Showing posts with label if you keep masturbating you will go willfully blind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label if you keep masturbating you will go willfully blind. Show all posts

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Kill all the Lawyers - In re: Guimauve Latendresse

Kill all the Lawyers is the newest feature at FHF wherein we invite lawyer Habs fans (besides us) to write special comments, full of inside lawyer jokes that will drive everyone else crazy. Today, regular reader and commenter Damion files this appeal.

In the matter of the appeal concerning Gui!:

I respectfully submit the following evidence in support of my petition to release Gui! from the purgatory FHF condemned him to: Gui! has scored 15 goals, admittedly low, in 66 games. However, 13 of those goals were at even strength. That puts him fourth in team scoring for even handed scoring despite only averaging about 12 minutes a game, which is the 18th lowest on the team. Prayer for Relief:

1. Clarification of Gui!'s contribution to the team in a future FHF post; or

2. In the alternative, abstention of criticism until his play (reasonably assessed) causes either (a) the team's detrimental movement in the standings (e.g. he turns over the puck to Darcy Tucker in the final game against Toronto who scores the winning goal, thereby costing us the win along with a drop to fifth place and losing home ice in a series against the Rangers); or (b) a loss in any single playoff game.

Respectfully submitted,

A reluctant Gui! fan.

Consider your prayer for relief answered.