Thursday, July 09, 2009
Au revoir, mon capitaine
Lap dance to Sonia who put this in the comments yesterday. It made mom of HF29 cry. Everyone should watch.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Koivu a Duck
Now that just doesn't seem right.
One year, 3.25 M.
Plays with close friend Teemu. Buys house in Orange County. Stars in The O.C reunion episode.
Ed's note (well, HF29 note) - please scroll down to the next excellent post from HF10 for a little more analysis on what Koivu meant to us all.
Ed's note (well, HF29 note) - please scroll down to the next excellent post from HF10 for a little more analysis on what Koivu meant to us all.
Kovalev? Goodbye. Koivu? Good luck. Komisarek? Good riddance.
Not shown: traitorous fucking pigdog defensemen.So it's been a week since the grand free-agent frenzy started, and the Canadiens are a mixed bag of what the fuck that really won't get sorted out until we see if Bob actually had a plan or just threw money at anyone who wasn't part of last year's monumental cock-up of a season. Those types of arguments will last as long as Leaf fans gloat about how Flyers North will beat the Hobbits/midgets/Lollipop Guild/Roloff Family into submission next year (which should be until they realize that at some point, all those thugs will take penalties and pay dearly for it - we hope.) I'm reserving judgement on who the Habs kept, solely because I don't have a fucking clue what will happen. I'm resigned to hoping for the best and expecting something far less. Sort of like the last 15 years.
No, today is the day to talk about the ones who went away, got away, or were shamefully pushed away. Kovalev. Komisarek. Koivu. In that order.
Kovy, the Superstar that Never Was:
And so the era of Kovalev ends fittingly, with all sorts of rumours, mystery, rabid fans defending "L'Artiste", just as many rabid fans wishing he would fuck off, and an anticlimactic finish (the Sens? That's it? Not the Penguins to play with Malkin, not LA to mess up the young kids, not a reunion with Jagr in Russia?)
On any given night, Kovalev was the best player in the rink or the worst. He was dominating and controlling the puck for minutes at a time, or shying away from contact on the boards. He was making a mockery of physics with a wrist shot from an impossible angle or taking a stupid penalty. He is, for a generation of younger Habs fans, the closest thing to a non-goalie superstar they have ever known. To the older generation, he's a modern day Pierre Larouche; talented beyond most mere mortals and never able to put it all together in the package it deserved.
The stories surrounding Kovalev run the gamut from "slacker/cancer/bad influence/only tries when Koivu is out" to "great teammate/amazing work ethic/great mentor for the kids". Given what I saw on the ice and the implosion of the dressing room last year (including Kovy's infamous walk in the snow with Gainey) I lean more towards trouble than terrific. And with Gainey clearly looking to take this team in an entirely different direction on ice and in the room, Kovy's time was clearly up. I will remember the fantastic performance in the playoffs against Boston, the epic comeback against the Rangers, the night he crushed Darcy Tucker, the countless one-timers that sizzled into the top corner, the myriad of tricks, the goal he destroyed Chara and Thomas on. But I'll also remember the bizarre pronouncements, the amount of times I shouted at the tv because it looked like Kovy was taking a shift or a night off, and that I knew I would kill to put his talent into the body of a guy who played full-bore like Steve Begin just to see what would happen.
In the end, I don't have any ill will towards Kovalev. I appreciate that he came to Montreal and then re upped with them when they were struggling badly on ice and off. But I am not about to shed a tear for his departure or curse at him for going.
I will save my bile for ...
Komisarek, the ungrateful turncoat:
(Note to Leaf fans who seem to think this Komisarek hate is irrational: Please review what you said about your former captain when he was contemplating his future about one year ago. That's a pretty big glass house you live in.)
It's not that he went to the Leafs. I hate the Leafs, but I hate the Bruins more. What drives me (and so many other Habs fans) to white-hot-levels of "Komisarek is a Judas" hatred is the perception that Komisarek essentially gave the finger to an organization that:
a) Announced he was priority number one in free agency, over the beloved team captain, the talented Russian fan-favourite, and the French-Canadian scorer the team gave up a first-round pick for just a year earlier;
b) Thought so highly of his input and contributions that they asked him to coach while he was injured this year;
c) From all reports, bent over backwards to help him and his family when his mother passed away; and
d) Made no secret of the fact that they considered him future captain material.
Komisarek received an offer from Bob Gainey that was reported as 5 years, $20 million. He left for the Leafs for 5 years, $22.5 million. According to reports, Komisarek never even gave the Habs the opportunity to match the offer. He bolted. That, more than anything is what hurts. The franchise drafted him, taught him, had plans for him. The fans adored him, defended his questionable tactics when other teams accused him of late hits, not fighting, or cheap shots. We all suffered the guffaws and countless youtube replays of Komisarek getting destroyed by Milan Lucic and stuck by him. The Canadiens and the fans invested in Mike Komisarek, and he didn't invest anything back. That's why we're mad. That's why we turned so quickly. That's why next year, I will cheer every time he gets caught out of position trying to make a big hit, every time he gets thumped by Lucic, every time he takes a stupid penalty. That's why he's getting his ass booed at the Bell Centre for the rest of his life. Like that fucker Grabovski, he looked the Habs franchise in the eye and spit; So fuck him. He could have learned a thing or two from:
Koivu, the man who deserved better:
Lost among the rage over Komisarek's departure and the stupidity of a rally for an enigmatic 25 goal scorer was the shabby treatment doled out to the most important Montreal Canadien of the past decade. Saku Koivu never became the elite scorer his early seasons promised due to a combination of bad luck with injuries, bad linemates, lack of size, whatever. He never lead the Habs to a Cup, which is how legends usually get made in Montreal. He was never fully embraced by a large segment of the fan base, either because he wasn't Francophone, or didn't score highlight reel goals, or because he had the misfortune of being the leader of the most rudderless, Three Stooges-esque collection of Habs teams ever (thank you, Mr. Corey and Mr. Houle and Mr. Tremblay).
The measure of Koivu's worth to the team and city can't ever be quantified in points-per-game or trophies won. His tireless charity work, his ability to come back from knee injuries and cancer and almost losing an eye, his calm and dignified response to the barbs lobbed at him over language by the Guy Bertrands of the world, his willingness to get on with the business of playing hockey without complaining about his contract, or his linemates, or his lack of support from certain fans all speak to the man he was. Koivu was a throwback to an earlier incarnation of Montreal Canadien; The class of Beliveau, the guts of the Richards, the little big man tenaciousness of Joliat. He isn't as fast as he used to be, and he isn't strong enough to continue to battle for 25 minutes a night against the Getzlafs or Malkins of the world anymore. But his time with Tanguay and Kovalev last year and his work with kids like Little Tits and Gui! Gui! Gui! surely show that he had something to offer on the ice to go along with all he brings off it. Obviously none of us know what transpired between Koivu and Gainey over the past year, and we don't know what kind of offers or counteroffers were made. But in my opinion, Koivu deserves better treatment from the franchise he has served so well for so long. If by some miracle he returns, I will welcome him with open arms. If he is indeed done as a Canadien, I will wish him nothing but the best and hope that his next appearance at the Bell Centre results in a deafening ovation. He deserves that. He deserves better than what he's received so far.
No, today is the day to talk about the ones who went away, got away, or were shamefully pushed away. Kovalev. Komisarek. Koivu. In that order.
Kovy, the Superstar that Never Was:
And so the era of Kovalev ends fittingly, with all sorts of rumours, mystery, rabid fans defending "L'Artiste", just as many rabid fans wishing he would fuck off, and an anticlimactic finish (the Sens? That's it? Not the Penguins to play with Malkin, not LA to mess up the young kids, not a reunion with Jagr in Russia?)
On any given night, Kovalev was the best player in the rink or the worst. He was dominating and controlling the puck for minutes at a time, or shying away from contact on the boards. He was making a mockery of physics with a wrist shot from an impossible angle or taking a stupid penalty. He is, for a generation of younger Habs fans, the closest thing to a non-goalie superstar they have ever known. To the older generation, he's a modern day Pierre Larouche; talented beyond most mere mortals and never able to put it all together in the package it deserved.
The stories surrounding Kovalev run the gamut from "slacker/cancer/bad influence/only tries when Koivu is out" to "great teammate/amazing work ethic/great mentor for the kids". Given what I saw on the ice and the implosion of the dressing room last year (including Kovy's infamous walk in the snow with Gainey) I lean more towards trouble than terrific. And with Gainey clearly looking to take this team in an entirely different direction on ice and in the room, Kovy's time was clearly up. I will remember the fantastic performance in the playoffs against Boston, the epic comeback against the Rangers, the night he crushed Darcy Tucker, the countless one-timers that sizzled into the top corner, the myriad of tricks, the goal he destroyed Chara and Thomas on. But I'll also remember the bizarre pronouncements, the amount of times I shouted at the tv because it looked like Kovy was taking a shift or a night off, and that I knew I would kill to put his talent into the body of a guy who played full-bore like Steve Begin just to see what would happen.
In the end, I don't have any ill will towards Kovalev. I appreciate that he came to Montreal and then re upped with them when they were struggling badly on ice and off. But I am not about to shed a tear for his departure or curse at him for going.
I will save my bile for ...
Komisarek, the ungrateful turncoat:
(Note to Leaf fans who seem to think this Komisarek hate is irrational: Please review what you said about your former captain when he was contemplating his future about one year ago. That's a pretty big glass house you live in.)
It's not that he went to the Leafs. I hate the Leafs, but I hate the Bruins more. What drives me (and so many other Habs fans) to white-hot-levels of "Komisarek is a Judas" hatred is the perception that Komisarek essentially gave the finger to an organization that:
a) Announced he was priority number one in free agency, over the beloved team captain, the talented Russian fan-favourite, and the French-Canadian scorer the team gave up a first-round pick for just a year earlier;
b) Thought so highly of his input and contributions that they asked him to coach while he was injured this year;
c) From all reports, bent over backwards to help him and his family when his mother passed away; and
d) Made no secret of the fact that they considered him future captain material.
Komisarek received an offer from Bob Gainey that was reported as 5 years, $20 million. He left for the Leafs for 5 years, $22.5 million. According to reports, Komisarek never even gave the Habs the opportunity to match the offer. He bolted. That, more than anything is what hurts. The franchise drafted him, taught him, had plans for him. The fans adored him, defended his questionable tactics when other teams accused him of late hits, not fighting, or cheap shots. We all suffered the guffaws and countless youtube replays of Komisarek getting destroyed by Milan Lucic and stuck by him. The Canadiens and the fans invested in Mike Komisarek, and he didn't invest anything back. That's why we're mad. That's why we turned so quickly. That's why next year, I will cheer every time he gets caught out of position trying to make a big hit, every time he gets thumped by Lucic, every time he takes a stupid penalty. That's why he's getting his ass booed at the Bell Centre for the rest of his life. Like that fucker Grabovski, he looked the Habs franchise in the eye and spit; So fuck him. He could have learned a thing or two from:
Koivu, the man who deserved better:
Lost among the rage over Komisarek's departure and the stupidity of a rally for an enigmatic 25 goal scorer was the shabby treatment doled out to the most important Montreal Canadien of the past decade. Saku Koivu never became the elite scorer his early seasons promised due to a combination of bad luck with injuries, bad linemates, lack of size, whatever. He never lead the Habs to a Cup, which is how legends usually get made in Montreal. He was never fully embraced by a large segment of the fan base, either because he wasn't Francophone, or didn't score highlight reel goals, or because he had the misfortune of being the leader of the most rudderless, Three Stooges-esque collection of Habs teams ever (thank you, Mr. Corey and Mr. Houle and Mr. Tremblay).
The measure of Koivu's worth to the team and city can't ever be quantified in points-per-game or trophies won. His tireless charity work, his ability to come back from knee injuries and cancer and almost losing an eye, his calm and dignified response to the barbs lobbed at him over language by the Guy Bertrands of the world, his willingness to get on with the business of playing hockey without complaining about his contract, or his linemates, or his lack of support from certain fans all speak to the man he was. Koivu was a throwback to an earlier incarnation of Montreal Canadien; The class of Beliveau, the guts of the Richards, the little big man tenaciousness of Joliat. He isn't as fast as he used to be, and he isn't strong enough to continue to battle for 25 minutes a night against the Getzlafs or Malkins of the world anymore. But his time with Tanguay and Kovalev last year and his work with kids like Little Tits and Gui! Gui! Gui! surely show that he had something to offer on the ice to go along with all he brings off it. Obviously none of us know what transpired between Koivu and Gainey over the past year, and we don't know what kind of offers or counteroffers were made. But in my opinion, Koivu deserves better treatment from the franchise he has served so well for so long. If by some miracle he returns, I will welcome him with open arms. If he is indeed done as a Canadien, I will wish him nothing but the best and hope that his next appearance at the Bell Centre results in a deafening ovation. He deserves that. He deserves better than what he's received so far.
TMS Salutes Joe Sakic
After twenty years in the league, Joe Sakic is expected to announce his retirement tomorrow. Here are his stats and awards, but they don't really tell the whole story, do they? And it's a fucking amazing list of what he's done. But he's one of those players who just exudes class and leadership, our two favourite intangibles. And he may turn out to be the last player ever to stay with the same franchise for 20 years.Enjoy retirement Joe. The 2010 Olympic team will miss you, but you deserve a nice vacation, not to mention every single accolade that's coming your way. And we're sure you'll kick some ass in whatever you do next.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
UFA-Day + 7
I maintain that Megan Fox can attract a quality UFA or two...this is certainly not a lame excuse to post hot chicks.
A week and a half after UFA Day and with the ensuing chaos reeked on the Habs roster, FHF thought it would be fun to provide it's devoted reader(s) with a little breakdown of what next season's roster would look like if the season started tonight - especially given the Habs don't have enought money to spend on any more mpact UFAs. For the next 5 years.
First line: this is based on Bob's statement that they may put some "muscle" on the top line because Scotty & Brian are midgets:
Max Pack-Gomez-Gionta
Which leaves the second scoring line looking like this:
Calamari-TurtlePlek-Big Tits
Thankfully this means Gui! will not be relied upon for scoring and can play next to Mad Max on the third line, with Dagger an upgrade (hopefully) on Greek Lightening in the scoring department. Maybe he'll fight a little more next season like Greek Lightening, too. (I'm going to miss writing "Greek Lightening." Greek Lightening Greek Lightening Greek Lightening. Ok. I'm good.)
Gui!-Mad Max-Dagger
Fourth line has some interesting options:
Stewart probably has a spot to lose, but hopefully Swedish import Mikeal Johansson will show enough skill to merit a spot, either on wing or at centre. Metro could also play here. The only prospect I can think of with a shot is Ryan White, who has Mike Keane-like upside, in Pierre Maguire-speak.
At centre, I hope My Boy CHips finally sews up a roster spot, with Metro or MJ as depth players. Ben Maxwell is in the mix as well. Guys like Brock Trotter (a porn name if I've ever heard one) and Louis Leblanc would have really long shots.
On RW, BGL's groin/back/carousing will limit his games-played, so let's hope Little Tits has a breakout season without Kovy the Kancer (just bitter...and he hasn't even lit up the Hab for a hat trick yet). If not, then I'm hoping Bob keeps one of his 10 UFA's - El Dandy, whose late season play hopefully earned him that 7th defencemen/spare winger contract Bob is looking to hand out.
Stewart/MJ - CHips/Metro - BGL/Little Tits/El Dandy
Defence and goaltending are a little easier:
Markov-2.0
Hamr-Georges
Big Wood- Rhino or Weber or Carle or PK
Unidentified UFA (El Dandy?)
TFS/Halak
So that's the way we see the Habs lineup looking on an early July afternoon. What are your thoughts?
The Morning Skate for Tuesday, July 7th
Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of your girlfriend buying a gun...
Montrealers may be familiar with the excellent local blog Midnight Poutine. Yours truly took a spin on their Métro Roulette. Writing without swearing or naked chicks wasn't easy. Someone go comment over there please. It's fucking embarrassing.
- Habs' (or at least Habs fans') dreams of Francois Beauchemin end in Toronto, where he signs for 3 years at 3.8 mill per. Saw an interview with him on RDS this morning and he said he hoped to play in Montreal, but Bob's offer was not what he wanted in terms of years or numbers;
- Jacques Martin is happy with the midgets (minus Big Wood) Bob gave him, saying we got younger and faster (again, minus Big Wood). He also said he would consider the "group captain" thing;
- Jacques gets some help - Perry Pearn as assistant and Pierre Groulx as goalie coach. I think I speak for everyone when I say to Pierre LEAVE CAREY THE FUCK ALONE;
- Here's a headline that will make your morning: "NHL to investigate Leafs for tampering";
- Blackhawks have trouble with their fax machine;
- Canucks sign Andrew Raycroft. Pencil Luongo in for 80 games.
Montrealers may be familiar with the excellent local blog Midnight Poutine. Yours truly took a spin on their Métro Roulette. Writing without swearing or naked chicks wasn't easy. Someone go comment over there please. It's fucking embarrassing.
Monday, July 06, 2009
Kovy jogs down the 417
Peace right back at ya, Kovy. Alex Kovalev, Ottawa Senator.May your enigmatic ways frustrate SLC for years to come.
Millio...Uh 200 Man March Won't Bring Kovy Back
200?
I've seen more people protest bans on rottweilers in Westmount.
Kovy, ciao bella.
Minister Farrakhan claims 4 million people marched for Kovy at the Bell Centre yesterday.
The Morning Skate for Monday, July 6th
Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of winning your 15th major...
- Pleks is going to arbitration. "Mr Arbitrator, I would like to present evidence that Mr. Plekanec is, in fact, a zombie";
- Some people who wasted $300 on an authentic Reebok Kovalev jerseys protested for his return yesterday outside the Bell Centre;
- There was no such protest for Saku.
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