Sunday, December 19, 2010

Read it in the Sunday Bloggers ~ Avs Game preview and open thread


Did someone forget to deliver the fucking paper? Was the paperboy CHecked into oblivion by PFK!? Do people still line their birdcages with the ink-stained wretCH Richard Tremblay's latest? Get yourself a cup o' java, dip that croissant into some sweet, sweet jam, squeeze your fresh squeezed, rope up your best bathrobe/smoking/scotCH jacket or just go au naturel and pick up the Sunday paper, lay it out in sections, start with the sports, avoid the car ads and enjoy.

Lame Front Page Headline ~ Habs in the Rockies, seek to climb standings vs. Avs

Weather ~ Cold; look out the window - Hot; PatCHes!

Television ~ RDS/TSN, 8pm, see if you can watCH the entire game without getting to section ZZZ's.

Sports ~ RDS still thinks Avs are the Nordiques, Michel Bergeron still Cupless.

Classifieds ~ For Sale, CHeap, barely used, Dustin 'The Wind' Boyd.

Business ~ QUIDAM!, Molson's (TAP) Bell Centre seeks to make more millions, sends hockey team away for two weeks, media cirCHus follows.

Arts ~ Movie Review, TRONna; Legacy, still sucks, DaftPunk doesn't!

At Home & Road Travel ~ Your Habs are 12-5-5 & 7-6-0, COL is 9-4-1 & 9-6-3

Personals ~ SWM, likes hockey, blogging, drinking wine and downloading apps, seeks SWF who likes hockey, blogging, drinking wine and downloading apps.

National ~ Canada's Top NHL team is Montréal. Deal with it haters.

TeCHnology ~ We test iJuggle, a hockey line generating app, uses shake, GPS still hasn't located Brad RiCHards. Next week we test iJiggle.

Health ~ Look at all that blood, Killer Squid got some stitCHes, Lego works out.

Politics/Editorial ~ HNIC; how to stack a biased hockey panel, its time to exterminate the Cockroach Broadcasting Corporation.

Culture & History ~ Read some J.T.

Xmas feature ~ Advent calendars aren't just for kids.

Jobs ~ Ryan O'Byrne found one in Colorado.

Style ~ Moey is accesorizin'. PFK is lookin' sharp.


Cartoons ~ Funnier than Marmaduke.



Special Advertisement Feature ~ Ice cream, its like meth but better.

Entertainment ~ A Joe Jackson Double Bill (next parody after the intermission)


Milbury doesn't go out any more
Just shits at home and rolls his spastic eyes
But every weekend through the cbc bore
Come words of wisdumb from hnic's worst of guys

If you want to know about the pylon and the actress
If you want to know just read The Star
If you want to know about Burke's stained mattress
You can read it in the Sunday papers, Sunday papers

PJ's wheelCHair stays out in the hall
We should go out when the tvs on
Cockroaches move beyond these walls
He'll know the facts when Sunday comes along

If you want to know about ron & don gone bonkers
If you want to know how to be a left wing pinkers
If you want to know about the leaf fan suckers
You can read it in the Sunday bloggers, read it in the Sunday bloggers

FHF bloggers we ask the questions
FHF bloggers we tell no lies
FHF bloggers we raise objections
FHF bloggers we got no Pants!

HABrothers heading west now with the man PatCHes!
Just read some BR made my hair turn blue
Well I got nothing against most of the press
Gazette wouldn't print Todd if it wasn't true

If you want to know about 0-man's big, um, television
If you want to know how to drive iRiRi iWild
If you want to know about the new PleXXXe position
You can read it in the FHF bloggers, read it in the FHF bloggers

FHF bloggers we ask the questions
FHF bloggers we tell no lies
FHF bloggers we raise objections
FHF bloggers we got no Pants!

Harmoenica!

FHF bloggers we ask the questions
FHF bloggers we tell no lies
FHF bloggers we raise objections
FHF bloggers we got no Pants!

Read all about it, FHF bloggers!

GYFHG!

86 comments:

Moey said...

@moe,

That was a rockin' start to a Sunday morning. Two thumbs up! Seriously though, am I all that in those killer shades or what? I'm a very happy feline today, starting tonight I can start watching les boys on the Habs TSN channel courtesy of Bell. Woot!

HabsFan29 said...

nice work moe and GG! love me some Joe. harmoenica, heh

let's get this road trip off right. GYMFHG

HabsFan29 said...

FINALLY finished clicking, reading, and watching all the links in this post. moe you deserve a raise. good luck with that. but what i really wanted to say is God bless the Israeli ice cream industry

Anonymous said...

Your advent calendars links leads to a rogue anti-virus site

Orangeman said...

That pic of the green men and eggos is sublime. That should be in the National Canadian Museum (we have one of those, right?).

FYI, the Avs are the top scoring team in the league. It's true! Remember when that statement was a no-brainer?

Number31 said...

Subban definitely living up to the Nike Destroyer Jacket. Who will be PFKaboomed tonight?

Every time I see Brandon Yip I think of the Yip Yip aliens from Sesame Street. Am I alone on this? Probably.

Number31 said...

Oh hey! Dustin Boyd is making up for our snatching away Patches from the Bulldogs. Got 3 goals in 2 games now :D

soperman said...

Great post. I especially like the picture of Moey with her tongue sticking out. I am having dinner at my mother's house. She thinks I am fixing her computer.

GYFHG!!!!!!

lehab said...

Great work moe and great timing too, I have been listening to that album all week. Should be an interesting night in this household.. I turned my son into an avalanche fan the day Roy was traded. He was 5 at the time, and I said we could no longer cheer for the Habs. It lasted only a few days for me, however he is still a die hard Av's fan.

Number31 said...

GYFH!

Flying Toaster said...

Bleh, stupid west coast. Can we get this game started already?

HabsFan29 said...

drop le fucking puck already

epic fourth quarter fail by the Giants today

L Dude said...

Well, what a connundrum. My wife and mistress both demanding a little me-time tonight. I've been with my wife since 1976 when my father and brother introduced me. Before that, another brother had me hooked on another babe. But it turned out she was a one trick pony with one trick knee.
Anyway, in 1988, after I ventured away from the small town of Dudeville, another lady caught my eye. She wasn't real flashy at the time. I think it had something to do with her dad oddly enough. He was one of those quirky likable guys who went out and took something if he liked it well enough.
Now, in the mean time, the Mrs and I had a lot of good years to that point, some real exciting times, highs and lows, but always there for each other.
My mistress on the other hand could often be infuriating. The 90's were rough, but we stuck it out. Then BAM! Welcome to the new millenium. I don't know what it was about the turn of the century, but she took me to new heights. Hallelujah! It's been one hell of a decade! And to be honest, the wife and I had a few years in the late 90's where we rarely saw each other. I'd grown a little bitter after our #1 son got really pissed because I made him stay out and mow the lawn for three hours in the scorching heat with a hangover. He moved far away and became quite successful. We didn't speak for years.
But the wife and I have been back in the good books for this decade too. (Hmm, maybe having it so good with the mistress took some pressure off of the marriage.).

Anyway, it's a hell of a problem. I'm pretty sure my mistress will deliver without question, and make it damn exciting too. I have a feeling the mrs is feeling frisky and might have a few things up her sleeve too. But she tends to go to bed earlier, so I think I'll see what she's up to and then when she's asleep, sneak over to see my babe for some certain action.

So it's settled. I'll watch the Habs THEN the end of the Patriots game.

GYMFH(AP)G!!!!!

Orangeman said...

Wooo! Late Sunday night game!

/tumbleweed

Watching this on the Avs feed. Announcer is named Alan Roach. Not sure on the spelling, but I that's how they pronounced it. Maybe he should work for the Habs, according to CBC.

Wow, Sylvain Lefrerve getting props?

HabsFan29 said...

FINALLY

ok, good night everyone. zzzzz

HabsFan29 said...

Rhino sighting!

Orangeman said...

The Avs feed is being so nice to the Habs. Drooling all over Price and Subban, in awe over their playoff run last year, complimenting their defence. I haven't word these words on TV in English...ever. The opposite actually. Maybe it's because it's one Roach to another?

Orangeman said...

*heard

iRiRi said...

Fun preview, moe!

Wearing my Cammy shirt tonight. Hoping to start a streak!

GYFHG!

HabsFan29 said...

finally a decent shift. only 10 minutes in!

iRiRi said...

SQUID!

The streak is alive!

HabsFan29 said...

Squid!!!

Orangeman said...

I don't want to harp on this (or maybe I do) but the Avs announcers are doing a really good job, and normally I wouldn't notice so much but American feeds usually disappoint and the network that won't be named has been terrible. I've actually learned things and hear player names...Hab player names!

SQUID!

And the Avs are complimenting Squid the Habs...they don't even sound depressed. Oh my!

HabsFan29 said...

iRiRi never take the shirt off

Moey said...

This TSN feed is pretty low key, but it's okay, I doubt they'll be call anyone a cockroach. It's all good.

iRiRi said...

29- just threw all my others clothes in the trash. The shirt is here to stay!

moeman said...

Nothing better than a woman in nothing but a hockey jersey.

Moey said...

@Oman,

It's like being in the Twilight Zone listening to all this positivity. I'm getting frightened.

lawyergirl77 said...

Man, Sundays are for football and moping about the fact that I have to go back to work tomorrow. Not for hockey. My internal clock is all fucked up.

Orangeman said...

Wait, people in the Denver area get a 6 inch Subway sub just for an Avs win! We get some measley wings for 5+ goals?! WTF?! Well, Subway is getting a strongly worded letter, let me assure you.

HabsFan29 said...

FUCK

Orangeman said...

I hate those late period goals. Ugh.

Orangeman said...

Do they have a pirate doing the public announcements down in Denver?

Too bad, it was an overall good period I thought. Pretty even, but the edge to the Habs. PP goals on one PP for each.

Matt - FTC said...

Spacek is a bum

Number31 said...

Jacques Martin should walk into the room and write on the white board in big letters: FIVE FUCKING SECONDS.

Seriously. Way to stop skating there.

zdog said...

seriously, what's with all the love? makes me nervous, it does... (scopre on the pp just after they mention how good the habs pk is).

also, tomorrow is winter solstice, full moon and lunar eclipse. some serious pagan shit coming up.

Moey said...

After seeing Boudreau's rant on 24/7 you've gotta wonder what Martin says in between periods. Probably something like this in a monotone voice, "this game isn't progressing the way I would like it too, okay? Good. *walks out*

moeman said...

I'm the Max

Pretty soon now
PatCHes gonna make a comeback
And like the birds and the bees in the trees
He's a sure-fire smash

He'll speak
To the masses through the media
And if he got anything to say to you
He'll say it with a mad dash

'Cause I got the patCH and I got the dash
So CoaCH we should get along fine
So give me some ice time 'cause I know you think I'm fine
Can't you hear me laughing
Can't you see me smile

I'm the Max
I'm the Max that gave Gio the woop-woop
I'm the Max
I'm the Max that gave Mex the yo-yo

Fuck yu
That was one of my good ones
Well what's a few broken media bones
When we all know it's good fucking fun

Skate along the boards
I've almost made them respectable
You see I can always get through

So I go for your goal
I had a giant rubber puck and it really made a mark
Didja looka looka lookit alla what I done
So give me some ice time 'cause I know you think I'm fine
Can't you hear me laughing
Can't you see me smile

I'm the Max
I'm the Max that gave Gio the woop-woop
I'm the Max
I'm the Max that gave Mex the yo-yo

Right now
I think I'm gonna plan a new trend
Because the line on JM's graph's getting fun
And Habs fan can have that
And I think you're in tune
But I can sell you anything
From a front of the net spin
To a left wing trap

'Cause I got the patCH and I got the dash
So CoaCH we should get along fine
So give me some ice time 'cause I know you think I'm fine
Can't you hear me laughing
Can't you see me smile

I'm the Max
I'm the Max that gave Gio the woop-woop
I'm the Max
I'm the Max that gave Mex the yo-yo

iRiRi said...

Someone should check if there are actual people in the crowd and not inflatable dummies.

moeman said...

Picard!

iRiRi said...

Wow! In-game entertainment!

Picard!!

HabsFan29 said...

Captain! Make it so!

Orangeman said...

Captain Picard!!!!

MAKE IT SO!

HabsFan29 said...

oh Carey that was bad

iRiRi said...

FUCK

Orangeman said...

29, at times I think you take over as my (good?) twin from Mr. natural.

Awwwww fuck.

Orangeman said...

Yikes, pretty weak Pricey.

HabsFan29 said...

that's great encore parody work moe

Moey said...

The Caps won tonight. Crap, I was enjoying their misery.

moeman said...

Thx. I promised a double bill and I had to live up to GG's incredible work.

Come on Habs, look sharper.

Orangeman said...

Ok, that save makes up for the last goal. Fantastic.

HabsFan29 said...

redeemed yourself a bit with that one Carey

Orangeman said...

Seriously 19, GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

Orangeman said...

And by 19 I of course meant 29.

Moey said...

Colorado is God's country, I'd like to live there.

Orangeman said...

I think the Avs announcer just had an orgasm over Price.

HabsFan29 said...

CRAP

iRiRi said...

Great. Now, we're playing catch-up.

Orangeman said...

Fuck....maybe not?

Orangeman said...

Wow, Avs announcers ridiculously honest again. "Of course it's not a kicking motion! But if it was a Habs player I would say it was! hahahahahha". God bless you.

iRiRi said...

Please tell me JM is going to use his "outside voice" now.

Orangeman said...

For fear of praising the enemy, I have to say I like the Avs PP. They're constantly moving, got guys in front, don't just pass back and forth.

But they have pretty terrible defence, so Habs just need to lay on the pressure. Or get another PP apparently.

Number31 said...

Good to know goalie mauling is allowed now. Hey Habs! Stop being such nice guys and get in Anderson's face!

wv. phava.
As in Beans.
Which is the D tonight.

iRiRi said...

Here's a stat that makes me wanna shut the TV and get some beauty sleep:

Avs are 10-0 when leading after 2, Habs are 0-10 when trailing after 2.

Orangeman said...

This is sort of random and not that important, but here's a thing that gets my goat;

Every year the Broon have a handful of games in...uh, hand. Every year they have the least GP in the East. Even now, they already have one on the Habs and now they only play 5 games in the next two weeks while the Habs have 7. This really isn't a big deal, but why is this? Personally I'd rather know ahead of time what my rival has done. And we're not talking 1-2 games. Now it is, but it's been 4-5 games most of the sesaon and will be again soon.

Don't even get me started that the current 7 game road trip is the longest in the NE division this year by far (really? 4 for the leaf? really?).

It's not conspiracy or anything, it's just annoying. The conspiracy is the fact that the Habs open and close the season in Toronto. I have no idea how the Molsons let that happen.

L Dude said...

Thanks for that iRiRi. Makes up my mind. At least 'the other woman' is showing signs of life (awesome 71 yd punt return by Dan Connolly - Offensive Lineman!)

Who am I kidding? I'll watch the Habs til the bitter end. THEN watch the Pats to the bitter end. Then have a real hard fucking time getting up and dragging my ass to work. even an hour later here in the Maritimes ya know.

iRiRi said...

@o-man - Don't they go on the road trip to allow the circus to move into the Bell for a couple of weeks every year?

PP!

Orangeman said...

@iRiRi: Definitely. And to give the Southern teams some ticket sales. It's not a conspiracy or anything, like I said. It just sucks.

Orangeman said...

My lord, you have opposing players that have been on the ice for hours it seems and you do nothing. Less than nothing you make a line change for some reason and wait for them to change as well. Gotta make those line changes every 12 seconds, eh Chocula?

iRiRi said...

And yes, that whole beginning and ending the season against Toronto bugs the shit out of me too.

Number31 said...

All pressure no punch. Sounds about right.

And how is that not a penalty? Oh wait, Tim Peel.

Matt FTC said...

Out of first by Xmas?

Orangeman said...

I appreciate the effort thus far. Unfortunately, Anderson isn't giving up rebounds, but of course you have to force those rebounds.

Orangeman said...

My observation of the highest scoring team vs (one of) the lowest scoring team is that one is willing to shoot whenever possible while the other is willing to pass whenever possible.

fezworth said...

Damnit. More open nets than a fishing trawler, and we can't even pot one fucking measly goal.

WV: foolings. "The Habs are foolings around."

Number31 said...

How many crosschecks can the ref miss and wide open nets can the Habs miss? The lucky number is THREE!

Orangeman said...

How many times will the puck come out in front with an empty net with the Habs gingerly trotting over to....pass it to no one in particular. YOU HAVE AN EMPTY NET, RUSH TO GET THAT PUCK AND SHOOT IT! I'm no expert, though.

HabsFan29 said...

sigh. gonna be a long road trip

Orangeman said...

Well, that was the most effort in the last minute of a hockey game (or 3rd period for that matter) than I've seen for a long time. Too bad they couldn't use that effort to, you know, score on one of the 3 empty nets they had given to them right before that last minute.

Good game anyway. Evenly matched teams and so forth.

Leaving to get behind enemy (Ontario) lines tomorrow for Christmas. So Happy Xmas (War is Over).

Number31 said...

If I had Anderson's lucky charm I'd be winning the lotto once a week.

Also ALL FORWARDS with storm trooper aim.

Orangeman said...

Not to dis the Debie Downers (going for alleration there), but this was a one goal loss in a pretty good game against a statistically even team in their home. Compare this to the collapse in the EDM game, or the no show in TOR (or the many other no-shows). One weak goal and an iffy deflection with interference. Not the end of the world.

I FEEL THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT GOD DAMN IT!

Orangeman said...

I don't know what alleration is, but I was going for *alliteration*.

Sorry, I'm typing this from bed with a terrbile tummy (alliteration!).

Mr. natural said...

@orangie: just catching up with you guys here, I was in Quebec city.

They actually think they will have a team in time for the 2011-2012 season, need their collective heads examined.

I take umbrage at your disparaging remarks, that if 29 is taking over, in my absence, as the good twin, does that make me the bad twin!!?

OK kinda suits me(looking in mirror) yup that's the bad guy.

Saw the end of the third, hey we looked PHucken' good but couldn't put the puck in the ocean, CHrist!

Good luck to you in the belly of the beast.

Fishfeet said...

What sucks is that late goal was another somewhat PFK-related mishap ... again. I fear he might get more bench-time because of this. I love his energy, but maybe he runs out of steam at the end of games ? Anyhoo, with Picard's fumbled pass tonight, our defensive chicken is now -6 in the last four games.

Orangeman said...

natural: Don't worry, you're still my (dirty, random, WTF?!?!) twin. 29 just says the things I'm thinking a second before I say them. You say the things I'm thinking but in an alternate universe of ridiculousness.

Random note: I think I saw 29 recently (credible, not crazy. We live mere blocks away from each other now). I stopped myself from jumping in and saying hi. First, if it's not him I'm idiot. 2nd, if it is him, I'm an idiot. You can see my dilemma).

Mr.natural, I really do appreciate your ridiculousness. At times I feel like your posts are the "While My Guitar Gently Weeps" of the White Album that FHF has become and the other posters are Lennon/McCatney. I'm Ringo in this analogy, just lucky to be along for the ride.

We can never meet.

Mr. natural said...

@orange: I think that makes me Pete Best......or Yoko Ono!!!!