Tuesday, July 07, 2009

UFA-Day + 7

I maintain that Megan Fox can attract a quality UFA or two...this is certainly not a lame excuse to post hot chicks.

A week and a half after UFA Day and with the ensuing chaos reeked on the Habs roster, FHF thought it would be fun to provide it's devoted reader(s) with a little breakdown of what next season's roster would look like if the season started tonight - especially given the Habs don't have enought money to spend on any more mpact UFAs. For the next 5 years.

First line: this is based on Bob's statement that they may put some "muscle" on the top line because Scotty & Brian are midgets:

Max Pack-Gomez-Gionta

Which leaves the second scoring line looking like this:

Calamari-TurtlePlek-Big Tits

Thankfully this means Gui! will not be relied upon for scoring and can play next to Mad Max on the third line, with Dagger an upgrade (hopefully) on Greek Lightening in the scoring department. Maybe he'll fight a little more next season like Greek Lightening, too. (I'm going to miss writing "Greek Lightening." Greek Lightening Greek Lightening Greek Lightening. Ok. I'm good.)

Gui!-Mad Max-Dagger

Fourth line has some interesting options:

Stewart probably has a spot to lose, but hopefully Swedish import Mikeal Johansson will show enough skill to merit a spot, either on wing or at centre. Metro could also play here. The only prospect I can think of with a shot is Ryan White, who has Mike Keane-like upside, in Pierre Maguire-speak.

At centre, I hope My Boy CHips finally sews up a roster spot, with Metro or MJ as depth players. Ben Maxwell is in the mix as well. Guys like Brock Trotter (a porn name if I've ever heard one) and Louis Leblanc would have really long shots.

On RW, BGL's groin/back/carousing will limit his games-played, so let's hope Little Tits has a breakout season without Kovy the Kancer (just bitter...and he hasn't even lit up the Hab for a hat trick yet). If not, then I'm hoping Bob keeps one of his 10 UFA's - El Dandy, whose late season play hopefully earned him that 7th defencemen/spare winger contract Bob is looking to hand out.

Stewart/MJ - CHips/Metro - BGL/Little Tits/El Dandy

Defence and goaltending are a little easier:



Big Wood- Rhino or Weber or Carle or PK

Unidentified UFA (El Dandy?)


So that's the way we see the Habs lineup looking on an early July afternoon. What are your thoughts?


Vintage HF29 said...

I'm going to miss writing "Greek Lightening." Greek Lightening Greek Lightening Greek Lightening. Ok. I'm good.

oh, such Panger typo / spelling irony

You know, that line up doesn't look half bad. Assuming they all live up their potential BWAHAHAHA

Boob Gainey said...

The only problem is:

Gui!-Mad Max-Dagger

Neither Daggs nor Tenderness are very good in their own zone.

We will definitely need Stewart and BGL in the lineup when we go into Toronto or Boston.

Boob Gainey said...

OK there are other problems.

Putting Calamari with Pleks ensures that he won't get 39 goals.

I'd go with AK46 on the top line with Gomez and Gionta.

Calamari with Lecavalier (he's till coming isn't he?) and MaxPak.

Rédaction said...

Max Pac is way overrated here. The kid is only 20 and is yet to play 80 games in a season.

Big tits- Gomez- Gionta
Calam-Zombie- lil'tits
Gui!- Max- Max Pac


Boob Gainey said...

BGL to miss training camp because of his sore back:


Anonymous said...

Calamari (aka Squid) is supposed to be the best player on the team and I'm assuming he'll wind up on the first line.

As for the rest.... five years... ay-oye...

saskhab said...

Laraque needs to freaking retire if he can't get healthy after the long offseason we've had.

I'm all for not rushing Max Pac like we've rushed every other guy it seems. He only scored 9 goals between the AHL and NHL last year, in SEVENTY GAMES. How does that make him our top line LW? The much derided Latendresse had 16 in each of his first two years, and 14 last year in just 56 games. He's much more ready for a top 6 role than Max Pac is. So is D'Agostini.

HFF33 aka Panger said...


Thinking bout Tenderness on the top line makes me cry. Good points about rushing Max Pac, but at least he doesn't make me want to weep male tears thinking of him on the #1 line.

Unknown said...

@saskhab: this kind of clear and senseful analysis is NOT appropriate in this forum if not accompanied by intense swearing or sexual reference.

Shutdown said...

Defence: Komisarek played with Markov to get to where he is now.

Markov-O'Byrne (call me crazy)

James said...

Shutdown- I think that might be a half-decent idea, actually. Komi was absolutely brutal when he started (sidenote: hopefully playing with Beauchemin or some other dork in TO will make him revert to being brutal) and Markov slowly made him better.
Pairing Rhino with Markov just might work.

Number31 said...

I will be happy if Mathieu Carle can exit preseason WITHOUT GETTING INJURED. Of course, if he does make it through, he'll probably get a concussion while putting on his skates for game 1.

Seriously BGL has a sore back? From what? Playing on the fake ice in front of the Bell Center during Draft Day? I'm a big fan of him and all but this is just too much... Can we trade him for the Boogeyman and Clutterbuck?

Anonymous said...

What does TFS stand for when referring to Price?

Shutdown said...

anonymous- The Franchise Saviour.

Also, I have Gomez's nickname: El Niño.

William J said...

Our top line LW will consist of Little Gionta sitting on Gill's shoulders like some crazed Transformer.

Kate said...


El Nino is a keeper.

Olivier said...

El Nino it is.

I think Martin will go the obvious route at first and adjust after that:

Squid-El Nino-Gia (Talk about a big tits reference)
Big Tits-TurtlePleks-Little Tits
Stewart/Chip-Metro-BGL/Whomever is breathing that day

Hamr-Pursey McPursey
Jaro 2.0-Obelix

Anonymous said...

If I could just refine that to 2.0belix...

Toneman said...

My early thoughts? We're hooped. Totally hooped.

Needed 2 of the three Ks back, ended up with zero.

This will not be pretty, and if the club is sub .500 by xMas, Bob can expect a nice little bow-wrapped package containing a pink slip.