HF29 goes to Newark and comes out alive - Devils 2, Flames 1 (SO) and Habs 4, Kings 1

The pre-game excitement at the main entrance was palpable

So last night, thanks to a generous uncle, yours truly was thrilled to head into the heart of the urban nightmare that is Newark, New Jersey, for the Devils and Flames. I'll just make a couple of quick observations before I get to the most important part of this story:

• The Devils are terrible. I mean TERRIBLE. They have no offense and no defense. Yes, they won the game in a shootout but for the second and third periods, they did even less than the Habs did against the Flyers. And the Flames are no Flyers. They're terrible too. All in all, a terrible game, were it not for a PP in OT that generated some offense finally;
• If you want to complain about Gomez, go watch Kovalchuk. He did absolutely nothing all night, and he makes way more than the Mexican. I feel better now;
• The Prudential Center is an outstanding arena. I walked around even up to the upper deck, and the sightlines are amazing. Not a bad seat in the house;
• Most importantly, there is room to MOVE AROUND. Wide, spacious aisles. Space to walk or stand behind the last row of any section and watch the game. Wide, spacious concourses with tons of concessions and SPACE for fuck's sake. Did I mention SPACE? This is one of the concourses DURING INTERMISSION:

• Now admittedly there were not 21,273 people there (13,202 according to ESPN) but seriously you could put 40,000 in those hallways they'd still have room. Fuck I hate the Bell Centre;
• Almost everyone wears Devils gear. Quite impressive;
• Enough people understood my Kansas City Scouts jersey and its significance and told me how cool it was. This is a hockey crowd, no question. They booed at the right time, they cheered when they felt the Devils needed a boost (the whole game basically) and they didn't need any explanations about what was going on. Good crowd, even with their team sucking.

And now, the important part of the story. The greatest picture in the history of the internet (well, for me anyway):

That's of course yours truly and the Devils Dancers (well, half of them). They were quite friendly. Hysterically, the one to my left tried to cover up the KC scouts logo before the pic was taken, because she said that "only Devils logos can be in pictures with us." I explained to her and her whole gang the history of the Devils. They were so impressed we all went and had sex together after the game. The jersey is a babe magnet.

Oh yeah, Habs win 4-1, and Lego is finally rewarded with a goal. I heard it was a good game. Whatever, I was busy having sex with cheerleaders.

FHF's Comprehensive Guide to the Stanley Cup Finals

Sexy Friday is doing ice girls again

Yes, I know Sexy Friday has gone to the ice girls' well one too many times. But if you have a problem with hot chicks skating around in tight sports tops, well, you're a communist.

Not to mention that these tryouts are from L.A. If you're going to go out looking for bimbos to put on skates, L.A. is your town. So these auditions are for the Kings METAL Ice Crew (don't ask me why they're METAL, maybe they're really into Maiden). The Epic Carnival blog has compiled all 5 of the NHL videos of the auditions. God bless the NHL.

From last year's crew, here's Carrlynn. With a name like that, not to mention the pout, you just know she used to be a porn star.


Lap dance to friend of FHF Goozo for the tip. Goozo has promised Sexy Friday that one day soon he'll share his story of partying with Sergei Fedorov and models in Vegas.

KSK, etc.

Sexy Friday wants to fix your flat tire

Did you ever expect to see a video of Islanders Ice Girls doing mechanical work on the zamboni while two Isles leer at them? Neither did I. Thank you, NHL.com.

Don't forget, Isles Ice Girls tryouts are next Saturday at 10 AM. You must wear form-fitting athletic clothing and bring a headshot. You too can sport the official 70's hairstyle of the Isles Ice Girls.



Sexy Friday as always copyright KSK

Hockey! Tits! Uh, yeah, it's hockey and tits

I decided I don't feel like staring at Claude Lemieux's ugly face all day. Luckily, the FHF inbox just hit the jackpot. I really don't know why the whole intertubes automatically thinks of FHF when there's some tits and hockey thrown together. C'mon people, we're all about the analysis! [laughs maniacally]

Anyway, several lap dances to LeNoceur over at MYFO who shot this our way. Apparently, he's got some spies in the NHL video department, who sent him this gem. As Lenoc said to us, "I guess this is how the camera crew keeps busy during the TV timeouts." Look at that camera work! And look at her tits! Er, I mean her ice-shoveling skills!

Fame and glory to the reader who can figure out which Stars Ice Girl she is. I would do it, but my right hand is busy.

HF29 Finds One Good Thing About the Flyers

This is Rachael, one of the Flyers' Delta Dental Ice Team. I have no idea what the Ice Team does, or what Delta Dental is, but Rachael lists Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam as one of her favourite songs, which is an HF29 favourite too.

Rachael is the only non-evil thing about the Flyers. Don't say FHF didn't have something nice to say, Flyers fans.

Working Hard or Hardly Working? The FHF Labour Day Photo Tribute

A photo tribute to those who work tirelessly to make the game we love The Coolest Game on Earth. They dig into the corners, they get bloody, they do the dirty work, they put in the long hours. We salute you, the hockey worker. Happy Labour Day.

Hey, dating Sean Avery may have been the toughest job of all.