Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of my arraignment in Court following my bachelor party....
- There's this whole Coyotes getting a RIM job story out there, and personally I find it gross and very degrading to animals, so I won't comment any further.
- I don't like it when fate fucks with destiny, so after a long illustrious career being a first rate asshole, Schumi you should thank your lucky stars for your continuing heart rate and stay retired.
- Kyle Wellwood's agent has promised that his client will play in Vancouver next season; in other news of similar importance, the barometric pressure in Bergen, Norway is 100.09 kPa.
Ok now the important stuff. As some of you may know, I am tying the knot next month. As a divorce lawyer, I have compiled enough to-do and not to-do lists to avoid any complications during married life. My bachelor party goes on a Thursday. Some of the boys are taking the day off, some will be joining that night. Why a Thursday? Good friends coming in from out of town deserve to be there and they are all worth the wait.
But will the party be? This is the site of hockey and boob. What better place to poll the world about what we should do on this day? Today, in the comments, I'm giving you the chance to help construct a party that will make the Staals look like Judy Garland. Wait a sec, wasn't she high on heroin or something? You get the gist.
Rules:
- I will not have sexual intercourse with a prostitute
- I will not have sexual intercourse with one of the boys
- I will not be humiliated on stage
- My penis will not be revealed at any point during the festivities
- I will not jump out of an airplane or fall from any place higher than a bar stool (what I call the Herve Villechaize suicide)
- Scenes from the movie the Hangover can be simulated, but I rather not end up with child 2 days before my wedding, that would kind of start the marriage off on the wrong foot.
Let us know what you think and help make it a night to remember...or forget.
