Everybody Hates Pernell Karl: Sabres Game Preview and Open Thread

 

Okay, we get it. No, really, we get it. WE UNDERSTAND, Pensblog. And Mr. Cherry. And Mr. Richards. And Miss Lupul. And the rest of you. You think our little guy is disrespectful. Or arrogant. Or a cheapshotting punk. Or too big for his britches. Got you, loud and clear.

No, I didn't say uppity. No, I don't think you are all American History X/National Front/Chelsea Headhunters racists. Do I think some of you aren't exactly comfortable discussing PK's race? Maybe, but I don't think there is a global old white guy conspiracy to keep PK down like some sort of 21st century Roots. Part of the problem might be stupid stuff like this that only served to set off sirens in everyone's head that make everything about PK Subban somehow a racial issue.

It's not.

PK is an issue because he's a potential star in one of the biggest markets in the NHL, a market that has been starved of a) any real success and b) a true superstar for almost 20 years. It's an issue because the captain of another major market team (Richards) spouted off about respect and people ran with it, with Montreal fans defending PK, traditionalists defending Richards' sentiments and Montreal haters piling on. It's an issue because a media icon (Cherry) jumped on the story, and TSN's Darren Pang Freudian slipped into infamy, and PK scored an overtime winner and celebrated too much, and threw on a Carolina jersey to play up to the fans, and didn't do the right thing in a fight with Lupul, who just happened to be a recent addition to the most widely followed team in the NHL.

Does PK need to zip it sometimes? Probably. Is he unfairly singled out for criticism? In a league where the Islanders pull their stunt from last Friday, and Matt Cooke remains employed, and the Bruins see nothing wrong with firing punches at guys who are already beaten to the ice, and owners get indicted, and players are rumoured to be sleeping with teammates wives, yeah, I think the whole "PK is disrespectful" angle gets a little too much play. Sadly, such is life on a team with such a polarizing place in the game. It works both ways. I can read 1000 "Brian Burke is a blowhard jackass who lucked into a Cup, ha hah ha Kessel trade" articles for every mention of the amazing support he and his family show towards the gay community in Toronto and elsewhere in the wake of Brendan Burke's coming out.  Life in the internet age isn't always fair and balanced.

The challenge for PK is to continue to learn how to be a good professional hockey player without curtailing his unique skill set too much. The challenge for Canadiens fans is to not take any criticism of PK's attitude as a personal affront. People didn't like Patrick Roy's attitude either, you know. A guy named Chris Chelios didn't win a lot of friends his rookie year. Ask Mike Milbury what he thought of Guy Lafleur. Even that Rocket fellow ran afoul of his colleagues once or twice. PK will learn, or not. If he does, the Canadiens and the league will benefit. If he doesn't, the league and the Canadiens will move on. And so will everyone else.

What does this have to do with Buffalo? Well, PK is playing versus Buffalo tonight, if that helps.

What, you guys again?: For what seems like the millionth time, Buffalo meets the Habs at the Bell Centre ce soir. 7:30 on RDS, Versus, and TSN-Habs. Canadiens stopped three game losing streak with Saturday's shutout of Toronto, while (look out!) Sabres are a runaway train lately, winning 7 of 10 and sneaking to within 4 points of the playoffs with a bunch of games in hand.

Leading the charge: Sabres are getting scoring from Drew Stafford (8 goals in 4 games) and Tomas Vanek (7 points in 4) with rookie Tyler Ennis starting to find his feet in the absence of whining diving crybaby Derek Roy. Habs are being lead by the kids lately, as Max Pac (4 points in 3) DDD (First star on Saturday, 6 points in his past three) are helping out uber-consistent Pleks (10 points in 9).

Dragging the boat down: This space might soon become the Scott Gomez and Andrei Kostitsyn memorial paragraph, if they don't start scoring more consistently. Unless it becomes the "OMG, we gave up Jaro for a stiff, Lars Eller is way over matched right now" memorial paragraph. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Lars Eller has one more point that Josh Gorges. Josh Gorges is a low-scoring defenseman WHO HAS MISSED THE LAST TWENTY GAMES. When Squid gets back, please send Eller to Hamilton for the Max Pac treatment. Thank you. Sabres are hard charging towards 8th and have a lot of guys hot, but would be even better with some more help from Paul Gaustad and Rob Niedermayer.

Not Miller time. Price is Right: Cliched headlines abound when the Sabres and Habs meet, because Ryan Miller and Carey Price usually man the nets and the mainstream media is full of idiots. Let's see how the spin the fact that Jhonas Enroth is rumoured to be starting in goal for Buffalo, ending a string of starts for Miller that began on November 26. Suddenly, I'm worried Alex Auld will break down under his massive workload backing up Price.

Owies: Whining diving crybaby Derek Roy is out for the season with a bruised va-jay-jay ... no, wait, he had surgery on his left quadriceps. Sissy. Walk it off. Steve Montador is questionable after being concussed in the head. Habs missing long-term absentees Markov, Gorges, Cammy (for a few more days). Darche and Max Pac are probable for tonight, and Hal Gill and Spacek are questionable so the Habs called up big fella Brendan Nash from Hamilton.

Read this, if only for the title: Die By the Blade.

After game entertainment: See if these ladies want to trade up from Pominville and whining diving crybaby Roy.

PK Saves All-Star Weekend ... what shall he save next? - Caps Game Preview and Open Thread

Welcome back, everybody!  Real live NHL hockey tonight at 7:30 from the (other) Phone Booth in downtown Washington DC.  On TSN, RDS and some sort of American station that probably prominently features former Capital and Canadien Brian Engblom.  Nobody is hot.  Nobody is cold. Everyone has been off for what, three weeks of All-Star festivities so everyone is rusty.  Ovie is still dangerous.  Alex Semin signed a one-year extension.  Mike Green still can't play D.  Cammy's still hurt.  Markov and Gorges too.  Caps honouring noted sniper, dirty cheap shot artist and serial going to get the paper pantsless (FHF's kinda guy!) Hall of Famer Dino Ciccarelli tonight.  I'm sure there's lots more to talk about, but what am I, an expert? Check with the always excellent Japer's Rink for Caps news and general hockey goodness. I'm kinda busy with our new project, Operation PK Makes Everything Better.

You all saw the footage of PK singlehandedly making All-Star weekend worth it.  You heard him sway the TSN team, heard the cheers of the Raleigh faithful (once they got over the initial "holy shit, Skinner's black!!??!" confusion) when PK made their weeks by donning the Carolina jersey.  We are all witness to the electric charge PK has sent through the tired, fading glory that is our beloved Habitants.  While there is no doubt that Pernell Karl Fucking Subban is going to return Montreal to the mountaintop, don't think for a second that he's finished.  PK has his sights set on reviving or improving every iconic sports franchise in history, starting this week with:


Playing quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers:  Sure, the Steelers are in the Super Bowl this weekend, looking for a 3rd title in six years and 6th overall.  But Steeler Nation is being lead by a man suspected of multiple sexual assaults, a man whose reckless driving is a terrible example for kids, a man who causes untold consternation in the hearts and minds of the good people of the rust belt every time the sordid allegations come up.  Wouldn't Super Bowl week be much more enjoyable with PK's megawatt smile and charm as Pittsburgh's poster boy?  Of course it would.  PK gladly takes his swift feet and no doubt rocket arm to another Steel City to let Pittsburgh have gridiron glory untainted by scandal.


Playing centerfield for the New York Yankees:  The Red Sox reloaded.  The Rays are young and talented.  The Phillies and Giants have rotations to die for.  The Yankees?  Squabbling with team icon Derek Jeter over whether or not he will move to centerfield as his already diminished range reduces further.  New York is in a (for them) World Series drought that may never end and is alienating their leader and lynch pin by suggesting he move from short to center.  What better way to preserve peace between Derek Jeter and the front office and shore up their defence than by having guaranteed Gold Glover, .350/40/125 hitter PK playing the position of Dimaggio and Mantle?  Who better to plaster all over Times Square billboards than the most photogenic athlete in his generation?  Added bonus:  PK is so good at baseball defence, he'll actually catch all the balls Jeter misses at short too. 


Noted slam dunk monster for the LA Lakers:  Sure, the Lakers are two-time defending champs.  Sure they still have Kobe Bryant, a stone-cold killer on the hardwood.  But as their old rivals from Boston showed this week, the Lakers are not the juggernaut they should be.  Boston battered LA easily this weekend and has plans to do so again in the NBA Finals this summer.  But that won't be the case if PK "Tomahawk Dunk" Subban is running Showtime.  PK will easily put up Iversen like numbers as point guard, will rebound like Barkley, and as a hockey player, will stare down and beat down Kevin Garnett and the bruising Celtics with ease.  His easy charm and smooth moves will make him an instant star with the Lakers Hollywood ties, and a starring role alongside Jack Nicholson will be the icing on his offseason cake. 


Star striker for Liverpool Football Club:  Sure, they sold their talismanic striker Fernando Torres yesterday.  Sure, they shelled out 35 million pounds for a battering ram 22 year old Englishman as a replacement.  But who pray tell is heir apparent to King Kenny Dalglish as the creator and scorer of the most gifted goals in soccer?  PK "Merseyside Strikeforce" Subban, that's who.  His devastatingly cutting passes and no question about it brilliant soccer brain will dovetail perfectly with new strike partner Andy Carroll to lead the Reds back to their rightful perch as Kings of England and Europe.  The Kop will chant PK's name to the heavens as LFC fans once again rock Anfield to the tune of "PK Subban!  Superstar!  How many goals have you scored so far!!" 

Believe.  And wait til you see what PK has planned for next week.

Got any franchise you think could use a touch of PK?  Put it in the comments.

Plan the parade bitCHes, PFK is in da house

How many times have I watched that PFK end to end rush at about the :40 mark? Too many times to count. Habs win a meaningless game 4-2. In Ottawa tonight and the WIld visit tomorrow. Enjoy the weekend kids.

Oh it's the weekend? I guess that means an open thread of love pic. What are you gonna do? Them's the rules.

Little PK's Can Do Big Things (We Hope, Otherwise We're Screwed). Game 2 Preview and Open Thread

Well, as 29 pointed out below, some really bad things happened in Game 1. Markov out. Possibly for the playoffs. Eric Staal got his tendon sliced, which is also bad (no one wants to see that). Pens scored four powerplay goals (Washington fans just kvetched.) Jaro was less than Jaro-esque. Did we mention Markov got hurt? Hoo boy.

Stuff you need to know: Today, NBC and the NHL get the Habs up early to play the matinee at the Igloo. 2:00 on the NBC and CBC and RDS. Those without RDS might be able to escape Bob Cole and Glen Healy's Leaf kissing Habs hating asses over on the peacock network. Jaro expected to get the start. Only a catastrophe on the way to the rink keeps Marc-Andre Fleury out of the Pens net.

Cold like an actual igloo, not to be confused with the Igloo: Well, a whole bunch of Habs struggled through game 1. Urologist struggles with defence at the best of times. The penalty kill struggled mightily. Jaro struggled a little compared to his first series. Big Tits appears to be struggling with basic human functions, let alone skating, shooting and checking. For the Pens, Fleury was a little off. Matt Cooke struggles with being an enormous ass (I know it was a clean hit. I know. Still pissed.)

Hot like, oh, a 4 goal powerplay night: Sidney Crosby now has 16 points in these playoffs. Cammy scored again. Before Staal got hurt he scored and was a big, bruising presence in all three zones. And the Pens are way more physical than the Caps. There were a whole bunch of Canadiens getting rattled into the boards in Game 1.

The awesome starts here: Despite the lopsided nature of Game 1, despite the loss of Markov, the continued absence of Jaro 2.0, the disappearance of Big Tits, the horrible penalty killing, Jaro being a little less automatic in net, I am brimming with optimism for this series for one reason:

Pernell Karl "PK" Fucking Subban. PFK. The Subbanator.

Wanna talk PK? He scored the first goal. Played over 19 minutes. Finished even for the night, and that was with an empty net goal and being stuck with Marc-Andre Bergeron as a partner multiple times. Made a half-dozen "hey, did you see that?" plays. Took off on the rush with no fear of the effin' consequences, baby. Did crazy stuff like dish it behind his back or give the old "how's she going" deke to guys in open ice. Even got the love from Donald S. Cherry.

In other words, PK Fucking Subban was/is the man. Which leads me to believe that this year won't be Dryden '71 or Roy '86 or Roy '93 redux. This is the year that a new Habs chapter is written by Pernell Karl Fucking Subban, with equal doses of ice water in his veins and funk in his stride. PK Fucking Subban, people. The Doug Harvey/Larry Robinson 21st century hybrid straight from Hammertown via Awesomeville. Believe.

Believe in a two-time World Junior Champ. A stone-cold OHL killer. A Hamilton Bulldog rookie who dashed and danced to a plus 46. Believe that he can do it here and now, because he might be the only chance the Habs have got. Desperate times call for desperate measures? PK Fucking Subban cares not for your desperation. PK cares about your adulation. And by the end of this day, he'll have it. Believe.

Pernell. Karl. Fucking. Subban. If only we had more of him. Like a whole fucking team of them. Just like the Beatles used to sing about, when they were all hopped up on goofballs and seeing walruses.

A Team of Pernell Karls

From the time that he was born
In the land of GTA
When Pernell Karl put on his skates
You could tell that he could play

He became a Belleville Bull
And dominated all his peers
Was a Hamilton Bulldog
Played mature beyond his years

We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls

And so now, Markov is out
Doom and gloom, the experts shout
But PK will save the day ...

[Trumpets]

We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls

PK skates with so much ease
Faster than the summer breeze
He will lead us, he's the man
Pernell Karl Fucking Subban

We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
We all dream of a team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls
A team of Pernell Karls

Do you believe? Tell us about it in the PK Fucking Comments

Um, Let's Talk About the Future, Shall We? Phlyers 6, Habs 2

Admit it, you were thinking it. Stop it.

Well, that was unpleasant.

Lots of negative things to take out of that home-and-home against a second tier team with more goons than brains. We could start the discussion with lack of clutch goaltending, move on to talk about how tired and old both Hamr and Jaro 2.0 looked (among others), continue with a lament about how Gio and Pleks are the only forwards who could find the crease without a road mad (don't get me started on Gomez), and finish off with how unlikely a playoff spot now appears, especially give the injury situation.

So let's not do that. Instead, let's talk about the positive.

P.K. Subban.

I don't recall being more exciting about a young skater for the Habs since a certain young Finn in the early '90s. After all, when was the last time you saw a home-grown player wearing the CH go coast-to-coast? Not in my lifetime.

The Norris Trophy pic is obviously wishful thinking. He got caught out of position a couple of times - once forcing Spacek to take a tripping penalty which later resulted in a goal. He has a lot to learn.

But it was his second game, and you can teach defence. You can't teach the guts it takes to spin on the blueline or the puck skills to pull it off, or the heart it takes to rush the puck up the boards when you know you'll pay the price. Even when it didn't work, he's such a great skater (arguably the Habs best already) he's often right back on D when the play goes the other way - if he doesn't create a scoring chance or draw a penalty, like he did against Brayden Coburn.

This is the Habs, after all, so the hype machine will be in overdrive after the 2 game-2 assist weekend for this bright and engaging young man who seems destined to force his way onto the blueline in the (relatively) near future. We're been down this road before: Benoit Brunet rightly (oh, I feel dirty) pointed out that the very same finicky fans chanting "PK!" were also chanting "Gui!" a few short seasons ago - and we all know how that turned out. Although it should be pointed out that, for a large contingent of Habs fans anyway, there was, let's say, other non-hockey-related reasons to see more in Latendresse that there really was.

(See also: Price, Carey.)

So here's an idea: let's not predict multiple Norris Trophies; let's not start engaging in hypothetical trade scenarios ("Now let's trade Hamr, Spacek and Dagger to TBay for Lecavalier and St Louis!"); let's not place the weight of 24 Cups worth of expectations on a very young man, albeit with exciting potential; let's not even assume he should be on the NHL roster when the Olympics are over.

He may yet turn out to be the best and most exciting Canadiens defencemen of our generation. But let's see him earn it before we ruin yet another prospect with unrealistic expectations.

One last thing, now that the Habs are officially on their Olympic break (and Darwin knows they needed it):

GO CANADA GO

Rain on Your Parade: Habs 3 - Carolina 2 OT

They won! They won! The PP worked well! Didn't miss a beat without Souray! The PK Subban played to perfection!!!!

Stop. Arrest every thought in your head. I want you to tell that thought to sit down. I want you to look at that thought. Now I want you to tell the thought to go away.

This win was eerily similar to what the team accomplished in the first half of last season. Then the law of averages settled in.

You're not going to win games regularly by scoring 3 on the power play and by killing off a bunch on penalties, including over 2 minutes worth of 5 on 3s. This is stretching the team's capabilities again and having them play beyond their capacities. It will bite them in the culo in the end.

Gainey said it best at the end of last season: this team despite its torrid 21-8-5 explosion out of the starting blocks last year was marred by imbalance. Great penalty kill but too many penalties taken, great save % but too many shots allowed. Eventually the team tires and the results change.

The Habs will be a convincing team when they find a way to accomplish 2 specific feats on a regular basis: limit the opposition to under 30 shots and score when playing 5 on 5. That signifies that the players are committed to a defensive system while consistently overpowering the opposing team in the offensive zone. That establishes balance. No need for the players to extend themselves and play in over their heads.

Until then, bring your umbrella, ella, eh, eh, eh, to the parade.

That last line sucked.