Did someone forget to deliver the fucking paper? Was the paperboy CHecked into oblivion by PFK!? Do people still line their birdcages with the ink-stained wretCH Richard Tremblay's latest? Get yourself a cup o' java, dip that croissant into some sweet, sweet jam, squeeze your fresh squeezed, rope up your best bathrobe/smoking/scotCH jacket or just go au naturel and pick up the Sunday paper, lay it out in sections, start with the sports, avoid the car ads and enjoy.
Lame Front Page Headline ~ Habs in the Rockies, seek to climb standings vs. Avs
Weather ~ Cold; look out the window - Hot; PatCHes!
Television ~ RDS/TSN, 8pm, see if you can watCH the entire game without getting to section ZZZ's.
Sports ~ RDS still thinks Avs are the Nordiques, Michel Bergeron still Cupless.
Classifieds ~ For Sale, CHeap, barely used, Dustin 'The Wind' Boyd.
Business ~ QUIDAM!, Molson's (TAP) Bell Centre seeks to make more millions, sends hockey team away for two weeks, media cirCHus follows.
Arts ~ Movie Review, TRONna; Legacy, still sucks, DaftPunk doesn't!
At Home & Road Travel ~ Your Habs are 12-5-5 & 7-6-0, COL is 9-4-1 & 9-6-3
Personals ~ SWM, likes hockey, blogging, drinking wine and downloading apps, seeks SWF who likes hockey, blogging, drinking wine and downloading apps.
National ~ Canada's Top NHL team is Montréal. Deal with it haters.
TeCHnology ~ We test iJuggle, a hockey line generating app, uses shake, GPS still hasn't located Brad RiCHards. Next week we test iJiggle.
Health ~ Look at all that blood, Killer Squid got some stitCHes, Lego works out.
Politics/Editorial ~ HNIC; how to stack a biased hockey panel, its time to exterminate the Cockroach Broadcasting Corporation.
Culture & History ~ Read some J.T.
Xmas feature ~ Advent calendars aren't just for kids.
Jobs ~ Ryan O'Byrne found one in Colorado.
Style ~ Moey is accesorizin'. PFK is lookin' sharp.
Cartoons ~ Funnier than Marmaduke.
Photo ArCHives ~ How cockroaches infested Toronto.
Special Advertisement Feature ~ Ice cream, its like meth but better.
Entertainment ~ A Joe Jackson Double Bill (next parody after the intermission)
~ Sunday Bloggers ~
Milbury doesn't go out any more
Just shits at home and rolls his spastic eyes
But every weekend through the cbc bore
Come words of wisdumb from hnic's worst of guys
If you want to know about the pylon and the actress
If you want to know just read The Star
If you want to know about Burke's stained mattress
You can read it in the Sunday papers, Sunday papers
PJ's wheelCHair stays out in the hall
We should go out when the tvs on
Cockroaches move beyond these walls
He'll know the facts when Sunday comes along
If you want to know about ron & don gone bonkers
If you want to know how to be a left wing pinkers
If you want to know about the leaf fan suckers
You can read it in the Sunday bloggers, read it in the Sunday bloggers
FHF bloggers we ask the questions
FHF bloggers we tell no lies
FHF bloggers we raise objections
FHF bloggers we got no Pants!
HABrothers heading west now with the man PatCHes!
Just read some BR made my hair turn blue
Well I got nothing against most of the press
Gazette wouldn't print Todd if it wasn't true
If you want to know about 0-man's big, um, television
If you want to know how to drive iRiRi iWild
If you want to know about the new PleXXXe position
You can read it in the FHF bloggers, read it in the FHF bloggers
FHF bloggers we ask the questions
FHF bloggers we tell no lies
FHF bloggers we raise objections
FHF bloggers we got no Pants!
Harmoenica!
FHF bloggers we ask the questions
FHF bloggers we tell no lies
FHF bloggers we raise objections
FHF bloggers we got no Pants!
Read all about it, FHF bloggers!
GYFHG!
