The Montreal Canadiens, recognizing right before the high holidays they were well short of the ten Jewish players required by the Talmud to publicly pray to Adonai the Hockey God, yesterday added Jeff Halpern to double the number of mensches in the locker room. In addition to his praying duties, Halpern is expected to fill the role of 3rd or 4th line center given the departures of The Dominictrix and Métro, as well as providing some veteran leadership in the spirit of Moses. At a reported $600k for a year, Halpern was quoted as stating "what can I say? I like a good bargain just as much as the next guy."Mike Cammalleri was said to be thrilled with the news. "With this signing, I'm that much closer to being able to show off my shofar-blowing skills. I know we're still eight short, but it's ok, I've got some cousins we can call and they'll be right over."
Bertrand Raymond could not be reached for comment. Happy 5771 everyone.
