BREAKING NEWS - Coach Carbo to Start Cedric Desjardins in Goal Tomorrow Night

(Reuters) - Unable to decide between Halak or Price for what could be the final game of the season, Habs Coach Guy Carbonneau has instead reached far down into the farm system and annointed Cincinnati Cyclones' goalie Cedric Desjardins as the new saviour.

Carbo said "he is having an outstanding playoffs for Cincinnati. He wears number 33, he was fined for his role in a fracas at the end of a game, and he helped Patrick Roy win a Memorial Cup. If that isn't karma, I don't know what is."

When asked for a comment, Jaro Halak stated simply "I incrredibel play hackey, I good date with blond girl behind coch, teem need play me."

BREAKING NEWS - Coach Carbo to Use "Eeny Meeny Miney Mo" to Choose Tonight's Goalie

(TSN) Hot on the heels of Jaro's outstanding performance on Monday, Habs coach Guy Carbonneau was on the fence about whether to start Price or Halak in goal in tonight's pivotal Game 4. After some soul-searching, he decided he will turn to the children's favourite "eeny meeny miney mo" game to make his selection.

"I figured, you know, there is really not much difference, and it seems the decisions I make don't really affect games anyway, so why not?" Carbo said. "It's not like one of our goalies has been annointed the franchise saviour or anything. So I'll just call them into my office at 5 PM, and do that eeny meeny thing. I don't think it will affect their performance at all."

Other selection processes that were ultimately rejected included a coin flip, one potato-two potato, and letting the goalies fight to the death "Amok Time"-style with the winner getting to play and mate with the hot blonde chick who sits behind Carbo at the Bell Centre.

Maybe you're the problem

All day long I have been reading and hearing about Carbo vs. Kovalev. I didn't want to post anything because the focus today should be on the awesome Sens post HF10 wrote. So please, click or scroll down to read that. But I can't hold my tongue any longer.

For those of you who, you know, worked today and are in the dark, Kovy blasted Carbo for not calling a timeout last night after Komo got the penalty with 2 minutes left. According to RDS, Kovy said:

"On aurait dû demander un temps d'arrêt, a-t-il dit. Cela nous aurait permis l'avoir les bons joueurs sur la glace. On a été organisé durant toute la rencontre sauf pendant les deux dernières minutes du match."

For those of you who don't read French, that trasnlates to: "we should have called a timeout. We were organized the whole game, but at the end Coach had a brain fart and I hate him."

Carbo was quick to reply: "C'est facile de dire ça une fois le match terminé." Translation: "go back to Russia you dumb lazy fuck and stop bothering me."

This comes on the heels of this fascinating piece in The Gazette today where Habs beat writer Pat Hickey says Carbo is still having the same communications problems with his players as he had last year.

Last year all Habs fans said Carbo deserved some time. He would mature as a head coach. He would grow into his role. Clock is ticking Carbo. Ask Bob Hartley.