It's all over tonight - Habs/Flyers Game 5 Preview and Open Thread

So tonight it comes to end. The thrilling action. The unrelenting drive of our heroes. Good versus evil. The love. The hate. The explosions. The ridiculous yet entertaining story lines. The frustration. Fuck, it's been one hell of a wild ride. Over all this time, nothing has been crazier. You can say a lot of things about it, but you can't deny it's been an amazing run. And tonight it's all over. 24 is no more.

Oh, you thought I meant the Habs' playoffs? Don't be silly. Habs got 'em right where they want 'em.

7:00 P.M. - 8:00 P.M. - the hour when we'll know all we need to know. On the plus side if we lose tonight, the torture (see what I did there?) of our Bob Cole et CBC al national nightmare will finally be over.

Hot like naked Mandy - The Flyers, especially Michael Leighton and Claude Giroux.

Cold like the bodies of Teri, George Mason, Ryan Chappelle, Edgar, Michelle, Tony (he's dead to me), Curtis, Nina, David Palmer, Bill Buchanan, Renee, a shitload of bad guys, and several thousand innocent bystanders - The Habs, especially, uh, everyone. If I was forced to pick someone, we'll go with Pleks.

Wounded like CHase's severed hand - Pyatt's upper body. DarCHe takes his spot.

Evil like a Drazen, Logan, Sherry Palmer, any male Bauer not named Jack, any number of Russians, and any number of Middle Eastern dudes from unspecified or fictitious Middle Eastern countries but really they were Middle Eastern don't forget that - Despite her allegiances, Kristin is not really evil.

10:00 P.M. - 11:00 P.M. - the hour when you can either weep or masturbate to an Elisha Cuthbert photo gallery. Or both I guess. Kim Bauer will always be special to FHF. Stupid cougar.

Let's hear your memories of either the playoff or 24 run in the comments. Maybe for the last time, GYFHG.

The Sky is Falling: Flames 4 - Habs 3 LIVE GAME REVIEW

(Please forgive the lateness of my review. In my defence, I was exiled to Edmonton. Enjoy the redheaded goodness as a reward for your patience and ability to scroll down. Please note the attention to detail, including the Forum chair seat number.)

The Sky is falling - at least in Calgary there's a reason: their arena is very slooowly caving in. (I can't believe no one else has noticed this yet.)

Anyway, I'm tired from twice driving across the Province, so let's hit the bullet points for last's night's "deep thoughts" on the game:

• Totally agree with HF29's recap: it was an entertaining - if ultimately frustrating - game.


• Weird there were more fights than minor penalties. And no PP opportunities for Swiss Mister II. Poor Swiss, they never win.


• The good news includes that there seemed to be some semblance of a "system" being implemented. Good support of the puck carrier; quick, short passes - although the Gomez's passes right through the slot make my heart skip a beat.


• Halak was pretty good throughout and very good in spurts, but not spectacular enough to steal a point. What I`m saying is that there is no goaltending controversy.


• Well, right now.


• My Boy Chips looks like a career AHLer. Yeah, ok, I said it. He seems to finally understand that possibility and his fight in the second, where he acquitted himself quite well IMHO, might have been a sign that he understands his role in the NHL will be as a Steve Begin-type, versatile, gritty defensive player who will drop the gloves and score the occasional goal. But last night I cringed whenever he stepped on the ice. Which leads me to...


• The Habs lost this game because the Flames' 4th line destroyed theirs. I can out-skate BGL in my goalie skates, Gregory Stewart may actually have hands that are made out of a concrete-like substance, and I already talked about Chips.

OK that's enough actual hockey analysis, after the meth I'm going to go (in all likelihood) yell at the TV for the next few hours while "'enjoying" the Canucks game, while (again, in all likelihood) simultaneously cursing the Habs' failure to deal for Luongo when Clinically Insane Mike Milbury ran the Islanders.

Rangers Game Preview and Open Thread

We accept any and all excused to post photos of ultra-hot Canadian-girl-next-door Elisha Cuthbert. Finally, a reason to justify Sean Avery's existence.

At this point we've just about given up, so we're taking ignorance over enlightenment in this preview and ask this question: If we pretend we don't know they suck, will they stop sucking?

• 7:30pm EST/ 5:30 MST at the Phone Booth;
• Some team named the "Rangers", who apparently are from the state of New York, are in town;
• I'm told that Montreal's hockey team is currently in the running for a playoff position in direct competition with these "Rangers", suggesting that the game may be a passionate affair;
• Now I'm being told that the work "passionate" is used inappropriately in any sentence also containing the phrase "Montreal's Hockey Team";
• several media outlets are reporting that a young 21-year old by the name of "Kerry Price" will be starting the match in from on Montreal's net this evening. He sounds like a nice guy - I hope Montreal fans don't expect too much from this guy, who is probably getting his first shot in the NHL at 21;
• I heard that some guy named Patrick Brisebois just played his 1,000 NHL game; Unbelievable! He must be a superstar to have hung around that long;
• Alex Tanguay got a cold from what I can only assume is his best friend Alex Kovalev, who will be playing tonight. I bet Alex feels bad about getting Alex sick, and so Alex will play doublely-hard to make up for the absence of Alex;
• I'd make a joke about replacing coaches for the eight time in ten years, but instead I'm going to go cry in my green beer and long for the days of Al MacNeil.

Please enjoy St Patrick's Day by drinking until you can't feel the Habs pain anymore. And leave some comments - assuming the bar has free wireless.

Any excuse to post Elisha. Oh Sean, we've missed you

Elisha doesn't look so happy about Sean Avery going back to the Rangers.

We swear, if a trade happens, we'll tell you. If you missed the comments in the last thread, the news is that Chips went back to Hamilton and Halak is too sick to play tomorrow. And Tanguay should be back in action this Friday.

Back to my nap.

WARNING - Having sex with this will get you suspended for 6 games

Trying to maim someone on the ice with a vicious hit from behind? 2-3 games, tops.

Making an inappropriate comment about an ex-girlfriend while being Sean Avery? 6 games.

Giving FHF another lame excuse to post hot chicks? Priceless.

TMS wakes up to some sloppy seconds for Wednesday, December 3rd

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of TMS finding a lame excuse to post hot chicks...

• Habs try desperately to lose in one really bad minute but end up winning, 5-4 over the lowly Thrashers. Big Tits had a 3-point night and Matt "The Dagger" D'Agostini (we're working on it) looked more at home than Gui! ever did getting in front of the net for his first NHL goal. More later today;
• The NHL suspends Sean Avery indefinitely for his "sloppy seconds" comment about the lovely Ms. Cuthbert and Dion Phaneuf, so he didn't play in the Stars' 3-1 win over the Flames. Damn we were hoping to see Phaneuf try to kill the douchebag, and we're thinking he's done alot worse things to get suspended;
• Ron Wilson's return to San Jose doesn't go to well as the Leafs fall to the Sharks 5-2;
• Flyers ride the force of their old-school orange jerseys to a 4-3 OT win over the Lightning.

Blog you may not be reading but should be
If you haven't yet checked out FHF regular commentor Copyranter's Habs Fan in NYC, do it now. He hates stuff, which is obviously right up TMS' alley.

Elisha Looking Hot Again, Dating Hockey Players with Good Spleens

Just to prove FHF ain't going nowhere, here's a post with a hot chick for no reason. Elisha Cuthbert, who for the last two years has not been looking all so good and making questionable friends, is back with a vengeance. She has a hot new spread in the current Maxim, and has hooked up with Dion Phaneuf. Those rumours have been floating around for a few months, but now there seems to be photographic evidence.

Mike Komisarek was reportedly heard saying "thank God that crazy slut found someone else. I was really scared for my testicles there for a while."

h/t to The Big Lead and AOL Fanhouse

Working Hard or Hardly Working? The FHF Labour Day Photo Tribute

A photo tribute to those who work tirelessly to make the game we love The Coolest Game on Earth. They dig into the corners, they get bloody, they do the dirty work, they put in the long hours. We salute you, the hockey worker. Happy Labour Day.

Hey, dating Sean Avery may have been the toughest job of all.

Puck Bunnies Woohoo!

You know I am really loathe to make a new post just for the purposes of linking to someone else's post. But when the topic of that someone else's post is puck bunnies, well, fuck, I just can't help it.

Be sure to check out the fine folks at Dear Lord Stanley and their quality post about the hottest puck bunnies. Though as I mentioned in the comments, any list like that that doesn't include FHF obsession Angelica Bridges is totally incomplete. Admittedly, she hasn't been in the news recently the way the others on the list have (and that was the alleged reason for the post), but her absence is still noted.

BTW the posting of an Elisha Cuthbert photo does not mean the FHF endorse that francophone-hating douchebag Sean Avery. It just means it's been at least 4 days since the FHF posted a photo of a hot chick.