The Morning Skate for Thursday, November 6th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of Heidi Klum dancing around in her underwear...

• The Kevin Weekes era in New Jersey begins with a win. Just like MYFO predicted;
  
• Columbus rookie goalie Steve Mason gets his first win, 5-4 over the Oil;
• Ducks are rolling.
  

Habs are so bored with this week off, DOOM will be on TSN''s Off the Record today.

Habs sign some guy only Panger's heard of

Habs just announced that they have signed David Desharnais to a two-year, two-way contract. As I read that article closely, it says he played three pre-season games with us this year and even recorded two assists. Man, I really did not pay attention to pre-season, because I swear I never heard of him (make your own meth joke here).

We are going to need a game soon before I lose it.

Hot Babe with an Actual Relationship to Hockey of the Day

Goddamn I miss the summer of mindless filler sometimes.

This is Gena Lee Nolin. She is married to Cale Hulse, who used to play for Columbus, the Flames, and a bunch of other teams. Cale recently retired to spend more time fucking his hot hockey wife. It worked - she's pregnant with their second child, which is due any day.

As you were. Well, unless you have good links to her sex tape.

The Morning Skate for Wednesday, November 5th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreami - THANK FUCKING GOD HE WON...

• Tronna again erases 3-goal deficits, but can't come all the way back and lose to the Canes in OT. P.S., Grabs had two goals;
• Sens grab an OT win over the Caps;
  
• Luongo, shutout, yawn;
• Brodeur will be out 3-4 months when he has elbow surgery. Seven wins short of St. Patrick's win total, Paddy can still work on his assault plans;
  
• As you guys were discussing in the comments yesterday, Habs have six players on the All-Star ballot, tied with the Red Wings for the most. That article says "fans will be able to vote as often as they like." That's gonna be trouble.

Still no game until Friday, no matter how many times I check the schedule. Though starting Friday we manage to cram 13 games in 23 days. Schedule of death, w00t!

Another Dream - A Message on this Important Day

In the last few days and in light of these all-important current events, one of the most revered figures in History has sent a message to support the drive for a new black hero.

Five score years ago, this day would not have been possible, but the day has arrived and joy is upon us.

One hundred years later, the voice of a champion echoes throughout the world. If this champion was sadly slowed this year by the manacles of competition and the chains of discrimination within his very own team, he revels in the glory of triumph today.

One hundred years later, this hero will live in a sea of wealth and public adulation. One hundred years later, this hero was languishing in the corners trying to squeeze out a victory for mankind.

Now, as we cheer these accomplishments on we are here to cash a check, on the basis of a bet that was made before these races started, that this hero would win it all.

Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity and acknowledge the speed at which this man travelled to achieve these feats. Now is the time to lift our heads from the sand and recognize the adversity of the twists and turns he negotiated through to come to this point in History.

It would be fatal to overlook how he consistently found new speeds to shift himself to another gear and propel himself to victory. It would be wrong to underestimate the prophetic aura of the qualifying rounds that paved his ascent to splendid victory. Thrusting himself at a furious pace with elating determination in the sweltering summer and willing himself to the highest march on the podium by fall.

And when he needed to blow off steam, we let him as he came to terms with the harsh rivalry his opponent, within his own ranks, afflicted him with. And that was a rude awakening but he moved on and returned to business as usual, and now has shaken the foundations of this circuit for History to inscribe.

But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold of this towering podium. As before he had drunk from the cup of bitterness, today he sips champagne from the fruit of victory and leads this world into the palace of justice. And we must accept our reticence and bow to our fears that every time we thought he would run out of gas, he reminded us we were wrong.

In the process of gaining your rightful place we must not be guilty. We know how your nerves of steel showed in pitts. We know now that you wore a mask throughout this campaign to hide your face and not play on the pretense of race.

Engaged in this passionate race, we have all come to realize that our destiny is tied up with your destiny and that as you cross the finish line, we stand with you. We cannot walk alone.

And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. We will not look back, into the rear view mirrors of doubt and injustice, nor engage in the lanes of eagerness and sloth.

"When will you be satisfied?" as he stands at the top, this champion of our cause. Will you be satisfied if at the final turn of the next long marathon, he no longer holds this crown? We can never be satisfied. Because he is the very first black man to move into this conversation of equality and victory and we will want to keep him there forever. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until his engines of hope rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream.

I have a dream that one day this man will repeat the feats he has accomplished today.

I have a dream that one day these races will all be equal, and that all tracks shall be maintained in proper condition so as not to slow the process of democracy.

I have a dream where everyone may hold hands, and watch this man as he steers himself to glory, again and again. Where we can see the meaning and beauty of both colors in the checkered flag at the line, and in our checkered pasts.

This is our hope. This is the faith with which we may infuse our homes. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful formula, won over by brotherhood.

We have elected this figure into our unconscious soul as we yearn for a just world. Let freedom ring from the bleachers of our coliseums. Let the red lights turn to green as we give way to equality. Let freedom ring from the curvaceous turns of these dangerous tracks. From every mountainside, let freedom ring. When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day as he speeds to victory when all of God's children may aspire to this title. "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal." Not this man, not Lewis Hamilton. He's so fast, he's so fast, thank God Almighty, he drove so fast.

The Morning Skate for Tuesday, November 4th

Bullet points for what you missed while dreaming of taking all 50 states...

• We're getting real sick and tired of Buffalo being good. It's alot of work changing that "Habs Record" box on the right. 2-0 over the Brodeur-less Devils;
• Symbolism of the new Western Conference - well, except for the Wings and Sharks - Chicago crushes the Avs 6-2;
• Sundin, meetings, yada, yada. Here's a hot Swedish chick to make up for mentioning his name.
  

To all our American readers, WTF are you doing read this? Go VOTE.

Because if there is one thing we need, it's another show of people screaming at each other

We'd be remiss if we didn't at elast mention the debut of the new show on RDS tonight, l'antichambre. At 9:30 PM every weeknight, 4 talking heads will yell about the Habs for a half-hour. If that sounds familiar, you're right.

The above countdown clock is taken from RDS.ca, so you can count down the time until you need to take an Advil.

The Morning Skate for Monday, November 3rd

Bullet points for what you missed while having nightmares of long lines to vote...

• Tronna gets their own "comeback kids" tag reversed on them, give up 4 straight goals to lose to the Canes;
• Red-hot Ducks beat red-hot Flames;
• This whole young Russians going home thing is going to get worse before it gets better.

Sit back and relax kids, no Habs game until Friday. Bring on the mindless filler!

BABY, WHAT A COMEBACK: Habs 5 - Islanders 4- The Player Edition

This is not a new story, simply a modified storyline.

They first did it against the most improbable nemesis.

They did it late in the season, very late in the game.

They did it in the playoffs.

And, of course, they did it for History.

They trail, they come back and they win. Sometimes they're down by 2 with 2 minutes left. Sometimes they're down by 5. But then the blitz is on and the shocked opponent is left with a sense of what-the-hell-just-happened.

So should we even be surprised anymore? Maybe not, but it never gets boring. Even when the team is all busy coming up with the worst 2 periods of this young season. Even when Ryan O'Jeeesus is all busy falling behind his net and crashing into the boards into imaginary Islanders or giving the puck to very real ones. Even when Carey Price negotiates a floating wrist shot the way one would approach Aramaic. Even if Robert Lang has taken a liking to finding the right side of open nets and missing them.

It doesn't matter how bad it gets, the Habs keep finding ways to leave the rink with the 2 cockiest points you'll ever see. We used to think that good teams don't get themselves in this position in the first place, but it's starting to look like very good teams just find a way to win, no matter how stanky the crap at their knees is.

Of course, more often than not, you don't usually mount this type of comeback, 3 goals down on the road in the third period without some bad goaltending. And bad goaltending the Islanders got, Yann Danis made sure of that. How bad was Danis? You could just hear Halak saying "Danis, oh so bad, he never win the Vegina". That bad.

But the Habs dominated the third, thanks in large part to the Kovy, Pleks and Les Grands Seins. They were unstoppable, playing at a furious pace that gave you a sense that this would indeed be another one of those nights. It may well have been their coming out party, but only time will indicate the truth in that.

Two cocky points in the bank.

We ask that you please bear with us while we talk college football - Isles Game Preview and Open Thread

So the Habs are on Long Island this evening to play the league-worst Islanders. You'll excuse me if I don't jump up and down in excitement. However, there is another event today which is getting me all hot and bothered, and it is known as The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Or as I like to call it, The Cock.

The Cock is the annual matchup between my beloved Florida Gators (long story, but this Canadian boy has deep Gainesville roots) and the Georgia Bulldogs. This year The Cock is extra special, with both teams still having national championship hopes and last year's Georgia unsportsmanlike Gator Stomp. The Cock is so huge, a Georgia school district simply cancelled class yesterday. Fuck I love hockey, but there is just something about a big college football game. Kickoff 3:30 PM on CBS.

If all this is fucking boring to you, please grab a cocktail and head over to Poon of the SEC for coverage of The Cock . Maybe that'll change your mind. On to the cocktail party-themed Isles preview.

The 6-pack at home before you go out - 7 PM Nassau Coliseum. It's "throwback night" as the Isles will go back to the mid-70's for their unis. You know, back when they were good. Habs have the best winning percentage in the NHL. I'll say it again - trap, trap! Isles are supposedly playing well lately, but are 0-4-1 in their last 5. Last year, Habs were 4-0 against the Isles. For a game on the Island, always gotta mention Higgy and DOOM going home.

Your regional beer - Not Your Average Ice Girl brings you "Passion, Sarcasm, and Fishsticks... what more could a girl want?" Not a thing Kelly. Maybe some tartar sauce.

Hot 'n spicy bloody caesar - TFS(tm) has been outstanding, leading the NHL in GAA (1.91) and third in save percentage (.937). Tangy 5 points in his last 3 games. For the Isles, hold on to your glass - Mark Streit has 6 points in his last 4 games. Doug Weight leads the team with 8 points.

Ice cold vodka in the freezer - Pleks, Little Tits, and Gui! are becoming permanent members of this space. Pleks leads the team in shots on goal - does that count for anything? For the Isles, well, just look at their record.

When a Montreal cocktail party is called for 8 PM, you show up at 10:30 - as usual when I write these things too early, still no word on the Habs lineup. We'll update in the comments as the day goes on.

Don't I know you from somewhere? With DiPietro out with an injury, Yann Denis will start in goal for the Isles.

Shit, we struck out, let's go to a strip club - get back on the L.I.E. and head to Cafe Royale. We always appreciate a strip club that puts fully nude photos of their dancers on their website.

Won't you join us for a cocktail in the comments?