculous U.S. destination, most likely Kansas City to become the Born Again Scouts. If not K.C., then Las Vegas - I would make another joke about this, but Adam Proteau beat me to the punch. And Balls-silly (along with Hamilton and really all Canadian fans) gets bent over the NHL’s knee again, for the second time in 6 months. How can Canadian fans come to any other conclusion than Bettman is desperate to keep another franchise out of Canada? He’s already killed two Canadian teams. Plus he managed to have three teams into SoCal, two in Florida and only one in Quebec. Gary, please explain this to me. Right, you’re the Devil. No, that’s giving the little man too much credit…he’s Satan’s Little Helper.

Question: how can Preds' owner Craig Leopold (but really, Satan’s Little Helper) get away with screwing Balls-silly like this? I’m no lawyer (oh, wait…) but isn’t there some sort of anti-trust law that prevents this from happening? Leopold is saying all the legally correct things in the press - no solid offer blah blah blah - but isn’t it obvious that the NHL is blackballing Balls-silly? He made a much higher offer ($60mill will buy Mr. Leopold a lot more of whatever uber-rich assholes probably already have) and had some kind of agreement in place. Although the fact he hasn’t unleashed a Mr. Burns-like battalion of law-smiths may be an indication that I’m completely wrong. I’m sure HF33 can explain this to me.

Legal issues aside, does Satan’s Little Helper really hate the idea of another Canadian team, or does he fear that Balls-silly would become the Mark Cuban of the NHL? The history of SLH’s reign has been to tighten his grip on the NHL’s owners, so there is every indication he bears the main responsibility for keeping Balls-silly out of the NHL. What scares Satan’s Little Helper more, Balls-silly almost certainly bringing whatever NHL team he gets his crackberry-free hand on to Canada, or a maverick owner who has already demonstrated that he won’t play nice and bend over for Bettman? Balls-silly probably earned the second half of our half-assed moniker when he put tickets on sale in Hamilton before he had Leo’s name on the bottom line, but in so doing he has made it clear that he will not toe the NHL party line. And don’t think SLH didn’t take that as a slap to the pitchfork.

This raises an even more fundamental question to all hockey fans, although obviously FHF is not breaking new ground by posing the question: what the f-c-u-k was the lockout for? Increasingly more legit media-types are questioning whether SLH, the lockout’s champion of small market teams, is revealing a more fundamental preoccupation: the almighty dollar. And we’re not even going to get into sky-rocketing salaries here; as I said, that theme has already nearly been beaten to death.

It’s clear that Satan’s Little Helper and his cronies believe there is more growth (read: greenbacks) in trying to sell the game in hockey backwaters rather than in guaranteed hockey markets. While this may actually make some economic sense - how much more money can you squeeze out of an already hockey saturated market? - but didn’t Bettman say that the lockout was ultimately for the fans i.e. to achieve competitive balance, reining in players salaries and, by implied extension, ticket costs? Then again, what are Canadian fans going to do? Stop going to games? Right. Satan’s Little Helper can effectively fuck Canadian fans and all his has to worry about is some piss-ant blogger calling him names.

Or maybe he knows Balls-silly has demonstrated - twice - that he will do anything, and more importantly pay anything - to get his hands on an NHL franchise. There has already -shudder - been talk of further expansion, so maybe Satan’s Little Helper is just posturing to get $250Mill or so out of Balls-silly for a crappy expansion team. Nothing would make tight wad owners like Jeremy Jacobs and Bill Wirtz happier - except stealing candy from babies, of course Hence SLH's power: he makes uber-rich owners richer.

Maybe there’s a reason NHL owner’s are lining up bend way down to kiss SLH’s ass after all. And, whatever Satan's Little Helper's main motivation, it seems clear that he and the owners don't give a rat's ass about the fans - as long as they've already paid for their tickets.

Keep Enjoying The Nashville Skyline, NHL

Well, the Balls-Silly saga (at least this round) is officially over. TSN (via the AP) is reporting that Nashville Preds' owner Craig Leipold has signed a letter of intent to sell the team to a group who will keep it in Nashville. For a reported $180 mill.

So Balls-Silly offers $220 mill, and the team is sold for $180 mill. I'm no mathematician, but I think 180 is less than 220. This can only mean one thing - lawsuit! The Four Lawyers of the Apocalypse, aka the FHF, are salivating.

Cheer up Hamilton! I am sure the Panthers, the Thrashers, maybe the Hurricans and the Coyotes will all be available for sale, er..., available for Bettman to screw you and block your bid to purchase those teams very soon.

Sorry Hamilton, Looks Like You're Stuck In Leafs Nation

So it looks like Balls-Silly is not getting his wish. No matter how many crackberries you sell, you cannot escape the reach of Harold Ballard from beyond the grave.

TSN is reporting that the Preds have found a different buyer, who is expected to move them to Kansas City. Nothing seems firm yet, though, so you Hamiltonians can always hope. But it looks like my vintage Kansas City Scouts jersey might have some real value now.

It's too bad, sort of. I wonder what a Hamilton-Habs rivalry would have been like. Angry and bitter like any Habs-Canadian team rivalry? Or a love-fest based on a shared hatred of the Leafs? Looks like we'll never know.

1st Annual PVR'ed NHL Entry Draft Running Diary PART ONE: Pre-draft coverage

OK so it looks like HF29 and I had similar ideas, which is probably a good thing. So here it is, a running diary of the highlights of the NHL Enrty Draft that I skipped though via God's Gift to Couchpotatoes, PVR. Unlike HF29, I in fact do have a life and something to do on Friday night OK truthfully it was a work golf tournament, and I hate golf. I would have much rather watched the drft live, but alas, the blog doesn't pay the bills!

(BTW, in case it wasn't clear, HF 29 = Habs Fan29, but that's too long to write out every time I have to correct his mistakes.)

TSN intro, compulsory parents/highlights montage. Oh HF29, I agree with your MILF assessment on Mrs. Turris.Can't wait to check out the hot girlfriends when they show the players in the crowd being picked. What are the odds on AE having a harem with him?

OK a couple of trades: Vokoun to FLA for picks? Damn, Balls-sillie is trying to gut the Preds to ensure we can exercise that escape clause in the lease (while its fortuitous for us here at FHF, it sucks for hockey that there is no way to go through an event like this and not talk legalese!). I give the edge to FLA considering they give up essentially what it took to get Roloson: for the 17th pick. Meanwhile, the Panthers give up a#58 (2nd Round) this year, a conditional 2nd rounder next year plus a 1st Rounder next year, which they are getting will be in the low to mid 20s - while the Preds obviously hope for a top-15 pick. Presumably that conditional 2nd pick depends when in the 1st rounder falls. An extra 2nd rounder (or even 2) is more than worth the difference between Vokoun and Roloson.

Clearly Jacques Martin is turning this into his type of team: built on solid defence, and that starts in net. Plus Vokoun is the best goalie Martin has had (besides Luongo, who he only had for a season).
**Cats take Keaton Ellerby with their first pick, so more defence for Martin.

Vesa "Vesy" Toskala and Mark "Ma" Bell to the Laughs for picks. And no wonder the Laughs are so old. But they do get quality, underrated and not ancient players in return. Toskala is young in goalie years (30) and is a huge upgrade in nets, no matter the "goalie tandem" talk from JFJ. Raycroft sucks, and I and other Habs fans constantly remind him whenever Raycraft is in our building. And I like Bell a lot, I think he'll be useful, and therefore an upgrade, on one of Sundin's wings.

Breaking News: I think Bobby MacKenzie is going to have an orgasm (not over the content, but that he gets to break the news): Balls-sillie is out as Preds owner. Oh SNAP: Leopold says he is waiting for a "binding agreement", which is law-smith speak for "pony up the dough or I'm going to K.C."

OK part 2: the 1st pick thru #7